Wow. Okie, so this one might be a little short. I'm sorry about that. Hrmm, well, I know a few of you will like this chapter, but it's not meant to be liked. It starts out well, but it's just so sad. ((Sobs))
Yuna-Wow....Imagine if this really happened!
Rikku-Yeah, what's this whole thing about Barkeep and me? I mean, a hypello?
Me-((snickers)) Yes....Yes Rikku hehe.

Baralai left early morning....We had fallen asleep on the Celsius deck. We mostly talked about different things. I told him everything from my past to my present, and he told me his. He was such an amazing person. Even if I'm in love, he's still an amazing person, if people just let him show them that. He had to leave early, had some work to do. I had my first, real kiss this morning, and it was so amazing. His lips against mine, I could feel the warmth of his touch, his embrace, his love for me. It was nothing like I'd ever felt, and I hope that it will be like that forever.

What am I talking about? Forever never lasts....I hear a scream. Oh God, what now? I run to the elevator. I look back at the spot where Baralai and I slept, I smile, knowing I won't be for a while. I hate this feeling. I go to the bridge, and I find Buddy consoling Yuna. She's on her knees, crying. Well, more like sobs and wails. Buddy walks over. "Hey, what was that scream?"
"Yuna crying...."

"Yeah, what's the deal with her, and where is Rikku? She's always tagging someone around."
"Rikku is in the cabin....She's wallowing in her depression and pity, Yuna is blaming herself."
"For what though? Won't you just tell me?"
"Go down to the boiler room, you'll figure it out pretty quick." I look at him with a questionable look. He nods. I turn around and see Shinra hiding in a corner, muttering something about mechanical ressurection. What the fuck? I tap into the computer, and after what seems like hours, I'm in the boiler room. I look straight ahead, my jaw drops. Oh....Dear....God....I can see why Yuna is blaming herself, but, god damnit. What the fuck was he thinking? I walk down the stairs. What in God's name did he do this for? God he was so messed up! I wonder if Cid knows about it yet. I wonder what he's going to do, say, and what Rikku is doing. Probably getting drunk as hell, if I do say so myself. I guess I would too, if Lulu died. I mean, if Lulu died, I think the rest of my would too....Hrm....

"Brother, what was your motive?" I take my sword and cut him down. He had hung himself. Why did people always choose the most messiest ways to get out of life? I look at this purple-blue strangled face, his lips so blue. His body is stiff and cold. I find a piece of paper crumpled up in his hand. I take it out and read it.

Yuna

I am sorry for trouble I have caused you. I did not mean to hurt you. I love you with all my heart.

Rikku

Bmayca vunkeja sa. E muja oui tayn cecdan. Damm Cid E muja res duu. Tuh'd rumt drec ykyehcd sa.

(Please forgive me. I love you dear sister. Tell Cid I love him too. Don't hold this against me.)

Paine

I don't know you well, but I'm sorry. I'll miss you.

Brother

Wow....I was in there? He had more paper in his other hand, but I won't read it. It'll probably be for Buddy and Shinra. I grab that and take the elevator back up to the bridge. I hand Buddy the second piece of the letter, and Yuna the first. She reads it through blurred vision, and breaks down again one the bridge floor. "I'm going to check out how Rikku's doing, you keep comforting Yuna, Buddy." I looked at Shinra, and thought it best to leave him for a while more. He was a child, he might be a genius, but he could still hurt. I took the elevator to the cabin, scared to death, yet confident as ever. I walked in, and saw Rikku talking to Barkeep.

"Ya know, Barkeep, you're pretty damn sexy!"
"Reeku, pleashe shtop."
"C'mon you sexy hypello, you. We don't have Brother around anymore. I can do as I like!"
"Ah, Paine! Pleashe, come sit down. Talk to Reeku, I'll get you shomething, anything!"
"I'll have a beer, Barkeep." He smiled at me and walked slowly. "Rikku, you have to get a hold of yourself! You can't do this!"
"You better believe I can! No more annoying Rikku. This is the new and improved me!" She makes insane hand gestures, her shot of liquor spilling everywhere. "And anyway, you're the one that told me to leave you alone, so why not do the same for me? Go away, Paine."
"Rikku, you can't drink yourself away like this. It's not the right way, and your smart enough to fucking know that!" I take the shot glass out of her prying hands, and smack her hard. She looks at me, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Paine, I'm so sorry! I just....It's hard! Brother has always been the one there for me. When my father used to do those awful things to me! Paine, you have no idea! Oh Paine!" She came at me hard. She hugged me tightly. This was what it felt like to be sympathetic and compassionate. Oh how I had longed for someone to hold me as Baralai did....Rikku now knew what it was like to lose someone so precious. She knew what it was like for me, Yuna....She knew....I still hope she'll be that little cheerful girl, obsessed with candy. I would miss that Rikku. I would miss seeing the person I secretly longed to be....I hugd her back, listening to her stories until she falls asleep in my arms. I carry her up to a bed, and lay her down. I watch over her for a few more minutes, and leave to go to the bridge. Yuna has finally stopped crying, but all she can do is stare at the wall. Hoping she'll hear his voice telling her it wasn't his fault. Telling her that it was a big joke. I look over, I see Shinra, sobbing. I crouch down.

"Shinra?"
"Leave me alone."
"Shinra, it's okay....I'm not here to say you're wrong for crying about someone. It's okay to cry." I hug him, and he holds me tightly. He's just a frightened, shocked child. This was the Shinra I had never seen. The vulnerable, childish side. It hurt me, but made me feel unique that I had gotten to see it. I look at Yuna, she's blank as a toy doll. I finally let Shinra go, and smile at him to let him know he'll be okay. I walk over to Yuna. I don't even speak. I give her a tight, emotional hug, to let her know she wasn't alone. To let her know that she had someone there for her. She pulls away, shocked. I smile.

This was what it was like to feel. To help others, not physically, but mentally. This was what it felt like, to be truly human....This was life at it's lowest, and I smiled. How cynical I always was....I can never fix that. But it's just funny how one can overlook so many things, numb themselves to so many things....I remember feeling like this when my parents died. I could have saved them, I could have tried. Yet I avenged them, and will finish that job. I look into Yuna's red eyes. The glassy reflection of me. I look down at the floor. I start to cry. I pull Yuna into my arms, and we cry.

Disclaimer:::Yadda, yadda, yadda....I think I'm gonna stop doing this Disclaimer thing hehe.