An Instant
Vengeance can destroy you...it can consume you whole, swallowing you up until there is no room for thought or reason.
Oh yes, you are incapable of seeing reason.
It's an inferno of rage, hate and despair. A potent combination, pushing, compelling no DEMANDING you to quench its insatiable thirst. A terrible, fierce passion that races through your blood, burning through your veins, consuming your thoughts until you can no longer sleep at night.
Until peace is just a distant memory lost forever down the path of time.
It's stronger than any spell, any duty, obligation or vision. All you can hope is that maybe there will be some peace when that never ending fire is finally sated.
Oh, it can destroy you. Destroy you as it destroyed me.
Vengeance is a double edged blade. It gives just as much as it takes. And it's only in the end that you see the destruction it leaves in its wake. What it takes can never /ever/ be replaced no matter how much you try or how hard you pray. For there is no justice where vengeance is concerned.
And the fire that seemed to fill your life only moments ago leaves you empty and cold, killing you slowly as the months and years roll relentlessly by.
My painful, passionate cry of despair is born from the single fact that vengeance was the force that caused me to kill the one person who could have meant the world to me. Who could have filled that dark space in my heart and destroy the demons that have plagued me throughout the years. And fill those memories that can make strong men weep, replacing them with their joy, laughter and love.
But I killed her. My salvation, my hope, my soulmate.
It wasn't her that vengeance whispered sinuously in my ears that I should, that I /must/ destroy. It was her father. The man who had slain my sister because she is what she is and we are what we are.
Nightworlders. Lamia. Vampires.
I had failed her. Failed my little sister. I should have been able to keep her safe, protect her, teach her, guide her and look out for her. Isn't that what brothers do? Yet, I had watched her die as some vampire hunter staked her unsuspectingly through the heart as she walked home from school. The memory of his face hath ever been engraved and burned into my mind.
Vengeance demanded that he should pay. But the price was just too high.
Who would have thought that the man I hated more then life itself should have a daughter that was the One. The only one. That his daughter should love them man I hated so much that she threw herself in front of him just as I pulled the trigger of the crossbow aimed directly for his heart.
I didn't know her. Didn't know what she could have meant to me. But as those delicate pale hands closed around the bolt that pierced her flawless skin and those beautiful blue-gray eyes met mine with shock, pain and surprise...
I knew.
I knew, for those eyes seemed to unlock the doors to my very soul, to my mind and to my heart. And in that instant I saw a future that could have been mine.
And it killed me inside.
When I rushed to her side, my mind screaming /what have you done?/ I put my arms around her and felt her blood, her life ebbing from the wound that /I had/ caused and saw the pain in her eyes that /I had/ put there.
To watch those beautiful blue-gray eyes close and know that I will never again have the chance to look into them. Knowing that I could have had a lifetime to explore those shades of blue and gray. To see them light up with happiness or glow with joy. And those pale, pink lips that I would never, ever kiss...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry that I never had the opportunity to know you.
And you haunt me. You haunt my days, my nights and my dreams.
I dream of what we could have had. My soulmate. I dream of you and it torments me so. I lost my sister, tried to avenge her and only ended up losing you too.
To find what you have been looking for your whole life and to have it snatched away in an instant, knowing that you were the one who destroyed this fragile, precious dream is something I'll have to live with in agony for the rest of my long, endless life. The curse of a vampire.
I'm sorry I never knew your favourite colour, your favourite movie or your favourite song. I'm sorry I never knew your name.
I wish I could make things right. But I don't know how. I wish I could erase the past. I wish I could hold you...just once. I'd sell my soul to see you one more time. To look into your eyes and say the things I have dreamed /every day/ of saying.
But dreams are futile...when you can't have them. They just prolong the pain.
But I'll wait for you. And hope that one day you'll return to me and I'll do everything I can to make it up to you. This I promise you.
My love, my hope, my salvation. My soulmate. I am nothing without you.
