Beatrix & Reno – Date 2 – Kalm, Mansion
Reno: Woah, I actually got here early! That's a first! (Looks around) So this is the famous Shinra mansion...Weird I've never been here before...it's actually kinda scary...
(Something taps him on the shoulder)
Reno: (screams like a little girl (and that's an insult to little girls) and runs)
Beatrix: What is the matter with him? I assume he is my intended date...(follows Reno and eventually finds him cowering behind a dying fern)
Reno: Ah, uh...you found me..uh...Beatrix! It was you who tapped me right?
Beatrix: (nods)
Reno: I wasn't scared or anything, I just thought a rousing game of...uh...hide and seek would be really...romantic...Hi I'm Reno!
Beatrix: (raises eyebrow)
Reno: You're really pretty you know that?
Beatrix: Yes. I know, Thank you. Shall we go somewhere a little more palatable? This place smells of rotting grass.
Reno: Sure, baby, whatever you say!
Beatrix: Did you just refer to me as a child?
Reno: No...I just...it's only...oh never mind.
(They find some food and cushions laid out outside Vincent's room and settle down to talk)
Beatrix: I must say this place really is not bad for a dating venue.
Reno: Yeah, there's cool, creepy vibes and it's completely empty! (Realizes they're all alone) You're not scared are you? Because we could snuggle together and keep safe...(slides closer to Beatrix)
Beatrix: (Draws her sword) Do not try anything that might be thought of as amusing.
Reno: (Confused) You mean no funny stuff? Fine fine, I'll be good.
(They are disturbed suddenly by Vincent opening his door looking tired)
Reno: (Startled, jumps into Beatrix's arms) Hold me.
Vincent: Can you please keep it down? I have just had a VERY unpleasant date with that brat, Yuffie and I am trying to forget about it and go to sleep!
Reno: (Embarrassedly getting out of Beatrix's arms) Man, I feel for you. That would be one bad date. I can't stand that kid! We'll just go somewhere else.
Vincent: (Grunts and goes back to his coffin)
They walk back up the stairs into the bedroom and sit down)
Beatrix: Was that a friend of yours?
Reno: An enemy actually. (Remembering his pickup lines) ...But I didn't want to start a fight and ruin our lovely evening together.
Beatrix: (Smiling for the first time) That's sweet.
Reno: (Smiling with self satisfaction he leans against a wall. The secret door opens and Reno falls all the way to the bottom of the spiral staircase)
Beatrix: (Calling down the stairs) Are you in need of medical assistance?
Reno: Uh...no, I'm good. (Cracks his arm back into place) I just need to lie down for a bit...(groans)
(Beatrix groans with exasperation and carries him into the library past Vincent's place)
Beatrix: (Dropping Reno and looking around) Now this is more like it. A library. Something I can easily relate to. You'll be fine won't you Reno? I'll just take a look around.
Reno: (gurgles from the floor)
Beatrix: How fascinating...This...Sephiroth sounds like quite a legend. Oh, here's a picture of him! (Stares at the picture, then at Reno, and back again)
Reno: What?
Beatrix: Nothing, it's just he is a very fine man. I think I'd like to meet him one day...
Reno: Oh that is it. You drop my broken body on the floor, ignore me then compare me unfavourably to other men!? I would storm out right about now but seeing as I can't move I'd appreciate it if you left instead.
Beatrix: Gladly. You may have been better company than my last date but I know there are better men out there. Men who aren't cowards...
(Beatrix leaves taking the picture of Sephiroth with her)
Reno: (Shouting) Vincent! Vincent! Help! (Whispering) It's dark down here and I'm half paralysed...(Whimpers)
Zell and Shera: The Auction House
(Zell is waiting outside the auction house, holding his T-Board)
Zell: Hmm... could be worse, I guess. Could be that last date. God, she was dull...
(Shera enters and sees him)
Shera: Oh, for goodness sake! Can't they set me up with someone my own age?
Zell: You're Shera?
Shera: Yes, I presume you're Zell. Do you have a tail?
Zell: No.
Shera: Definite improvement on the last one. Shall we go in?
Zell: Sure, why not.
(They enter the Auction House and sit down at the back.)
Zell: (Fiddling with T-Board) Stupid thing...
Shera: Let me see. I'm a mechanic.
Zell: Really?
Shera: Yes, I helped build a rocket.
Zell: Cool!
Shera: (Examining T-Board) Yes... I see the problem. The hyperwires have crossed with the electrocircuit resulting in a circuit breakage.
Zell: Your mouth was moving but all I heard was monkey.
(Shera pulls out a screwdriver and starts to fiddle with the board. After a few minutes she hands it back to him.)
Shera: It should be alright now.
Zell: That's pretty impressive for someone your age!
Shera: I beg your pardon?
Zell: (In horror) I-I-I mean... um... well, you're...
Shera: (Laughing) It's OK.
Zell: I just didn't expect someone like you.
Shera: Ditto. I was hoping to get someone my own age this time. I got set up with a monkey last time.
Zell: I got set up with some rat-woman. She was really uptight.
Shera: I think this date's going better though.
Zell: Yeah... say, do you know how to fix camcorders? I dropped mine in the toilet.
(An hour later. They are still talking.)
Shera: I'd better be getting home soon.
Zell: Yeah, me too.
Shera: I had a good time. If you want, I'll show you the new rocket I'm working on.
Zell: (Punching the air) YES!!
Auctioneer: SOLD to the raucous young man in the back row!
Zell: Huh?
Auctioneer: Congratulations, and I hope you enjoy your cow!
Cow: Moo.
Zell: Um... Shera, do you want a cow?
