Author's Note: Hey everyone. I've got a nice long chapter here for all of you, but this length is unusual, not the norm. Got it? Good. Yesterday my friends and I went down to the beach and one of my friends tried to teach the rest of us how to skim board. He made it look so easy, just sort of gliding away into the horizon, and the rest of us kept trying to run onto the damn boards and either nose diving into the shallow water, or falling flat on our bums. I don't know how I managed it, but I'm sore in many muscles I didn't know existed. It was fun, but it was freezing, and we ended up all lying in this very shallow stream of warm fresh water for a long time, trying to get warm, since the ocean felt like frozen ice cubes. And just when we were about to go dry off, since I had started turning blue, a huge wave came and wiped out all our stuff. Towels and clothes: soaked. But it was great anyways. Well, anyways, here's the chapter. Hope you enjoy!
"Harry! Harry!" Eloise called excitedly as she raced into the Lighthouse's kitchen, brushing soot off her shoulder as she ran. Neville followed behind looking very entertained.
Harry grinned. He liked hanging around Neville and Eloise since they seemed to be the only people he knew who didn't know about the incident with his uncle or that he had been abused. It was refreshing to know for sure that they didn't come to see him out of pity.
Eloise slammed a magazine down on the table in front of Harry and the raven-haired boy paled slightly.
"Oh no, what are they saying now," he groaned. "It's not the Cho thing again, is it?"
"Nope," Eloise said happily as she flipped to a page near the center.
"The Year's Fifty Hottest Wizards," Harry read the title of the article and scanned some of the names listed before turning to Eloise. "Um, no offense, Eloise, but I'm not really interested in who's the hottest wizarding celebrity according to Teen Witch."
"You will be when you find out who got number one," Neville said with a knowing grin.
"Victor Krum?" Harry guessed, thinking of the only young celebrity he knew.
"No way, not even on the list," Eloise said dismissively with a hint of pride to her voice. "This list is only the cream of the crop."
Or maybe it was someone Eloise would be interested in. "Um, that guy you like from that band? Er…Ken…Kevin…"
"Kyle Coolson? Nope, though he is dead sexy…" she caught sight of Neville's raised eyebrow, "...not as sexy as you, Neville, obviously." Neville blushed and shook his head with a chuckle. Eloise continued. "And the winner is…"
Eloise flipped the page and Harry's jaw dropped.
It was a large picture of himself at the Three Broomsticks, looking off the page at who he presumed were his friends. He remembered the day. Ron and Hermione had been joking around and teasing him about his crush on Ginny. His picture self was blushing and chuckling softly. He looked down at his drink and ran a hand through his hair, revealing his scar before looking back up to where Ron and Hermione would have been if the picture had been larger.
Eloise and Neville both laughed excitedly and quickly slid into chairs on either side of their shocked friend.
Harry quickly looked at some of the other pictures. He groaned in mortification as he saw one of him without his shirt from the day he had been running from reporters in Hogsmeade. There were a few small ones of him walking around with his friends in Hogsmeade at different times of the year, one in the snow, one where it was raining, and one with he, Fred and George after he had found haven in their joke shop from the rabid reporters. There was a picture from the press thing for the tri-wizard tournament, and a couple from the tournament itself, one of him on a broom flying around the dragon, finally sweeping the egg out from under it and flying out over the audience, and another of him pulling Ron and Fleur's little sister out of the Great Lake, shirt clinging to his chest. He definitely looked younger in those three.
"Oh no," Harry said weakly. "I look like a complete ponce. I look…"
"You look good, Harry, don't worry," Eloise assured him, patting his arm. "They do a whole article on the winning wizard. Listen to this:
"In choosing our hottest wizard of all, there was obviously some tough competition. But Teen Witch takes more into consideration than just looks, though our winner definitely has those as well. Harry Potter has been known throughout the wizarding world since…I'll skip the life story since you already know it. It talks about your two defeats of You-Know-Who and all the stuff you've done at school. Okay…There's no question that Harry's got the makings of a hero: bravery, selflessness, and the resilience to stand up to all the criticism he's gotten in the last few years. But what makes Harry really special is the part of him the public doesn't always see. We've had our undercover reporters, disguised as regular teenagers, talk to several of his peers from his school, Hogwarts, on one of the school's outings to Hogsmeade Village to find the truth about the boy behind the scar and the results were quite interesting.
"'Harry's different than other celebrities, I guess,' one Justin Finch-Fletchly revealed. 'He's really nice and he genuinely doesn't get into the whole celebrity thing. Back in our second year, I accused him of some pretty horrible things, since I really thought he was doing them at the time, but he immediately forgave me after the whole mess was over. Definitely a good bloke.'
"'Harry? Oh Harry's great! He's my hero,' confided one Charles Crabbe, a second year at the time of this interview. 'He saved me from some bullies from his own house, I'm in his rival house, and that's practically unheard of in our school. Actually, from what some of my friends have told me, it seems that he really tries to help a lot of the younger students from our house, Slytherin that is, even if a lot of the upper classmen are mean to him. Plus he's always telling me to be myself and never tried to turn me against my older brother, who's quite mean to him. He makes me and some of my classmates want to change and try to overcome this stupid house rivalry we've got going on.'
"'Harry Potter? Oh, he's dead sexy,' agreed a group of girls whose names will be concealed to protect their dignity. 'No really, he's what you would call a sex god if he wasn't so innocent. I think practically every girl I know would love to be his first girlfriend, or his first kiss, or his first anything really. We tried sneaking into the Gryffindor changing rooms one time after Quidditch practice to watch him change and hopefully shower, but he caught us. He didn't even get it that we were there to watch him and was actually concerned that we had gotten locked in the towel closet, which just happened to have had a few holes punched through it.'"
"What?!" Harry interrupted. "They said they had accidentally gotten locked in!"
