Summary – Sasuke wants Itachi to see who he is, to recognize him and make him what he's worth.

Author notes – Naruto and it's characters do not belong to her.

Author's notes – This may be slightly AU-ish, it's a continuation of 'Itachi Aniki by Me' but focuses more not on their past relationship but on what Sasuke expects of Itachi and, more subtly, what Itachi expects of Sasuke.

Enjoy.

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It was a lie, maybe not so obviously, still a lie. In fact, it's hanging on the edge of being true. Maybe it isn't really a lie after all. That's a lie too. I don't really know what to make of it. I do want to kill Itachi, even though he is my brother, but maybe it isn't all about revenge at all. I don't know, I wouldn't know.

Do you know?

Not much of what I have ever done seems to justify to Itachi who I am to him. Am I his younger brother? Am I person who will kill him? Perhaps. It still remains to be seen. Am I his pursuer in all things excluding love? Yes. Am I a ninja worthy? No. You see, that is the problem. I'm half sick of shadows.

But you were never in one, were you?

A pothole, yes, a pothole, that's what he left behind. A pothole of things, of doubts, of emotions, of questions, of expectations. Right in the middle of a road, my road, for me to trip over and fall into. I think that he knew what he had done very clearly, even when his eyes had been stained with blood and death. Perhaps he had chosen to spare me, but every time I think that, anger rises in me, along with self-doubt. It's not about the question of whether I was worth anything, or nothing. It's about whether what I am worth, what I can be, what I am, what does it all mean to him, does he recognize it? Aniki has always had the clearest foresight of all the Anbu Ninjas, that's why he was a captain, but somehow he was blind to me.

You can't see that can you?

I still wonder what Aniki think he's doing, because he doesn't want to see, that he doesn't comprehend me. Obviously I envy him, sometimes. When I get into my when-the-hell-did-Naruto-become-so-strong moods, I envy him, if he can kill his best friend, so can I. It's simply a matter of whether I must. He's psychedelic, in both senses you could say. 'Flashy entrance, Flashy exit' He could be like Orochimaru at times. I can almost see the bright lights dancing around him and Kisame when they stride in and tell every one to stick-up-their-hands-and-this-is-a-robbery! But there are some things I wouldn't ever trade with him. Having Naruto and Sakura as partners isn't half as bad as having Kisame for a partner. For one, Naruto and Sakura don't smell half as fishy as Kisame does. You know, something like that.

But you don't know, because you aren't listening to me, are you?

As I said, it wasn't really a lie, perhaps it's more of not telling the entire truth. Two wrongs don't make a right, it's like how two brother's don't have to be entirely happy with each other. Negative negative only really works out in mathematics I suppose. Perhaps it's about hating what you are. Perhaps it's more about hating what you are to others. To people, I'm a shadow, I hate it. Shikamaru would probably hate me for saying that, that is if he ever makes the effort to. I'm half sick of shadows.

You don't ever do make an effort, do you?

Behind ever statement, there's always a hidden meaning, a hidden question. As is now, what do you see me as, Aniki? There's always that hidden question every time I see you, but you never see it. Is it because you just can't, or is it because you don't wish to? There are only so many times you can avoid my question. And when that time comes, will you hear me? Are you afraid of me, Aniki, do you just want to be impartial to what I have become? Tell me. I'm not a child anymore Aniki, I'm not scared of ghosts. Do you hate me? Do you even recognize me? My name is Uchiha Sasuke, I am not just your kid younger brother, not just a fellow ninja like you, I am Uchiha Sasuke, I am what you make me. (1)

What do you make of me Aniki, what do you?

Don't make everything I've ever worked for become a lie Itachi. I'm already half sick

of your shadows.

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(1) A reference to the prologue of the novel 'Bonsetter's daughter' by Amy Tan. I'm trying t o create a situation similar to hers with Sasuke. Luling tries to remember her Mother's family name and she repeatedly beseeches her mother, whom she calls Precious Auntie, to help her remember her identity. Similarly, Sasuke is trying to find out who he really is to his brother, and asks (though it comes across as rather demanding than asking) him to tell him the answer to the question of his identity. This isn't a very significant reference, but it's interesting to know.