Michelle began to calm down a little as Tony's words soothed her. "Hasn't any of this freaked you out at all Tony?"
"Of course Chelle. I've never been more freaked out then I was last night – it scared the hell out of me that I was going to lose you. I feel sick when I think about it all."
Michelle tried to turn her head a little so that she could see his face. "But you seem to have it so together – how are you so strong....."
Tony answered before Michelle had barely finished. "Because I have to be."
Michelle was a little surprised by Tony's sharp answer. "Why do you have to be?"
He tightened his grip on Michelle and stroked her hair a little harder. "Because I want to look after you." He kissed the side of her cheek and then carried on with her hair. Michelle knew she had hit a spot with Tony but she wasn't sure why – his answers were so short and direct and he sounded so adamant about them.
"Sweetie you are looking after me, but that doesn't mean you can't freak out too – I want to be able to look after you as well Tony."
Tony's voice and tone stayed the same but she could feel the muscles through-out his body tense up. "No Michelle. I am here for you – I am taking care of you."
"But Tony...."
"Michelle this is the way it is.....it is my right to be looking after you – things are going to be different, I won't let you down." He kissed her cheek again and then very gently kissed her bad eye.
Michelle grabbed his hand and then started to sit up. Tony helped her supporting her back as she moved. Once up she was able to turn to face Tony better, she needed to be able to see his face. She was very concerned with the way Tony was acting. "What do you mean it is your right? Why would you even say you won't let me down?.....it's not something I am worried about Tony."
With Michelle sitting up Tony almost didn't really know what to do, it was difficult to hug her when she was shifting around. He got off the bed and began to start fixing her blankets and straightening out her bed. He kept his eyes focused on what he was doing and didn't look up when he spoke. "As your boyfriend it is completely my right and responsibility to look after you and I am taking that seriously. I want you to feel safe with me again. Michelle we both know how much I have let you down, there is no denying that but that won't happen again. Anyways let's talk about something else."
"Tony..." She reached out for him to take her hand. "You haven't let me down babe; I don't want you to think that at all. I feel safe with you....in fact in your arms is about the only place I do feel safe at the moment."
He took her hand and she pulled on it so that he would come in closer. "I am just so lucky to have you sweetie..." He smiled at her and then gave her a kiss on the lips. "Michelle all of this happened at my place. I'll never forgive myself for what happened to you – I should have kicked their asses before they ever had a chance to lay 1 finger on you. I...."
Michelle cut him off, "Please don't say that, it wasn't your fault, this didn't just happen to me it happened to both of us."
Tony pulled out of Michelle's embrace and started to pace around the room. He was so assertive when he spoke, like he was so sure of everything he was saying – slowly his voice began to rise. "You are my girlfriend Michelle....I am meant to be your protector. You gave yourself to me and put all of your trust in me – expecting that I would keep you safe, you know....I am suppose to be the one person in the world that never makes you cry or hurt. I let you down though and you did get hurt and I didn't keep you safe....."
Michelle slowly slipped off the bed so that she was standing. She was very unstable on her feet so she clung to the bed. "The situation was out of your control Tony – there was nothing you could have done, they had a gun. As soon as you saw a chance to take them down you took it and you did – you saved me from him Tony. I feel so safe with you. I gave myself to you baby because you are the one I am so deeply in love with. Giving myself to you was easy to do because you are the ONLY person in the world who completes me. When you put your arms around me I feel so special and warm and safe. You have seen all night Tony how much better I am when you have got me wrapped up with your body - you must have noticed that?"
Tony had tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't expected to have to deal with any of this. He was so much better off looking after Michelle – having to face this made him feel so sick and weak. "Yeah, I know that during the night you wanted to be held close. I just don't understand...I mean when I followed the ambulance to the hospital I wasn't even sure if you would see me or not. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world when you let me hold you. How after everything that happened could you possibly feel good in my arms Chelle? Before we came to the hospital you wouldn't even let me touch you."
Michelle wanted to be able to touch Tony but she was feeling really dizzy and unsteady just trying to stay standing. She took a couple very small steps in his direction. "Tony I didn't let you touch me then because I thought you were going to break things off with me. I was angry at you because you were so angry with me for picking myself. When you first came in I was so frustrated because I was in so much pain and I couldn't get comfortable. You climbed up onto the bed with me and through your touch somehow managed to calm me down and make me feel better. I love you so much, just thinking about you makes me feel good – so when we actually touch there is just no better feeling in the world Tony."
