Taiy-Chan: Hi everyone!!! I've decided to put my insanity to the test and write a Tokyo Mew Mew humor fic! This might be so crazy that your brains might blow up...But that's Ok, right?Also, Ryou does not act like himself for most of this story, just to let you know. Yeah, I've decided to make this a one-shot. It took me so long to put together because I wanted it to be long...er....I've added lots to it. If you've already read some of this, just skip to the part where I had originally ended the chapter, before I made this a one-shot. Anyways, read and review! Enjoy! Anyways, thanks to my friend Linda who came up with the title to this fic. I am quite fond of it. Ok then, as thanks, Linda, would you do the honors?
Linda: Huh? Oh! SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .........what honors?
Taiy-Chan: --UUU The disclaimer.
Linda: OH! Ok! Taiy-Chan doesn't own Tokyo Mew Mew or the title to this fic....I OWN THAT!
My Two Front Teeth
Cafe Mew Mew was just closing when it happened. The Mew Mews had already gone home and Keiichiro was outside, putting the 'Closed' sign on the door.
"What a busy day." Keiichiro muttered. He looked up when he heard a crack of thunder.
'A thunder storm?" Keiichiro thought. 'Ah right! The news said to expect a thunder storm in the evening. I better tell Ryou, for it's dangerous to go into the lab when it's storming.' he quickly turned around and went back inside the cafe, in search of our dear friend, Ryou.
Now, why is it dangerous to go into the lab when it's storming you ask? Well, that's because the machine that holds the DNA of the endangered spices (I know this doesn't exist in the series) can short circet and go off. Which is not a very good thing for you, if you're in the room at the time. Why isn't it good for you, you ask? That's because the DNA will search for the nearest body to merge with. Now, back to the story.....
Ryou walked through the hallway, carrying a cake. Don't ask why, because even I, the author, does not know. Anyways, Ryou actually did realize that it was storming outside, but he wanted to go into the lab to do some research. He knew that Keiichiro would get mad at him if he was in the lab at a time like this without a good reason.
As Ryou approached the lab he stumbled and nearly fell, but, fortunately, he regained his balance and stopped himself from bashing his face in. But, unfortunately, he dropped the cake right into the lab.
"Oops. Looks like I dropped the cake.....into the lab." Ryou said. "I'll just have to go get it....."
Ryou walked into the lab and bent to pick up the cake, which, somehow stayed in perfect shape. I know, weird isn't it? I wonder who comes up with this stuff? I DO OF COURSE! THE AUTHOR!!!!! Anyways....
Suddenly, there was a blinding flash of light. Ryou straightened immediately. Uh oh....it was the DNA holder thinger. One of the samples had gotten lose.
"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE RYOU!" Ryou shouted, but before he could even move, a strong force hit him square in the chest. And then....blackness.
Ryou struggled to open his eyes. They felt like they were glued shut. Wait, did he put glue on his eyes again? No.........He didn't do that anymore. Finally, Ryou opened his eyes......TO FIND THAT HE WAS BLIND!!!!! Oh, wait, that's just a cloth over his eyes. Who put that there? Because of it, he nearly had a heart attack!
Ryou ripped the cloth off his eyes and sat up. Somehow, he had gotten to his room. Ryou jumped when he heard his bedroom door open.
"AHH!! DON'T COME IN! I'M NAKED!!!!" He shouted as he pulled the covers around himself.
Keiichiro sweatdropped and replied in a calm voice:
"Ryou, you are not naked. You are in the same clothes as you were yesterday....Yesterday when you went into the lab!!!!!!!!"
Keiichiro stormed over to Ryou's bed and continued.
"How many times have I told you not to go into the lab when it's thunder storming??!!!!!!!!!!!! A million!!....and one!!! That's how much! And you know what happened to you because of it??!!"
Ryou shook his head, frozen with fear.
"Well I'll tell you! You got merged with a beaver!! A BEAVER!!!!!!! NOT ONLY THAT, IT'S A HYPERACTIVE ONE! WHICH MEANS THAT YOU ARE GOING TO BE CONSTANTLY HYPER!!!!!!!!!!!"
Ryou stared at him, shocked. And then, he figured out what Keiichiro just said and....
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgaspOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOgaspOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he screamed.
