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Paths of the Heart

Chapter 4 -Confessions

Disclaimer- NOT MINE NOT MINE, NOT MINE, NOT MINE... Everybody got the point?

She was tired, there were bags under her eyes, and the other kids were beginning to talk. One by the one they drew away from the brooding girl, whispering among themselves, speculating as to what might be wrong. More than once she heard the word "drugs" as she walked by, and still other hinted at other things, some speculating as to what guy had finally managed to trap her.

Chihiro was building a world alone, and was sinking deeper into it. She had not found out until later that she had yelled at her best friend while caught up in one of her nightmares. They haunted her waking hours now, too, growing more and more frequent. At first she had abandoned sleep, praying that that would make them go away. It had not. They called her high, and demon possessed. Her teachers left her alone, her parents had given up. One morning she had not even bothered to go to school, and no one really noticed, or maybe they just didn't care, simply thankful the dark shadow was not there.

Almost no one.

The knock at the door caused them both to jump, and Chihiro father rose slowly, pulled the door open slowly, his every move cautious. Nothing was predictable now, not with Chihiro acting as she was. The young man standing at the door appeared normal enough though, and the older man stood there, waiting for the newcomer to explain himself.

It seemed like minutes before the dazed look disappeared from the young mans eyes and he met the mans gaze. It was still longer before he figured out that he was the one holding things up. "Oh, hi. I'm a friend of Chihiro's from school. I noticed that she wasn't there today, and decided to stop by. Is that all right? Can I come in and see her? Please? My name's Tanner, by the way."

Chihiro's father was so startled that he moved aside, letting in the boy and explaining to his wife. "He says that he's friend from school, and he wants to see Chihiro. What do you think?"

The woman leapt from her seat. "You're a friend of hers? I was afraid that she had managed to chase all of her friends off. Of course, come in. Maybe you can help her." her voice dropped so low that it was almost inaudible. "O spirits, please let something work. Please let something help her. Let this work. Then, "Just down the hall there, the last room on the left, you can't miss it. And it should be unlocked. At least ,she hasn't tried to lock it yet, I don't think."

Nodding his thanks, Tanner walked down the hall and stopped at the door, lifted his hand, and knocked hesitantly. When there was no answer he pushed it open and poked his head in slowly, not wanting to catch her half dressed or in some other embarrassing predicament. A flash of ruby light caught his attention, and as he opened the door the rest of the way to find her seated in a chair at her desk, playing with a scarlet hair tie as she stared blankly out the window.

She did not look up as he approached, and Tanner stood back a moment, allowing himself some time to asses the situation before him. Her clothes were rumpled and dirty, as though she had worn them for several days. She was thin, and pale, and he wondered how long it had been since she had eaten. Probably the most disturbing thing that he noticed, though, was the fact that she was staring into the bright afternoon sun, unflinching and unblinking, as though she were in a trance.

"Chihiro?"

At the sound of his soft question, her head did turn, and looked at him with dead eyes. Then they blinked, once, twice, and her hand came up to rub them weakly. She squinted. "Tanner? Is that you? Shouldn't you be at school? What time is...Four!"

She jumped to her feet then swayed, she was so weak. Not wanting her to fall, the boy reached out a hand and caught her elbow, guiding her back down into the chair gently. "Yah, it's four in the afternoon. You missed school completely. That s why I came by. I was worried about you. What is it, are you sick?"

He stepped back as she burst into tears, burying her face in her hands. "I c-can't believe it. I got up this morning and got dressed, and felt tired, so I sat down in the chair, and, and, I can't remember anything since then. And I missed school and it happened again..."

"What? What happened?" the boy asked, his voice soothing, comforting, and he pulled up a stool and sat with his arm around her, letting her lean on him.

"Dreams..."

He laughed.

"Dreams? You're getting this worked up over dreams? Come on. It's got to be something more than that. Missing school, getting no sleep, not eating, all over some silly dreams?"

Then he found that he had probably just had the poorest taste in words ever in his life. With sudden strength she threw his arm from around her shoulder and jerked around to face him. Her voice trembled with rage as she hissed. "Yes dreams. Only they aren't just dreams anymore. I see them all the time now. They don't stop. I'm just constantly living in some other place that I halfway remember but shouldn't be able to at all!"

Now he was even more confused. "Why should you not be able to remember something that you are remembering? It doesn't make any sense."

She collapsed back onto the chair, burying her head in her hands and crying uncontrollably. "I shouldn't be able to remember it because it never happened. It never could have happened. It was all just a dream, a game from a long time ago..." anything else that she might have said was lost in her sobs.

Tanner was still unsure of how he should go about handling the now hysterical female in front of him, especially since it looked as though his instincts weren't looking out for him all that well right now. Still, he couldn't just sit there and do nothing. Taking a gamble, he leaned forward and put his arms around her loosely. For a second, she resisted, then fell forward, willing to take whatever comfort she could find at the moment.

"What is it? What is bothering you so much that you're doing this, "he paused, placing a special emphasis on the word that gabbed her attention, "to yourself?"

Time passed in a blur as the words spilled from her mouth, as she confessed all of her fears and troubles to him. He listened, never once interrupted, only offering his completely undivided attention. When she looked up from the floor where she had been staring the whole time, expecting to find him annoyed, or at least laughing silently to himself at her foolishness. Instead he was quite, contemplative, reflecting in what she had told him. When he finally faced her again, he appeared more curious than anything.

"Granted I'm no psychiatrist, but to sound to me like you're letting your fear of drowning take over and scare you some how, and its drawing on other memories in the process."

She stared at him, wide-eyed. "So you think that this is all some nightmare about myself drowning again? How would that explain my parents getting turned into pigs? I don't see a connection there."

He shrugged. "That I have no explanation for. Like I said, I'm no doctor or anything, Listen. Why don't you come down to the river tomorrow afternoon? Stay home, say you're sick ,and come and meet me after school. In the park, by the benches. We'll see if all this is just a fear of water or something. If it is, we can work through it and get you started towards feeling better. Agreed?"

Chihiro manage a mute nod of confirmation, and even a weak smile as he waved and walked out her door. After a moment she turned to her mirror, and settled her dirty hair on place as best as she could. Taking a deep breath, she steeled herself and walked out into the kitchen , much to the amazed stares of her parents. For the first time in days she ate, and that night, for the first time in a week, she was actually able to sleep.

Sorry that's taken me so long to get this chapter up. I sort of lost it. Anyway, the usual- R&R and I'll try to not wait so long to get the next chapter up!