Chapter Three
"Sirs? It? Where are you gents?"
Colin searched and searched and searched. And looked. Did I mention he searched?
But he could not find his friends.
"I've lost them forever!" he cried, and began to cry, like a little baby.
Colin is such a baby. He can't even handle losing his friends. What a loser!
"Shut up!" Colin cried, still moaning like a baby. "I am not!" he yelled childleshly.
Suddenly the purple monkey appeared.
"Yay!" Colin said. "Where are the others?"
The monkey said nothing, but humped Colin's leg.
"HELP!" Colin screamed. "I'M BEING RAPED BY A PURPLE MONKEY!"
"His name is Peter," Grit muttered.
"I thought it was Pete," Olaf protested.
"Well, it's both, really." Grit said. "Pete Peter Peterson."
"Wow," Colin said.
Arthas suddenly appeared out of thin air. Olaf had a heart attack and died.
Wait a minute.
Yes?
You said last chapter that killing off the characters would be stupid.
And?
You just killed off Olaf.
...shut up!!!
When Arthas appeared, Olaf SO didn't have a heart attack. He just screamed. Like Grit. Yeah.
"Shut up!" Arthas said.
"I didn't say anything," Colin responded.
"Wanna hear a story?" Arthas said.
"Okay!" Grit said.
"Once upon a time this HQ exploded," Arthas said. "And I lived. And so did you guys."
"Wow, I can't wait to hear what's next!" Olaf said.
"This is boring," Colin muttered. "I want ice cream!"
"Too bad," Arthas said.
"But I wanna!" Colin sobbed like the little baby he is.
"Too bad," Arthas repeated. "Anyway, I'm gonna go get me some nachos. Who wants to come with?"
"Me!" Grit yelled. But then there was an avalanche, even though there weren't any mountains! They were all covered in snow.
Sooner or later, this one guy came and walked over the new piles of snow made by the avalanche. He was carrying a book and a picnic basket, and then he put the picnic basket down and began to make a picnic for himself. He also put the book on the ground, because he dropped it.
Suddenly a GIANT ZOMBIE HAND CAME OUT OF THE SNOW! OMFG! Actually, it was just Olaf's. But the guy had a heart attack anyway.
Olaf came out of the snow, followed by Grit and Colin. But not Arthas. Funny story, really. Arthas had gotten lost in the snow tunnels, because there were somehow tunnels even though it was a fresh avalanche. So he got lost, and eventually froze to death 15 years later.
"Where's Arthas?" Colin asked.
Read what I just said, fool.
"I'm not a fool!" Colin said.
Yes you are.
He so is a fool.
"Shut up!" Colin demanded.
"So... how about those nachos?" Olaf asked.
"Screw nachos," Grit said. "I want pizza!"
"Nachos!" Olaf screamed.
"Pizza!" Grit retorted somehow.
"Nachos!"
"Pizza!"
"Nachos!"
"Pizza!"
Burgers!
Olaf shot the italics guy. "Nachos!"
Colin looked around. "Look, it's an indian!"
The indian came and impaled Colin with a spoon.
"Ow," Colin said. Then he died.
Wait.
No.
How come Colin dies?
Because he's a whiny baby.
But that's not a-
Shut up. We'll continue this in Chapter Four.
The End! (Of Chapter Four)
This chapter's too short.
Shut up, the chapter's over.
But it's too short.
Is that my problem?
It could be.
It doesn't seem like it right now...
It'll be soon, don't worry.
Can you please shut up?
No.
I'll give you pie...
Yum!
There we go.