"AHH! My ears! They burn..." With that, Keiichiro fell to the ground, unconscious.
Then, suddenly, Ryou heard a commotion outside. He quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the window, throwing it opened. There turned out to be a bunch of Kirima Animas outside just about to attack the Cafe.
"Have no fear!" Ryou shouted. "Mew Ryou is here!!"
Ryou jumped out of the window and ,in mid air, shouted in a really high girl voice:
"Mew Ryou!! METAMORPHIFY-SIS!"
(Heroic music starts to play)
Ryou grew a large beaver tail and two huge, beaver teeth, jutting out of his jaw. Not only that, remember how Ryou was fused with a cat? Well, he had huge cat ears too.
His clothes changed too. He now wore black, baggy pants with a bunch of chains on it and a black t-shirt with a black trench coat over it. He would've looked really cool if he didn't have a tail and huge front teeth. To finish off his costume, he held in his hand a bright, neon pink rod that curled into a spiral at the top. That was his physical appearance. Now, Ryou was like a hyperactive kid. And also, whenever he was in his Mew Mew form, he talked in a really, REALLY high pitched girl voice. And let me tell you, it gets annoying after a while.
Now that his transformation was over, Ryou turned to the Anima.
"How dare you try to attack Mr.Snuffles??" He shouted.(I don't know how he can talk with those huge teeth......) The Kirima Animas looked at each other. Mr.Snuffles? Was that the name of the building in front of them? They thought it was a cafe..but....oh well.
"Prepare to perish at the hands of my rod and my butt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryou screeched. He twirled his rod in the air and cried:
"Ribbon!!!!! Ryona!!" He touched his rod on his butt and a bunch of smoke surrounded his rod. He then lifted it above his head. "FARTONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
A huge (and smelly) shock wave hit the Kirima Animas straight on, destroying all of them. Ryou landed triumphantly on the ground, grinning from ear to ear. He turned back to his regular self.
"That was easy" Ryou coughed and started to do the moonwalk around and around in a circle. ....Go Ryou, go Ryou, it's your birthday." He stared to do the moonwalk around and around in a circle. "I am too sexy for my shirt, to sexy for my shirt!"
"Ryou???" Ryou stopped his dancing and turned around to see the rest of the Mew Mews running toward him. He smiled and started talking as soon as they stopped in front of him.
"Hi girls! Youwouldn'ebelivewhathappenedtobeyesterday. Itwasstormingand IwentintothelabeventhoughitsveryVERYbadtogothere-"
"Wait, wait, wait. Slow down Ryou! What happened?" Ichigo questioned.
Ryou jumped up and down smiling unbelievingly wide. He jumped faster and faster until he was just a blur going up and down to the girls.
"What's....happened to him?" Mint asked, sweatdropping.
Suddenly, Ryou fell to the ground with a thump. The Mew Mews gasped. Keiichiro stepped out of Cafe Mew Mew, holding a dart gun.
"That should put him out for a while." He said.
"Keiichiro.....what....why is Ryou acting....so weird?" Lettuce asked.
Keiichiro smiled and started....
"Well.....It happened like this....."
After Keiichiro explained everything, the girls were in shock. What happened to the Ryou they once knew? Would he help them defeat the aliens now? What will the normal Ryou do when he found this out? They all decided to put turning Ryou back to normal their first priority over everything else.
"Oh! I have a date with Masaya today.' Ichigo gasped. "I'll see you guys later!" and with that, Ichigo walked off.
"So much for first priority..." Mint muttered.
"Where's shhheeee going?" Ryou asked, bouncing around the girls. Mint sweatdropped.
"She's gone on a date with Masaya." she said in monotone. Ryou stopped jumping and stood still, serious. He suddenly got a evil look on his face.
"Is she now?" he said, stroking his chin as if he had a beard there. He suddenly jumped up and started dancing circles around Keiichiro and the Mew Mews.
"Wouldn't it be weird if there was this stuff that you could put on your hands that when you stroke your chin like this," he paused to show them what he meant. "and you grew a beard! That would be soo funny! Anyways, I'm off now bye bye!!!!" Ryou ran off, backwards and waving to the girls....Until he tripped and fell over a garbage can, falling with a thump on his butt.
He jumped back up and waved again to the girls. Ryou then ran off, tripping over his feet twice.
