XXXDamn now I should have known I wouldn't be finished with this thing before the new season started! I was hoping, but its not going to happen. A few talked me into NOT rushing the ending, so a few more chapters will be arriving. BUT only a few. Besides, what fun would it be to see him after all this time just get up and walk off, right? Anyway, LOL Here's chapter 30...now..not the end. hehehe
M.
Rules and Broken Trust
Chapter 30
"You're refusing to press charges..." FBI Agent Keith Hampton stared across his desk at Bosco, his emotions all over the place on this issue, "Even when its going to put Vetresco back on the street? Maybe even back in uniform, after you two get a major suspension of course, if you aren't both fired that is." Tapping his pen on the desktop blotter, he shook his head slightly before he sat back in his leather chair frustration pouring off of him.
"That's what I said," Bosco sat back in the stiff backed chair Hampton had directed him to earlier, "don't think I stuttered, did I?" Face set with his usual stubborn unrelenting glare, "And, as far as my career goes, that's none of your business." Eyes locked with Hamptons, Bosco refused to back down, even after 30 minutes of Hampton trying to convince him otherwise, "Even if you take it, or get the ADA to take it to court, I'll never change what I told you, so I guess its up to you how much taxpayer money you think needs to be wasted Hampton."
Tossing his pen halfway across his desk, Hampton threw up his hands in defeat, "Fine, I think you're crazy as a damn loon Boscorelli, but the Shrink over at Mercy says you're not, and if you deny what Vetresco's already told us happened, there's not much I can do about it." Pushing back from his desk in a huff, his chair rolling swiftly backwards, he stood to walk around to the front of the desk, "I guess we've said all there is to say to each other," waving his hand to the outer door, dismissing Bosco he walked forward to yank the door open, waiting for him to follow and exit.
Hands on his knees, Bosco gave a victory nod, stood and turning walked past Hampton without another word, only to stop as he reached the outer area, turning back, "When can he get out of there?" Not having to elaborate as they had only spoken about one person.
"I'll have to talk to the ADA, I think he still wants to go forward with something, even if he can't get you to cooperate," Hampton's body language gave off defeat now, "just because you feel sorry for this guy, doesn't mean he's free and clear you know, he did confess to enough crimes to put him away for a long time, and there is some proof even if you didn't provide it." Stepping back he closed his door without waiting for Bosco to respond, reaching his desk he sat heavily in his chair, half of him in agreement with Boscorelli, half of him wishing he'd gone forward with the charges, then at least Vinny could be declared incompetent and get the help he needed. Snatching up the pen, he threw it across the room, "DAMN IT!"
XXXXXXXXXX
"I'm here to see Vincent Vetresco," Bosco stood before the sign-in desk, his ID held out before him, looking more confident than he felt, "names Boscorelli." Giving the woman before him, his most disarming smile he was hoping she'd not do more than let him sign in and call Vinny up, seeing her look him over, and then return his smile he began to relax.
"Sure," she replied, "let me just check his visitor's list." Bosco's stomach sank as she scanned over the admit/no admit sheet, "Well," she scowled, "I don't see you on the admit list, but you're not on the 'keep out' list either, okay, its probably aright. Wait here, and I'll get someone to bring you back."
Bosco didn't tell her he knew the way, he simply smiled his thanks and waited until the guard returned with her, "You Boscorelli?" The guard looking him up and down, "Gonna have to do a search, you been here before?"
"Yea," Bosco didn't elaborate as the man led him through the doors, "no problem, I know the procedure."
Holding his arms out, he allowed the guard to pat him down as he answered no to the questions the guard asked about concealed weapons and syringes, but when the man's hands moved up his legs a wave of cold sweat wringing fear swept over him, causing him to miss a question, but it was gone as fast as it came, "Sorry, what was that again?"
"I asked if you were family, or a lawyer or something," standing again in front of him as Bosco lowered his arms, "you don't look like family, but that don't mean nothing nowadays, hell my sisters kids don't look nothing alike, ones real skinny and redheaded, the others round as a bowling ball and got hair as black as coal." Standing patiently before him, waiting for an answer as Bosco stood wondering what the hell he was talking about.
"Um, no, neither, just a friend," his answer slow as he replayed the question in his rattled mind, "just want to check on him, make sure he's okay, you know?" Trying to smile casually as he followed the guard down the hallway, his hand lifting to wipe the sweat from his upper lip, glad the man hadn't noticed.
"Well," the guard was speaking in a low tone as he led the way to the visitors booths, "just so you know, your friends in here on some pretty serious charges. Kidnapped a cop, or so they're saying, kind of hard to believe after you talk to him a bit, seems like he's a really nice guy, and a cop too. Heard about the FBI trying to blow them up 'saving' the cop. Idiots, nearly killed that cop Boscorelli from what I heard, damn strange thing that, then Vetresco goes and confessed and everything, guess you never know huh?." Bosco felt himself beginning to panic as the man stopped suddenly to turn to him, "Last I heard Boscorelli was in the hospital, hey," he paused a scowl crossing his forehead, "didn't you say...son of a bitch...you're the cop, Boscorelli!"
