Merging of Souls and Swords

Ch.8

How badly

Slowly ever so slowly he opened his eyes. He didn't know where or when he was. It was a nauseating sensation. Eating away at his stomach like a ravenous beast. Still he felt pleased. Something in him burned. An ever-present passion that was driving him, as he opened his eyes he recognized something.

He was presently looking at a familiar hospital ceiling. Still a passion inside his burned ever present. He looked at his hands and his body. It was functional. However this feeling was misplaced. Then he noticed the small triangular marking on his hand. Clenching his fist Shinji Ikari said words that seemed to convey his entire being.

"To find the truth." He stated calmly and forcefully. And his hand started to glow a soft ocean blue. Then his head snapped back as another voice made it present.

"It seems like you understand." Link said in recognition.

"I do. And I will find it." Shinji said out loud. No matter whoever heard him he needed to voice his opinion.

"So I take it that fooling around is no longer an option." Link said in a mock laugh. Disguising his despair in this situation.

"I didn't mean that……………...but it might have to be that way." The last part sighed out of his lungs. He got up looking for his equipment.

Gone. Link thought.

Gendo took them. As a precaution I would presume. Shinji thought with extreme malice. Just as his thoughts were on Gendo his heart seemed to jump into his head. His heartbeat throbbed in his brain. It in itself started to deduce things in a process so elaborate that it came up with logical conclusions as his brain screamed in pain. Falling to his knees clutching his head he convulsed taking in and rearranging information. Reprocessing it again and again. Link on the other hand was worried but in awe.

So this is how the princess knew everything. Not by a prophecy, but by her mind. He said not knowing how to deal with the pain Shinji was in.

After the convulsions Shinji was sweating profusely. He was on all fours breathing heavily. Taking in air. Then as coherent thought came back to him he said one thing.

"Kaji." Shinji bolted up and ran out of the hospital. Link didn't know what was going on. He couldn't read Shinji's mind, like a massive wall was placed between them. And all he could do was observe. Shinji ran with all his might. Grabbing his Nerv identification and a set of clothes.

"Must find Kaji." Shinji sprinted down the streets. Link saw as the boy looked frantically to the left then to his right and then sprinting forward again. Then without warning taking a right then a left. Like he knew exactly where he was going. Yet his facial expression didn't prove that. Link watched in awe as they came to a secluded Nerv designated shelter.

On the ground was a bleeding Ryoji Kaji three-bullet wound in his chest. His face completely recognizable, however there was someone standing over him. That person quickly ran away. The body noticed. Shinji walked up to the dying Kaji and pulled him into his arms.

"Shinji?" Kaji said through blood. His breath becoming shallow, he tried to reach for something in his pocket. A lifeline. So to speak, it seemed like it was important. Shinji deduced instantly.

Reaching into the pocket and pulling out a small pill Shinji nodded to the dying man. Then he leaned down to whisper into his ear.

"I can't save you. But Kaji, I will try. Try to find the truth. I'm so sorry, so sorry. Kaji I won't tell her. I won't. But I'll do what has to be done. I will do what has to be done." Shinji softly cried with the dead man in his arms, a small almost non-existent smile. Like he heard every word Shinji had said. And understood. His soul at rest, Shinji however still cried. He knew. He just never noticed it before.

"WHY COULDN'T I HAVE REALIZED SOONER!" Shinji screamed into the empty shelter with blood on his shirt and arms, the dead man limp and cold to the touch.

CALM YOURSELF SHINJI! Do what has to be done. Give this man a proper burial. Do it! Link almost commanded the emotional boy. Shinji recollected himself and slung the body over his shoulders. Delicately yet quickly to a certain place.

Misato was driving home, an ever-present message playing itself on her machine.

In the melon field just off the lake a small make shift grave was made. Blood on his white shirt Shinji took the garden shovel and dug it into the soft soil. He then placed the melons around the grave. Bowing and giving his prayers he turned around and took out the string that Kaji used to tie his ponytail back. He tied it around his neck.

"I hate blood. It smells." Shinji then produced the lighter that was also on one Ryoji Kaji and took off his white shirt. He was in a navy under shirt. Then he ignited lighter and burned the garment that was covered in blood. Once all this was done he fell backwards overcome with emotion. Sitting at the foot of the grave he cried again.

Shinji.. Link called out in worry. Feeling the emotions roll off the boy, the ever-present emotions of despair and sorrow clouded his thought.

You couldn't stop it. We have to go back. And find out what Kaji found out. Link stated calmly.

NO I COULD HAVE STOPPED IT IF I ONLY NOTICED! IF I WASN'T NAÏVE! WHY COULDN'T I HAVE REALIZED IT EARLIER! HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE! Shinji cried. Sobbing uncontrollably. Then a searing pain burned his mind.

SNAP YOUR SELF OUT OF IT WHATS DONE IS DONE! YOU KNOW WHAT HAS TO BE DONE! YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO IT! YOU KNOW! GET OVER IT DO WHAT YOU PROMISED! Link screamed while causing the searing pain to become unbearable. Shinji ran home. Crying the whole way.

Misato replayed the message over and over. She sobbed. Smashing the table with what little strength she had she screamed in frustration. No one knew. No one. She was the only one. She knew he was dead. All of it was over.

"NOOOO! DAMN YOU DAMN YOU! STUPID KAJI! WHY? WHY!" She screamed in bitter irony. Then as soon as she was going to collapse to the ground the door swung open. She looked up at a teary eyed wet Shinji Ikari. His eyes watery and his body shivering uncontrollably, running up to the crying Misato he grabbed her and they both cried together.

I'm not alone. Misato cried into the open arms. While she was being held and cradled by someone, not caring who.

Kaji. I didn't tell her. I didn't tell her. She already knew. I'm sorry. So sorry. Repeating this again and again he thought while holding onto Misato. Like she was his only line into this world. Everything had been shattered. He could have prevented it all. He could have saved Kaji. Saved all the others. But he was to blind to understand. He hugged the only thing that could keep him in this world.

They both fell asleep in that position. On the floor of the kitchen a Shinji Ikari had his blonde locks draped over the head of one Misato Katsuragi. Sitting cross-legged and having the older woman in his lap, his arms wrapped around her back while she dug her forehead into his collar bone. In the distance one Asuka Langley Soryu looked on. Emotions battling in the windows of her soul, to either join them. Or go on and ignore the bakas. She made her decision and walked back into her room.