Eloise and Neville looked at him with raised eyebrows.
"A whole group of young teenage girls happened to get locked in the small towel closet, because what, they decided to all take a walk into it?" Eloise asked sarcastically.
"What did they say the holes were for?" Neville asked curiously.
"Um, so they could call for help. They said they were just about to call out when I came over," Harry said thinking back. "Huh. I always wondered why they had waited so long. I mean I had already taken off my shirt and everything."
"Hey, Har, you know they took the word gullible out of the dictionary."
"Really? Why…oh shut it, Neville," Harry grumbled.
"Alright," Eloise said, "Back to the entertainment:
"'Oh no, another crazed fan girl after Harry?' laughed the captain of Harry's Quidditch team, Angelina Johnson. 'Harry's a big sweetie. I've never met anyone so down-to-earth and I don't just mean for a celebrity. He's loyal like you wouldn't believe, and he'd do anything for his friends. My boyfriend, Fred Weasley, his family's really close with Harry, and trust me, that boy would do anything for any of them, and Fred and George both adore him. Anyway, you just leave him alone because Merlin knows how shy he is about all this fame stuff. He just wants to be a normal teenager and hang out with his friends.'
"'Harry's best friends are Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, everyone knows that, but I also see him around with Neville Longbottom and Eloise Midgeon, she's from my house,' said Leena Sine, a fourth year at the time. 'Oh, he's also around Ginny Weasley a lot; she's in my year. Everyone thinks they might get together. Um, you want more? Let's see. A lot of girls fancy him, because, well, obviously he's really cute, but it's in that sort of way where he doesn't know he's cute, and he can't see that everyone's wild about him.'
"All of these comments were made before Harry had defeated He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named for good, so we can be assured that people were not just saying these things in gratitude. Brave, down-to-earth, and obviously gorgeous, its no wonder everyone's crazy about Harry Potter.
"When the news of the recent fall of You-Know-Who hit the wizarding world, the first reaction of the public was to celebrate, but then, we got the news of the death of Harry. He sacrificed himself for us all, when during his life, the public had not necessarily treated him kindly. Then, it was revealed that Harry had been diagnosed with a Muggle illness several months before and had been keeping the fact that he was dying from all but his very closest friends and professors, since he didn't want anyone to treat him differently.
"His miraculous revival brought joy back to the wizarding world, and we at Teen Witch recognize this as a second chance for not only Harry. It is a chance for the wizarding world to realize that Harry's more than just the boy who lived, a hero even without the scar.
"Of course the biggest question for the millions of witches who would love to, as one our interviewees said it, 'be his first anything,' is if our Harry is attached at this point in time. Through our thorough research, we believe that he is indeed single, and that the rumors of him having dated Hermione Granger and Cho Chang are both false. We all know he's a catch; now, it's time to see who can capture the heart of this sexy wizard teen," Eloise finally finished, quickly adding, "turn to page 76 for lightning bolt shaped stickers and fake tattoos."
"This is beyond humiliating," Harry groaned. "Don't they have to ask permission to do something like this? They obviously only picked me because I beat Voldemort. What if people think I asked them to do this or that I let them take those pictures?"
"Don't worry, mate, I'm sure nobody reads this magazine," Neville said comfortingly.
Eloise laughed. "Are you kidding? Teen Witch is the most largely distributed teen magazine of all. So, Harry, those are some pretty good-looking pictures. Do you think Ginny subscribes to Teen Witch?" Eloise asked suggestively.
Harry paled. "Oh my God. I think she does. We have to get that magazine from her before she reads it! Or any of the Weasleys for that matter. I'd never live it down!"
"No way! Let Ginny read it! She'll love it!" Eloise insisted.
"Ha! I don't think so. It's only eight thirty. They're going to eat breakfast any minute now and then they'll open their mail. I've got to get it before they read it, and don't you dare tell them anything about it, Eloise," Harry said, getting up and hurrying to the fireplace.
"I don't think so, Harry. You're not taking that magazine from Ginny," Eloise said firmly.
"Come on, Eloise, he's embarrassed about it," Neville argued. "Merlin knows I would be too if they plastered shirtless pictures of me in a magazine."
"I wouldn't mind shirtless pictures of you, Nev," Eloise said just to see the blush spread across Neville's face.
While the two were occupied, Harry threw some floo powder into the fireplace and quickly flooed to the Lighthouse. He ran into the kitchen where the Weasleys were just sitting down, the pile of mail on the table. The family looked up in surprise.
"Hey, Har, what's up? Is something going on?" Ron asked in confusion.
"Um, nothing really, I um…was just wondering if you got something that I sent you," Harry improvised. "Can I just look through because I wasn't supposed to send it and I don't want you to see it?"
The Weasleys looked at him strangely. Ron handed him the stack and Harry turned his back toward the table, shifting through the few magazines before finding the Teen Witch.
"Don't let him get the…" Eloise yelled, bursting into the kitchen with Neville right behind her, but was cut off when Neville clamped a hand over her mouth.
Harry grabbed the magazine and hid it under his shirt so they couldn't see which one as he thrust the pile of mail back into a very confused Ron's hands.
"Got it! Thanks!" he announced and whirled around to run out of the kitchen.
"OW!" exclaimed Neville, examining his hand. "Eloise, you bit me!"
"Sorry, had to be done," she said, jumping in front of the door.
"Harry," Eloise said warningly, "if you don't hand it back right now, it may result in bodily harm to you."
The Weasleys all looked around anxiously at how Harry would handle being physically threatened. Luckily Harry didn't see their looks and just laughed.
"Watch out, Harry. She bites," Neville warned, holding up his reddened hand.
"What did you take, Harry?" Ron asked curiously. He got up and started over and Harry watched him approach, backing up toward Eloise.
"Nothing important. Eloise is just being annoying," Harry said, ignoring Eloise's indignant "hey!"
