Chapter Seven: Goodbyes
"Vegeta…" whispered Goku, taking in Vegeta's new form.
Vegeta swished his long tail behind him, then held it upright, like a question mark.
"Do you like it? I think it's quite an improvement on super saiyan three, don't you think?"
Vegeta's voice had gone much deeper, and made the hairs on the back of Goku's neck bristle. He brought his tail in front of him, and created a red energy ball, balanced on the very tip. It was about the size of Goku's head, and there was easily enough energy in it to destroy the Earth.
He walked closer to Goku, the rain seeming to fall around his body, not on him. The sky had gone a blackish red and lightening scorched down into the ground all around them. It seemed as though Vegeta was the centre of the storm, but Goku was wondering if it wasn't entirely impossible that Vegeta had created the storm. But the younger saiyan felt scared.
He didn't know what else to feel.
Vegeta stopped about a metre away from him. Goku noticed that they were the same height now, and Vegeta's bangs had grown back, except they spiked out and down to his cheekbones. He couldn't read Vegeta's eyes for any idea of feeling or mood. He'd never had a problem deciphering the black that was once there. Vegeta has always shown everything in his eyes, but no one ever bothered to look. Vegeta looked at the ball on the tip of his tail, then dissipated it. He looked at Goku, and smirked.
"I guess I should thank you, Kakarot, for allowing me to break into this new form. After all, it is triggered by intense emotion. Pain. Hurt. Anger. I felt all these emotions, thanks to you."
Vegeta put a slight emphasis on the last word, as his tail curled around Goku's bicep and tightened, like a white python. Goku tensed up, as he tried to not agitate Vegeta any further.
"Vegeta, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this…"
Vegeta snapped his tail away.
"SORRY?!" without moving, Vegeta sent out an energy field and sent Goku flying backwards. He recovered, and flicked onto his feet, already in battle stance. Vegeta's aura flared up, the red swirling around him, a vortex of anger fuelled energy.
'Dammit, Kakarot! Why don't you understand!? This goes so much deeper than you realize!"
Goku blinked, then stood up straight.
"Explain to me Vegeta, where did I go wrong?"
Vegeta whipped his tail once, as though in irritation.
"Fool! How can someone like you, the fucking savior of the planet, be so blind? So damn blind!"
"Vegeta, I don't understand!" Goku yelled, over the sound of the fire crackling nearer, over the lightening and the thunder. Vegeta disappeared, then reappeared behind him. His tail wrapped itself around the other Saiyan's chest, pinning his arms to the side as he lifted him into the air and kept him there with a firm grip. Not to hurt him, but just to have a 'captive' audience.
"Then I'll make you understand. For ten years, all I've done is love you. Yes, Kakarot, love. You heard me. All I wanted was you, and I could never even have you. You would never want to love me, a sinner. A devil in saiyan form.
An angel like you, and Vegeta? I thought that, well, at least I had our friendship to fall back on. I was the only one that called you Kakarot. You were my everything! You were the reason I got out of bed every morning, the reason why I'm still on this putrid planet! But all that changed when you met her…"
Vegeta's voice went softer, and he lowered Goku down to the ground, unraveling his tail and allowing it to fall to the ground around Goku's feet. Goku looked confused, and sad at the same time. Vegeta looked down at the ground, his voice sounding a little cracked.
"I lost you to her. I lost everything. Do you have any idea how much it hurts, right here?"
Vegeta put his hand on his chest, over his heart, clutching the black fabric. Goku wanted to see his face so badly, but Vegeta kept staring down.
"My closest friend wasn't there any more. He wasn't my friend any more, but a stranger. The one who made me truly happy broke my heart. I only wanted you to be happy. If that meant a new girlfriend, I could deal with that. Sure, my heart would crack, but if you were happy, then it wouldn't hurt so much. At least, I thought I would be okay. How could I ever do anything that would hurt you, or make you unhappy?"
Vegeta looked up, and Goku saw that his eyes had returned to normal, even though the rest of his body was still transformed. Goku found himself wanting to cry. The loneliness in Vegeta's eyes seemed to seep into the air around him, and affect Goku. Vegeta's voice went a little lower.