Tony looked like he was taking it all in. He had stopped pacing but he was standing with his arms crossed and his face was becoming red and puffy from his crying. He turned so his back was against the wall and then he slid down it so that he was sitting on the ground in the corner of the room. As he was sliding down he looked at Michelle and asked her, "Really? Do you really feel like that?"
Michelle had never wanted to hold and comfort Tony more than she did now. She kept trying to push through the pain and take some more steps to get closer to him. She was in a double room, the other bed was empty but it was just huge and a long way to the other side. "I really do Tony. Words just don't express how good you feel – Tony you are perfect for me, so perfect. I mean look how crazy I've gone in the last couple hours just thinking I was going to lose you!!"
"You are so perfect for me Chelle, that's why I feel like I am falling apart. When I think about last night I feel so sick and guilty. I have been trying to handle it but, but I don't know how...."
A nurse walked in and was completely shocked to find Tony hunched up in the corner in a total mess and Michelle standing in the middle of the room. She immediately could see that Michelle was more than struggling to be standing there like that.
Michelle could see how angry the nurse looked to see her out of bed like that, but she didn't care – she had to get to Tony.
"What is going on in here? Michelle what are you doing out of bed?"
"Nothing is going on....I was just going over to Tony, that's all."
"Why can't Tony just come to you?"
Tony had his head in his hands, obviously not wanting the nurse to see his face, but he started saying, "I'm so sorry, I don't want you to get into trouble. I'm sorry, I just fell apart here."
"Don't you apologise Tony, don't you dare apologise. I am not in trouble. You just stay there and I am going to come to you sweetheart." Michelle faced the nurse and tried to motion how upset Tony was so could she please just let them be. Unfortunately the nurse had been working most of the night and was extremely tired and in a bad mood. She had a reputation around the hospital as being very insensitive.
"Michelle I don't care how upset he is, you are my patient and all that matters is that you are not in bed like you should be. I want you to go back to your bed."
Michelle couldn't believe what a bitch the nurse just was about Tony. Why would she hurt his feelings like that for no reason at all? "No, I am not going back to bed yet, I will go when I have done what I need to do. I am fine."
She sighed extremely loudly to let Michelle know how much she couldn't be bothered dealing with this. "You are not fine, not even close. You have gone completely pale, your eye's are barley open, your body is shaking and swaying and you are hunched over in pain. Now go back to your bed and I'll get an injection for pain."
When Tony heard the nurse start listing all the things wrong with Michelle he lifted his head, "I'll come to you Michelle and help you back into bed." He was just about to get up when Michelle spoke so loudly to him she was almost yelling.
"Don't you move Tony – you stay right where you wanted to be. This time I am coming to you, I mean it. I will be fine – I might be slow but I am on my way to look after you, nothing else is more important right now."
The nurse was more than pissed off now, especially when Tony listened to Michelle and sat back down. Michelle was completely ignoring her orders. She pointed her finger at Tony, "what are you doing? I thought you would be taking care of her, not making her traipse all over the place.....you should know better."
Michelle watched Tony and swore she could hear his heart beak into pieces. Considering the reasons why Tony was so upset at the moment the nurse could not have possibly picked anything worse to say. From the other side of the room Michelle could see that his body was shaking violently and he had the worst look of devastation across his face that she had ever seen. He began to get up again. "Tony, please listen to me, I am begging you to stay where you are – exactly like I just said to you before." Tony was too exhausted to argue and he was only going to do what Michelle wanted him to do – he was more concerned about making her happy not the nurse. He nodded at Michelle and sat back down sinking his head into his hands again.
Michelle now turned to the nurse, "Just who do you think you are? How dare you speak to him like that, you have no idea what is going on here. You should leave."
"Michelle, it doesn't matter what is going on – after what you have been through you need help. You need to be resting in bed. I will not be going anywhere, I am in charge here and I am telling you what you need to do."
"Tony went through it all as well you know."
"I did not know that. I'm sorry to hear that."
"Well now you know, maybe now instead of being so completely insensitive you could understand a little better how important this situation might be. You are not in charge of me, I don't need to take orders from anyone. Now, I'll take the injection but I'll have it here as I am not going back to bed yet."
Tony was hanging on Michelle's every word, he was so impressed to hear her standing up for herself and him. From how upset Michelle had been earlier he thought her confidence in herself had been so shot, he was surprised to hear her back to her kick-ass assertive self again. He was so proud of her.