"Trust me, you guys want to see what Harry took," Eloise said to the Weasleys, looking directly at Ginny while she said it.
"Eloise!" Harry cried indignantly. "That's it. No Christmas presents for you ever again."
"Empty threat," Eloise challenged.
"What is it, Eloise?" Ginny asked curiously.
Eloise opened her mouth to respond but Harry clamped a hand over her mouth.
"It's nothing, really," Harry assured them, but everyone was beyond believing anything he said now. The four Weasley kids had all gotten up now and had started coming for him.
He tried getting out of the door, but Eloise was firmly blocking it. Neville dodged her and got into the living room. He motioned for Harry to give it to him. Harry quickly slipped him the magazine and Neville took off running.
"Go, Neville!" Harry called happily as the boy flooed away.
"What was it, Eloise?" Fred asked.
"Eloise, if you don't say anything, I'll try to convince Neville to go to your parents' party with you," Harry said frantically.
"He refuses. He's too afraid he'll mess it up or break something, even though I told him it didn't matter."
"I can convince him. Come on, Eloise," Harry pleaded.
"Bribery, Harry?" Eloise asked with a raised eyebrow.
Harry nodded.
"You've got yourself a deal. I won't say a word," Eloise promised. The Weasleys all groaned in disappointment.
Harry and Eloise said their goodbyes, ignoring the pleas for them to tell what Harry had taken from their mail.
Just before they were about to floo away, Eloise caught Ginny's eye and gave her a significant look. She pulled her own copy of Teen Witch out just enough so the title was showing before putting it away again. Eloise put her fingers to her lips for just a second before pretending to wipe something off her face as Harry looked over at her.
After the breakfast was over, Ginny's first order of business was to owl her friends, begging for a copy of her missing magazine.
When she got a copy later on, she and her brothers all curled up on her bed and found the article. The boys all got a good laugh.
"You can stop drooling now, Ginny," Ron teased and was immediately smacked with a pillow.
"Don't you love how they make a big deal of realizing there's a person behind the scar and then give lightning bolt tattoos and stickers?" Ginny said sarcastically. "I'm glad they're really getting their message across."
"Only Harry would try to hide this," George said with a chuckle.
"Any other guy would be handing out copies like party favors," Fred added.
"Well, I'm glad they chose Harry," Ginny commented. "He could use the confidence boost."
"You're just glad they chose Harry so you can blow up those pictures and hang them on your wall," Ron said with a snort.
Ginny glared at him. "Nooo…I'm not that pathetic," she said indignantly.
Her brothers looked at her with raised eyebrows.
"I'll keep them under my pillow. Too good of a chance he'd see them otherwise," she said with a grin.
"That's our girl!" Fred exclaimed cheerily, clapping her on the back.
…
Harry was laying at the edge of the swimming hole near the Lighthouse. His legs were dangling into the water from his knee down and he was holding one of Kota's Muggle books up above his face. Occasionally the big fish in the pond went by and nudged his foot, giving Harry the creeps. Sirius finally admitted to putting it in there as a prank, but couldn't seem to be able to catch it in order to turn it back into the frog it had originally been. Harry thought the frog might actually enjoy life better as a fish.
Suddenly, something above him was blocking his light. Harry moved his book and started with a gasp as someone's face was looking back down at him.
"Merlin, Fred, you nearly gave me a heart attack," Harry said, sitting up. "What are you doing here?"
Fred took off his shoes and sat next to Harry, sliding his own legs into the cool water.
"You know, Harry, the funniest thing happened this morning. Ron got a letter from Angelina naming him Quidditch captain. Now, of course, our little brother is torn between being insanely excited and being confused as to why he got it and not you. He's too nervous to tell you right now. But as Angelina is my wonderful, beautiful girlfriend, we have a very open relationship and she tells me many, many things. And the funny thing is that last week she told me she sent you a letter naming you captain. And when I asked her about this sudden change of plans, all she told me is that you and her had a conversation and she changed her mind. Would you care to explain this to me, Harry my friend?"
Harry shrugged. "Ron would make a much better captain than me. He's a strategic thinker, whereas I rarely plan out anything. Plus, he's more of an in-the-game player, since Seekers are always off looking for the snitch, so he'll know what we need to improve on best and he'll be able to notice where our strong and weak points are."
"That's pretty much what the letter said, but why do I get the feeling that there's something more to this?" Fred asked wisely.
"Because you're crazy?" Harry suggested jokingly.
"True enough, Harry my boy, but I will not be fooled. Seriously, Harry, why'd you have Angelina hand over captaincy to Ron. Don't worry, I'm not going to tell him," Fred promised.
Harry sighed. "It would mean so much more to Ron to be Quidditch captain. It's something he really wants, though he'd never say it," he admitted.
"Harry, you deserve this. You've been on the team since first year! I know you want it too and you were the best flyer on the team," Fred insisted.
"Fred, you don't understand."
"Well, then you're the bloke to explain it to me. I swear, anything you tell me will be purely confidential. Ron will never know, or any other Weasley, except for maybe George, but that's only because he has this creepy way of knowing when I know something and it's impossible to keep a secret from him. It's a twin thing."
Harry sighed. "You promise not to tell Ron, or be obvious about what I'm going to tell you?"
"I swear it on the joke shop," Fred vowed.
"Okay. Look, Ron always sees himself as the unimportant Weasley. Bill, Charlie, and Percy were all Quidditch captains or Head Boys, and you and George are the outgoing pranksters who everyone loves. Ginny's the girl, so she stands out as well, but Ron feels like he has all this to live up to and if he doesn't live up to it, he'll be a disappointment. And then, of course, it doesn't help being friends with me when I get all these stupid press people doing articles about me and I always end up in the spotlight somehow, and Ron's always left in the shadows. No matter how much anyone tries to tell him that he does stand out, he's not going to believe it until he has the title or the award to back it up. Even first year his dream was to be Head Boy and Quidditch captain, so he should have it. And as I already said, I think he'll do a really good job."