"But, then you started canceling our sessions together. You drew away from me completely. You placed her above me in your affections. At first, I coped. You were happy, and that's all that mattered. Then you completely forgot my birthday, and to twist the knife a little more, you spent it with her. You know what an important year the eightieth is, don't you?"
"Yes." Goku's voice was soft.
"It is the first milestone year, of three. As special to Saiyans as the 21st year here on Earth. And you forgot it. You were the only person absent at my party today. If every one else had forgot, and you remembered, it would have been just as wonderful. But, fuck, it hurts, Kakarot. It hurts that you chose her over me, in the most important day of MY year."
Goku was speechless. He knew that Vegeta liked him, but LOVED? Why didn't he notice it before? Everything was falling into place with an audible thump. All the attention, all the jokes, the photos, all the moments…Goku was kicking himself as hard as he could on the inside. Why didn't I notice? Am I that self-absorbed?
Vegeta interrupted Goku's thoughts.
"So, I came over to your house, just to find out exactly why you didn't come, and I found something outside your door."
Goku froze.
Oh no…not that. Please not that…
"I found our friendship box. On top of your dustbin. All the cards, all the photos, all the memories, all trashed. As though they were unimportant… As though I was unimportant."
Vegeta allowed the tears to slide down his face. He was way past caring anymore if anyone saw.
The tears seemed to trigger something in Goku.
Guilt, perhaps. Remorse, maybe.
Then he noticed something freaky. The tears were formed of blood. Vegeta looked so miserable. He stared at Goku, pleading silently, but for what, Goku didn't know.
"Vegeta, I have to move on, just please understand that…"
"MOVE ON!? YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON!?"
Vegeta stepped backwards, his eyes turning red again.
Goku gulped.
"WHAT ABOUT ME, KAKAROT?! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?! I JUST GAVE YOU MY HEART DAMMIT, AND YOU STAND THERE LIKE A FUCKING JERK AND TELL ME THAT YOU NEED TO MOVE ON?! YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE UP OUR FRIENDSHIP OF TWENTY SEVEN GREAT YEARS FOR HER??!!"
"Vegeta, calm down…" Goku started backing away slowly, as Vegeta's aura exploded out of his body, swirling like a hurricane around him.
"STOP SAYING THAT! THAT'S ALL I'VE BEEN DOING! I CAN'T DEAL WITH YOUR TWO-FACEDNESS ANYMORE, YOU BACKSTABBING BASTARD!"
Goku had had enough. He wasn't going to stand and be insulted just because he was trying to start a new life. He powered up to super saiyan three, although it was incredibly pathetic compared to Vegeta's power.
"Enough, Vegeta! You're so fucking SELFISH! Why can't you just be happy for me?! Why can't you just understand that I have to move on?!"
Goku flew forward and tried to land a punch on Vegeta's jaw, but his fist was stopped with a single finger. He didn't even see Vegeta move, nor could he track his movements. He gasped as a fist landed in his solar plexus, followed by a flurry of blows made by a saiyan that he couldn't even see. A knee to the stomach, a kick to the back and an elbow into the neck, then a double fisted slam sent Goku plunging to the ground, slamming hard into the inflexible earth. He tried to get to his feet, but couldn't. Instead, he got to his hands and knees, head hanging as he coughed out blood. Vegeta landed in front of him, tail swishing from side to side.
"Don't be such an idiot, Kakarot. You know better than to attack some one six times your strength."
Goku looked up and wiped the blood away from his mouth with the back of his hand as he glared at Vegeta. Vegeta's tail curled around his chest, and brought him to his feet. He retracted his tail slowly, as they stared each other down. Then Vegeta sighed.
"I'm not the selfish one here, Kakarot. I didn't come here to fight you. I came to say goodbye."
