Figuring It Out
Disclaimer: I don't own very much.
Ok, I am sorry about the cock up with last chapter, I'll try not to do it again.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed!
Oh, and the whole Whomping Willow Incident took place in the Marauders 5th year in this story.
Chapter 5: Remus Lupin
It was mid-December now and Sirius was around three months pregnant. He had started to gain a few pounds, much to his horror and the amusement of his inconsiderate best friend and now his cravings were becoming very odd and he was constantly asking his friends to get him some disgusting food.
Sirius lay awake, huddled under the blankets on his bed one cold, wintery night. He felt so uncomfortable with the extra bit of weight he had gained, and he couldn't get comfortable in bed either, he had been tossing and turning constantly for about the last two hours.
Why haven't Remus and James learnt how to use a silencing charm yet? Thought Sirius as he heard quiet moans and grunts coming from the bed only a few feet away from his. Why do I have to be boyfriendless? Why can't I have what they have? …Because I'm a stupid knocked up slut, that's why?!
Sirius sniffled, he was so emotional now, everything made him cry, especially when people commented on his weight. He buried his face in his pillow and tried to stifle his sobs.
Remus covered his boyfriend's mouth with his hand, as James was about to talk, he listened carefully for a moment before turning his golden eyes back to James. "Sirius is crying."
James sighed and sat up, "God I wish people would stop making him cry." He poked his head out through the curtains around his bed, he saw Sirius curled up in a ball under his blankets shaking a little. "Siri?"
"Leave me alone!"
Remus poked his head out from where he was under James, "Siri, what's wrong?"
Sirius continued sniffling, "Nothing… Just go back to sleep…"
James and Remus glanced at each other and mentally agreed to talk to Sirius later, they pulled their heads back into the bed without so much as another word.
For god sakes Black, they're trying to help you! Why do you keep shutting your best friends out? Thought Sirius in annoyance at himself. God I hate myself sometimes…
2am
Remus had woken up feeling quite hungry, he pulled on a pair of pants and a sweater, along with his slippers and then he headed out of the dorm and down to the Common Room. As he headed for the portrait Remus heard quiet sniffling, he turned back to the furniture and saw Sirius curled up on the couch. "Siri…"
"Go away…"
Remus went and sat down on the couch, "You know I'm not going to do that."
Sirius sat up a little bit and wrapped the blanket he had tightly around his shaking body. "Why not?"
Remus put his arm on the back of the couch as he faced Sirius, "Si, you're my best friend, I hate seeing you so upset and not knowing why? I mean, I understand that you're more emotional now because you're pregnant but…" He put a hand tentatively on Sirius' shoulder. "What's the matter? We only want to help…"
Sirius wiped his eyes on his sleeve and tried to calm himself down a little, "…I just can't help but think I may never have what you and James have…especially now when I don't even know who the father of my baby is." He sniffled and tried to hold back the fresh tears that were threatening to fall. "I mean…who would want me?"
"Snape by the sounds of it." Replied Remus, watching Sirius intently, his golden eyes full of concern. "And anyway, you know you're not alone in this, Jamie and I are here for you. So's Poppy and McGonagall…and Dumbledore…and Snape." Sirius managed a weak smile. "We all care about you Siri, its just a bit hard when you keep shutting us out."
Sirius turned his blue eyes to Remus, "I know…sorry, I just can't help it. Every time I get upset I just feel like I'm the only one, like I'm all alone." He stared back at the dying fire in the Common Room. "And when you're all so nice to me it just makes me think its out of pity. Stupid knocked up Sirius, doesn't know who the father is."
Remus sighed, "You are not stupid, you weren't to know guys could get pregnant as easily as girls." He saw Sirius scowling at the fire, his bottom lip trembling a little. "And so what if you slept around? Most kids our age, in this school do. My parents were seventeen when they had me…"
"Really?" Sirius looked back to Remus curiously. Maybe there is hope for me after all…
Remus nodded, "Yeah, they managed fine and I'm sure you could too." He brushed Sirius' fringe out of his blue eyes. "You just have to let us help…"
Sirius gave his first genuine smile in days, "Thank you."
"For what?" Questioned Remus curiously.
"For making me feel better." Replied Sirius gratefully. "For being here for me, even when I swear at you and James and shut you out and ignore you an-"
"I get the point." Said Remus quickly cutting his pregnant friend off. "You feel guilty."
Sirius nodded, "I do." He slouched down on the couch a bit and rested his hands on his growing abdomen.
Remus put an arm around his friend and hugged him, "You feeling happier now?"
Sirius rested his head on Remus' shoulder, "A bit… Shouldn't you go back to the twat upstairs?"
Remus smirked, he knew Sirius still hadn't forgiven James for a comment he had made about the weight Sirius had gained. "Nah, he'll manage without me for a few hours, probably doesn't even know I'm gone."
Sirius smiled and closed his eyes, he thought for a moment before speaking again, his eyes still closed, "Do you remember why we slept together in the first place?"
Remus stared into the fire, "You were the only one free the night of the full moon that month…Peter was in the Infirmary, James was in detention and you felt guilty for screwing me over last year."
Sirius winced a little at that memory, he had told Severus about the Whomping Willow in a moment of pure stupidity and ultimately gave away Remus' secret to the Slytherin. "Oh yeah…" He did still feel bad about that betrayal, but Remus had forgiven him, and in the summer James had finally forgiven him as well. Sirius wasn't too concerned about whether Peter forgave him or not, because Remus and James meant so much more to him than Peter did. "…And the wolf wanted a quick shag before the moon came up right?"
"Pretty much…" Remus trailed off for a moment. "Did I come off as too forceful that night?"
Sirius smirked, "No. I've slept with Lucius Malfoy remember? No one is as controlling as he is where sex is concerned." He glanced at Remus' face out the corners of his eyes. "And anyways, I know you weren't really thinking logically then, you were just doing what the wolf wanted…"
Remus nodded, "I just needed to make sure you knew that…"
"Of course I did…do…" Sirius bit bottom lip thoughtfully. "I did enjoy it."
Remus laughed, "You would." Sirius grinned. "I did too though."
"It was pretty amazing…even if it was quick and rough…" Said Sirius thoughtfully. "Do you do James like that?"
Remus glanced away innocently, a tinge of red to his cheeks.
"I'll take that as a yes." Sirius smirked at his friend.
9am
James got up earlier than usual because he found he was without a certain werewolf in his bed. When he went down to the Common Room, he found out why? There fast asleep on the couch together were his best friend and his boyfriend, sleeping soundly, Sirius' head on Remus' stomach.
James smirked and shook his head, they did look quite cute there. He turned away from the couch and headed out of Gryffindor Tower for breakfast, leaving the two alone.
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A/N: I know it took me a while to update, but I have been really sick the last couple of weeks, and I've spent a while away from the computer trying to recover. But you'll be happy to know that I will hopefully be updating a bit more regularly now as I am getting better.
Next Chapter: Lucius Malfoy. This one will also probably be without a flashback as my mind has gone blank on this particular couple as well.
By the way, this story is pre-written, as it used to be on my old account. I have already started on the sequel. I think there are about another five chapters of this story to go.