Ch.1

yay..another one of my crazy stories....

It's kinda weird when people say all good things come to and end because its really true. Unfortunate but true. Life for me wasn't much different than it had always been school, hanging out at the movies with the gang on Friday nights. An occasional run in with the Socs. It was just normal everyday life. Johnny and I would sometimes joke about how our lives were almost mechanical, always the same thing week after week. We would wonder what would break us out of this and how big the event would be. Dally always told us to stop being so "philosopher-like" and come out into reality. But neither of us ever really listened. The first reason was because any bit of advice from Dallas Winston probably isn't worth listening to, and even if it was, we didn't really care to. Everyone was the same, not changing. Two-bit was his normal goofy self, always being a klutz or a clown to get attention. And no his obsession with Mickey Mouse hadn't changed either. He was still the same blonde loving, wise cracking, lazy guy he always was.

Soda was the same too. Always cheerful, with a nice thing to say to anyone. Always ready fo a game of football no matter how tired he was from work. Dally, well he was still angry at the world and hated anything not his way. But his love for Johnny had increased. He would turn on someone in a second but not Johnny. He would always have something, like an extra pack of cigarettes, to give him. Even though he didn't like to show it, you could tell Johnny was his favorite, almost like a little brother. Steve was as obnoxious and arrogant as ever. And Soda liked him as much as he ever did. Steve still had some disdain for me even though I was almost fifteen. Johnny, well he still reminded me of that lost puppy but there was something else there. He was less...scared. He spent less and less time at his home and more and more at mine. Not that I minded. Johnny and I had become closer than ever. I don't know why but we shared a same outlook or something on life and knew how hard it was to go it alone.

Last but not least came Darry. While the rest of us were stuck in some kinda of non changing stage, he was the one changing. He was never very talkative, being the mature one in the bunch, but now he almost never said anything. He worked harder than ever, and had lost a ton of weight. He wasn't nearly as strong as he used to be either. It scared me sometimes to look at him. I couldn't figure it out and neither could Soda. He would try his hardest to cheer Darry up but the most he could ever get out of him was a dry grin that seemed so forced that it hurt to look at him. His ice blue eyes that were hard with determination were now dull and lifeless. It really scared me. I tried even harder in school to try to please him, but he barely noticed. He was so...isolated and it really frightened me. He was always there for me so why couldn't I be there for him now? Why wouldn't he let me? Or anyone else for that matter.

I will never forget today after school. I will never take Darry for granted ever again. Ever. I walked in the door. Now, I was used to coming home to an empty house. Johnny usually came home with me as he did today. And we found Darry. We walked in the door and instead of a usually silent, house. There was some strange almost whimpering noise coming from his room. I slowly walked toward the closed door with Johnny on my heels. I silently opened the door and I almost fell backwards onto Johnny. Darry sat on his bed crying. Just sitting there, bawling his eyes out like a baby. He hadn't noticed Johnny and I at the door. Johnny looked at me with large, questioning eyes. He looked ready to leave. But I wasn't ready to handle this alone. I glared at him and he stayed put. "Darry?" I almost whispered. This I had never seen him like this before. Actually, come to think of it I have never seen Darry cry. Even at out parents funeral he never cried. But then why was he now when nothing had happened? He slowly looked up at me and buried his face in his arms, sobbing. "Darry!" I flew to his side and put my arm on his shoulder. "Darry, whatsa matter?" I asked him shakily. I was really getting frightened. I looked up at Johnny who was standing above me. He shrugged but looked ready to cry himself. I tugged on Darry's arm again. He slowly lifted his head and rested it on my shoulder. I hugged him and we stayed like that for a while. Johnny just stood and stared. "You ok Darry?" he asked when Darry finally got a hold of himself. Darry nodded not looking at either of us. "What was that all about?" I gently prodded. "It ain't too often that Darrel Curtis breaks down like that, you know." he took a deep breath. "It's just that it seems like their just ain't no point anymore Pony. I ain't anything special. Just another greaser deprived of his dreams." It was my turn to stare at him and suddenly remembered some one telling me how Soda and I were the only one's keeping Darry from being a Soc.

"But it ain't that really," he started again, utterly forgetting Johnny was there. "It's just I ain't go nobody. You got Johnny and Soda's got Steve and who do I got? All I ever do is work and after that there ain't no time to do anything else. I never had a girl. Ain't never had any close friends. You know that Pony? I ain't never had any of the things that any normal punk my age would have. And I just hate it. To see how Soda and the rest of the gang have nothin' in the world to care about and I have my plate full. To see them running around with their girls and I have no one. It just ain't fair. And there ain't no way to break it. If I quit working than you and Soda go to a boys home. Then everything would really be lost. Sometimes I feel like you guys are leavin' me. I try so hard to keep us a family. You spend more and more time with Johnny and Soda's either at work or with Steve. We're not as close as we used to be and -" He had begun to cry again only this time more quietly. I felt like someone had but me in a blender. This was how he felt. I felt a wave of guilt was over me. He was right. And I felt so damn guilty that I had never noticed. "I love you Darry." I told him, tears welling up in my eyes. He nodded vaguely as he stared at something on the wall. He sighed and fell back onto his pillow. In about a minute he had fallen into a restless sleep.

Johnny and I tiptoed quietly out of the room and shut the door. The minute we were out of there I stared bawling. "It's all my fault," I cried to Johnny. "I should have noticed this, but was too wrapped up in my own damn self!" Johnny put his hand on my shoulder. "Get a hold of yourself man," he said not unkindly. "Glory Pony, it ain't your fault and the last thing Darry needs is you blaming yourself, so just quit bawlin' and think. The guy's just tired and needs a break." This last statement was so bold that it startled me out of my little break down. I could have kicked myself. Johnny was right. And I thought I was the deep thinker of the gang. Why the hell was I such a baby when it came to these things? But I felt so bad for Darry. I had never expected this and didn't know what to make of the entire situation. My head was spinning. I finally got a hold of my feelings and then went to sit with Johnny and wait for Soda to come home.

I wanted to something with Darry, he doesn't seem to get enough credit so...this it to you Darry...lol

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thanx

xoxox