Like a deer in headlights, he could only stand there as the guard turning all the way around spoke in a harsh tone, "What in the hell do you want to see him for? Are you looking for some kind of showdown or something? Does his lawyer know you're here? I mean, hell man why didn't you just say who you were to begin with, get a few of the guys together, we'd let you have your minutes alone, if you know what I mean?" His hand drawing his nightstick from his belt, he stepped forward eagerly as he whapped it slowly a few times across his palm, "You looking for some payback?"
"NO," Bosco stepped back from him, fear all over his face, "I, I just," the guard giving him a puzzled look at his sudden retreat, slipped his stick back into his belt.
"Hey," he stepped forward, "take it easy man, it was just an offer," hands palm out, he recognized the fight or flight look on Bosco's face, sensing he needed to back off, he stepped back again, "You sure you want to do this? You don't look so good man."
"Um," Bosco was finding it hard to breath suddenly, "I," he fought with himself to calm down as the guard frowned at him in concern, "I'm fine," blinking quickly, he nodded sucking in a shaky breath, "I just wanted to talk to him, that's all. Nobody kidnapped anyone, it was all a huge mistake, I'm just kind of jumpy since the um 'rescue' thing," trying for a laugh, "ears still are kind of messed up, you know?"
"Yea," the guard studied him, "sure, I guess so. Okay, well its your time, if he wants to see you, whatever. Not like anyone said you couldn't see him." Leading him to a door, he keyed it open as he waited for Bosco to catch up, "Mistake huh?" Eyeing him closely again, "Hell of a mistake, somebody's heads gonna roll on that one I bet."
"Don't know about that," Bosco tried to grin as he passed by him entering the room, "guess we have to wait and see." The guard pointed him to a booth three spaces down, then left him alone, pulling the door shut as he went. Bosco slowly walked past a woman talking to a man, trying not to notice she was crying as the man pleaded with her to get him out of here, to take a seat at the booth he'd been directed to.
Eyes wide as he allowed his vision to wander around the room, Bosco realized that he'd been in this spot before, for Mikey last year, wondering how he was doing, he decided to take a trip upstate to visit him when this was all over. Spotting the guards booth, he gave a nod to the man behind the glass staring at him, feeling rather vulnerable suddenly, he swallowed as he returned his gaze to the wall in front of him, looking through the bulletproof glass that separated visitor from prisoner. Clasping his hands together in front of him, he waited, wondering if Vinny would agree to see him, or if the guard would return to take him back to the exit, several minutes passing before the door on the prisoners side leading in finally opened.
Vinny stood staring at him through the wired glass, not believing the guard until he saw his nervous wide blue eyes staring back at him a half grin sweeping his face before Bosco started biting his cheek as Vinny stood silent before him, giving a small disbelieving head shake Vinny pulled out the chair before him to sit, picking up the phone as Bosco picked up his, "Stop chewing your cheek Maurice, and tell me, what the hell are you doing here?"
"I wanted to see you," Bosco releasing his cheek from between his teeth gave another half smile, "see how you were doing, and tell you I'm working on getting you out of this place." Now that they were face to face, his nervousness decreased somewhat, though not in the way he'd thought, "I already talked to Hampton, and Swersky knows I'm not going to press charges, I told them you were just trying to get me home and that everything you said was bullshit, I'm going talk to the ADA tomorrow, I would have done it today, but it was too lat..."
"Stop," Vinny leaned forward, frustrated despair straining his voice, "just stop it. Maurice, what are you trying to accomplish? I've already heard all about what you're doing, from Hampton, he left here a few minutes ago! You'll lose your damn job for God's sake! Just leave it alone, please, I can't be the reason you lose your career. I've done enough damage." His hand passing over his eyes Vinny huffed as he tried to calm himself, the idea of Maurice getting in deeper with the lies making him want to throw something, "Did you even give any consideration to what you'll do if you can't be a cop? Somehow I don't see you as a security guard..." stopping himself from using an endearment, he gave him a harsh look, "Stop the martyr bit and just go home Maurice, get your life back, please, I don't want you to save me. Trust me, there's nothing left to save."
"No," Bosco leaned forward, his feelings clearly written on his face, making Vinny more upset, "I won't stop, you don't deserve to be here and you know it. If anybody's doing a 'martyr' thing it's you. That bastard fucked your head up," jabbing himself in the temple lightly to illustrate his point, "he's the one deserves to be here, not you! All you have to do is let me help you, and you can get help on the outside, just like I did, am, whatever, but not in here!" Rapping the glass with the phone as Vinny lowered the phone he held, to hang it up now looking away, Bosco stood up, shouting, "DON'T YOU DO THIS VIN, DON'T YOU IGNORE ME! YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS SHIT!"
Vinny stood up as he replaced the phone on its hook, touched the glass lightly with his fingers as he gave him a sad smile, mouthing, "Go home, love," and turning away walked to the door, calling to the guard to bring him out.
