Chapter Five:

"What the hll did Patricia tell you last month?" I shouted into the phone. "And don't think you can get away with not telling me anything- because if you don't, I'll come over there and try-"

"Calm down! Calm down!" Jenny said, sounding surprised. "Is this Biff again?"

"Hll yeah. Now answer my question because I drive over there and beat it out of ya!"

"You don't have a car, Biff." she said in a know-it-all sounding voice.

"Then I'll walk over there." I said.

"You'd walk all the way to my house in the dark, just to find out what your wife, whom you hate, told me?" she sounded surprised again. I sat down on the bed that used to be both of ours.

"I don't hate her." I said honestly.

"Oh really?" she said, nearly barking at me. "Then why do you cause her so much pain every day?"

"Look," I said as calmly as I could. "I don't know what the hll is going on. That's why I called you."

"No duh," she said in an aggravated tone. "Fine. I'll tell you. She never said she didn't want you to know anyway." She paused to clear her throat. Why were all the people I was talking to these days clearing their throats so much? "But before I tell you anything, you must know she was crying most of the time."

I rolled my eyes. "Big surprise." I said sarcastically.

"You know, I could hang up anytime..."

"Whatever." I was still in a bad mood after three weeks.

"She told me how she pretty much knows you're still after Lorraine- which I already knew... EVERYBODY knows that," she paused, but I didn't say anything. "She says that she thinks you're cheating on her when you go to the McFly house..."

I snorted at that. "Lorraine won't have anything to do with me, Butthead."

"That's what I told her. She thought so too, but she wasn't sure," she stopped for a minute, and it sounded as if she was talking to one of her kids.

"Hey, Butthead, stop talking, can't you see she's busy?" I yelled into the phone. I wasn't sure if whoever it was heard me, but a couple seconds later Jenny said, "BIFF!" but then she just sighed again. "Figures."

"So what else did she say?" I asked quickly.

"She said that her mother suggested a divorce and that she had a man who wanted to meet her, and she was trying to convince her that he was better than you."

I was about to respond to that, but she instantly started to talk again. "And you know what, Biff? You should be ashamed of yourself. You treat her like dirt and she still sticks up for you. Then she tells you about it and you still treat her like dirt. I-"

"How do you know about that?"

"She stopped by today."

"She did?" I suddenly felt angrier than I was before. Now I had to find out more from this butthead. I was hoping she'd tell me everything quickly so I could hang up. "Sht."

"Anyway, I'm surprised you want to do so much to find out what she said. She already told you."

"She obviously didn't tell me enough."

"Why do you want to find out, anyway?" she asked me, in a snobby sounding voice. I would have hung up by then, but something stopped me.

"I miss her." I finally said.

"Really? I'm surprised you didn't just walk over to the McFlys." She said in an even more snobbish voice.

"Well, maybe I don't want to!" I shouted into the receiver. Those were the words I thought I would never say. There was a shocked silence, until I said, "If I could have my own way, I would be able to walk over to Lorraine's like this was no problem, and probably have a couple other women over here tonight, but I can't."

For a second I thought she had hung up. "Hello? Anybody-"

"Yes, yes, I'm here," she said irritatingly. "Well, Biff, there's only one more thing I need to ask you."

"Now what is it?"

Her voice suddenly changed, and it almost sounded as if she was smiling. "Do you think that you can't do any of those things... because you're in love?"

For some reason her question sounded like a different language to me. For a few moments I didn't say anything.

"Come on, I want to know how you feel." she said to me, still sounding like she was smiling. That new voice irritated me more than her snobbish voice. For a few more moments I didn't say anything.

"Well, I take that silence as a yes," she started to laugh again. "We need a plan, Biff. Wow... Who would have thought I'd be helping Biff Tannen get his wife back?"

"Well, I..." I interrupted.

"Hmm?"

"Well... I already had a plan in mind."

"Really? What is it?" she sounded excited this time, and in a matter of minutes I was telling my idea to someone I had started to dislike.

"You see, Patricia told me that the first night you two met, at the dance, she knew you were a big bad bully, but she felt as if you could learn from each other. She knew you still had that crush on Lorraine, but as time passed, she started to think you really did love her," Jenny explained to me when I called her the next day. "She didn't think you'd go through with the wedding and all if you didn't. She kept hoping that you'd remember her anniversary, but when you started heading over to the McFlys so much and forgetting the anniversaries, she knew that something was wrong. She started to get very unhappy as Biff Jr. ended up just like you, and when she talked to her mother on her vacation, she saw a window of opportunity to actually meet a guy who's meant for her." I heard her paused for a minute and I heard some background noises.

"What?" I asked.

"If we miss our opportunity, she might be whisked away by someone else."

"Great." I said sarcastically.

"But I have good news," she said cheerfully. "I figured you wouldn't remember this, but it's your daughter's birthday."

"Really? It is?" I headed over to the calendar, and when I looked at today's date it was circled in red pen, and it did say it was her birthday. "She's turning... what... sixteen?"

"Seventeen, Biff." She sighed again. "You've missed so many birthdays, Biff."

"I know... I know. But don't we have more important things to worry about right now?" I talked in an aggravated voice again, wondering why she told me about her birthday when we were supposed to be talking about my problem with my wife.

"Well, I figured that maybe you should help with the surprise party we're planning." she suggested.

"Surprise party? What surprise party?"

"It was Patricia's idea. She told me that it would help her and her daughter get the divorce off their minds. I think it would help you too. You'd be too busy to think about it."

"Well, maybe... But I don't like being busy." I suddenly heard a strange noise in the phone, as if someone had hung up, but I could still hear Jenny.

"Uh oh," she said. Her voice sounded distant.

"What the hll was that?"

"Well, Patricia was stopping by today, and I guess she..."

"What?"

"She couldn't help but eavesdrop on our conversation, and I guess she didn't like what she heard."

"Oh great," I used my sarcastic voice again. "Eh, whatever. I guess you can count me in for the surprise party. What the hll? Maybe it will do some good."

"Who knows, Biff," she said and I could tell she was smiling. "Maybe it would."

I hung up the phone, doubting the party would do anything good for me. At the moment, after hearing that I upset Patricia again, all I planned on doing that day was bullying McFly around, which was the only thing I could think of doing. I was interrupted, however, when Jenny actually stopped by my house. I had never seen her before, but I recognized her voice when I opened the door.

"What the hll are you doing here?"

"That's not a very polite way of greeting someone who's helping you, is it?" she winked at me but I only rolled my eyes.

"What do you want?"

"We were getting along so well yesterday." she said, shaking her head. She dumped a few boxes of records onto the table. "I got these for your daughter's surprise party, but I thought you'd like to take a look at them."

When I looked at the records I remembered a few things from the past that I had forgotten. I was a fan of music. One song that I liked- called "Papa Loves Mambo," played when I was on my way to the Enchantment Under the Sea Dance. I went through the box to see if they had it, but most of it was music from the sixties.

"Are you sure she wants old music her mom use to listen to at her party?"

She shrugged. "I thought I'd bring them over, just to see if she would like any of them. I don't know much about your daughter. Who knows, maybe your wife is listening to one of them now, and your daughter is dancing next to her, asking when the song came out," she laughed a little. "She'll be surprised, I bet."

"Yeah... IF that was what they were doing." I pointed out.

"Right. IF that was what they were doing."