Fred looked a bit stunned. "Ron really thinks that?" he asked.
"Yeah, but don't make a big deal out of it or anything. It was one of the first things he said to me on the train and I know him well enough to know it hasn't changed. He'll figure it out though, when he's some brilliant healer," Harry said confidently. "But don't tell him I got it first or anything about what I told you, okay?"
"Yup, this conversation never happened. Gotcha. But Harry, you're a good kid, you know that? I'm glad I picked you out for Ron's friend and Ginny's future husband, oh look, you've even got a sort of Weasley blush there," Fred pointed out.
"Ginny and I…"
"…are just friends," Fred finished for him. "Right." He rolled his eyes and got to his feet.
"Mind if I come back with you to congratulate Ron?" Harry asked.
"Come on, you crazy Seeker," Fred said, giving Harry a hand up. "You know, I don't know why all those Death Eaters want to kill you. I'm rather fond of you, myself."
Harry laughed and the two left the clearing.
…
After Ron had made absolute sure that him being captain was fine with Harry, the redhead jumped around the house waving the letter around and telling Harry how he was going to turn the team into the Chudley Cannons, except that they'd win. He insisted that Harry spend the night at the Burrow, suddenly realizing that Harry had weaseled his way out of staying over for a long time now. But this time, he would take no excuses, since, as Ron insisted, they had to discuss Quidditch strategy into the wee hours of the morning.
Harry knew staying over probably wasn't the best idea, but didn't want to argue with Ron too much. Any scene about it would draw attention to the reason Harry didn't want to sleep over, and that would not be good.
Of course, Ron's plan to stay up all night failed miserably as Ron fell asleep a little after midnight. Harry also found himself also being pulled into sleep's grasp. Ever since he'd been caught in Sirius's room, his godfather had been checking on him about an hour or so after he went to bed to check if he was sleeping. Luckily, the Lighthouse's stairs were creaky enough that he could always hear when Sirius was starting up toward his room, and would just pretend to be asleep long enough so that Sirius could go back to his own room and get some rest. Then, Harry could stay up nearly the whole night reading or working on his homework, occasionally catching an hour or two of sleep when the sun started coming up, using a very quiet alarm clock to make sure he still woke up before Sirius did.
But here, at the Burrow, he couldn't read or work since he couldn't turn on Ron's light without waking the redhead up. Without something to distract him from his exhaustion, Harry couldn't fight his heavy eyelids and soon found himself drifting off.
It was only an hour later that Harry woke in a cold sweat, in result of another nightmare. He anxiously looked over to Ron's bed and was relieved to see that the redhead had not woken.
Harry sighed and put on his glasses. He knew he couldn't go back to sleep and only wished his nightmares had let him sleep just a few hours longer before driving him into consciousness.
He quietly got out of bed and grabbed his borrowed Muggle book from the nightstand and, after a moment of deliberation, quietly made his way down to the bathroom and shut the door behind him. There, after letting his eyes adjust to the lights, Harry sat on the small rug on the floor and leaned against the cabinets. He rubbed his tired eyes, trying to persuade them to stay open. He rested the book on his knees and forced himself to read, replacing the demons in his head with trying to figure out what in the name of Merlin Shakespeare was trying to say, looking between the text on the left pages and the definitions of the old fashioned terms on the right. Kota had insisted that he had to read Hamlet, but Harry was now regretting that he'd listened since Shakespeare obviously wasn't the best choice of a book to keep him awake. He had to keep splashing cold water from the sink onto his face before trying to tackle the next scene.
With a sigh he thought of how, not long ago, he would have been peacefully sleeping at this time. The hands on his watch told him it was nearing three in the morning. It would only be another three or four hours before he'd be sneaking back to Ron's room to keep up the façade that everything was normal, that everything was okay.
.
Ron woke up in the middle of the night with a groan. Half-asleep, he looked at the clock and groaned again. Four in the bloody morning.
He practically fell out of bed and stumbled out of his room, blindly feeling around until his hand hit the stair rail. With a yawn, he made his way down to the bathroom, but when he got there, he realized the door was closed and saw the light shining out from under the crack.
After waiting for a few minutes, he realized there had been no sound coming from inside. Feeling slightly more awake, he stepped close to the door and listened, growing more confused as he heard the turning of a page. Curiously, he opened the door. He was surprised to find Harry sitting on the floor with a book in front of him, looking up at Ron in surprise.
"Harry?" Ron croaked in his sleep-filled voice. "What are you doing? Do you know what time it is?"
Harry quickly got to his feet, avoiding Ron's eyes. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"Why are you reading at four in the morning?" Ron insisted.
"I wasn't tired," Harry said simply. Ron looked at his friend, as if seeing him for the first time. Harry looked like hell; Ron couldn't believe he hadn't noticed it before. Harry must have been declining gradually so that the changes weren't really noticeable to someone who'd been seeing him almost every day. But, in the bright lighting of the bathroom, Ron could see the dark circles under Harry's eyes. He noticed Harry's hand shaking slightly as it held his book and his other hand weakly grabbing the counter to keep him upright. Harry wasn't just tired, he was about to drop from exhaustion.
Everything suddenly clicked for Ron and he wanted to kick himself for not seeing it before. Harry hadn't been sleeping. That was why he never wanted to spend the night at the Burrow; he didn't want anyone to know. It wasn't hard to guess what was keeping the raven-haired boy up at night.
"Right, well, I'll just go upstairs then," Harry muttered, looking at the stairs reluctantly.
"I'll be up in a sec," Ron said, stepping aside to allow Harry to get by.
When he finally did get back to his room, Harry was lying in Ron's extra bed, facing the window.
"Harry?" Ron asked quietly, as he got back into bed.