Alex and Jessica had walked into the room at the same time as Dr. Sims just in time to hear Michelle saying 'you are not in charge of me etc...' All three of them were horrified and stopped dead in their tracks. Dr Sims looked at Tony, then the nurse and then Michelle. "What is going on here? Alex and Jessica, I ask that you stay where you are until we sort this out." He knew they would want to go to Tony but he couldn't have them getting in the middle of whatever was going on.
"Doctor, I found Michelle out of bed trying to walk across the room to Tony. She is shaking and swaying, pale, hunched over in pain and can barely open up her eyes yet she refuses to get back into bed. Michelle is by no means well enough to be out of bed."
Dr Sims looked at Michelle and could see that everything the nurse had said was true. He knew what Michelle did for a job and that meant she had to be very responsible and have a lot of common sense. After all the time he had spent with Tony, he figured there must be a good reason as to why he was on the floor and Michelle was trying to get to him. "Michelle you really should be in bed, why won't you listen to your nurse?"
"Because...Tony is having a really tough time at the moment and for once I am going to be here for him. All I wanted to do was go over to him and comfort him just like he has been doing for me all night. Tony went through everything last night as well. We are the only ones that went through it so we both know what each other needs or how we are feeling. I need to be the one who goes to Tony. Doctor, this is so much more important than how I am feeling right now. I am not listening to the nurse because she has been completely rude and insensitive to Tony. I don't need to put up with that and I am certainly not going to stand for her talking to Tony the way she has."
Both Alex and Jessica felt so pleased and happy to see Michelle defending their son like that. It was very settling to them as parents to see just how much she really loved him. They felt without a doubt that Michelle was just perfect for Tony.
Tony spoke up, "Chelle you are just the sweetest, but it's not worth all the trouble it's causing. I'll be right, just look after yourself and I'll come over to you when you have had your injection, ok?"
"No, it's not ok Tony. This is what I am talking about. You have stood by my side through out everything, every time I just look like I am about to shed a tear or something you rush to my side, hold on to me as tight as you can and don't let go until you know I am feeling better. I know how upset you are Tony, I see the pain in your eyes and I am so worried about what you were saying before. It's so important to me that I can come to you and offer you my support."
Dr Sims felt shivers up his spine. From all the moments he had witnessed of Michelle and Tony during the night he thought they truly had a special relationship. There was so much love, and they were just so good for each other. He knew that as long as these 2 had each other – they would get through all of this just fine. He walked over to Michelle and put his arm around her and began to lead her over to Tony. Everyone watched in silence as they started to make their way across the room – they were moving so incredibly slowly because Michelle was struggling so much. After just 4 steps she had to stop for a break. The pain was almost unbearable. Dr. Sims told the nurse to go and get the pain injection immediately. Because of the locations of all her injuries it would be too difficult to pick her up and carry her. He told her to wait until he could give her the injection before they continued.
He walked over to Tony, crouched down and spoke in his ear so no one else could hear, "Are you ok Tony? Is there anything I can get or do for you?" Tony whispered back, "Thanks doc, you were right before – I really needed to talk. I just need Chelle. I feel so silly just sitting here when she is struggling so much, can't I just go to her?" Dr Sims nodded, "it is a matter of principle now to let her come to you. As hard as it is for her she wants to be able to come to you and offer you everything you have to her. I think it is important for you both that she can do this for you." He stood back up and waved for Alex and Jessica to come over to Tony while he went back to Michelle. He pulled over a chair and had her sit on it so that he could administer the injection.
Alex and Jessica both got down next to Tony. Jessica put her hand on the side of her son's face. "You are going to get through this honey. I know how hard this is but you will both get through this."
"This all hurts so much. Why does it have to be like this? I feel like I am falling apart."
Alex squeezed his shoulder, "Tony its ok to break down – especially when you have someone like Michelle who wants more than anything to catch you. You have been through so much, and you need to talk it out son. If you do that, I promise it will begin to hurt less."
Jessica walked over to Michelle who was just about ready to start making her way again. The injection was making its way through her body making her feel warm and finally giving her a break by easing the pain. Jessica spoke into her ear, "I admire you so much Michelle. I respect what you are doing to get to Tony and Alex and I thought it was just beautiful how you stood up for him. Thank you Chelle. Please know how much we are here for you."
Michelle smiled at Jessica, "Thanks." Michelle giggled a little "I am getting there, very slowly but I am working on it – just hope he isn't asleep before I make it." They both let out a small laugh.
Dr. Sims helped Michelle up and they began once again to make their way to Tony. She was a lot better this time around. Once they were only a couple steps away Alex and Jessica cleared the room to offer them privacy. Dr. Sims told them to call if they needed anything and then he too left – finally Michelle and Tony were alone.