Bosco slammed the phone into the glass yelling at him to come back, before dropping the phone as a guard quickly came into the room to warn him to stop. Vinny looked back briefly before he moved past the guard waiting for him, to see him staring at him in angry sorrow, hands out at his side as the guard moved to him telling him he had to leave now, Bosco started to say something to him, but stopped, his head dropping to stare at the ground as he nodded at the guard speaking to him.
XXXXXXXXXX
"What were you thinking?" Faith asked as Fred took the kids out of the apartment, leaving them to talk alone, "You really have gone over the edge haven't you? Didn't your shrink tell you to stay away from him for now? Really Bos, you had to know Swersky would go ballistic over this whole, dropping the charges, oh wait, no, its never filed charges, right?" Placing a soda in front of him, she sat in the opposite chair at the kitchen table, "Wow, you've really been busy for only one day free, haven't you?"
Ignoring the soda, he nodded, "I guess." Fingers rubbing the edge of the much waxed table, he stared at the grain, tracing the pattern with his thoughts as she studied him in much the same way, "I can't leave him there Faith, what if the same thing happens that happened before? That would be twice that guy Starke screwed him over, he's the one deserves prison, not Vin."
Refraining from the comment of 'they both do' that she wanted to say, Faith simply shrugged her brows and swigged her soda again before speaking, voice gentle as she tried to see it his way, "Bos, you can only help him if he wants you to, he doesn't. Why don't you concentrate on getting your life back together first..."
"How?" instantly on the defensive and attack, never ceasing to amaze her how he could do that, "If I don't do this, then everyone knows what happened! You think for one minute I'd EVER hear the end of it? Faith, no partner would ever trust me again! I wouldn't be a cop anymore, I'd be an accident waiting to happen and you know it! The first time, FIRST TIME FAITH, I got my ass kicked by a perp that would be it, doesn't matter that it happens to cops everyday, all anyone would say would be, "see, Boscorelli the fag can't defend himself, how can he back up a partner! Oh wait, even his partner can kick his ass!" Head lowered, he stared at the floor now as she sat silently watching him, "and they'd be right."
"No they wouldn't Bos," Faith leaned over the table, touching his arm to get his attention, when he looked up, her heart broke at the discouraging look on his face, "not one person at the station has had a bad thing to say about you," giving a quick smirk at him to try to bring him around, "well, not more than usual, anyway." His small snort of laughter giving her some hope he wasn't completely tuning her out, "And after they found out what happened to Vetresco, most didn't even blame him. And anyone who does, well you just have to do what you always do, ignore them."
"This is different," he looked over at her, his head still low, "and you know it. I'd rather them think I just flipped out, and Vinny had to drag my ass off to chill, than..." His comment left hanging between them, he gave a long drawn out sigh, picking up the soda finally to take a large swig.
"Yea," Faith nodding as she looked off into the living room, a silence stretching out between them now.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"How are you feeling, been getting any sleep?" Dr. Douglas asked as he offered Bosco a bowl of jelly beans, snagging a few for himself before he sat back, "Have the nightmares passed?"
"Yea," Bosco grinned at him as he popped the small candies into his mouth, chewing a moment before continuing, "actually I've been sleeping pretty sound, considering my neighbor thinks that Hip Hop is romance music, guy plays that crap all damn night long," smirking, "well he did until I told him I'd throw his stereo out the window." At the quick look Dr. Douglas gave him, he laughed, "Just kidding Doc, we compromised, I offered NOT to throw it out the window, if he agreed to keep it down and only play it for a couple of hours. He saw reason," Bosco leaned over to pick through the candy again, "problem solved."
"Um hum," Dr. Douglas munching on one candy at a time now, gave him a pointed look, not asking again as he waited quietly.
"NO," Bosco leaned back having taken only the orange and black candies from the dish, "no more nightmares, well, at least not every night, and hell I've had those since I was a kid, nothing new there."
"I heard you have been on a tear about getting Mr. Vetresco out of jail," Dr. Douglas looked over his glasses at him, "I thought we discussed your staying out of it for the time being, give some space to deal with the 'bonding' thing, let it subside."
"Damn," Bosco frowned, his forehead wrinkling up, "how the hell do you find this stuff out?" Raising his eyes to look at the ceiling he gazed around the room, "You got spies watching me or what?"
A small chuckle rising from him, Dr. Douglas shook his head, "No, but I get reports from Agent Hampton and Lt. Swersky, and believe it or not, I'm allowed to do that, as long as I don't give them any return information. Now, what did you talk about when you went to see Mr. Vetresco, Maurice?"
Folding his arms in front of him, Bosco sat back in a huff against the couch cushion, "Nothing much, he wouldn't talk to me, I just wanted to tell him I wasn't pressing charges, but," shifting on the couch, and looking away, "he told me to leave, and got up and walked out."
"Probably for the best," Dr. Douglas nodded, "but how did you react?"
Tilting his head and narrowing his eyes suspiciously, "Seems to me you already know, Doc, so why don't you tell me?" Bosco glared at him, but stayed put, something he'd not done in the first sessions, getting angry quickly and exiting even after being told he couldn't just walk out on his own, forcing the guard to chase after him.
