Disclaimer:

Amanda: is eating ramen with a blue pair of chopsticks with water written on them in Japanese .

Chri: lucky...

Aqua: do I get to use those in the story?

Amanda: looks at chopsticks, then at Aqua, then at the chopsticks again well.... why not?

Aqua: wide grin

Pietro: Aqua... wanna see my chopstick? .

Aqua: drags Pietro into the back room

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"School starts too early," grumbled Luna as she brushed her hair.

"You're just tired because you were up half the night with Lance," sniggered Aqua. "Did you actually get any homework done?"

"Shut up." Luna threw the hairbrush at her.

"Are you two ready yet?" Wanda put her head around the door. "We're gonna be late."

"And you care because?" Luna started to apply mascara.

"Because Kelly has a downer on mutants, just in case you haven't noticed. I don't need any more detention."

"We'll be right down." Aqua gave Wanda a smile and poked Luna in the back. "Hurry up!"

"Alright, I'm done." Luna grabbed her bag and hurried down the stairs, Aqua following more slowly.

Lance was already in the jeep, looking impatient. Fred was in the front, leaving Wanda and toad in the back. Aqua and Luna climbed in and Lance drove off as soon as the door was closed.

"Where's the fire?" joked Luna.

"Next time I'll leave without you," replied Lance. "We get enough problems at school without being late."

"Touchy. Where's Pietro?"

"Ran to school today. Something about a cheerleader."

Aqua snarled without meaning to. Wanda smirked. "Jealous much?"

"As if!" Aqua leaned back and sulked all the way to school. Her spirits lifted slightly when she walked into her biology class and noticed an empty seat next to Kurt Wagner. She threw her bag across the desk and sat down.

"Hey Aqua."

"Hi Kurt, how's it hanging?"

"Low and lazy, you?"

"Slightly to the right."

"Funny. Are you any good at biology?"

"Nope."

"Damn, I'm not cheating off you then."

Aqua laughed. "What's the teacher like?"

"Terrible. Gives tons of homework."

"Oh great."

The teacher chose that moment to walk into the room. The students quietened down and faked various states of attention.

"OK class. Today we're going to be looking at human reproduction…"

"SEX!" shouted some one near the back, the rest of the class dissolving into laughter.

The teacher sighed. "Every year I teach this and every year, the same comment. I keep hoping for something original. Turn to page seventy two of the textbook."

"Finally, a subject I know about," whispered Aqua. "Wanna cheat off me now?"

"Wouldn't I have to cheat on you?"

"We're dating now?" Aqua grinned at Kurt's uncomfortable expression.

After class the pair walked together to their lockers, gossiping about what they had done the night before. Neither of them noticed they were being watched.

"…and Jean chased him all over the mansion trying to keep the towel up with one hand and waving the camera with the other!"

"Did she catch him?"

"Nope, he ran out of the mansion and now he's in hiding."

"I wouldn't have stopped chasing him even if I was wearing nothing nut a towel and I'd ram the camera right up his…" Aqua trailed off as she noticed Wanda up ahead, shoving a couple of girls out of her way as she hurried into the bathroom.

"Look, I'll catch up with you later." Aqua gave Kurt a wave as she followed Wanda into the bathroom. The girl was the only other person there, her hands glowing blue. That was never a good sign.

"Chill out Wanda, it's me." Aqua approached the other girl cautiously – was she crying? Her eyes looked a little wet, but Aqua couldn't imagine her crying over anything.

"Go away."

"What's the matter?"

"I don't wanna talk about it."

"Wanda, if you're upset you can talk to me."

"Aren't you late for class?"

"I'll ditch it."

"It's only your second day here!"

"So? Look, tell me what the problem is. Has Pietro said something?"

"The slimy little turd!"

"I knew it. What did he do?"

"Not Pietro, Todd!"

Aqua blinked in confusion. "Todd? If he's come on to you again just hex him through the wall!"

"He didn't. It's worse." Wanda opened her bag and pulled out a magazine. "Here, take a look at this."

"Playgirl?" Aqua smirked as she rifled through the pages. "No normal guy could ever live up to what they show in this maga… oh."

"Oh? That's all you've got to say about it? Toad's the fucking centrefold!"

"You've got to admit, he's surprisingly photogenic."

Wanda snatched the magazine back, glaring at Aqua. "He didn't tell me he was doing this!"

"Why would he? No offence Wanda, but I don't think anyone expected you to read Playgirl."

"Some of the girls in English were looking at it."

"Did you hurt them?"

"Nothing a few years of therapy and some plastic surgery can't cure. The point is, Todd's in a girly magazine!"

"And why does that bother you?"

