KFC: From One Colonel to Another

Rated: G

Summary: The team joins Jack for Thanksgiving Day. Enjoy!

Season: Season 7 or 8, though I guess it doesn't really matter.

Spoilers: Not at the moment.

Disclaimer: Mine, mine, mine!!!! Um... no, they're not.

A/N: Hey everybody! In one of my other stories, "Under the Stars", I brought up the subject of Thanksgiving, so I decided to write a Thanksgiving story. You don't have to read that story, but that's just where this idea came from. I also wrote another shorter Thanksgiving story recently called "Dinner Impossible". It was inspired when I started to write this one. So again, not really connected but... Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoy!

A/N2: I'm dedicating this story to the guy in the computer lab at my school who saw what I was typing (this story) and asked about it. If you ever read this, you're one of only three people outside of this site who knows about this hobby! Say hi to your Dad for me :D

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For a time, nobody moved. Sam just turned off the engine, removed the keys, and folded her hands in her lap. She took a deep breath.

"All right guys, getting together like this every year really means a lot to the Colonel. We've got to be strong, we've got to be brave, and, most important of all, we must not throw up."

"Hey, that wasn't us!" Daniel defended Teal'c and himself.

"All right, all right, I won't throw up. But neither of you can drop your food in the plants when the Colonel turns his back."

"Major Carter, I had no other means of defense."

"Guys! This is not the attitude I want to hear! Now we are going to put on happy faces, go into that house, and enjoy a relaxing if not toxic dinner with Colonel O'Neill. And you're going to enjoy it, is that understood?"

"Fine," Daniel grumbled.

"I will try, but I will make no promises."

"That's all I ask. Okay, let's go."

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"Just a minute!" Jack yelled. Grabbing a nearby potholder, he ran over to the stove.

Which one to save first? Should it be the peas? The corn? Dare he sacrifice the carrots?! Yes, he'd had to make tough decisions in his line of work, but how could he do this? How could he choose one over the other? What gave him the right to play God? There had to be another way! If anyone could do it, he could. He was a colonel for cryin' out loud.

"No one gets left behind!" he muttered as with one final breath he charged into the steamy air around the stove and grabbed the carrots, turned off the peas, and took the sweet potatoes out of the oven.

Very pleased with himself, he went to answer the door. He was about to open it but pulled a hand back to straighten his hair, tug at his shirt, and throw a dish towel nonchalantly over his shoulder.

Now he was ready. He swung the door open with gusto.

"Hey, the gang's all here! So good of you to come. Dinner's just about ready. Make yourselves at home."

His team stood still in uncertainty.

"Well? What are you all waiting for? Carter?"

"I think something's burning, sir."

Jack took a moment to sniff the air.

"Darn, the corn!"

He ran back to the kitchen and reached for the lone pot.

"Ow, ow, ow," he muttered, becoming aware of the lack of potholder.

"Sir, do you need some help in there?"

"Carter, you're the last person I'd expect to see on 'Cooking with Julia'. Remember Christmas of '99?"

"Hey that wasn't my fault," she defended while tying an apron around her waist. "The firemen discovered I had faulty wiring."

"Uh-huh. Grab that dish over there would you? Some of these are still good."

"Hey, can we do anything to help?" Daniel and Teal'c called from the other room.

"Thanks guys, but we've got everything under control."

"We do?"

"Carter, just stir that until it's not hard anymore."

"This is gravy, sir."

"And your point is? Daniel, why don't you and Teal'c set the table?"

Daniel and Teal'c cast furtive glances at the food as they entered the kitchen.

"You know, I hear there's this great new place just around the corner..."

"Daniel!"

Daniel took the plates grudgingly. Sam shot him a half smile. At least he'd tried.

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Sam tried. She honestly did.

"Sir, I think this is broken."

"It's gravy, Carter. It can't break."

"I'm talking about the spoon."

"Oh. Here, let me give it a try."

He grabbed another spoon and took a firm hold on the pot. He gave it all he had, but it was not enough. Throwing the pot into the sink with disgust, he took in the destruction around him. The overly dead turkey, the fire-extinguished corn, the parched peas. All his hard work in vain.

Sam couldn't help but smile at his grumpy face as she brushed her fingers against his nose.

"What?" he snapped.

"You had flour on your nose."

"Did not."

"Did."

"Colonels don't get flour on their noses. It's a rule."

"I think it looks cute."

"But, hey, rules were made for breaking," he put an arm around her shoulders. "You know what Carter? I'm going to teach you a very important lesson."

"What's that?"

"Know when to surrender."

He headed over to the phone, Sam close at his heels.

"Sir, are you sure?" she asked not yet daring to hope.

"Positive."

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"Teal'c, this was a great idea," Daniel said as he unfolded the card table.

"Perhaps it will make the meal somewhat less offensive."

"Yeah well, all we can do is try, right?"

"I believe next year I will offer to prepare a traditional Chulak meal in honour of this day."

"What kind of foods would you eat on Chulak for a Thanksgiving celebration?"

"The heart of a karentog and liver of the great lento."

"Oh... that's nice."

"Indeed."

"Guys, we're finished cooking. Where are you?"

"Up here. We thought it would be kind of fun."

"On the roof? How are we supposed to get up there with all this food?"

"You didn't burn it all to a crisp?" Daniel tried to hide his disappointment.

"Not this stuff," Sam peaked her head over the edge, balancing precariously on the ladder. She proudly held up the fruit of her efforts.

"Kentucky Fried Chicken! Teal'c, we're saved!"

"Hey now, be nice. We worked really hard on... Daniel, get that drumstick out of your mouth! Carter hasn't even gotten off the ladder yet."

"Sorry," he mumbled while stealthily handing Teal'c a piece behind his back before offering Sam a hand up.

"O'Neill, Major Carter. I am most relieved."

"Yeah well, you may have thought we were trying to poison you, but we really do care about you guys... and ourselves."

"And I figure, Colonel Sanders isa colonel, I'm a colonel. You're getting food from a colonel one way or another."

"Guys, this looks really beautiful," Sam praised them as she took in the view. The sun was almost completely set. Stars were beginning to peak out. Candles were placed sporadically about, set low so they would be shielded from the wind. Even the card table was spread with a white tablecloth for the occasion.

They finally managed to get all the food onto the roof and dished out onto the card table. Before they began to eat, they stood back to admire their work.

"So what do you think guys? Do I get to cook again next year?"

"Actually, Teal'c has offered to prepare the heart of karentog."

"It would be my honour."

"Really?"

"But perhaps we should continue this tradition instead."

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The End!

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Hope you enjoyed! And since I just realized it, let's pretend that it wouldn't be too cold to eat outside this time of year :D

Best wishes and lots of love!

macisgate