Tony looked up with a smile on his face and extended his hands out to Michelle. She smiled back at him and then took her finally step. She lowered her body and fell into his arms. She held him so tightly for a couple of minutes then she pulled back but cupped his face with both of her hands and kissed his forehead and nose. She ran her hands back through his hair.
Michelle curled up and sat on his lap so she could put one arm right around his neck and use the other to touch his chest or face – this way she could look into his eyes as well. "Talk to me sweetheart. You said you felt guilty – what for? Tell me why you were so worried about being so strong?"
Tony lowered his eyes. "Chelle I don't know how to deal with everything that happened. I feel like you should have left me after all this but because you haven't yet then this is my chance to make up for everything I let you down with. I just hate this, I hate it so much Chelle – things were just so perfect with us before all this happened, it's not fair......I don't want it to ruin us."
"Hey, hey, to start with, there is no way I should have left you over all this and there is certainly no way I am going to. Remember how much I told you I love being in your arms?" Tony nodded and so she continued. "Things were perfect between us before but there is no way I am going to let this ruin us. I think we both need to realise and believe that we both love each other far too much to walk away – and neither of us are even thinking along those lines.....don't you think?"
"Yeah, you're right. God I want you know and believe how much I love you and that I'm not going anywhere. Let's agree on that!"
Michelle put her hand flat on his chest and began to rub it. "Baby we can learn to deal with all this together. I don't how to either."
"It's different for me Chelle. I feel so guilty for what you have been through. I can't fathom how you could put your life on the line for me.....don't you understand that you are too important to do that...."
"Tony, you are the most important person in the world to me. I mean you actually have a family - imagine what it would do to them if you were hurt."
"Chelle my parents are hurting so much watching you go through this. You might not have the conventional family baby, but you certainly have people around you that love you so much. All of your friends, my parents think the world you and then there is me – I know I could never live without you – you are my princess."
Michelle kissed the top of his head and rubbed his chest harder. Tony continued, "Watching my princess in so much pain for the sake of my own well-being is the hardest thing I have ever had to comprehend...." Tears rolled down his cheeks.
Michelle started to wipe away his tears. "Aww Tony I'm going to be fine. I'll heal in no time....."
Tony lifted her top to reveal her black stomach. "This is for me Chelle. LOOK at your stomach." He began to sob. He pulled her gown up to the stitches on her thigh. "And this – I mean you were so out cold you didn't even know you had been sliced with a knife. You can barely walk baby......all for me..."
Michelle couldn't stand seeing and hearing Tony like this. She couldn't keep up with the tears rolling down his face. "Forget about it Tony, I don't care about any of this – you know I would take a million more of these marks for you my Tony..."
"But you do care Chelle. Look how worried you were that I would be turned off by how you looked. You lost so much confidence. I feel so guilty when I have to sit and watch you blame yourself for the entire thing when really it was my fault. You are MY girl and it is MY responsibility to look after you, how could you ever forgive me for letting you down like that?"
That was all so much for Michelle to take in, she didn't really know where to start. She hated those men so much for doing this to them. Tony's face was so puffy and red. His eyes were swollen and he looked so lost. She was fumbling to find words and the tears from her own eyes were making it harder and harder to see. Tony grabbed both of her shoulders and turned her body in towards him more. His voice had become desperate.
"Chelle I am so sorry you got hurt, I am so sorry you are in pain. You know I love your whole body right? You know how sexy I find you and there is nothing ever that could turn me off you." Tony didn't give Michelle anytime to respond, he just kept going. "You know that I'll always do everything I can to keep you safe and look after you right? You know you can count on me to always be there for you. You have to know I'll never ever let anyone ever hurt you again. And that you are never going to lose me."
Michelle put her fingers on his mouth to stop him. "STOP Tony, don't do this – please dear God don't do this." His body was shaking. He stopped talking but his mouth stayed open and he was breathing very heavily. "I know all those things sweetie. There all things I love about you – and I have never ever doubted how much I can count on you and how much you will always look after me. I promise I believe you when you say you are not turned off by me."
"Because I am so in love with your body..."
Michelle had to laugh a little and his face softened a little. She leaned in a little closer and spoke quietly, "that's right....you are in love with my body."
"And because I get so turned on every time I just see you..."