There was a pause before Harry answered hesitantly, as if he had been trying to decide whether to pretend he was asleep or not.
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay, mate?"
"Of course. I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep. Nothing to worry about," he said, not looking at Ron since he knew the redhead would easily be able to see passed his lies.
"You think you'll be able to sleep now?"
"Yeah, I'm good," Harry said before turning over toward the window. "G'night."
"Night," Ron said with a frown, wishing Harry was facing him so he'd know if he was actually going to sleep or was staring out the window.
Ron tried to stay awake for a while to try to determine if Harry was just pretending, but accidentally drifted off before he could tell.
…
"Well, though we still can't determine the cause, it's obviously connected with something mental, and no, that doesn't mean you're crazy, Harry," Hr. Callahan said with a warm smile as he, Sirius, and Snape were having their usual brainstorming session after one of his testing appointments. Harry still was holding Kleenex to his nose to catch the excess blood.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked worriedly.
"Otherwise it's too coincidental that ninety percent of the time, Harry has these attacks while in for testing," Hr. Callahan expanded. "Now, I'm not suggesting that the problem itself is a physical manifestation of some mental affliction, merely that it must be influenced by mood or stress or something that would correlate to these visits."
"Plain English please," Sirius requested as he often did. He had long ago given up trying to pretend he understood all the medical speak. He wanted to know what was wrong with his godson, even if that meant letting go of some of his pride. Snape always rolled his eyes, but Hr. Callahan was always happy to oblige.
"I have patients who, as a subconscious urge to seek attention or because they so strongly believe they are sick, often can actually make themselves physically ill. The mind is a very powerful thing. I do not, however, believe this the case with Harry. However, I believe his mind or mood is playing a factor in this somehow, since…"
"Since they're mostly happening during testing, okay, got it," Sirius said with a nod.
"It's not that hard to believe, actually," Hr. Callahan continued. "The pure purpose of these appointments is to deal with the attacks and it's easy for the mind to connect the two and associate them with each other. The more Harry has attacks here, the more he expects he will have them here, and perhaps that's influenced whatever this is. Or, they could be brought on by stress, and Merlin knows these appointments are stressful, right Harry?"
"No kidding," Harry grumbled. Testing appointments meant loads of potions that did nothing but make him feel strange and getting horrible headaches that lasted for various amounts of time and with varying amounts of strength as they tried each new thing. Every time they thought they'd found something to at least make them better, they'd be proven wrong at some point when Harry would be hit with a particularly nasty attack. One had been so bad, his nose began gushing blood and wouldn't stop, causing Hr. Callahan to have to give him an emergency injection of blood replenishing potion.
Testing appointments were nothing short of torture sessions.
"I think it would be wise to test this theory before making any assumptions," Snape said. He always challenged or disagreed with whatever Hr. Callahan said, even when they made perfect sense. Harry suspected Snape missed intimidating his students and was using Callahan to relive his favorite pastime, even though Harry didn't think the healer was very intimidated by Snape. Sometimes Harry found himself just wishing Snape would stop being so difficult so the appointments would be over more quickly, or that Hr. Callahan could just give him whatever potion he wanted to try at the time.
"A break from testing?" Hr. Callahan asked Snape for clarification. "Hmm…that might be a good idea, though I am afraid that it won't solve the problem, that the attacks would just become more random or occur at something else Harry finds stressful. Our problem wouldn't be solved and we would have wasted valuable time in trying to figure out what it is."
"As horrified as I am to say it, Snape's right," Sirius stepped up. He rarely put in his advice, leaving it up to the two with more medical knowledge, so he surprised everyone in taking a stance. "It may not solve the problem, but frankly, we're not getting very far through the testing either. I know we're in new territory and that these things take time, and I'm not saying we should stop testing, because we obviously need to figure out what this is and fix it, but I don't think a week off would hurt anything. Maybe it would give you a chance to go over test results or something, Healer, and Harry needs the break. If having a break lets him spend even one week without these horrible attacks, then it's worth it. And if they continue, well, at least he'll be at home and have a break from the potions and stuff. What do you think, Harry? A week off?"
Harry nodded thankfully, wanting to hug Sirius for letting him have a break.
Hr. Callahan smiled and closed his folder with a snap.
"Well, that settles it then. A week off. I'll review what we've found so far and see what I can come up with. If you need me for any reason, you can always floo in where you normally do and find me in my office. If I'm not there, Betsy at reception can connect you with my home floo. But, since I won't see him for a week, do you two mind if I had a quick word alone with Harry?" Hr. Callahan asked.
The two opened their mouths to protest, but Hr. Callahan stopped them.
"Please. Give me five minutes. You can even take my wand," he said, handing his wand to Sirius.
The two gave in and left the two to speak.
"Sorry, they're a bit paranoid," Harry apologized, tossing the tissues away now that the blood flow had stopped.
"Well, it's understandable. They wouldn't want anything to happen to you and if I've heard the story correctly, your godfather has been betrayed by someone he trusted before."
Harry nodded sadly. Hr. Callahan was, of course, talking about Peter Pettigrew.
"Anyway, as you know, I know pretty much everything about your health, except for these attacks of course, and lately I've been noticing a few things that have me worried," he said with a frown.
"What sort of things?" Harry asked worriedly. His immediate thought was that it had something to do with the cancer coming back.
"I've noticed you've lost a bit of weight and that your blood sugar level's dropped a bit. Also, I can't pretend I don't notice how tired you are, and this exhaustion is not good for your health. It's causing your immune system to become weaker than normal and you're energy sources are being depleted so your body doesn't have the energy it needs right now, especially when you're supposed to be recovering from all you went through last year along with dealing with this new thing. Why haven't you been eating or sleeping?" Hr. Callahan asked with concern. "And there's no need to lie about it, because your health is speaking volumes."
