Touda had had no control over his side of the bond when he had told Byakko his story. He had projected unconsciously and Tsuzuki had simply sat and listened, horrified, pained and so incredibly saddened.
Like Byakko he knew now. The whole thing. The truth. No one else did.
But someone else had to.
Tsuzuki reached out along the bond and touched the inky blackness that was Touda's presence. The shikigami flinched, unaware of his open broadcasting.
Tsuzuki…
Shhh, he whispered, curling up next to him, holding him close.
Touda let him, his condition less than stable. He was actually trembling.
I apologize Touda murmured.
No, it's okay
No more words were spoken as shinigami and shikigami took strength from each other's presence, as Tsuzuki caressed and stroked over the stricken soul he was entrusted with.
######################
The news had hit Byakko like a fist in the stomach. He was looking at his lover, dumbstruck, unable to say something. Touda's eyes were hidden behind that cursed visor, but from the set of his mouth and the way he held himself, he wasn't happy either.
"I don't remember Keijin," Byakko finally said, breaking the silence.
"You were just a child," the fire serpent murmured, lost in his dark thoughts, his memories.
Byakko knelt next to him, trying to catch the visored eyes, and finally reached for the other man.
"Touda? Thank you for telling me."
The fire shikigami looked at him, the pain of the memories still visible. Byakko edged closer until he was right next to him, then wrapped a cautious arm around him. When Touda didn't resist or pull away, he held him close.
"Why did you never tell anyone?" he asked after a while.
"Why should I? It doesn't change the past. It doesn't resurrect the dead."
Byakko sighed. "No, it doesn't, but it could ease some minds."
A wry chuckle. "Like Sohryu's?"
"Yes."
"It won't change anything, Byakko. Leave him his hatred of me."
"Touda…!"
The other man pushed away, looking into the red eyes. "Byakko, it won't change his mind. Sohryu hates me for killing his family, and rightly so. I got Keijin killed. I swore to protect him and I failed. He is dead, so is his wife. She died in my fires."
"So did my father!" Byakko argued. "And I don't hate you. I want the others to know the reason! No one knows, Touda. No one!"
"Leave it."
"But…"
"Just leave it. It's easier."
Byakko inhaled deeply, angry, disappointed and feeling cheated for no other reason that he now knew and Touda wouldn't let anyone else know.
"I love you," he murmured. "I don't want this hatred to continue…"
"You can't change what has been fact for five hundred years." Touda caressed him gently. "Let me guess… Sohryu would love nothing more than to see me leave?"
Byakko growled softly. "I don't care what he wants. I chose you and I stand by you. I love you, Touda, with your past and everything. I won't let the others destroy what makes me happy!"
Touda looked at him like thunderstruck.
"What?" Byakko asked.
"You're an amazing man, Byakko," Touda whispered, caressing his face.
Byakko gave him a cheeky smile and kissed him. "I know. And you got me."
"Yes, I got you." The serpent's voice was quiet and he pulled him closer.
Both men lay together, Byakko enjoying the presence of his lover.
#####################
Tsuzuki monitored the developments in GensouKai with rising worry. Ever since the revelation as to what had happened in the past, what had launched the blood rage, the outbreak of destruction. He knew a lot about Touda, he knew what the fire serpent was like most of the time, but the deepest, darkest secrets had never been revealed. Lately, since the bond, things had trickled through from both sides. Tsuzuki was infinitely glad that Touda accepted him as he was, accepted the raw power inside him and countered it, and he did the same with his shikigami. He loved the black serpent, he would never give him up for anything, had fought the council for his release, his life…
The shinigami smiled a little. Yes, he loved his shikigami. All of them. He would defend them, protect them… do all they did on a daily basis for him.
Now he knew a little more about Touda and it hurt him so much to have his friend suffer from the memories. He had loved, he had lived, he had been happy, and the war had taken that from him. It had taken a life that had been the trigger for thousands of deaths, for animosity, for hatred, for despair. One life; Keijin. Sohryu's son.
Touda had loved Sohryu's son.
Touda loved Byakko.
And things were not good because of it. Sohryu was making Touda's life harder and harder; not because of what he did or said, but because of the lack thereof. Ever since Byakko had openly stood by his love to the fire serpent, the dragon had started to behave… oddly.
Tsuzuki caught the reflections of it all through the bond, caught Touda's pain that was so deeply underneath the proud and sometimes a bit arrogant shell. He was aware of how much his friend was trying and still failing, and he knew that despite the fact that there was a softer emotion Touda felt for Byakko, Touda would give him up should their continued relationship hurt the white tiger in the future.
It was that thought that finally mobilized Tsuzuki. He didn't want either of his shikigami to be unhappy, but he knew that whatever happened, one would hurt, one would suffer. He couldn't prioritize any of them either, but Touda was closest to his soul, was part of his soul. Byakko was his best friend. Sohryu… Sohryu was someone he deeply respected, loved with the same intensity he did all his guardian spirits, and he would hate to see him hurt in any way. All three were connected in a way that would transfer that pain wherever it started and Tsuzuki knew that it had to start somewhere.