Tony's mouth was still hanging open and his breathing was still heavy. "So how turned on do you get when I do this?...." With his mouth open she stuck her tongue straight in to meet his. He responded passionately kissing her back and putting his hands behind her head and running them through her hair. Their heads tipped from side to side and they kept their lips wide trying to reach as much of each other as possible. Sometimes their tongues would meet and wrestle for a moment before their lips caught up. It was such a desperate kiss – they were both panting and moaning. In between kisses Michelle spoke to him, "all I need is you Tony."
Tony stopped the second her heard this – that was exactly what he had needed to hear. He looked at her face which had now gone really red, especially around her mouth from his scratchy stubble. "You mean that?"
She clung onto his chest as tight as she could. "Tony, I don't just want you, I need you. I need you so much." Tony smiled. This was so important to him. He had been desperately wishing that Michelle would need him. It was the best feeling in the world to feel needed. "That is the best thing you have said to me."
"God Tony, I've felt that way for the longest time about you. Even before we got together.....The day of the bomb, when we kissed for the very first time – when I was in the hall way and you came down to me, I needed you so so much. After you had hugged me, it wasn't enough I needed more of you Tony. You are everything to me, I need you more than anything else in this world."
He kissed her again, this time tenderly and slowly. "I feel the same way beautiful." Tony started to slowly get up, "Chelle wrap your legs around me and then put your arms around my neck." Tony was so strong he easily stood up taking Michelle's weight with him. Once up he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Does this hurt you honey?"
"A little, but not nearly as much as walking."
"Well I'll get you over there quick then." He very carefully walked straight over to her bed and then very gently lay her down. He kissed her before standing up again. "Does that feel better?"
"Yes thanks, it's good to lie down. Are you tired Tony?"
"Yeah, I think I have finally worn myself out. Michelle I really want you to sleep, you need too."
Michelle wondered if this meant Tony was about to leave to go home to bed. She didn't want him to go. Tony was feeling the same way – he didn't want to leave her. There was no way he could sleep when he would be laying there wondering if she was ok or not.
"Michelle....what if I was to sleep here with you?
She tapped the bed, "I would love that – I might actually sleep then."
Tony slid his shoes off and put his jacket over a chair. He climbed onto the bed and lay on his side, Michelle was on her back – they held hands and whispered sweet nothings to each other. Michelle was the first to fall asleep, Tony was right behind her.
"Of course Chelle. I've never been more freaked out then I was last night – it scared the hell out of me that I was going to lose you. I feel sick when I think about it all."
Michelle tried to turn her head a little so that she could see his face. "But you seem to have it so together – how are you so strong....."
Tony answered before Michelle had barely finished. "Because I have to be."
Michelle was a little surprised by Tony's sharp answer. "Why do you have to be?"
He tightened his grip on Michelle and stroked her hair a little harder. "Because I want to look after you." He kissed the side of her cheek and then carried on with her hair. Michelle knew she had hit a spot with Tony but she wasn't sure why – his answers were so short and direct and he sounded so adamant about them.
"Sweetie you are looking after me, but that doesn't mean you can't freak out too – I want to be able to look after you as well Tony."
Tony's voice and tone stayed the same but she could feel the muscles through-out his body tense up. "No Michelle. I am here for you – I am taking care of you."
"But Tony...."
"Michelle this is the way it is.....it is my right to be looking after you – things are going to be different, I won't let you down." He kissed her cheek again and then very gently kissed her bad eye.
Michelle grabbed his hand and then started to sit up. Tony helped her supporting her back as she moved. Once up she was able to turn to face Tony better, she needed to be able to see his face. She was very concerned with the way Tony was acting. "What do you mean it is your right? Why would you even say you won't let me down?.....it's not something I am worried about Tony."
With Michelle sitting up Tony almost didn't really know what to do, it was difficult to hug her when she was shifting around. He got off the bed and began to start fixing her blankets and straightening out her bed. He kept his eyes focused on what he was doing and didn't look up when he spoke. "As your boyfriend it is completely my right and responsibility to look after you and I am taking that seriously. I want you to feel safe with me again. Michelle we both know how much I have let you down, there is no denying that but that won't happen again. Anyways let's talk about something else."
"Tony..." She reached out for him to take her hand. "You haven't let me down babe; I don't want you to think that at all. I feel safe with you....in fact in your arms is about the only place I do feel safe at the moment."
He took her hand and she pulled on it so that he would come in closer. "I am just so lucky to have you sweetie..." He smiled at her and then gave her a kiss on the lips. "Michelle all of this happened at my place. I'll never forgive myself for what happened to you – I should have kicked their asses before they ever had a chance to lay 1 finger on you. I...."