Vengeance can destroy you...it can consume you whole, swallowing you up until there is no room for thought or reason.
Oh yes, you are incapable of seeing reason.
It's an inferno of rage, hate and despair. A potent combination, pushing, compelling no DEMANDING you to quench its insatiable thirst. A terrible, fierce passion that races through your blood, burning through your veins, consuming your thoughts until you can no longer sleep at night.
Until peace is just a distant memory lost forever down the path of time.
It's stronger than any spell, any duty, obligation or vision. All you can hope is that maybe there will be some peace when that never ending fire is finally sated.
Oh, it can destroy you. Destroy you as it destroyed me.
Vengeance is a double edged blade. It gives just as much as it takes. And it's only in the end that you see the destruction it leaves in its wake. What it takes can never /ever/ be replaced no matter how much you try or how hard you pray. For there is no justice where vengeance is concerned.
And the fire that seemed to fill your life only moments ago leaves you empty and cold, killing you slowly as the months and years roll relentlessly by.
My painful, passionate cry of despair is born from the single fact that vengeance was the force that caused me to kill the one person who could have meant the world to me. Who could have filled that dark space in my heart and destroy the demons that have plagued me throughout the years. And fill those memories that can make strong men weep, replacing them with their joy, laughter and love.
But I killed her. My salvation, my hope, my soulmate.
It wasn't her that vengeance whispered sinuously in my ears that I should, that I /must/ destroy. It was her father. The man who had slain my sister because she is what she is and we are what we are.
Nightworlders. Lamia. Vampires.
I had failed her. Failed my little sister. I should have been able to keep her safe, protect her, teach her, guide her and look out for her. Isn't that what brothers do? Yet, I had watched her die as some vampire hunter staked her unsuspectingly through the heart as she walked home from school. The memory of his face hath ever been engraved and burned into my mind.
Vengeance demanded that he should pay. But the price was just too high.
Who would have thought that the man I hated more then life itself should have a daughter that was the One. The only one. That his daughter should love them man I hated so much that she threw herself in front of him just as I pulled the trigger of the crossbow aimed directly for his heart.
I didn't know her. Didn't know what she could have meant to me. But as those delicate pale hands closed around the bolt that pierced her flawless skin and those beautiful blue-gray eyes met mine with shock, pain and surprise...
I knew.
I knew, for those eyes seemed to unlock the doors to my very soul, to my mind and to my heart. And in that instant I saw a future that could have been mine.
And it killed me inside.
When I rushed to her side, my mind screaming /what have you done?/ I put my arms around her and felt her blood, her life ebbing from the wound that /I had/ caused and saw the pain in her eyes that /I had/ put there.
To watch those beautiful blue-gray eyes close and know that I will never again have the chance to look into them. Knowing that I could have had a lifetime to explore those shades of blue and gray. To see them light up with happiness or glow with joy. And those pale, pink lips that I would never, ever kiss...
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry that I never had the opportunity to know you.
And you haunt me. You haunt my days, my nights and my dreams.
I dream of what we could have had. My soulmate. I dream of you and it torments me so. I lost my sister, tried to avenge her and only ended up losing you too.
To find what you have been looking for your whole life and to have it snatched away in an instant, knowing that you were the one who destroyed this fragile, precious dream is something I'll have to live with in agony for the rest of my long, endless life. The curse of a vampire.
I'm sorry I never knew your favourite colour, your favourite movie or your favourite song. I'm sorry I never knew your name.
I wish I could make things right. But I don't know how. I wish I could erase the past. I wish I could hold you...just once. I'd sell my soul to see you one more time. To look into your eyes and say the things I have dreamed /every day/ of saying.
But dreams are futile...when you can't have them. They just prolong the pain.
But I'll wait for you. And hope that one day you'll return to me and I'll do everything I can to make it up to you. This I promise you.
My love, my hope, my salvation. My soulmate. I am nothing without you.