Keiichiro and the girls looked at each other, sweatdropping.
"I wonder where he's going?" Keiichiro muttered, stroking his chin. When he realized this, he stopped abruptly and walked back into the Cafe.
"Life just got a lot more interesting." Mint said. Lettuce, Pudding and Zakuro nodded. They kept on doing so for about five minutes before Mint got angry.
"WILL YOU STOP NODDING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????????????"
Ryou had followed Ichigo's scent and was now hiding behind a tree while she sat on a bench with Masaya. They were talking and laughing, not noticing that they were being watched. Ryou smiled, he had a plan.
Ryou tip-toed up to the couple until he was right behind the bench where they sat. They still yet to notice him. Ryou crouched down and counted.
"5......4......3.....What comes after three???Let's start again..." but unfortunately, he had forgot to keep his voice down. Masaya and Ichigo looked behind them and found Ryou there, counting his figures.
"Ryou..." Ichigo said. "What are you doing here?" Ryou jumped and put one of his fingers to his lips.
"Shhhh.... You didn't see me."
Ichigo shrugged.
"Ok." she said and she and Masaya turned back around and started talking again, as if nothing happened. Once they were back into their conversation, Ryou started counting again.
"Ok.. Five......Eleventy-eleven.....two hundred.......three....nine....one...Zero!!" With that Ryou sprung up from where he was crouched and then screamed as hard and loud as he could in Ichigo and Masaya's ears.
Ichigo screamed herself, and for some reason, Masaya did too. Ryou fell to the ground laughing, clutching his stomach and rolling around on the ground.
"Ryou!!!! That was not funny!!!! I don't even think I can hear anymore!!!" Ichigo shouted.
"That-pant,pant- was sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryou said between gasps.
"What did you say??" Ichigo asked.
Ryou stopped rolling around and sat up.
"I said: That-pant,pant- was sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WHHAAATTT??????"
"I SAID: That-pant,pant- was sooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"WHHAAATTTTT???"
"I SAID; THAT- PANT PANT- WAS SOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryou screamed, speaking as clearly and loudly as he could.
"WHAAAATTTT???" Ichigo shouted back. Masaya looked from one to the other and then shouted:
"WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT!!!!!!???????" Ryou turned to looked at him and shouted back:
"ICHIGO ASKED ME WHAT I WAS SAID AND I SAID 'I SAID: THAT- PANT PANT- WAS SOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!' AND THEN SHE'S LIKE 'WHHAAATTT?' AND THEN I'M LIKE: THAT- PANT PANT- WAS SOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEN SHE'S LIKE-"
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY??" Masaya screamed, interrupting the beaver fused man. Ryou looked at him.
"I THINK YOU TWO ARE DEAF!!!!!" he shouted at them.
"WHAATT!!!!!?????" Masaya and Ichigo screamed. Ryou leapt to his feet and opened his mouth to shout something else when Masha flew in front of his face.
"Ryou! Ryou! The Cafe has been attacked! We need you and Mew Ichigo's help!" It said.
"Right-oh!!!!! Come on Mew Ichigo!" Ryou said, turning to the girl.
"WHAT DID YOU SAY!??! SPEAK LOUDER!!!!!!!"
"I SAID-Oh, forget it. Off we go!!" and with that, Ryou and Masha ran off to go help their friends. Well, Masha flew, but that's okay.
Back at the Cafe, Ryou ran up to find the place in ruins.
"Oh my God! The Cafe got attacked!" he said. He thought for a moment. "Wait..I knew that..." He shook himself and ran to the destroyed Cafe to search for the other Mew Mews.
He found them all in the middle of the wreak. They were all piled on top of one another, in a big pile. The Mew Mews there were all transformed and very dirty.When Ryou first spotted them, he burst into uncontrollable laughter at the sight.. Well, until they all screamed at him to get them out and/or up.
Ryou walked over to them and started to pick them up.
"Where's Mew Ichigo?" Lettuce asked once she was lifted out of the pie...I mean... Pile....
"Well.....she.....I don't know." Ryou answered.
"Oh." and they left it at that.
It turned out that Keiichiro was at the bottom of the pile. Once everyone was up and moving again, the aliens came back.
"Just like the cat who came back! I LUURRVE that song! The cat came back.. Lalalalala....la...." Ryou slowly stopped singing, having forgotten the rest of the song. Everyone looked at him like he was a complete loon(which he was).
