Author's Notes: A tag for "The Menace"-Season 5. Spoilers for "The Menace" and "Shades of Gray".
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show, yadda, yadda, yadda.
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The sweep was done and now the repair crews were busy putting the humpty dumpty SGC back together again.
Colonel Jack O'Neill made his way down the hall toward the infirmary. His eyes squinted in concentration, determination defining the lines of the aging graceful face. It had been one crappy day and he had a headache pounding mercifully at the back of his skull. But he had to do this. He could not let it lie.
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"I'll leave you to change into these scrubs if you're sure you can manage?" Dr. Janet Fraiser asked as she peered over the medical chart.
Dr. Daniel Jackson lay on the examining table, his freshly plastered cast wrist resting on his stomach. His other hand pinched the bridge of his nose. He figured his glasses had been left behind in the gateroom when he had been whisked away by Fraiser and a nurse.
He nodded in response to the doctor. He did not trust his voice to verbally answer since it was dry and the lump there made it more difficult.
"Hey."
"Colonel." Janet started at the voice. It had been said softly, but she knew full well what happened in the gateroom earlier. She was surprised to say the least.
"He doing all right?" Jack inquired as he looked down at the still form on the table that still had not opened his eyes.
"Fractured wrist." Fraiser explained. "He's in pain, but he's hanging in there. I was just going to leave him to change."
"Why does he have to stay?" Jack asked.
"The concussion." Janet reminded. "Has to be awakened every few hours to make sure he's okay. That's why he's in pain. I can't give him anything stronger than OTC pain relievers."
"Ouch." Jack winced. "Well, couldn't I wake him up? I mean, he could crash at my place instead of here."
The doctor looked sympathetically at the colonel. She knew what O'Neill was trying to do. He in no way was attempting to relieve his conscience, but rather to ease the tension and the sorrow Daniel was obviously still feeling.
"Daniel?" Janet placed her hand gently on her patient's shoulder. When there was no adamant negative response she shrugged. "All right, then. I will get the instructions and sign him out." She moved quickly out of the room.
Jack watched Daniel intently. He actually hoped his fallen friend would not open his eyes and look at him. Just silently accepting to be released in the colonel's care meant the door hadn't completely closed.
Tired was all he was at this point. Daniel really didn't want to spend the night in the infirmary. If he couldn't be home in his own bed, then the one in Jack's spare bedroom was good enough for him. If the dull ache on the top of his head wasn't bad enough, now the throbbing in his wrist was a constant reminder of his failure and Jack's macho pig-headedness.
"Okay." The doctor returned. "Let's go over the routine."
The truck pulled into the driveway slowly. Jack's hesitance was more because of the uneasy silence that would follow them into the house than not wanting to jar Daniel out of slumber. He looked over at the slumped form leaning against the door and cradling the bulky injured arm.
The colonel hopped out of the truck and walked around to the passenger side. No, Daniel hadn't fallen asleep on the ride because he sat up once Jack passed by in front of the vehicle. Pulling the door open Jack leaned on it while Daniel sluggishly slid out and moved toward the house.
The house was chilly. After letting Daniel in first, Jack locked up and moved to turn on the heat. As he did that Daniel passed behind him in the hall and headed for the spare room. Jack doubted the thermostat could cut that Jackson chill. He decided to go light a fire in the living room since he suspected he would spend most of his time there on this night.
When Jack arrived in the spare room Daniel had already taken his shoes, socks and pants off. Sitting in his boxers on the bed, he was unsuccessfully trying to remove the T-shirt over his chin with his right hand. Without a word Jack grabbed the hem of the shirt and awaited permission to aid his friend.
Daniel let go of his shirt and obediently raised his head while putting his arms up over his head. He was not above letting Jack help him in situations like this. Jack had always been there for him. Even when they had spats about one thing or another they could set it aside when the other was in need. Jackson was just a little taken by the fact that Jack was still being civil to him.
Jack slowly and gently peeled the left sleeve from around the bulky cast. Once the arm was free Daniel turned and swung his legs onto the bed and crawled under the covers.
Folding the discarded clothes over a chair Jack turned and saw Daniel covered up with his injured arm obviously stretched out underneath. The younger man's eyes were closed and his face calm. The colonel moved to the side of the bed and tucked the covers in, then walked out of the room turning off the switch as he did and leaving the door cracked slightly.
That was their routine. When one of them had a particularly bad mission where they were injured physically or otherwise and required a "sleep-over", they left the door open just in case. Nightmares were not exclusive to either Jack or Daniel. They shared many traits they acknowledged and some they would most definitely never recognize.
