Hello! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. It is a little bit shorter than I planned it to be. Sorry. Thank you for the reviews! They were happy! If you would like to leave a review, remember, NO flames please. But constructive criticism will be accepted. Well, happy readings!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters or Mr. Ukki. But I do own the plot.

Chapter 5: a jar of pickles, a chair, and a new plan

Gaara was trying to find his way out of this mental house. Anko was right. When he tried to knock down the doors and windows with his sand, it wouldn't budge. He had tried everything he could think of.

He first tried yelling his lungs out, but he soon gave up because he was losing his voice (since he had been doing that a few hours earlier). He tried to make a call to Tsunade, the current Hokage:

"Hello? Tsunade, the fifth and cutest Hokage speaking."

"HELP ME PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Gaara yelled (hey, he still had enough voice volume to do that).

"What seems to be the problem?" she asked calmly.

"THIS PSYCHO MENTAL JOUNIN WOMAN IS BABYSITTING ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"And the problem is?"

"SHE'S A LUNATIC, I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! A MENTAL CASE!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE KEEPS ON TREATING ME AS IF I'M A BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SHE'S EVEN DRESSED ME IN BABY CLOTHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Really?" she asked excitedly. "Is it piggies or duckies? I hope you're wearing piggies! They're so kawaii!"

Gaara quickly hung up the phone. Okay. That was disturbing. He thought to himself.

He had run out of ideas. Now, there was only one last thing he could count on. He walked over to the kitchen and opened the fried. He grinned evilly to himself as he found what he was looking for. He pulled out the almighty... JAR OF PICKLES!!!!!!!!!

He giggled giddily. He rushed over to the LARGE lock on the doorknob on a door. He lifted the jar above his head. "DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" he yelled as he began to pound the lock with the pickle jar. "MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!"

Of course, after a few hits, the jar cracked and pickles spilled all over. He stared at the jar in his hand. "Poo..." he looked down and picked up a pickle. His eyes turned into horseshoes. "YAY! PICKLES!" he yelled as he took a large bite.

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Anko walked though her door, to find Gaara sprawled out on her floor, stuffed with pickles. Lee followed her. He raised one of his eyebrows. Anko ignored Lee's expression and picked Gaara up in her arms(she had to put the ramen out on the table first).

Gaara opened an eye. "Ugh... get away..."

Anko smiled. "Now, now Gaara-kun. You have been eating too much. Poor gaarie warie needs a nappie wappie," she baby talked. She dropped him onto her couch and left him all alone.

Anko turned to Lee. "Come into the kitchen. We need to talk."

Lee nodded, still all too amazed of Gaara. This didn't look like much of a party to him. They three were the only people here. He quickly sat himself at Anko's table, which was currently groaning under the weight of ramen boxes and containers.

Anko also took a seat. She placed her head in her hands. "So, Lee, right?"

Lee nodded. "Yes ma'am." She was a Jounin that had been in charge of an event at the Chuunin exam. He had to give her the proper respect.

"Lee, are your parents at home? Do you need a babysitter?" her eyes glistened.

"Actually, they're in Antartica."

"Really?"

"Yeah. But I'm old enough not to have a babysitter, don't you think?"

Anko smiled that insane smile of hers again. "Lee, Lee, Lee. You are so naïve. What would your sensei say if he knew you were unsurpervised?"

"Gai-sensei would be disappointed to know that," Lee admitted.

Anko clapped her hands. "YAY! ANOTHER NEW BABY TO BABYSIT!!!!"

Lee grew disturbed.

Anko leaned across the table to stare into his eyes. "You have sexy eyebrows."

Lee scooted his chair away from her. Oro?

Anko stood up and walked over to Lee slowly. "Lee-kun..."

"I, uh, have to be going now..." Lee said as he tried to get out of his seat. But, for some reason, he couldn't budge. He looked down and saw manacles on his wrists and ankles, attached to the chair. "What the...?"

Anko smiled evilly. "Lee-kun..." she whipped out an eyebrow plucker and a tube of super glue. "You have sexy eyebrows."

Lee screamed.

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"All right, Naruto. Grab the plant. Carefully now. Carefully," Sasuke instructed. "It may be a trap for all we know."

"Bah! I betcha he won't even know it's gone! Like this is really gonna be a trap!" Naruto said loudly. He reached out for the unprotected plant. One finger touched it. Now two. Three. Four. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! I told you, Sasuke! This wasn't a trap! Look who's wrong now! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" he yelled as he and Sasuke were tossed up into the sky, flinging them back into the busy streets of Konoha

Kakashi stepped out of his door and smiled. "Stupid evil pink blood sucking Orochimaru monkeys. They thought they could steal Mr. Ukki but I've shown them once again!"

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"Big brother Naruto! Don't die!" Konohamaru yelled as he began to punch Naruto's chest. "Breathe! Breathe!"

Naruto's eyes opened wide and he sputtered. "Get off!"

"Yay! Big brother Naruto is alive!" yelled Konohamaru and his two comrades.

At that moment, Sasuke also woke up. He sat up and glared at Naruto. "You are the worst."

"Hey, hey, hey! I've got a plan!" Naruto said, even though he didn't.

"Oh really?" Sasuke smirked. "What is it?"

Naruto looked around, trying to search for an answer. "Uh..." then his eyes landed on the three children. He smiled (A/N: Boy, people do smile a lot in this fanfic). "Say, Konohamaru?"

"Yes, big brother?"

"Let's play a little game..."

Reviewer Responses:

Rednal 29: I might do Neji but most likely I won't, but if I do, I'll inform you at the first of the chapter.

And everyone else: thank you my faithful readers. I appreciate the appraisal. It makes me happy! If you would like to review, please remember NO flames please. They aren't very nice. But I will happily accept constructive criticism! Thank you!