Disclaimer: Well… I have six dollars. Eventually I will have enough to pay back my mom for Dark Angel DVDs. So, you could sue me, what good it would do, but my guess is the people who might want to do that aren't even reading this anyway, so why bother?

A/N: The name used in this story (you'll know the one when you see it) come from "The Hork Bajir Chronicles" which has some aliens and genetic engineering, and is targeted to the age Jondy was when she said she read it. Just in case I make anyone curious.

A/N2: This is the second version of this fic to be posted on the internet. It's the same story, but lacking typos and now the dates are more canon. So yay!

Jondy the Abandoner

March 2, 2014

Five years ago tonight we escaped form Manticore, but somehow if seems a lot longer. So much has changed since the escape.

I'm standing in an old park in some small town I can't even remember the name of. There's not much snow, just enough to cover the grass, and it's very cold. So cold that even I am shivering.

The rusted swings creak behind me in the wind, and I clutch the small life, that was just an accident, closer to me. I have to get rid of her before Zack finds out. He'll be coming soon.

Zack comes to see me every six months. Six months ago I was barely showing, so I wore a baggy sweatshirt and he didn't notice. Six months ago is when I found out why it all had happened, because Zack told me it had happened to Syl too. This was all, of course, three months too late. So I lied to Zack. I told him that I had been able to control my first heat cycle.

In reality I had jumped the first guy I came into contact with and we fucked each other's brains out.

The result stirred in my arms. Not yet an hour old, she was wrapped up in my warmest sweatshirt. Originally, I had planned to just kill her, but she had the most beautiful eyes, and I couldn't do it. Big brown eyes.

So I wrapped her up in my shirt and came here, and I was going to leave her on the lonely bench that sat several yards from the old play equipment. Someone would find her, I told myself. Even though she doesn't have a bar code, she's still part transgenic. She can make it through the night.

I made my way over the slight dusting of snow over to the bench. My hair whipped wildly in the wind, getting in my face.

I set the baby down on the bench, and realized the wood was partially rotted through. The baby couldn't be more than six pounds, I told myself. It'll be fine. My baby was small, because I was small. I had been surprised when she first came out, because I had never seen a person so small.

She opened her warm brown eyes then. They reminded me of Maxie's eyes. Five years ago tonight was the last time I had seen eyes like that. When I stood up she began to cry lightly. Her sobs were very soft, not the usual shrill cry you usually hear from newborns.

It was much colder out than I had realized. Without the body heat of my baby clutched to me, I felt cold and vulnerable.

I turned away form the baby's small, tear stained face. I had to do this.

The bench was facing a pond. It was covered over with a very thin layer of ice. Just thick enough that a young child could wonder out to the middle of it before they fell through and never be seen again. There was no warning sign though; people didn't care enough anymore.

I walked closer to the pond, away from the quiet sobbing of the baby. I could see tiny footprints in the snow covering the ice.

They led to a jagged hole in the center. I starred at it.

The ice cracked and in a horrifying instant, Max slipped under.

Someone had fallen through the ice here. A small child, about five, judging from the footprint size. I wondered if anyone had been with them.

"Max!" I had screamed. Helicopters droned overhead and snowmobiles were speeding closer. Searchlights beamed across the snow, growing nearer every second. I couldn't wait any longer, or neither of us would make it. I ran.

I had abandon Max. Even if someone was with whoever fell through here, that didn't ensure a rescue attempt. Some people just didn't care enough.

I ran through the woods, bullets nipping at my feet, one nicked my thigh. I thought only of myself escaping. I knew the local topography well. I came to a seven-foot drop, and ran off the edge without pausing.

Landing easily, I rolled into a small cave, the location such that it was impossible to see unless you were looking for it, and even then it could be difficult to find. Luckily, in my hyper adrenelized state I was able to find it easily.

Krit and Tinga were inside, and they greeted me warmly. I was so busy thinking that I had made it; I was alive, that I didn't even wonder if Maxie had made it. Krit, Tinga and I huddled closely for warmth.

But Maxie was cold.

A tear found it's way out of my eye and down my face at the memory of my selfishness. The wind had died down a bit, but the tear still stung my cheek sharply in the cold.

When I was eleven I asked Zack if Maxie ever made it. I had just recently run away from my foster family, and changed my name to Aldrea. Aldrea was the name of the best character, an alien, in my favorite book. Actually, it was the only book I had ever read at the time, but I liked the name. Zack thought it was stupid, and drew too much attention.

I asked Zack where Max was, if he knew. I was thinking it would be great fun to see her again, and maybe we could live together. Zack didn't say anything. So I asked if she made it out… And he still didn't say anything. So I asked if Maxie drown, already knowing the answer.

Zack looked down. And then he nodded.

I had abandon Maxie, and left her there in that freezing pond to die. Even X5s can't hold their breath forever, and by the time I was embracing my siblings in the warmth of the cave, Maxie was dead.

My Maxie. I had always been the one to help her. I was supposed to be protecting her, because she might have more seizures while we were running away. I did a horrible thing.

I'm Jondy the abandoner… And here I am, doing it again. But this time I'm Rachel the abandoner, because that's been my alias for about a year now. When Zack comes he'll make me change it again. I've been Rachel for too long.

I sighed, and the wind came up again and took my long hair for a ride once more. What would Zack say if I told him I'd had a baby? He'd be angry for sure, and he'd know I lied. Her eyes were so pretty…

I walked away.

Just as I was passing the rickety slide, cold sleet began to fall. The baby began to wail. I turned to her shrill screams and saw the pond.

Memory and reality mixed together, and nine-year-old Maxie slipped under the surface, just as the baby let out a horrifying screech.

I ran back to the baby, and she stopped crying and looked up at me. She was my baby, and I would take care of her, and she would make me smile with her beautiful eyes.

Eyes like Maxie's.

Who cares what Zack says? It's better late than never.

The end.