Dr. Douglas smiling internally could see some progress being made now, "Well, from what I heard, you got mad, but controlled it very well, when the guard told you to stop, you stopped. Although I'm actually talking about how you felt about Vinny pushing you away, and refusing your help, Maurice, not how you reacted physically."
"Frustrated," Bosco unfolding his arms, suddenly talkative sat forward, "all I want to do is help him, and he just tells me no, to stop and go home, like I can just," clenching his fingers together, "Doc, I don't want to just leave it, I can't. I, I have to..."
"Fix this," Dr. Douglas seeing his hesitation, "which you can't do, and that as we already know, makes you even more determined to wrestle this into submission."
"Yea," Bosco flopped back again, a huff of exasperation breaking out, "exactly."
"Exactly," Dr. Douglas scowled across at him, "what you can't do. Not with this, not if you want to get past it. You have not, even since our first session had a difficult time putting the truth to what happened to you or between you Maurice. A very rare thing for a rape victim," seeing Bosco's quick look of surprise, he nodded, "I can only surmise it is because of the extended period of time you were together after the initial event, and the as you yourself admitted to, drugging. You claim to have actually chosen some of what you went through, and I do think you believe that, though I doubt seriously if anyone had been witnessing it, they would have the same opinion. We've discussed the mind and spirits need to adapt to survive, even if that means throwing out everything you normally would feel or do, and becoming what you have to become to survive intact. I see this as a continuation of that."
"How?" Bosco's voice dripped with denial, "Because I want to help someone?"
"No," Dr. Douglas replied, leaning towards him, "because you refuse to be a victim, you refuse to feel the pain of what happened to you, you seem to think that by becoming his 'savior' you avoid that. If you can avoid having to actually see what was done to you, if Vinny's not to blame, if this other man is wholly at fault, then what Vinny did to you, isn't really wrong and it can't be that bad if he 'didn't mean it', and you 'avoid' having someone you cared about and trusted with your life, your friend be your kidnapper and rapist, because if he's not at fault, it didn't really count, and you can go on pretending that you love him, and he loved you, and well, quite honestly avoid any repercussions prosecuting him might bring. Public knowledge of what happened," he could see the agitation starting, Bosco's knee was starting a slow but steady bounce, but had decided now was the time, "possibly having a very public trial happen. Most if not all of the Officers you work with find out that you were with a man, even if it were against your will, even finding out that you took drugs with your knowledge and what a Defense Attorney would say full agreement, and participated in the sexual acts even after you stopped taking the drugs, perhaps even as you first tried to say, knew what was going to happen from the start, and..."
"ENOUGH!" Bosco jumping to his feet was shaking as he stared at him, furious, tears streaming down his face, "SHUT THE HELL UP!"
Dr. Douglas sat relaxed still, but continued, "went to that restaurant anyway." Gazing kindly up at him as Bosco stood clenching his fists over and over, "Maurice, do you really believe that? Or do you just want to believe that, so that you don't have to admit to yourself or anyone else that you can't always see what's coming at you? That you can't always defend or protect yourself if someone really wants to get to or hurt you?"
"You think that's it?" Bosco cried out, "You think I don't already know that I can't stop them?" A bitter laugh rushing from him like the words that spilled next, "Like all the other bastards in my life I couldn't stop? Are you kidding me, Doc, I've never been able to stop them from kicking my ass, not my fucking Dad, or those sons of bitches at school, always picking on kids that couldn't defend themselves, so I HAD TO? ONLY TO COME HOME AND GET MY ASS KICKED FOR DOING WHAT NEEDED TO BE DONE!" Stalking off away from the couch he turned back, words still pouring out, "Then those shits my Mother thought were so great to have around after she kicked my ole man out? Hell, what's one more black eye right? You know why I joined the damn Army, why I became a Ranger, so I could stop them, if I was a Ranger no one would ever try to kick my ass again when I got out, and you know what, it helped, for a while." Tears still flowing as Dr. Douglas silently let him vent all his pain and rage, "Until I came home, to the same shit, just a different guy, only this time, I left, told my Mom I wasn't taking it anymore, if she wanted to fine, but I couldn't stand between her and whatever guy wanted to pound her. So, I went into the Police Academy, hell no one messes with the NYPD right? Skells run, and if they don't you kick their ass first, might take a few hits, but with 10,000 brothers to back you up, you can deal. Only when I needed," stumbling now in his words, a look of dawning realization on his face, he sat down hard on the couch as Dr. Douglas watched him carefully, almost unaware now of the Drs. presence, "I trusted him," head in his hands, Bosco began to sob, "I trusted HIM," almost a scream now, "that SON OF A BITCH, I TRUSTED HIM, OH GOD, I couldn't stop him," rocking back and forth, "you have any idea what its like to be held down, have someone force themselves...oh oh fuck, over and over and over, his hands," his own hands tearing at his sleeves, pulling as if to remove the memories, "mouth, he fucking bit me, I begged him, I begged him to stop, why didn't he STOP, WHY, WHY ANSWER ME WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP, VINNY!!!"
