August 23rd, 2004
Week 20
Man, it was so nice to have Carol around. Susan had really missed her. Lunches and dinners with her best friend had been so wonderful.
"I hate that I'm leaving tomorrow." Carol said as the women walked down the street.
"You need to think about moving back to Chicago." Susan said.
"I don't think Doug would like that." She said.
"Who cares. He didn't even come to Mark's funeral. he needs to come back home." Susan said, "I want you to see the baby. I want to see your girls grow up." Carol smiled softly.
"I'll talk to him about it." She sighed, "how was it?"
"What?" Susan asked.
"Mark's last moments..." She said.
"You two should have been here." Susan said with a sad look in her eye. "He...It was bad, Carol. He wasn't himself, but yet he was. He knew it was happening. I was the first one he told that he was going down hill. He didn't even tell Elizabeth until near the end. he was terrified to leave his girls."
"I forgot he had another little one. Ella right?" Carol asked.
"Yes. She's so precious." Susan sighed. "She looks like Mark." Tears welled up in her eyes, "I miss him so much, Carol."
"I know, Susan." Carol took her hand and squeezed as she watched the tears slid down her cheeks.
"These stupid hormones." Susan whispered.
"It's not the hormones and it's all right to cry." Carol said, "I cried for weeks when I heard. God, even Doug did."
"Doug doesn't cry." Susan sniffled.
"This time he did." Carol said.
"I thought it'd get easier." Susan said, "I thought the pain of loosing my best friend who heal, but the hole is still as big as it was the day I found out." Susan started to sob this time.
"Oh look what I've done." Carol gathered Susan in her arms.
"D-Don't leave me, Carol!!" Susan sobbed. Carol couldn't help but to smile. This part was definitely her hormones.
"I got to at least for now." Carol said. "But I promise to talk to Doug about moving back. he is looking for a new job and Chicago does have good schools." Susan pulled away her face was red and puffy.
"Thank you, Carol." Susan whimpered wiping her face.
"What are friends for?" She chuckled, "Go inside and wash your face. You'll feel better."
"Yes, Mummy." Susan pulled her tired body up and went inside. Carol sighed. Lord, would Doug freak out when she proposed this idea to him? Oh probably, but she didn't care.
September 7th, 2004
Week 22
Luka was starting to get nervous. The baby would be here in twelve weeks. That seemed long to any average person, but when you were expecting a baby, Luka knew that flew fast. Then he would have another life he had to take care of. Another life that could slip away from him in an instant.
He stood in the nursery staring at the sheep that adorned everything. Since He and Susan didn't know the sex of the baby, a sheep theme seemed to be fitting. He sighed again picking up one of the stuffed sheep.
"Oh I'm so scared, moj andjeo." Luka whispered. Tears started to fill his blue eyes. Susan stood in the doorway.
"Moj andjeo? What does that mean?" She asked. Luka was startled. he didn't know she had been listening.
"My Angel." he mumbled wiping his eyes. Susan stepped into the room.
"Luka, are you crying?" She asked him. He shook his head.
"No. I was just looking at the baby's things thinking about him or her." He told her. Susan stepped around the crib and saw the tears.
"Don't lie to me, Luka." She said. He looked at her.
"I'm just nervous." Luka admitted to his wife. "I don't want to loose any of you." Susan took his hand and placed it on her belly.
"You're not going to loose us." Susan said, "The three of us will be in your life forever. you're going to get bored with us."
"Never." he chuckled weakly.
"Come on. Let's go have some dinner." Susan said. "it's cooking and Suzie is starving. She's about the gnaw her arm off."
"We couldn't have that now could we?" Luka asked her as they walked down stairs.
* * *
"And then Jodi told the teacher that she was too old to play with the clay. She sneezed and boogers came flying out of her nose all over Mrs. White!!" Suzie cackled. Susan grimaced. "She was covered in Jodi's snot! It was all green and gross!"
"Suzie, we're trying to eat. I don't want any disgusting talk." Susan said. She enjoyed her food and she didnt want to throw it up. With how this pregnancy was going she probably would. Luka chuckled.
"I like disgusting talk like Little ducklings farting." He said. Suzie laughed louder.
"The bubbles in the water will pop them out." She said. Luka laughed.
"Please." Susan smothered her laughs from Suzie.
"Little duckling farts." Suzie giggled. Susan looked at Luka.
"This is what you want to hang on to?" She asked.
"Yes. Every bit of it." Luka forked some turkey into his mouth. He didn't care what kind of talk was going on at the table. Any talk was better than none. He hated all those lonely nights that he sat at his kitchen table staring at the empty seats. Now, there would never be another emoty sea tin his life again.
* * *
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