Harry shifted uncomfortably. "I…"
"Whatever you say to me will be in held in strictest confidence, Harry. I guarantee it. Healer-patient confidentiality," Callahan assured him.
"I don't know. I just haven't been able to sleep and then I just feel too tired to eat," he said, stretching the truth slightly. He didn't mention the nightmares or the battles to stay awake. He didn't mention the times he'd barely be able to walk from being so tired, or the times he'd fall asleep at the table or on the couch, all for such short periods of time that Sirius had yet to notice anything much. He didn't mention that the thought of eating often appealed to him, but his tiredness wasn't the only thing that would make his stomach turn when actually trying to go through with the task. Often, Sirius would walk into the kitchen and Harry would feel a pang of guilt so intense, he would lose his appetite.
"Would a dreamless sleeping potion help?" Hr. Callahan suggested.
"But Professor Snape said they're highly addictive," Harry said in confusion.
"Professor Snape is right, but some are less so than others, and if I monitor when you take it, and what kind, I think it might help you get back into the habit of sleeping at night. The only thing I'm worried about is that you may become immune to it quickly, especially with all the potions with similar ingredients I'm assuming you took last year with your cancer. But, it's worth a shot."
The healer pulled a few bottles from his cabinet and measured out bits of different ones into tiny vials. With a wave of the wand, they were quickly labeled with a different day of the week.
"Okay, these are all different variations of the same potion, which will make the effect less addictive, and maybe even work a little better. Take the vial that correlates with each night on that night and do not take more than one in one night, even if you aren't feeling any effect with one. If it turns out you're immune to one of them, just continue to take them since one variation might do the trick. If any of them cause any negative side effects, I want you to owl me right away, though I don't expect them to."
"Thank you, sir," Harry said sincerely, taking the small pouch of vials and putting them in his pocket.
"And Harry, I'll leave it up to you whether you tell your godfather about this or not, but if I don't see improvement when you return next week, I'll have no choice but to alert him. Your health is too fragile right now for this," Hr. Callahan said earnestly.
"Okay," Harry said quietly, a little scared. He hoped the potions would work and he'd have to force himself to eat, even if he wasn't hungry. He didn't want Sirius to think he'd been neglecting his health when the man had been so worried over it.
"Have a good break, Harry. I really hope you can have a break from those attacks," the man said with a sympathetic smile.
Harry nodded and left the office, finding Sirius pacing nervously outside while Snape at least looked more dignified, having chosen to sit in a waiting chair.
Harry rolled his eyes. "Sirius, you're so paranoid."
His godfather smiled. "That's my job."
.
When they arrived back at the Lighthouse, somebody was already there.
"Remy?" Harry asked in surprise as he found the werewolf standing in the kitchen. Remus looked over and spotted Harry. His face momentarily flickered in worry before he covered it with a warm smile.
"Come here, kiddo," he said fondly, pulling Harry into a hug.
"But you were going to be gone for three weeks. It hasn't even been two! Why did you cut your holiday short? Is something the matter?" Harry asked in concern.
"No, nothing's wrong. I was just eager to get back," Remus assured him.
Harry suspected there was more to it, but didn't push.
"I told my mum all about you, Har, and she's packed me so full of leftovers to give you, you'll be full for weeks. I've just finished packing them all away," Remus continued.
"You told her about me?" Harry asked in slight bewilderment.
Remus looked at him bizarrely. "Why wouldn't I?"
Harry looked away and shrugged. "So what kind of food did you bring?" he asked, changing the subject.
While Remus showed Harry his mother's dishes, he shot Sirius a look that said they needed to talk.
.
"Why did you really cut your trip short, Moony?" Sirius asked suspiciously when the two of them were sure they were alone.
Remus sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. "I was worried about Harry. It was all I could think about while I was there. He didn't look as if he was dealing with the whole thing that well before I leftt. I just had a feeling that I should get back, and my mum finally told me to go and that I she'd see me over Christmas."
"You came back because you didn't think I could take care of Harry myself, didn't you?" Sirius asked with a tinge of anger in his voice. "Because you think I'm irresponsible and that I don't know how to help him, so you wanted to come back and save the day, right? Well, you're wrong! I know what's best for my godson. He just needs some time for everything to get right again, but he's getting there."
"Sirius, have you gotten a good look at Harry lately?" Remus asked in amazement. "He is not doing well! I think he's lost weight and he looks exhausted! He's gotten worse! What did he tell you when you talked to him about the Dursleys?"
Sirius shifted uncomfortably. "The thing about that is…"
"You haven't talked to him about it?" Remus asked incredulously.
Sirius glared indignantly. "He's not ready to talk yet. I've made it clear I'm here when he wants to talk."
"And meanwhile, Harry's going to drive himself into having a mental collapse or get himself sick," Remus argued sternly.
Sirius opened his mouth to retort but they heard Harry flooing back in.
"We'll discuss this after the Order meeting tonight," Remus vowed quietly before putting on a calm expression to greet Harry.
.
That night, Fred and George were going to be busy at the shop and Ron and Ginny opted to go with them. Harry was sent over to Snape Manor to hang out with Draco during the Order meeting, since it wasn't safe for him to be in Hogsmeade without supervision by an adult. The Order was suspecting that as there had been more time since Voldemort's death, the Death Eaters were more likely to have gotten organized by this point.
Most of the time, the meetings were held at Snape Manor, so Snape could make sure Draco was safe, but tonight, they actually had gone somewhere else, though they, as usual, refused to tell the teenagers anything.
Harry was practicing throwing a fencing foil into the air and catching it, while Draco rummaged around through his trunk, as he often did. Draco's trunk held many secret compartments, and the blonde was constantly looking through them, wondering if he happened to have brought a certain possession to Hogwarts the previous school year. Whenever he couldn't find what he was looking for, he got into a really foul mood.