Dr. Douglas stood up, slowly rounding the coffeetable that sat between them, squatting down near him, but careful not to crowd or touch him, "Maurice, its okay son, you're okay."
Violently shaking his head, he sobbed, "No, no its never going to be okay, I let him, I asked for..." clapping his hand over his mouth, his anguished expression going blank, "I'm going to be sick..." Rushing to his feet, he darted around the table heading for the small bathroom off to the back of the office, Dr. Douglas rising to his feet only following to make sure he was not going to pass out, stood outside the door.
XXXXXXXXX
"I can't help him, can I," Bosco sat quietly on the couch, hands pressing into the cushion, facing Dr. Douglas, the expression in his sad eyes showing his acceptance finally of what had happened, facing the reality of the situation.
"No," Dr. Douglas held his glasses in his hand, "no more than you already have, Maurice. Now, its time to help yourself, and that means no more contact with him. Not unless its through a lawyer, or your Lt. Swersky, Vincent is getting help, you know, there are several people who are tying to intercede on his behalf, you just can't be one of them. I know the Psychologist who is working with him, and he is a very good Dr., Vincent isn't indigent by any stretch of the imagination, so I wouldn't worry about that if I were you. Also, he's being kept away from the rest of the prison population for his safety, Dr. Timbler is working on having him moved to a private hospital, hopefully that will happen now that you have gone to Agent Hampton, and the more serious charges look as though they will be dropped. I can't tell you more, you don't need to be more involved, but I think its fair to let you know this much, if only to make you stop running around crashing into walls for no reason."
"Crashing into walls," a light snort from Bosco as he rubbed the back of his neck, "feels like that's all I did this week," a grateful smile washing over his face, "thanks for telling me Doc, guess I should have come here first?"
"What, and you'd have believed me?" Dr. Douglas placed his glasses on the desk, "Now, that would be a first, wouldn't it? I've always said, you have to be the most stubborn and contradictory patient I've dealt with, it's not that you don't immediately face things once you see them for yourself, but things would be a lot easier Maurice if you trusted anyone besides yourself, and your own eyes, without having to be hit in the head with what is wrong with a situation or person, before things go sour. Although at the same time the 'contradicting yourself' comes into play by your insistence at taking everyone and everything on first sight at face value, no matter what anyone else says, like I said before, complicated and stubborn as a mule."
"How," Bosco grumbled, "give me a 'for instance," knowing full well there were several real life instances he himself could use if he were truly honest with himself.
"Okay, take for instance, if Ellen walked in here and said the sky had just turned, lets say...Green...I would say, "no way, not possible, prove it," you on the other hand would say, "Really? Wow," and go look," Bosco blushed as Dr. Douglas chuckled, "not a bad thing, just sometimes I wish you'd say, "no way, not possible, prove it!" instead, just take a little closer look at things before you jumped in feet first, including the people around you, its great to be trusting, but sometimes you really need to step back and ask yourself if this person is worth trusting, before you get burned. Myself, I never know what will be something you take at face value, or what will be something you refuse to believe is true no matter how many people tell you its so, your sense of discernment leaves a lot to be desired sometimes."
"You sound like my Mom and Faith," Bosco looking sheepish, smirked at him, "Faith was always jumping on me for not listening to her, then going off and taking someone else's word about the same advice. Mom just rolls her eyes and gives me one of those 'looks' like she wonders if I have any sense at all."
Dr. Douglas kept his thoughts on that one to himself, nodding as if in thought before he continued, he suddenly had to take a moment to clean his glasses, so he could speak without showing he wanted to laugh.
"I would suggest you get into group counseling," seeing the smirk Bosco was wearing, as if he knew why Dr. Douglas had to pause, turn to a look of fear and denial, he quickly added as he held his free hand up, "wait. I said I 'would' suggest it, perhaps in the near future, but honestly I don't think in your case it would help. I doubt there are very many people who have been what you have been through, your situation is almost unique. Besides," giving him a slow grin, "I've seen how group counseling 'works' for you, you're more the tough love and get it done type, so, I'm going to recommend you keep coming here, there was one wall you crashed into this week that you knocked down you know," sharing a knowing look, "not all your time crashing around has been in vain, you made a real breakthrough today," as Bosco nodded, glancing away, he added, "and that you talk to Lt. Swersky about getting back to work as soon as is reasonably possible, you need to keep busy, too much empty time is only going to slow things for you, not help them. I'll see what I can do about the suspension thing with him, perhaps the time already missed can be counted in that, we'll work on it together. I also want you to talk to someone else," at Bosco's puzzled look he elaborated, "another man, about what happened, someone of your choosing, it can be a friend, or a Co-worker you believe you can trust, or even, perhaps your brother? Whomever you do tell, you have to be honest, and while it will be difficult, you have to try to trust another man besides me again, and you have to allow yourself to face the fear that brings and overcome it, its the only way you will truly get past this, besides Maurice, you can't spend the rest of your life, or your career avoiding male relationships. You had and do have friends, you just need to reach out to them, and by that I mean someone besides your Mother and Partner, Faith Yokas."