Now.
And he would be the one to kick lose an avalanche of immense proportions.
I have to do it, he thought. I have to do something before it falls apart, before someone gets hurt for real, before either of them does something irreversible.
###########################
Sohryu hadn't felt well lately. The Touda-Byakko affair was giving him sleepless nights, even migraines, and it was slowly eating away at his control. Why Touda, Byakko? he asked silently over and over again. Why him? Why not anyone else? Why the traitor?
The headaches had been his constant companion and they were getting worse. Every time he saw Byakko, he thought of Touda, of the relationship the Protector of the West had with the fire serpent. With a mass murderer. It increased the hammering and pressure behind his eyes, and it made him even more irritable.
Things had changed in GensouKai. From the day Tsuzuki had entered their lives, things had begun to change, and they had taken a leap with the Touda's acceptance. Why Tsuzuki had insisted on giving the criminal a chance was anyone's guess; Sohryu had never gotten a straight answer out of him. And then there was the bond, like a final affront. Though, in the new light of the fact that Byakko and Touda were lovers, that paled considerably.
How could the other God choose such a person as Touda?
Sohryu sighed. Did love really make one blind? In Byakko's case that was a definite yes.
There was a little shiver running through him and he felt something tickle his senses.
Tsuzuki. He had arrived in GensouKai. Sohryu, like all of Tsuzuki's shikigami, was highly receptive to their master's presence, something that was unheard of from other pairings. They all knew Tsuzuki was special, was different, and Sohryu had slowly found out more about their master than he would ever have dared to dream of. Yes, he was different. Very much so.
He had them all, all twelve Divine Commanders, and he had an innate power that made his own look pale in comparison. Sohryu had felt it once before, had touched the surface, and shied away. It had nearly torn him apart.
Now Touda was balancing that power, was the one who gave Tsuzuki access
and control. The one they all feared was closest to their master.
Rising from his chair. Sohryu sighed softly, as he felt Tsuzuki approach.
The doors opened.
The last person he had wanted to see now was him. Dressed in his usual black suit, tie askew, hair tousled, looking younger than his twenty-six years, the shinigami had walked into his palace, past the servants and guards who wouldn't dream of stopping him, and into his private quarters.
Sohryu sighed.
He had spent a lot of time here lately. All his office work was done from inside the most inner sacred walls and none of his assistants or servants would dare to ask why their lord no longer graced them with their presence.
Tsuzuki hadn't come alone, Sohryu noticed with faint desperation. Byakko had accompanied him and the young God looked both resolute and furious. Looking at Byakko, Sohryu saw a lot of the tiger's father in him, but also more. Byakko wasn't his father. He had also never known him.
"Tsuzuki," he greeted the new arrival, then nodded at Byakko.
Violet eyes met blue ones and Tsuzuki's features showed his determination to see whatever he had come here through. Sohryu had a good guess what it was.
"You know Touda cannot lie to me," the shinigami said softly instead of a greeting.
Sohryu nodded. "He wouldn't dare."
"Not just that. He just wouldn't. Touda has never lied, Sohryu. Never in all his life. He is honest about his feelings, about his motivation, about his loyalty. You just have to ask."
The dragon scowled.
"But you never did. You never asked about his reasons for the utter destruction, for the apparently senseless deaths. You just put him down and locked him away."
There was no accusation in Tsuzuki's voice. He was rather matter-of-fact.
"I respected his privacy and I never wanted to know either. Maybe I should have asked," the young man went on. "It would have prevented a lot of pain. I never knew about Keijin."
Sohryu flinched like struck. Tsuzuki knew about his son?
"I asked him, Sohryu. Something you should have done. He was your First General, you were the one in charge of the whole army. You entrusted him your son and Keijin was killed. You never asked how and why. You never asked for a reason."
"Touda killed him!" he hissed. "It's all I needed to know."
Byakko's tail was twice its size, all hairs standing on end, and a soft, warning rumble escaped his throat.
"You asshole!" the tiger snarled. "You prejudiced little…"
Tsuzuki squeezed his wrist and calmed him with a soft, 'Byakko'. Agitated, the tiger swished his tail, apparently close to attacking the other God.
"You never asked and I think it's time to do so, Sohryu," Tsuzuki told him. "I know the whole sordid tale, I know the pain and the desperation and the soul-deep anguish. It describes your emotions as well. You two went through the same agony over the loss of a loved one. But only one of you lost his sanity and destroyed whoever stood in his way."
Loved one… Sohryu's breath caught in his throat. Loved… one…
"Touda doesn't lie," Tsuzuki repeated. "Talk to him, Sohryu. It's not too late."
With that he turned, pulling a reluctant and still pissed off tiger with him.
Sohryu watched the doors close, his mind echoing the same phrase over and over again.
Loved one.