"I don't know. It just does."

Aqua smirked. "You're jealous!"

"I am not!"

"You are."

"I'm not! Well – not really. But he's supposed to like me, not…not…"

"Not expose himself to the world?"

"Exactly."

"Worried that other girls might be into him now?"

"He wouldn't even look at another girl." But there was doubt in Wanda's voice.

"He might. I mean, you keep giving him the brush off. They say that love hurts, but I don't think that's supposed to mean physically."

"You think he might actually get a girlfriend? This is Toad we're talking about! No amount of flattering photos can change that. Can they?"

"I don't know. Maybe you should make your mind up about him before some one else does."

"Yeah." Wanda glanced down at the magazine and smirked. "Toad in porn. Who'd have thought it?"

"You know we're going to have to buy a few more of these, plaster the house in them."

"Can you imagine his face when he walks through the door and sees them?"

"Forget his face, think of the other boys!"

Wanda laughed. "Shall we do it at lunchtime?"

"Damn right. I'll get Luna to help us out."

"I'm so looking forward to this!"

000000000000000000000000000

"I hate school yo." Toad flipped out his tongue and caught a slow-moving bluebottle. "I'm failing everything. Except gym."

"Maybe you should try listening in class," suggested Luna with a knowing look as she climbed out of the jeep.

"And that's another thing," said Toad, giving Luna a suspicious glance. "People have been acting weird around me all day. Looking at me and laughing."

"They do that every day," Lance said.

"Mrs Newman blushed when she gave me back my homework."

Pietro zipped up to the group as they milled around the jeep. Aqua glanced at him. "You're late back."

"Had something to do. What's up?"

"Toad thinks people are treating him strangely," said Wanda, trying not to laugh.

"Toad is strange." Pietro sped into the house. The girls began laughing as there was a moments silence, followed by a loud scream.

"MY EYES! MY EYES! THE HORROR!!"

Pietro fled the house, skidding to a stop in front of the others. Lance looked alarmed. "What's wrong?"

"So unclean, so unclean…" Pietro continued to gibber.

"If the X-Men have done something, I'm gonna rock the whole Institute." Lance stormed up to the house and went through the still open door.

Toad glanced over to where the girls were laughing. "What's going on yo?"

"Nothing!" Aqua took another look at the traumatised Pietro and burst into fresh giggles.

"NOOOOO!!"

Lance stumbled out of the house looking ill. "It's horrible…so wrong…"

Todd glared at the girls, who were sitting on the floor in hysterics, and hopped into the house. A minute later he ran out and pointed at them.

"You evil witches!"

"Got something against witches?" asked Wanda.sweetly.

"That's why all the girls were acting so weird!"

"And now Mrs Newman's seen you all nudey," added Aqua.

"Oh shit."

Fred just looked confused. "What's going on?" He lumbered off toward the house.

"No Fred, don't!"

Ignoring Toad, Fred put his head around the door and was greeted by the sight of the other boy wearing nothing but a smile on every available surface. He backed up too quickly and fell down the steps.

000000000000000000000000000

Walking past Kurt's room, Scott heard the sounds of cursing in German. He knocked on the door and then walked into the room. Kurt was stood in front of the mirror, holo-watch turned off, his fur coated in what looked like flour.

"Did you insult Kitty's cooking again?"

"Nein!" Kurt brushed ineffectually at the mess. "Some vun fixed my locker! I went to put my books away after school and boom, all zis exploded out."

"Is it flour?"

"Ja, but it's all vet or something. It's like glue."

"You're gonna have to take a shower. Any idea who did it?"

"Nein, but it would have to happen when Quicksilver vas around. He nearly cried laughing."

"Quicksilver? Did you do something to piss off the Brotherhood?"

"Nein! I even sat next to Aqua in biology!"

Scott smirked. "What were you talking about?"

"Just what happened to Jean in the shower last night…" Kurt realised his mistake when the smirk dropped off Scott's face. "Not that I know anything about that!"

"Is this another one of the New Recruits dares that I should know about?"

"Uh…gotta go shower!" Kurt teleported away quickly. A moment later he reappeared downstairs, took the phone off a startled Kitty and teleported away again before she could complain.

"She'll have to call you back," he said into the phone before cutting off the call and digging out the number of the Brotherhood house from his bag.

The phone rang for a while before a bored voice said, "Hello?"

Shiza!! Quicksilver!

Trying to disguise his accent, he spoke gruffly. "Is Aqua there?"

"Who wants to know?"

"Uh…her biology partner."

"Hang on." There was a clunk as the receiver was put down and then Pietro
yelled. "HEY, AQUA!! PHONE!"