"I don't think I can do that," Bosco swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry, "tell someone else? No way, Doc, besides," looking away, "they already know, right? Enough people were in that cabin to keep the gossip mill going for years, including people I work with. I'll talk to Swersky about going back to work, but that's all, besides coming to see you that is."
"Well," Dr. Douglas sat back, "I can't force you, but you should strongly consider talking to someone, build back some of your confidence, its not only your Co-workers you have to show that you can handle yourself again, its also yourself, talking to a friend, confiding and trusting him is a first step in that. Think about it before you dismiss it out of hand, okay? Some time at the range, and maybe a refresher course in self defense could assist in that also, and that could be done privately, you have expressed some concern about your ability to react in dangerous situations, I think you need to see you can protect yourself, as well as back up a partner."
"Sure," Bosco was listening, but doubted he could do all of what Dr. Douglas was asking of him, "I'll think about it Doc, and Faith suggested the refresher course thing too, as soon as I get an all clear from Dr. Thomas I'll do that, so, anything else?"
"Yes," Dr. Douglas stood up, a smile on his face, "you can get the heck out of here, your time was up 30 minutes ago, I have other patients besides you, you know." The teasing tone in his voice bringing an answering grin to Bosco's face, though it was not as bright as Dr. Douglas hoped it would soon be, walking to the door with him, "I'll see you in a few days, talk to Ellen and make sure she has you scheduled, meanwhile I'll call Dave and discuss your return to the streets. This won't be easy, Maurice, but I know you can do it." A light pat on his back as Bosco passed him, "And please consider all of what I told you? If only to humor an old man."
"Old," Bosco glanced up at him, "yea well, you are kind of getting up there," giving a laugh, knowing Dr. Douglas was only in his late forties he grinned again, "and yea, I'll think about it, Doc, but I wouldn't hold my breath if I was you."
"With you?" Dr. Douglas chuckled as he watched him walk to his Secretary Ellen's desk, "Never, I never learned to hold my breath That long Maurice."
XXXXXXXXXX
"Sorry I'm late Mom," Bosco walking into the front hallway greeted Rose apologetically, "got held up at work." Pulling his gloves from his hands, he started removing his coat, which she took as she returned his greeting.
"That's ok, sweetheart," giving him a loving smile, "you're not late, dinners not even ready yet," turning back to him after hanging up his coat, "look at you." Stroking his face gently, "you look like you've been getting some sleep again."
"Yea," grinning down at her, "I have, I feel good," kissing her, "how've you been, ummm, something smells good." Rubbing his palms together, "I'm starved."
"Good," she took his hands in hers a moment rubbing them to warm them, "I made lasagna, in fact, I need to get it out of the oven, come on."
Following her, he noticed the good china on the dining room table, along with placemats and three instead of two settings, Rose only used this set when company came or for special family dinners, never for just the two of them having dinner which usually was at the kitchen table anyway, not this one.
Stopping in immediate suspicion, "Mom, why is the table set? Who's coming..."
Rose turned to him, "What? I can't just want to have a nice meal instead of..."
"Hey Bro," Mikey walking out of the kitchen into the room with them, "how you doing?" Rose saw the stubborn set of her eldest son's face, but before she could stop him, he'd turned and hauled ass from the room.
"Damn it," she frowned, "Michael, stay put, I'll get him." Nearly running after Maurice, "Stop, Maurice please, don't go."
"Mom," he complained, "I..." Grabbing his coat he began to put it on, but she stopped him, making him look at her, Bosco looking at the ceiling instead, "Mom..."
"Maurice, your brothers trying, he just wants a nice family dinner, is that too much to ask?" Pulling his coat from him, "Now, you are Staying, and that's that! Want a beer or soda?" Hanging his coat up, she tugged at him, towing him behind her back into the dining room, "Michael, get your brother a beer, since he doesn't seem to know what he wants right now."
"Ma," Mikey gave a nervous laugh, "if Moe doesn't want me to be here, I can just go upstairs."
"No you will not," Rose exclaimed, "this is ridiculous, its time you two spoke again, Maurice, sit, Michael, sit, I'll get the beer myself," shoving Bosco towards a chair, "I mean it, sit, now Maurice."
Snatching the chair, Bosco sat with a 'humph', as Mikey took a chair opposite him, Bosco glaring at him hard as Mikey tried to smile, "So, bro, I'm glad to see you're okay," Bosco refused to answer him, only staring at him, anger on his face, Mikey went into the usual thing they did with each other from when they were teens, "Me, you ask, how I'm doing," Mikey played nervously with his beer bottle, "gee, thanks for asking, I'm doing good. Got out a few days ago, Mom asked me to stay here for awhile, but I have another place lined up, so I should be out of here in a week or so. "
Bosco rolled his eyes, "How'd you get out early Michael," one hand and elbow on the table he picked up a butter knife and held it up before him, pretending to study the pattern on the handle, "your lawyer pay someone off or what?" Staring at him again over the knifes back edge, he gave a mean smile.
