Squall and Aeris – Mideel

(Aeris is sitting a candlelit table, next to the Lifestream Lake.)

Aeris: Hmm… I hope this guy is nice.

(Squall appears.)

Aeris: Hi! You must be Squall! I'm Aeris; it's great to meet you!

Squall: …Whatever.

Aeris: OK… well, shall we eat?

Squall: 'K.

(They order food and Squall looks at the lifestream.)

Squall: What the hell is that?

Aeris: The soul of the planet, combined with the souls of every living thing.

Squall: …whatever.

Aeris: I'm able to communicate with them… wanna see?

Squall: …Whatever. 

Aeris: OK. Hey, mom! You there? (The lifestream swirls around.) Yeah, I'm good. How's Dad? Everything OK? This is Squall. Yeah, we're on a date.

Squall: That green goo is your mom?

Aeris: Just her soul.

Squall: …Whatever.

Aeris: See you later Mom!

(They eat in silence. Aeris looks at him.)

Aeris: So… tell me about yourself.

Squall: Why?

Aeris: Because we're on a date silly! That's what you do on a date. For instance: My name is Aeris, and I'm a flower seller. I died a while ago, but I'm OK now. I'm also an ancient and can communicate with lost souls.

Squall: …whatever.

Aeris: Is that all you ever say?

Squall: No.

Aeris: OK then… what do you do for a living?

Squall: I'm a SEED. I fight evil

Aeris: See? We already have some stuff in common. I like flowers, and you're a SEED. We both fight evil.

Squall: Did you say you died?

Aeris: Yeah, it was this whole thing with Jenova and the end of the world and a REALLY big pointy sword.

Squall: Whatever.

(An hour later. Aeris is chatting with the lifestream and Squall has gone.)

Aeris: And then, he was all like- hang on, where did Squall go?

Random passer-by: He left an hour ago.

Aeris: Nasty git! Ugh, I hate men like that. That is SO rude!

(She stands and storms away. Then pauses and comes back.)

Aeris: Hee hee, left his wallet.

(She pockets the wallet and leaves.)

Reno & Rinoa's Date At the Qu Clan Marshes

*Reno is alone wandering around - lost*

Reno: Well this is one hell of a place for a date… Am I early? Or is she late? Why don't I have a watch? Oh man I hope she's a looker…hmm…I should really stop talking to myself.

Rinoa: Hello? Is that um…Reno?

Reno: Over here!

Rinoa: I can't see over these reeds! Where are you?

Reno: Over here! Just…just follow my voice! *Starts humming*

Rinoa: Ah! Found you! Oh…*Blushes* they didn't say you were so handsome!

Reno: Wow! You're a babe! I mean-uh…I'm Reno. You're Rinoa right?

Rinoa: That's right. Who decided on this location? I'm covered in mud! My shoes are ruined! I can't replace these in this universe!

Reno: *Trying out some cheesy lines* You don't need shoes to look good to me.

Rinoa: *blushes* thank you!

Reno: And the dating agency sent us to this location. Look, there's a blanket over there to sit on. Come on, doll.

Rinoa: Please. Don't call me doll. That's an age old criticism , meant to demean women and give men superiority over us. I am not a 'doll'. I am a human being with thoughts and ambitions! *fumes*

Reno: (Yeah, and you talk too much!) Sorry uh Rinoa. You're right. Can I start over? Let's go sit down. (This sucking up had better be worth it…)

Rinoa: *suddenly happy* That sounds good.

*They sit down*

Rinoa: They said you were a Turk right? What is that? Some romantic organisation, I suppose, who fights defending what is right and good from the baddies who try to rule by force? Just like Garden?

Reno: Uh…sure! Yeah, we even saved the world one time. There was an evil group called AVALANCHE and it was this whole big thing!

Rinoa: Wow…My hero, but not in a sexist, helpless-woman kind of way.

Reno: (This is too easy!) Of course! *Puts an arm around her* So is there anything to eat gere? *looks around. A large shadow looms behind him*

Big looming shadow: You want food now?

Reno: *jumping up* Aah! What the hell is that!?

Big looming shadow: I Quina! I come back for vacation and frogs and Master Qu say feed guests. This hard so Moogles help!

Rinoa: Well isn't that nice!

Reno: This is too weird for me. You're OK with this thing!?

Rinoa: Don't be rude!

Reno: *confused* I'm not. I'm Reno. Rude's in Midgar somewhere…

Rinoa: I think…uh…he or she's kinda cute don't you?

Reno: No! *to Quina* please leave! We're on a date!

Quina: You hurt Quina's feelings…I bring Moogles and go home to cry. MOOGLES! FOOD TIME!!!

*Lots of Moogles appear putting out plates of food and lighting candles and other romantic stuff. Some nice music plays from somewhere. Then they're alone once more*

Reno: *sitting down again* This is more like it!

Rinoa: It really is a nice evening…even though it is a swamp…*Starts eating* Yummy! This is good!

Reno: Not as good as you.

Rinoa: *Giggles* Oh you're so sweet!

*Reno yawns and puts an arm around her ACCIDENTLY!*

Rinoa: The sky is pretty.

Reno: Well, I can se it in your eyes…

Rinoa: Awww…

*A frog jumps from nowhere onto Reno's plate. It grins at him*

Reno: *Girly scream* Aaaaaeeeeeeeiiiiiii!!!!!

Rinoa: Oh it's so cute! I shall call it Froggy, and it shall be mine. And it shall be my Froggy!

Reno: *Shudders*

Rinoa: You wanna hold him? He's only a little slimy!

Reno: *Jumping up again* Eww! No!

*Quina comes along with an armful of oglops*

Quina: You want Oglop? You pick Oglop, I cook real good.

Reno: What the hell are those!?

Quina: Quina show you. *holds one up close to Reno's face*

Reno: *Faints*

Rinoa: Well, he's no fun. Did we kill him, Quina?

Quina: Quina give him mouth to mouth! *Kisses Reno*

Reno: *Opening eyes at the view of Quina bent over him* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! *Splutters* Hack!! Hack!!

*Reno runs away over the horizon at double the speed of a very fast thing*

Rinoa: *Pouting* Who's gonna take me home now?? Ooh! An Oglop! So cute!