Shera: Not so much.
Zell: Great.
Reno: Woah, I actually got here early! That's a first! (Looks around) So this is the famous Shinra mansion...Weird I've never been here before...it's actually kinda scary...
(Something taps him on the shoulder)
Reno: (screams like a little girl (and that's an insult to little girls) and runs)
Beatrix: What is the matter with him? I assume he is my intended date...(follows Reno and eventually finds him cowering behind a dying fern)
Reno: Ah, uh...you found me..uh...Beatrix! It was you who tapped me right?
Beatrix: (nods)
Reno: I wasn't scared or anything, I just thought a rousing game of...uh...hide and seek would be really...romantic...Hi I'm Reno!
Beatrix: (raises eyebrow)
Reno: You're really pretty you know that?
Beatrix: Yes. I know, Thank you. Shall we go somewhere a little more palatable? This place smells of rotting grass.
Reno: Sure, baby, whatever you say!
Beatrix: Did you just refer to me as a child?
Reno: No...I just...it's only...oh never mind.
(They find some food and cushions laid out outside Vincent's room and settle down to talk)
Beatrix: I must say this place really is not bad for a dating venue.
Reno: Yeah, there's cool, creepy vibes and it's completely empty! (Realizes they're all alone) You're not scared are you? Because we could snuggle together and keep safe...(slides closer to Beatrix)
Beatrix: (Draws her sword) Do not try anything that might be thought of as amusing.
Reno: (Confused) You mean no funny stuff? Fine fine, I'll be good.
(They are disturbed suddenly by Vincent opening his door looking tired)
Reno: (Startled, jumps into Beatrix's arms) Hold me.
Vincent: Can you please keep it down? I have just had a VERY unpleasant date with that brat, Yuffie and I am trying to forget about it and go to sleep!
Reno: (Embarrassedly getting out of Beatrix's arms) Man, I feel for you. That would be one bad date. I can't stand that kid! We'll just go somewhere else.
Vincent: (Grunts and goes back to his coffin)
They walk back up the stairs into the bedroom and sit down)
Beatrix: Was that a friend of yours?
Reno: An enemy actually. (Remembering his pickup lines) ...But I didn't want to start a fight and ruin our lovely evening together.
Beatrix: (Smiling for the first time) That's sweet.
Reno: (Smiling with self satisfaction he leans against a wall. The secret door opens and Reno falls all the way to the bottom of the spiral staircase)
Beatrix: (Calling down the stairs) Are you in need of medical assistance?
Reno: Uh...no, I'm good. (Cracks his arm back into place) I just need to lie down for a bit...(groans)
(Beatrix groans with exasperation and carries him into the library past Vincent's place)
Beatrix: (Dropping Reno and looking around) Now this is more like it. A library. Something I can easily relate to. You'll be fine won't you Reno? I'll just take a look around.
Reno: (gurgles from the floor)
Beatrix: How fascinating...This...Sephiroth sounds like quite a legend. Oh, here's a picture of him! (Stares at the picture, then at Reno, and back again)
Reno: What?
Beatrix: Nothing, it's just he is a very fine man. I think I'd like to meet him one day...
Reno: Oh that is it. You drop my broken body on the floor, ignore me then compare me unfavourably to other men!? I would storm out right about now but seeing as I can't move I'd appreciate it if you left instead.
Beatrix: Gladly. You may have been better company than my last date but I know there are better men out there. Men who aren't cowards...
(Beatrix leaves taking the picture of Sephiroth with her)
Reno: (Shouting) Vincent! Vincent! Help! (Whispering) It's dark down here and I'm half paralysed...(Whimpers)
Zell and Shera: The Auction House
(Zell is waiting outside the auction house, holding his T-Board)
Zell: Hmm... could be worse, I guess. Could be that last date. God, she was dull...
(Shera enters and sees him)
Shera: Oh, for goodness sake! Can't they set me up with someone my own age?
Zell: You're Shera?
Shera: Yes, I presume you're Zell. Do you have a tail?
Zell: No.
Shera: Definite improvement on the last one. Shall we go in?
Zell: Sure, why not.
(They enter the Auction House and sit down at the back.)
Zell: (Fiddling with T-Board) Stupid thing...
Shera: Let me see. I'm a mechanic.
Zell: Really?
Shera: Yes, I helped build a rocket.
Zell: Cool!
Shera: (Examining T-Board) Yes... I see the problem. The hyperwires have crossed with the electrocircuit resulting in a circuit breakage.
Zell: Your mouth was moving but all I heard was monkey.
(Shera pulls out a screwdriver and starts to fiddle with the board. After a few minutes she hands it back to him.)
Shera: It should be alright now.
Zell: That's pretty impressive for someone your age!
Shera: I beg your pardon?
Zell: (In horror) I-I-I mean... um... well, you're...
Shera: (Laughing) It's OK.
Zell: I just didn't expect someone like you.
Shera: Ditto. I was hoping to get someone my own age this time. I got set up with a monkey last time.
Zell: I got set up with some rat-woman. She was really uptight.
Shera: I think this date's going better though.
Zell: Yeah... say, do you know how to fix camcorders? I dropped mine in the toilet.
(An hour later. They are still talking.)
Shera: I'd better be getting home soon.
Zell: Yeah, me too.
Shera: I had a good time. If you want, I'll show you the new rocket I'm working on.
Zell: (Punching the air) YES!!
Auctioneer: SOLD to the raucous young man in the back row!
Zell: Huh?
Auctioneer: Congratulations, and I hope you enjoy your cow!
Cow: Moo.
Zell: Um... Shera, do you want a cow?
Shera: Not so much.
Zell: Great.