"No," Rose interrupted, taking the knife away from him, knowing his game, as she handed him the beer, "Michael got out on good behavior," giving him a slight whap to the back of his head, "something you should be proud of, so stop giving your brother a hard time Maurice, he paid his debt. Its over, do you understand me?" Bosco looked up at her, about to make a rude comment, but decided to hold his tongue at the stern look on her face, nodding instead as he glanced back at Mikey, face turning red as Mikey gave him the 'mom likes me best' look.
"Michael," Rose sighed, "don't bait your brother, I don't want my good china getting broken, lord knows between you two I have little enough of it left as it is."
"Hey," Bosco defending himself, "I only broke a couple of pieces, butterfingers over there broke the rest." A half smile crossing his face despite his bad mood.
"ME?" Mikey grinned at him, then giving a smile to Rose, "Ma, did I tell you what happened to that large bowl you liked so much?"
"Hey, Mike," Bosco growled, "remember that candlestick thing you 'found' broken?"
"ENOUGH!" Rose laughed, "Damn, you too are like pitbulls sometimes, yes Michael I know who broke my bowl, and Maurice, did you really think I thought he just Found it broken, I swear, sometimes I think you two are never going to grow up!" As they gaped at her, she stood one hand on her hip, "Now, who's going to help carry the food in here, and NOT break anything?"
Both men stood instantly, "I'll help," the same response coming from them as she nodded, "Much better, Maurice, you carry in the lasagna, Michael you get the salad and bread," as they went into the kitchen, she stayed behind to pour the wine, and light the candles, "and try NOT to drop anything this time!"
"Yea, Michael," Bosco pretended grump as Mikey elbowed him playfully.
"Sure you can handle the hot stuff?" Mikey smirked as he picked up the salad bowl and turned to snatch the bread.
"Better than you....SHIT!" Bosco yelled as he and Mikey collided when Mikey turned back to head to the dining room, the potholders slipping he watched in horror as the entire glass lasagna pan flew out of his grip to smash on the floor, hot pasta and sauce splashing everywhere, right as the salad joined it, the crystal bowl shattering to bits.
Rose in the dining room lowered her head, "Why me?" as she heard a concert of "Um, MOM? Mikey/Maurice dropped the..."
Two sheepish faces stood in the doorway grinning at her as she turned to the kitchen, another chorus from them ringing out, "Sorry?"
"Say," Rose trying not to have a cow, gave a fake smile, "How about Chinese," her smile turning to a deep frown as her voice deepened, "which you'll get as soon as you clean up that MESS!"
"Chinese sounds good," Bosco replied backing into the kitchen rapidly, "how about you Mike?"
"Yea," Mikey following him quickly, "sounds fine to me, just let us take care of this Ma, you just sit and have a glass of wine, ok?"
"Uh, huh," sighing, Rose sat after snatching up the phone book and the phone, but smiled to herself as she heard the now less strained banter as they were both in the same boat, trying to figure out a way to keep her from throwing them out before they got to eat, while they cleaned up the kitchen floor, cabinets and wall.
XXXXXXXXXXX
"So, you think you're ready to be back, full time?" Swersky stood watching as Bosco pulled on his shoes, a few weeks after the dinner at Roses, "I'm hearing some positive things from Dr. Douglas, but I'm not sure about putting you back on the streets just yet."
The locker room was clear for the moment, and Bosco glanced up from lacing his shoe, "Well, I still have to do the refresher course, but yea Boss, I feel good, I just want to get back to normal, you know? Get off the desk."
"Sounds good," Swersky still didn't like the idea of Vetresco going free, but since it was out of his hands, and since Vetresco had resigned, he felt he could work this better now, "I've talked to the Captain, and he has no problem with it as long as you pass the physical and the self defense class. I'm surprised you feel you need that Bosco, I've never known you to have any problems out on the street, or backing up a partner, but since you and Dr. Douglas seem to think it would help transition you back to full status, okay, hell, maybe I should run everyone through with you," giving a smirk to him, as Bosco laughed, "would be interesting to see what Sullivan's still got, right?"
"That I'd pay money to see Boss," Bosco chuckling replied, "but if you don't mind, I'm going to go with the private class." Not elaborating on why, he went back to his shoes.
Dave gave a shrug, "Up to you, anyway, I'm glad you're coming back. Haven't had anyone's ass to chew in months," winking at him, he left the locker room.
Dropping his head, Bosco grinned as he finished his shoe, "Now that's something I could do without," just as Ty walked into the room.
"What's something you could do without," he nodded to him as he walked up to his locker, pulling it open he reached in to check his spare uniform shirt, then began removing the one he was wearing.
"Swersky chewing my ass," Bosco grinned over at him a moment, before giving his shoelace a final tug and sitting up straight.
"Damn Bosco," Ty pulled his shirt off, tossing it down in the bottom of his locker, "hasn't the man gone long enough without, give him some slack, you've been so on your best behavior since you got back he's going through withdrawals."