"I'm going back into space, so that you can be happy with Claudia. I wanted to tell you how I felt though, before I left. I just wasn't expecting you to throw it all back in my face. You know, Kakarot, Saiyans only cry blood tears when their souls and hearts are so crushed that their emotional pain manifests itself in blood tears, straight from the heart. Not that my pain matters to you, does it? My name isn't Claudia, after all. If you want to end this friendship, then so be it. From now on, we're just associates, since that's how you want it."
Vegeta took a step back.
Goku didn't know what to say. So he said the first thing on his mind.
"I loved you too, Vegeta, I promise you, I did. If I'd known that you'd felt the same way, then things would have been different. Y-y-you don't have to leave."
Goku just wanted to hold Vegeta, and somehow make it all okay again.
But Vegeta looked even angrier.
"You have a strange way of showing how much you care. I never knew that throwing away a friendship was one of them." spat Vegeta. Goku looked away. He was starting to feel helpless.
"if we both have mutual feelings, why can't we try? Why can't we even attempt being together? Kakarot, I don't want to leave, but I can't bear to see her taking everything away from me. Why can't there be an 'us'?" pleaded Vegeta. A trail of blood tears curved down his face, and Goku felt even worse.
Please don't…don't cry Vegeta. I don't know how to make it better…
"I don't want to hurt Claudia, Vegeta. She doesn't deserve it."
This was the wrong thing to say.
Vegeta looked up, and started growling again. He balled his fists, red energy balls forming around each, formed purely out of anger.
"Oh, and I should get hurt then, instead of her?! She doesn't even have a clue what hardship is! Yet I should suffer? My entire life has been tough, I've lived a private hell for decades, and the one person that could ever heal me and make it stop hurting chooses a fucking human that he's only known for two months! I GUESS I'LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, NO MATTER HOW FUCKING HARD I TRY!"
Vegeta started floating upwards, the energy balls getting larger on each hand. Goku stood his ground. He didn't see that he was doing anything wrong. So, he said the words that he would regret more than anything else he did that day.
"GO THEN, YOU SELFISH BASTARD! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS THAT A HUMAN TOOK YOUR PLACE! GET OVER YOUR ARROGANT SELF, VEGETA! I DON'T NEED YOU, AND I DON'T NEED THE GANG EITHER! ALL I NEED IS CLAUDIA! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN! GO TO SPACE AND LEAVE ME TO LIVE MY OWN LIFE! IT'LL BE BETTER WITHOUT YOU, YOU POSSESIVE ASSHOLE!"
Vegeta stared at Goku for a second, then a scowl twisted his features. He put his hands next to each other, thumbs touching.
"SO BE IT, CLOWN! SAY GOODBYE! I'LL SEE YOU IN HELL, COWARD! DOUBLE BIG BANG ATTACK!"
Narrowing his eyes, Vegeta injected even more energy into the balls, then sent them off. The two balls streaked towards Goku, separating and attacking from opposite directions. The last thing Goku remembered was putting up an energy shield and covering his head with his arms. A red flash of light, and then there was nothing.
An- another long AN, but necessary!
Yes, well, this is about as stupid as Goku gets. He will improve from here on, especially after Trunks and Goten have a word with him!
Jay girl – Claudias death will come, and it is not very pleasant, that I can promise you!
Musaka14 – It's a good idea to run, especially when big bang attacks are involved. But please feel free to resume beating Claudia.
Ozumas girl – don't worry, he won't remain insane for ever. But what do you all think of my ssj4? No pink fur!
Goleta – the dark Vegeta speaks the truth!
Veggies boo- perhaps one of my best reviews ever…you never know, but a certain female ninja might just make an appearance…along with a very sharp, pointy sword! Ps, Geta doesn't want Claudias filthy blood on his hands, and I have a very unpleasant demise planned for her…hehe.
A Paler Shade of Blue – you flatter me too much. Sharpen that stick girl! Ps, check Veggie boos review. It might give you a hint as to the demise of Claudia, just in more detail!
Midnight- flame- princess – they'll work it out, or , at least, Goku will stop being a member of the bloody Ginyu force!
Nay – another person not sympathetic for Goku…I don't blame ya!