Kish coughed and then pointed at Ryou.
"You Mew Mews are going down, and you'll be the first to die!" Ryou looked up at the alien and smiled brightly.
"Hi there! Who are you? Oh, and Michelle says: how's you father."
"I never knew my father!" Kish cried. He buried he face in Ryou's shirt.
"There there.... Now, would you mind getting off me? It's a little freaky having a guy cry into my shirt..." Ryou said, trying to pry the alien off.
"What do you mean?" Kish asked.
"Uhh...That...I'm not gay...DUH! I'M TOO HOT TO BE GAY!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!!!!" Ryou started to dance around while shouting like a maniac....again...
Kish leapt into the air.
"I can't believe this! My heart is broken! WAAA!!!!!!!!" and with that, he disappeared into a puff of smoke.
Everyone- except for Ryou- sweatdropped and looked at each other.
"Uhhh...Okay..." Tart muttered.
"What was that all about?" Mint asked. Everyone shrugged. They all turned to Ryou.
"Did you plan that?" they all asked at once. Ryou looked at each one of them. From Lettuce to Mint, to Zakuro, to Keiichiro, to Mr.Snuffles(Oo WTF??), to Tart and finally, to Pie.
"Plan what?" he asked. There was a loud crash as everybody around him fell, anime style.
"What? What are we talking about?" Ryou asked, bewildered.
"Nevermind." Mint said, shaking her head. "Anyways, back to fighting!!!!!!!!!"
"Right-oh!!!!!!" Everyone shouted in response, saluting Mint. Ryou held up his hand and shouted:
"Mew Mew Ryou!!!!!!!!!! Metamorphihpyyyysis!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(look, I know that's not how you spell metamorphasis, but that's what they sound like they're saying in the anime.)
Ryou was, once again, transformed into the great beaver fighter!
"For you're evil actions, we will make you pay nuck nuck!!" Ryou said, pointing at the aliens. (what sounds do beavers make anyways?)
"As if!" Tart shouted back. Ryou turned to the other Mew Mews.
"You must lend me your powers!" he cried in his high-pitched voice.. They nodded and their weapons glowed and joined into Ryou's staff(oooer). The neon weapon glowed many colours, Ryou held it above his head and smiled triumphantly at Tart and Pie.
"Prepare to....perish!!!!" He shouted. He lifted the staff(OOoer..I'll stop now..) above his head.
"Ribbon.....Ryona...." He touched his rod to his butt and a puff of green smoke surrounded his glowing, neon, staff(oooe-nevermind..)"FARTONA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Ryou whipped his rod around to it pointed at the aliens. They were hit with a huge, smelly, green/brown blast of energy...or...gas...whatever. Tart and Pie screamed and disappeared in a puff of purple smoke.
"And once again the day is saved by......Tokyo Mew Mew! Nuck Nuck!" Ryou shouted, punching the air. The other Mew Mews and Keiichiro cheered. Slowly, the Mew Mews began to change back to normal, including Ryou. Their costumes disappeared and they were left in their normal clothes.
"There is no need for Tokyo Mew Mew anymore. You guys saved the world." Keiichiro said, smiling. "Also," he walked over to Ryou. "You, should be back to normal now." The girls turned to look at the blond boy.
"That's right. Now that I've got the hyperactive beaver DNA out of me, I'll never be crazy again....maybe...." Ryou said. The others sighed with relief.
The sun was just starting to set, its beautiful colours making our heroes smile. Keiichiro turned to Ryou.
"But it was fun, wasn't it?" he asked. Ryou smiled and nodded.
"Sure was." he said and skipped off into the sunset singing:
"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth, yes my two front teeth, my two front teeth......"
Taiy-Chan: I'm finally finished! The reason I made this a one-shot was because I thought it would turn out better that way. I, personally, think it's pretty good. Anyways, just to let you know, I don't own the song My Two Front Teeth, k? Anyways, see that little button on the left hand corner? No not the one that says bash Jose(I wonder how that got there? whistles innocently). The one that says Go? Well, if you just clicky on that.....CANDY AND SUGAR FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Linda: What she's trying to say is.....I REALLY LIKE CANDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .....I mean......She means that you should review........Prettily please??