"Now that's funny," Bosco stood up, lifting his gunbelt down, to begin putting it on, "you should give Sul some of your material." glancing sideways at him, grimacing, "What happened to you, fall in a puddle or something," he asked as he spotted a streak of mud on the side of Ty's face, further streaking down his neck.
"I wish," Ty wiped at the spot, "been less painful, no, some crazy broad got mad at Sully, and like an idiot I stepped between him and the large handfuls of pottery clay she decided to throw."
"Figures," Bosco leaned against his locker, studying Ty a moment before asking quietly, "um, you busy tomorrow around noon?"
"Um, don't think so," Ty glanced over at him, "why?"
After the initial 'thanks' Bosco had offered to he and Sully things had very slowly gotten back to normal in the locker room, but Bosco had kept his distance from them all until now, light banter, but no actual conversations that didn't involve the job.
"Well," glancing down at his shoes before giving a half shrug, "I'm doing a self defense refresher thing, just to prove to Lieu I can handle myself after being off so long," his half lie shielding him, "you know how it is," at Ty's nod, "anyway, I really didn't want to be in with the rookies and shit, so I got the instructor to do some private classes."
"And," Ty had a feeling he knew what was coming, but was going to play dumb, to make him ask.
"I was wondering if you would be," Bosco began to fiddle with his cuff, "um, my partner? If you don't want to do it, that's ok, I can just get the instructor to ask someone, its no big deal, really..."
"Bosco," Ty laughed, "stop, I'll do it, what time do I have to be there, noon or is that when you're taking me to lunch."
"You will?" Bosco grinned, then frowned, "Lunch?"
"Yea," Ty closed his locker with a bang, "I will, and you didn't have to look so pitiful asking, geesh, we're friends, sure I'll be glad to help, besides, the faster you get back on the streets, the faster I get to see Lieu's face get that," passing his hand over his face playfully, "funny purplish-red shade that only you can make happen!"
Bosco was laughing as Ty added, "And Lunch, is because you owe me for agreeing to get all sweaty and having my ass thrown to the floor, not something I do for fun, and I expect a real restaurant, not that place you and Faith eat," giving a fake shiver, "gives new meaning to 'greasy spoon'."
"Owe you," Bosco following him out the door complained, "you said you'd do it because we're friends. How can I owe you?"
"Hey friends can owe one another," Ty rounded the corner running down the stairs, called back, "besides, you got to eat right?"
"But," Bosco stood at the top of the stairs as Ty headed across the lobby to the outside doors, snapping out, "okay, but BE READY! AND ITS NOT GOOD TO EAT BEFORE...", watching him wave back and disappear, "damn." Turning to go to the office he'd been working out of, he found himself nervous about the next day, but grinning at the same time.
XXXXXXXXXX
"How have things been going at work Maurice," Dr. Douglas sat in the bleachers that lined the gym area where Ty would meet up with them in a short while, "still ok?"
"Yep," he rubbed his hands nervously over his sweatpants covered knees, "you know I thought I'd get a lot of shit when I went back, but Faith," glancing sideways at him a serious look on his face, "and you, were right. I got a few looks, but nothing major, hell not even any ugly comments about being gone, or why, and the few I did get, I just did like I always do," a sheepish smirk slipping into place, "flipped um off, or told um to bite me and stared them down."
"And," Dr. Douglas chuckled, "did your rather creative way of handling it work?" Pulling on his ballcap to settle it to his head better he spotted a tall light-skinned black man approaching.
"Always does," Bosco replied distractedly as he stood up, a nervous but genuine smile on his face now, "Hey, you made it, thanks."
"You," Ty pointed at him in mock anger, "still owe me for lunch, don't think I won't collect," but then grinned as he shook Bosco's hand.
"Sorry," Bosco replied, "but I can't eat before this stuff, I promise we'll get something later, okay?"
"Oh I know we will," Ty winked at the tall man standing behind Bosco, "hi, don't think I've seen you around, you're the new instructor? Names Davis, Ty Davis."
"No," Bosco instantly turning, "sorry, no, he's my, um..."
Hand extended, Dr. Douglas stepped forward, "Pete Douglas, nice to meet you Ty, but I'm afraid this isn't my thing, I'm Maurice's shrink, just here for some moral support."
Ty blinked at him as Bosco turned red, "Oh, ookay, sure," recovering quickly he gave a wicked look to Bosco, teasingly commenting, "probably a good idea, he's going to need some moral support when I whoop his butt out there."
"Yea you wish," Bosco scowled at him, the awkward moment passing quickly, "I got ten says you go down first."
"I'll take that bet," Ty shook hands with him, as Dr. Douglas watched the easy interaction between them, a slow smile growing over his face.
"I don't know," he interjected, "I might have to put some on this, I've seen him put some serious hurt on a bowl of jelly beans, give me five on that."
Ty cracked up laughing as Bosco exclaimed, "FIVE? Only FIVE? Damn Doc have some faith here will you, go for match at least!"
"Hey," a loud masculine voice called from across the gym, "you here to take my class or you just gonna stand around playing with yourselves?"
TBC...