Disclaimer : I still do not own Harry Potter and the other characters.
A/N : Here we are, the second chapter. I'm sorry it took so long, I had some evil exams the last weeks that prevented me from writing much. (and I have tried to work on my novel as much as possible. I think I'll be able to finish it before the end of term )
2. Vision and Dumbledore
Sometimes I dream. Tonight I won't, if the Dreamless Sleep Potion I eye suspiciously is potent enough. Remus gently tells me to drink, that I need to sleep and that everything will get better. I refrain my urge to laugh bitterly or screamlike a madman and calmly answer that he can stop treating me like a child and that the only way for me to feel better would be to die. By the time I finally drink, he looks like crying. The Hospital Wing slowly disappear as I wish I could see you.
... Darkness. Then a room with little light and too many shadows. I know this place. I've been there before, in my dreams, at the beginning of my captivity and when he killed you. Voldemort's lair. Which means I'm in the snake bastard's head once again. Great. That's just bloody great. I just escaped from his dungeon and I'm back in his head. Speak of a nighmare.
I have no control about the situation and I don't like that. Well, let's just enjoy the ride. I'm currently speaking. No, Voldemort is. It doesn't really matter, right now it's the same.
There's a Deatheater on the floor. He doesn't look too well. I understand him. Nobody wants to be prey to the Dark Lord's fury. I listen... hum. It seems he's angry because of my escape.
The other one tries to explain but his Master is not listening. He doesn't care that the portkey didn't take us to the usual place. Nor does he care about the Order ambush.
All he sees is the fact that this was a simple mission and that his servant has failed. Punishment follows quickly. The Cruciatus, cast many times.
The Deatheater screams, and I guess I must be screaming as well in my bed. I usually am. Suddenly it stops. No killing tonight. The servant is dismissed and Voldemort starts speaking again. Parseltongue. To me. He knows I'm here. Uh oh ...
I wake up, screaming and clutching my bleeding scar.
"Harry !" screams Remus. Of course he hasn't left me while I slept. I slowly calm down, taking large breaths, looking at my bloody hands. Red on pale skin. Not as white as yours were when you died.
"Harry ?" The tone is gentle, concerned. I look up into the eyes of Dumbledore. He looks older than the last time I saw him. Well of course, now he is losing the war.
His war, not mine. I'm so tired of living. And I am less likely to die here than I was in my cell.
The Headmaster inquires about my dream, but I remain silent. I don't want to be here, trapped by those who wants me to keep up with the fight. I have to find a way to escape a second time. Then I'll kill myself, and I'll be with you again. Nothing else matters.
Dumbledore has stopped asking me questions about Voldemort and is now discussing with somebody I do not recognise. The new mediwizard, I guess, since this is the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey is dead. She was captured with me, another one I had to watch being tortured to death.
The unknown wizard gives me a potion to help with my healing. Seems like I have some lasting damages that will take time to diseappear. I drink it, feeling myself becoming numb. I fall back into sleep. Dreamless.
When I awake again, Dumbledore is still here, hope and sadness mixing in his gaze. It is disturbing to see him looking at me with such an expression. He is supposed to be the one I look up to, not the other way around. Damn it, he is said to be the only wizard Volemort is afraid of, why can't he go and kill him himself ? I know I'm not half as powerful as he is, and I certainly know less magic. All because of this stupid prophecy, I get to kill that snake.
The Prophecy. I should have told Voldemort about it, he doesn't know he must kill me. Well, if I can't find a way to die, I'll find a way to make him know.
Dumbledore is oblivious to my thought. He is telling me how glad he is to have me back, alive and safe. I simply stare. I'm not sure he'll understand if I try to explain my death wish. He goes on with that fact, telling me that it'll pass and everything will be alright. Who does he think I am ? Some eleven year old child, afraid and gullible ? I have been tortured for weeks, yes, but I have not lost my sanity yet. I think. Anyway I'm not reduced to a childlike mind, that I am pretty sure of. I glare and he stops lying. Only to come back again at another angle, telling me that even if you're dead, life goes on and someday I'll find someone else. I highly doubt that.
Droping the subject, he wish me to get well soon and say that I'll resume training as soon as possible. Then he leaves, wihtout even asking me my oppinion.
I sigh. This is just another prison, except that people are nice, too concerned for my liking and that I am not chained. But I know the door is locked.
A/N : I hope you liked it. I already have an idea about what will be in the next one, so hopefully it will be out faster.
Thanks for the reviews Tini and Paranoia. I think the title Sometimes I dream must somehow be derived of Tini's I know I'm not sleeping, which is a really good fic that I should review.