"WHO IS IT?"

"SOME CREEPY GUY WANTING TO TALK ABOUT SEX!!"

A pause, then Aqua's voice. "Hey Kurt!"

"How did you know it vas me?"

"Who else'd want to talk about sex with me?"

Pietro spoke in the background. "Ask him if he's still all white!"

"Uh, what's he talking about?"

Kurt sighed. "It's a long story."

"I've got time."

"Some vun booby-trapped my locker."

"That's not a long story. You OK?"

"Nothing about four weeks in the shower wouldn't cure. I just called
because…" His mind went blank. Why had he called? "Uh, to see if you did the homework yet."

"Not even thought about it. We've had an, uh, eventful day since we got
back."

"Eventful?"

"I'll tell you if you want, but it involves Toad naked."

"Zhat's fine, I really don't vanna know!"

"The assignment was only drawing reproductive organs. From most of the boys bathrooms I've been in, you get a lot of practice at that."

"I've never drawn a picture in ze bathroom!"

"But?"

"Vell, I did write my ex-girlfriends phone number in vun…"

"Remind me never to piss you off." Aqua glared at Pietro, who was still
loitering nearby, eavesdropping on the conversation. "Look, I'm getting no
privacy around here. Can I talk to you tomorrow?"

"Sure. See you then!"

"Bye Kurt." She cut off the conversation thoughtfully and as soon as she did
Pietro took off for the living room. She followed him, a suspicion forming
in her mind. "Pietro Maximoff, I want to talk to you!"

A few shouts later Aqua had just finished taking a shower and was changing in the closet. Grumbling to herself about men who thought too much of themselves. Luna however, was hatching a plan in her devious brain.

She grabbed a fresh tomato from the fridge, walked upstairs and plopped down on the floor in her and Aqua's room. Pietro, also in the room having been invited in by Luna earlier, gave her a strange look. "Why are you eating a whole tomato?" Luna just raised the food to her lips, bit into it and preceded to suck out the seeds and such. Pietro shook his head and returned his attention to the TV. "I'm living with a vampire..."

"Hey Luna, do you think my boobs are getting bigger?" Aqua had made the mistake of thinking she was safe in her own room but, seeing as their room had a TV with cable and a DVD player (albeit a small TV) Pietro had come in to watch a movie. She was clad in boxers and a black lacy bra. The minute Aqua saw Pietro she let out a squeak and rushed back into the closet to put on a black wife beater.

"DON'T YOU THINK YOU DID ENOUGH DAMAGE FOR ONE DAY??? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY ROOM?!?!?"

Luna scoffed. "Don't you mean our room?" she said. "Besides he only came in here cuz I was watching The Nightmare Before Christmas."

Aqua's eyelids lowered in a dry glare. "Isn't that my movie?"

Luna rolled her eyes and patted the ground in between her and Pietro. Why does everyone want me to sit next to him?

Pietro smirked at the uncomfortable look on Aqua's face and, throwing his dignity out the window for the moment, threw his arms around her as she sat down, pulling her to rest in between his legs. Aqua's eyes widened and she turned in his arms to glare at him. "Let me go!"

He smirked again, "Just watch the movie," he murmured in her ear, causing her spine to tingle a little. She didn't trust him, as far as she knew he was looking down her tank at the moment but she was too tired to argue. She leaned back against him on instinct and missed the slight blush that spread across his cheekbones.

Luna grinned and petted Elijah who had crawled into her lap. That worked perfectly, in an hour or so she'll be asleep. He told Luna, keeping his voice from floating over the link he had with Aqua. His prediction proved true with an added perk, Pietro had fallen asleep as well, his chin rested on Aqua's head.

Luna smirked evilly at the little cat in her lap. On to phase two, did you bring it? he asked.

"Ohhh yeah!" Luna reached under the pillow that she had been sitting on a pulled out a skinny long package. "Aphrodisiac incense, complements of Lover's Package" (an aphrodisiac is a specific food, scent or image that stimulates sexual arousal)

Luna lit one of the hot pink sticks and handed it to the cat who carried it to the incense burner on the headboard of Aqua's bed. "We're wicked..." Luna's eyes slitted evilly. "And I love it!" They both slipped out of the room, closing the door quietly.

A while later Aqua stirred. She blinked a few times, contacts blurry from keeping her eyes closed for a long period of time. "Huh, what the...?"

She realized two things at once, she was alone with Pietro in her room and an intoxicating scent was filling her nose, a scent she recognized immediately. "Oh shit..." She attempted to escape from Pietro's grip, but his arms were wrapped around her too tight. As she shifted her lower back bumped against something hard that made her cease all movement. "Oh god..."