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A few hours later Jack entered the spare room holding a cupped hand over the flashlight in his other hand. He gazed down at his sleeping friend and wondered how long it had taken for him to fall asleep. Jack knew the wrist was bothering Daniel but until morning there was nothing he could do about it.
"Daniel." Jack called out in a loud whisper so as not to startle the other man.
Daniel opened his eyes and squinted over at Jack. "What?"
"Let me see your eyes." Jack replied, leaning in and inspecting Daniel for alertness. "You know where you are?"
"Yeah." Daniel answered with a yawn. "Your house."
"Good." Jack smiled. "Okay." He turned to leave and then whirled around. "Wait. Who am I?"
"What?" Daniel was still sleepy and not registering fast enough.
"Who am I who's house you're in?" Jack asked. When Daniel just glared back up at him Jack went on. "Okay, I'll give you a hint. Stupid son of a bitch help?"
It was not meant to be hurtful. Jack had wanted to lighten the moment somewhat. But by the sudden deer caught in the headlights look on Daniel's face, those words had hit him hard.
Curling up on his left side and away from Jack, Daniel felt as if he'd been punched in the stomach. Jack was never known for his command of the art of tact. But it was the middle of the night and Daniel would be damned if he would be bullied into answering for his reaction in the gateroom the day before.
"Crap." Jack sighed. "Daniel, come on. I didn't mean it like that."
There was a strained pause as Jack could hear Daniel inhaling through clenched teeth. When he turned around there were tears brimming Daniel's eyes that glistened in the subdued flashlight beam.
"Aw, Daniel." Jack shook his head. "Hold on." Quickly O'Neill rushed from the room.
In the kitchen, Jack pulled open the pantry where he kept some meds and grabbed the bottle of Extra Strength Tylenol. He shook out a couple hoping Daniel's tears were mostly from the pain in his wrist. He filled a juice glass with water and raced back into the guestroom.
Daniel was still lying on his back and looked toward the door after Jack flipped the switch for the hall light. When Jack put forth his offering Daniel took it without hesitation. Once Jack had set the glass on the nightstand he sat down on the bed.
"I didn't mean it either." Daniel finally whispered.
"Yeah, you did." Jack gently disagreed. "Well, at the time you did. And that's okay. You were hurting and upset. I hope now you don't feel that way."
"Jack, I don't." Daniel assured. "You did what you had to do. I know that. It's just that I wanted to help her so badly because I know."
The colonel waited for the linguist to aptly express his feelings. When that didn't happen and Daniel just looked away, Jack knew it was truth or dare time. Whenever Daniel was at a loss to explain himself it was because of deep emotional issues.
"You know what?" Jack prompted.
"How it feels." Daniel answered. He remained staring out into a dark corner in the room. "To be a kid all alone with no friends. Not being able to fit in because you're different. To be where some people want to destroy you for who you are. And who you aren't."
"Wow," was all Jack could say. He hadn't thought about that at all. Daniel lost a battle that day that he had obviously lost in childhood many times.
"And then what I said." Daniel turned to look at Jack now with the tears spilling down his cheeks. "I thought I'd really done it this time."
"Done what?" Jack softly asked.
"Made you give up on me, too." Daniel's chest heaved as he let out a strangled gasp. "Just like when I was a kid. Say or do the wrong thing and even if you're in a home that's tolerable you could get sent away. She just brought it all back. All of those memories that I pushed way back in my mind. "
This was raw and on the surface. The feeling of being the geek in a military world was nothing new. But the ugly duckling amidst a pond of swans was something Jack had never seen in Daniel. And to know that the brainiac harbored the thoughts that he could actually do or say something to lose Jack's friendship hit O'Neill hard.
"Daniel," Jack placed his hand on Jackson's shoulder. "I've told you before I don't believe all of what you say and I don't like most of it. But nothing you could ever do or say would make me dismiss you."
O'Neill's heart skipped a beat when Daniel closed his eyes and turned his head away. No way had Jack ever thought the change in their relationship had become this serious. But then again he had tried not to think about it at all.
"Look at me." Jack pleaded. When Daniel did not comply, Jack continued. "Come on, Daniel. You're my best friend and that will never change."
"Right." Daniel's tone was tinged with sarcasm.
"What does that mean?" Jack asked defensively.
Daniel let out a sigh and wiped his eyes with the back of his good hand. He turned his head and looked at Jack with tired eyes.