Snape never seemed to get around to asking someone to go get Draco's belongings from Malfoy Manor, though neither of them knew the man's reasons for it, and so Draco often found himself missing his things, bitter because he should just be able to pop over and get them, but wasn't allowed to.
Draco finished going through his trunk for the fifth time and kicked his trunk angrily.
"No luck, I take it?" Harry asked gently, throwing the foil up and missing it on it's way down.
"You're good," Draco said miserably.
"What were you looking for this time?" asked Harry, ignoring Draco's snappish tone.
"The thing I've been looking for most this summer. I keep thinking that maybe I've missed it. I just can't believe I could've forgotten to bring it to Hogwarts!"
"That book your grandma gave you?"
Draco nodded forlornly. "I just wish I had it. She was the only relative I liked and she only gave me the book and a pendant that went with it. I have the pendant, but the book had stuff she wrote in it. It has stuff I wrote in it. Merlin, it was practically the only thing that held any sentimental value and it's just laying in my room back home, collecting dust and probably being eaten by rats or something," Draco ranted, pacing back and forth. "I just don't get why I can't leave this house for five minutes and go to get it. I mean, Malfoy Manor is empty! My parents are long gone and the ministry's got that place under tight wraps. It's just ridiculous!"
"Well, how about we go and get it?" Harry suggested after a moment's thought.
Draco looked at him in surprise.
"What?"
"Well, our godfathers aren't going to be back for at least three hours. We could just floo over there, grab your stuff, and floo back. I could bring my invisibility cloak, just in case. We'll be gone fifteen minutes, half an hour max. Nobody will ever know."
"Are you seriously suggesting we directly defy our godfathers' orders?" Draco asked in disbelief.
Harry shrugged. "Well, it's up to you," he said, throwing up the fencing foil and catching it smoothly. "I sneak out at night with my invisibility cloak at Hogwarts all the time, so I guess the idea's not the greatest shock to me."
"This is a bit different than sneaking out of the Gryffindor tower," Draco pointed out.
Harry shrugged. "That's why I'm leaving it up to you. How important is the stuff you want to get?"
"Are you asking if I'm materialistic enough to put us in danger just to get some of my stuff?" he asked indignantly.
"That would be the questions at hand."
Harry looked up in awe at the mansion before him.
"Oh my…" he said quietly.
"Shhh, do you want to get caught?" Draco hissed. He looked quite anxious.
"But there's nobody here," Harry whispered.
"You never know," Draco said ominously. "I can't believe we're doing this."
Since Snape's floo was normally cut off to most places, they had to request an hour-long connection with the guest house of Malfoy Manor, since the actual manor was, itself, guarded against most floo connections.
They quietly walked around to a side door and Draco whispered the password to get in. They stepped inside and Harry took the invisibility cloak off them.
As they walked in, their footsteps echoed loudly. The place was amazing and Harry's eyes bounced around, trying to absorb everything.
"Are you sure this is a house?" he asked in awe.
Draco rolled his eyes. "You are so uncivilized." He took hold of Harry's arm and pulled him along. "Come on. My floor is in the South Wing."
"Your floor? You have wings?" Harry asked incredulously.
They quickly made their way through many great halls and winding passages before arriving at a massive staircase.
Draco hurried up the stairs with Harry close behind. It was clear that Draco was anxious to get this over with and get out of the house as soon as possible. Harry understood completely. If he had been back at his old house he would have been just as eager to get back out.
At the top of the staircase there was a long hall with many doors and large portraits of Draco and his parents, in which nobody was smiling.
"Don't you say a word," Draco warned as Harry eyed one of the paintings. Draco looked up at one of him and his father and involuntarily shuddered. "Let's just do this quickly, all right?"
Harry nodded. "You all right?" he asked softly.
"There's just a lot of bad memories," he answered quietly, not looking at Harry.
They walked along the cold hallway in silence.
"Didn't you get lonely?" Harry asked cautiously. "It seems sort of secluded up here."
"You get used to it," Draco said with a shrug. Harry detected a pained tinge to Draco's voice but decided not to push it.
Draco finally pushed open a door with an elegant silver "D" carved into it. Harry gasped at the sight, causing Draco to grin with the pride he couldn't help but feel for his old room.
It was the largest and most elegant bedroom Harry had ever seen, beyond anything he would have guessed possible for a real room. As Draco ran to his wardrobes and began picking his way through his things and shoving them in the bag they had brought, Harry walked around in awe, trailing his hand along the silk bedcovers and the ivory bedposts. The bed was so tall there were two steps up to it. There was a grand fireplace and fur rugs and throws. A chessboard made of jade and silver was set up in the small sitting area with a couch and two large chairs, each looking like heaven to sit on, just like the bed.
There was a large sword collection in a glass case, along with a bunch of fancy-looking fencing foils.
Draco had so many things, far more than Dudley had at the Dursleys. But unlike Harry's nasty cousin, Draco obviously took great care and pride in his possessions. It gave the room a museum-like quality that made Harry slightly uncomfortable.
"I can't find it!" Draco said desperately. "It's practically the only thing I move around in here and I can't remember where I put it!"
"What does it look like?"
"It has a black, leather cover with a raised silver dragon on it," he explained anxiously. "But the back part's a journal and I've written some personal stuff in there, so if you find it, don't read anything in it, promise? Don't open it."
"Promise," Harry vowed before looking around on shelves and doing a quick search through the drawers. There was a section of the room that was raised with three steps up to it, which Harry found incredibly exciting.
He walked up the stairs to the small area and looked through a desk to no avail. There was a huge display case filled with tons of trophies of all different colors and sizes, including one standing next to the case that was nearly as tall as Harry.
"Merlin, are all these trophies for fencing?" Harry asked as he continued his search.
"Yup," Draco called from inside his closet.
"I never knew you were that good at it," Harry called as he looked through a stack of books.
