Chapter two:
Lord Asriel's world
She was 18 too. Pan, her dæmon looked at the well-bred, matured and elegant teenager, and was reminded of the enthralling presence of Mrs. Coulter. They mourned both Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter's passing, and Lyra was greatly affected by the way both parents died trying to save her. She had the Carpe Diem presence that Mrs. Coulter possessed and wielded, so lethally, and Will, her love-forever, had the commanding genius, and brains of which to match Lord Asriel.
Pan cogitated light-heartily. He suppressed a few muffled sniggers, only to find a half-amused, half-curious Lyra looking at him, bamboozled.
"Nah, it's nothing," Pan shyed away. But Lyra's penetrating gaze made him give in. "Here, here! What's with that look?" Playfully teasing her. "I was only wondering how you and Will are so much the same as Lord Asriel and Mrs. Coulter!"
He knew at once why he shouldn't have said it.
Lyra's face clouded warily and she shield it from Pan. Will was gone from her, forever. She toyed with the idea of meeting him in the world of the dead, but what good would that do? They wasted one lifetime, and while she had promised him not to hinder other suitors for her brave heart, she couldn't help but to yearn for his tender caress every second, every day. She never complained, though. How could she, really? It was for the best for Dust, for the best of the worlds; to maintain the standard equilibrium of Dust.
"Specters too, remember?" Pan whispered, listening on her thoughts.
And she did remember, distastefully. Shrugging it of, she turned back to Pan.
"No, Mrs. Coulter and I are so dissimilar! She's cunning, for one. Maybe she became nice when she was with me, but she was still cunning. To drug me to sleep! How is that love?! And I'm not cunning." She explained. "Also, I have never, and will never support the Church. She has. And she has served them well. And, and, Will! Lord Asriel? Him? Impossible. Will would love his child like his own, but Lord Asriel hated me. He hated me, and died to save me because of what I would do to oppose the Church. Which I did, well, not for him... And you do know that, Pan?"
Throughout the course of her monologue, Pan spotted discrepancies but ceased to point them out. Lyra had been through turmoil, and Pan was there to sooth the pain. It was true though, that Will loved more than the committed Lord Asriel, but how could anyone deny, the fierce fire that raged through the both of their eyes. In the same way, Lyra enjoyed the hard grit and headstrong-ness that she had no doubt inherited from her mother.
"Pan, you know my heart aches? It's been 6 years, I know but time can't heal all wounds!" cried the burdened Lyra, only to find that Pan had left again. She felt lonely. Sunken, she striped her cheeks of traces of tears, and opened her Collage books once more.