"We haven't exactly been the best of chums lately." Then Daniel set a quizzical gaze on Jack. "Or haven't you noticed?"
Jack shifted his shoulders and gave his best dumbfounded look that he could. "No."
"Right." Daniel repeated.
"Daniel, this has been one hell of a last few years." Jack said. "I know I haven't been very civil to you, but issues have been intense."
"I know." Daniel agreed. "But we used to be able to separate work and our friendship."
"Well, I'm glad you used we in that observation." The colonel huffed. "You've been extra pissy lately too, you know."
"So," Daniel set his jaw. "I always heard two wrongs don't make a right."
"Yeah," Jack shrugged his shoulders. "And don't count your chickens before they hatch. And you can kill a bird in the hand that's worth two in the bush."
Daniel could not help himself, even though he wanted to, and let out a half grin as he turned away.
"What?" Jack asked with a puzzled look.
Daniel always found those innocent Jack-isms, like the bird in the hand one, could lighten even the tensest moment. Or maybe they weren't so innocent at all. Daniel's eyes focused on Jack when he felt the back of the other man's hand tap his own thigh.
"I don't know what happened, really." Jack softly said. "I think ever since the rogue SG team incident we've kind of been skittish with each other, huh?"
Daniel was taken off guard that Jack would actually acknowledge that. After all, he thought the colonel's explanation as to why he had cut him with a verbal knife about the shattered foundation of their friendship was it. Daniel figured Jack was satisfied with his own justification.
"I guess," was all Daniel could reply.
"Yeah." Jack smiled at him. "That's a part of me I'd hoped you would never have to see. It sucks, but there was a bigger picture to consider than just your feelings."
"The greater good and all." Daniel reasoned. "I'm all for that. I just..."
"Go on." Jack prodded.
"I just found it so...personal." Daniel finally said, looking away again. "I find it hard to believe there wasn't any other way."
"Find?" Jack asked with a frown. "Not found? You still believe that any part of what I said then was, is, true?"
"Don't you?" Daniel shot back, biting his lower lip. "Tell me that it hasn't been in the back of your mind? Tell me that you don't have the same damn doubts that I do?"
Yep, Jack thought. That's why he hadn't really wanted to think too much about this. But what could he say? He had wondered just why he and Daniel had grown apart. He knew it was true, but he didn't want Daniel to know he had felt it.
"No." Jack emphatically replied. "I know what I'm capable of using against someone when I have a job to do. That's what I never wanted you to see let alone be on the receiving end of. Damn it, Daniel. We've been through way too much together to question loyalties. Don't you think?"
"We have." Daniel answered. "Been through a lot together. I guess that's why it hurt so much. And then when you even started being more gruff than usual towards me, I just figured it was the absent foundation. Guess it's just my insecurities coming back to haunt me."
"I'm sorry, Daniel." Jack said with heartfelt guilt. "About everything. Hell, everything over the last two years, how's that?"
"So, bringing me home tonight." Daniel began. "I guess that wasn't for the greater good of keeping the team solid, then."
Jack shook his head. "That was about you, Daniel. Just you."
"Swear?" Daniel smiled now.
"Pinkie swear on your good hand." Jack held out his pinkie finger.
Daniel laughed as he held up his right pinkie and hooked it with Jack's. When they broke the grip, which was more like a tug of war, Jack rose from the bed.
"Janet will be really ticked off if I don't let you get back to sleep so I can wake you up." He tucked in the covers once again. "How's the wrist?"
"Hurts a little." Daniel frowned. "Thanks for the pills."
"No problem." Jack moved to the door. "Maybe tomorrow she can give you stronger stuff."
Jack was comforted to see Daniel nod and then turn over on his right side to face him as he settled under the covers. It had been a long time since Daniel had spent the night at his place and Jack realized how much he missed having someone else in the house. Someone that he could take care of, although he would never let Daniel know that's how he saw his friendship.
Maybe he had shirked his duty on his end of the friendship. Jack was the protector and he hadn't been doing that at all lately. He forgot because Daniel had grown up pretty much over the last five years. He was a longhaired, wide-eyed innocent kid in the beginning and had grown into a man before Jack's eyes. But underneath that strong bodied, duty bound man was the innocent kid who still wanted to be accepted for who he is.
As he turned the hall light off to make his way back to his bedroom Daniel called to him. "Night, again!"
Maybe now in the dark hours of the morning as he woke Daniel up a few more times they could regain what they had lost. Jack replied, "Back at you."
THE END