"Well I am."
"Modest too!" Harry called with a chuckle. He walked back down the stairs and bit his lip thoughtfully. He walked over to the chairs and began looking under the throws and blankets. He threw one off and grinned.
"Found it!" he announced, picking up the journal.
Draco emerged from the closet. As he saw the book, he sighted with relief. Harry gently placed it in the bag and Draco closed the top.
"All right, let's get out of…"
Draco was cut off as voices were heard coming down the hall. The two boys froze. Small explosions got closer and closer.
"You, search that room. You search that one," came a commanding voice they both recognized in horror. It was Lucius Malfoy.
Wiccan PussyKat: lol, yes that made sense. Mon amie means "my friend." And Harry definitely does think it's him that made them move, and in a way he's right, but he should take it as a compliment instead of feeling guilty about it, but what can you do with our poor unconfident friend. Lol, I'm glad you despise Kota's ex-friends. Yes, that was a very humiliating experience for Harry, because he really didn't want his friends to know how he was in primary school. Now, unfortunately, he might be even more prone to believing they pity him. Yeah, that part was poorly worded and a few people seemed to think that Ginny and Hermione were laughing at Harry, but NO, they were not at all. Far from it, actually...more like about ready to rip off the Muggle girls' heads with their teeth. Lol, yes, bubble wrap is muchos fun, it's crazy. Lol. Kota's actually not going to be in much more of the fic so you don't have to worry too much about her being insufferably cheerful; she will be, but just off screen so to speak. Sirius figured that Harry was probably down in his room for a nightmare, but didn't realize it had been an ongoing thing and didn't know what to do about it. He's very confused and clueless. I know, don't you love the irony of Harry, sweet, innocent, adorable Harry thinking he's going to end up like his bastard uncle? Unless I am planning on having serial killer Harry, which would certainly be a surprise lol. Glad you liked the chapter!
Tish: Lol, yes, I sacrifice much of my time toward pleasing you guys, but that's okay, because I happen to love writing. Lol, I live in this weird sort of town, where it's suburbia in small bits of the valleys, and farms and hills and mountains, fields and woods and all the like. And we do have mountain lions. We also have deer and wild turkeys that roam the streets, and there's this small grassy hill near my house that has cows on it that start mooing at dawn and I'm tempted to go make hamburger out of them at those times. I unfortunately know a lot of Stacys. I've always pictured Harry as cute as well. I mean, his dad was the most popular guy in school, so he had to be good looking, and Harry looks a lot like him but with sexy eyes. Yup, another made up movie; I pop 'em out like crazy, lol. Hahaha, yeah, isn't that the funniest mental image of the Stenson parents coming home to several pairs of crazy snogging teens in their living room? I can just imagine them sort of standing there in shock before Mr. Stenson spies Kota and George and exits to go get a shotgun. Ah can't answer any questions of Draco or Sirius or the like. It is possible that Harry would have talked to Sirius if Remus hadn't gotten to him first. Have you ever heard that saying "the road to hell was paved with good intentions." Yeah, that should be the quote of the story. Lol. I'm glad you like Flawed because well, I like it better, probably because I know what's going to happen, and I'm also worried that people will be disappointed with the sequel. I used to love those insanely high ponytails too! They were quite fun. Review responses do take forever, believe me, hours in fact, but I love doing them anyways. I'm weird like that. Lol. Glad you appreciate the effort though!!
Becky: lol, I usually only respond to reviews from my latest chapter, but yours made me so happy, I decided to put in a response for you anyways. I'm so glad you liked the Stensons and didn't get the annoying-new-character vibe (I know exactly what you're talking about and tried really hard to keep the Stensons from being that way). I always felt bad for Eloise as well, which is one reason I decided to bring out her character a little more. And Neville's one of my favorite characters of all. I'm with you in rooting for the underdogs. I'm glad you like the fic, despite the ships, but I'm glad you found them to be not so annoying. I'm always glad to make my readers cry, lol. I haven't heard from you about the sequel so I hope you're liking this fic so far. Thank you so much for your wonderful review and I hope you pop one in soon to tell me what you think of Flawed.
Myr Halcyon: I like H/G for canon and can't wait for JK to put them together, but I don't really for fics. I think there might have been only once or twice I've come across one that I really like. I started out as and H/G shipper in fanfic reading, but I've sort of lost interest, except for in my own fics, lol. I'm sorry you've experienced what Harry's going through and I'm glad you've gotten through it now. Hey, you never know who you can trust, Anna might be a midget Death Eater in disguise! Lol. Keep on sleuthing! I think I should make a bumper sticker out of that!
Marci018: unfortunately, Harry would never ask Sev for a dreamless sleep potion, because he doesn't want anyone to know he's not sleeping. Ron's holding onto a lot of past anger toward Draco, and he doesn't want to believe that he's changed. Plus, in all the encounters he's had with him so far, Draco hasn't really acted very differently toward Ron either. Neither is really putting in the effort and jealousy of each other's friendship with Harry is probably a big factor in it. No, I didn't write Sirius and Remus as a couple in this story. Remus doesn't live with Sirius and Harry. But if you'd like to imagine them as a couple, go right ahead lol.
Angel74: Thank you! Lol, they all make sense in my head. Yes I am building up to something, and don't worry, I would be shocked if anyone guessed exactly what it is, even though I'm casually sprinkling bits of clues and building up the foundation for it. I can't answer most of your questions without giving things away. People are slowly starting to realize that Harry's not doing as well as he'd like people to believe, but they're all a bit lost as to what to or if they even should do anything. Btw, loved the last chapter of your fic and can't wait for more!! Oh and I forgot to say in my last review, that I didn't even notice that your title was similar to one of my chapter titles, and no, I don't mind at all. Only occasionally do I think about my chapter titles for more than a fifteen seconds. Update soon!!