Michelle cut him off, "Please don't say that, it wasn't your fault, this didn't just happen to me it happened to both of us."
Tony pulled out of Michelle's embrace and started to pace around the room. He was so assertive when he spoke, like he was so sure of everything he was saying – slowly his voice began to rise. "You are my girlfriend Michelle....I am meant to be your protector. You gave yourself to me and put all of your trust in me – expecting that I would keep you safe, you know....I am suppose to be the one person in the world that never makes you cry or hurt. I let you down though and you did get hurt and I didn't keep you safe....."
Michelle slowly slipped off the bed so that she was standing. She was very unstable on her feet so she clung to the bed. "The situation was out of your control Tony – there was nothing you could have done, they had a gun. As soon as you saw a chance to take them down you took it and you did – you saved me from him Tony. I feel so safe with you. I gave myself to you baby because you are the one I am so deeply in love with. Giving myself to you was easy to do because you are the ONLY person in the world who completes me. When you put your arms around me I feel so special and warm and safe. You have seen all night Tony how much better I am when you have got me wrapped up with your body - you must have noticed that?"
Tony had tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn't expected to have to deal with any of this. He was so much better off looking after Michelle – having to face this made him feel so sick and weak. "Yeah, I know that during the night you wanted to be held close. I just don't understand...I mean when I followed the ambulance to the hospital I wasn't even sure if you would see me or not. I felt like the luckiest guy in the world when you let me hold you. How after everything that happened could you possibly feel good in my arms Chelle? Before we came to the hospital you wouldn't even let me touch you."
Michelle wanted to be able to touch Tony but she was feeling really dizzy and unsteady just trying to stay standing. She took a couple very small steps in his direction. "Tony I didn't let you touch me then because I thought you were going to break things off with me. I was angry at you because you were so angry with me for picking myself. When you first came in I was so frustrated because I was in so much pain and I couldn't get comfortable. You climbed up onto the bed with me and through your touch somehow managed to calm me down and make me feel better. I love you so much, just thinking about you makes me feel good – so when we actually touch there is just no better feeling in the world Tony."
Tony looked like he was taking it all in. He had stopped pacing but he was standing with his arms crossed and his face was becoming red and puffy from his crying. He turned so his back was against the wall and then he slid down it so that he was sitting on the ground in the corner of the room. As he was sliding down he looked at Michelle and asked her, "Really? Do you really feel like that?"
Michelle had never wanted to hold and comfort Tony more than she did now. She kept trying to push through the pain and take some more steps to get closer to him. She was in a double room, the other bed was empty but it was just huge and a long way to the other side. "I really do Tony. Words just don't express how good you feel – Tony you are perfect for me, so perfect. I mean look how crazy I've gone in the last couple hours just thinking I was going to lose you!!"
"You are so perfect for me Chelle, that's why I feel like I am falling apart. When I think about last night I feel so sick and guilty. I have been trying to handle it but, but I don't know how...."
A nurse walked in and was completely shocked to find Tony hunched up in the corner in a total mess and Michelle standing in the middle of the room. She immediately could see that Michelle was more than struggling to be standing there like that.
Michelle could see how angry the nurse looked to see her out of bed like that, but she didn't care – she had to get to Tony.
"What is going on in here? Michelle what are you doing out of bed?"
"Nothing is going on....I was just going over to Tony, that's all."
"Why can't Tony just come to you?"
Tony had his head in his hands, obviously not wanting the nurse to see his face, but he started saying, "I'm so sorry, I don't want you to get into trouble. I'm sorry, I just fell apart here."
"Don't you apologise Tony, don't you dare apologise. I am not in trouble. You just stay there and I am going to come to you sweetheart." Michelle faced the nurse and tried to motion how upset Tony was so could she please just let them be. Unfortunately the nurse had been working most of the night and was extremely tired and in a bad mood. She had a reputation around the hospital as being very insensitive.
"Michelle I don't care how upset he is, you are my patient and all that matters is that you are not in bed like you should be. I want you to go back to your bed."
Michelle couldn't believe what a bitch the nurse just was about Tony. Why would she hurt his feelings like that for no reason at all? "No, I am not going back to bed yet, I will go when I have done what I need to do. I am fine."
She sighed extremely loudly to let Michelle know how much she couldn't be bothered dealing with this. "You are not fine, not even close. You have gone completely pale, your eye's are barley open, your body is shaking and swaying and you are hunched over in pain. Now go back to your bed and I'll get an injection for pain."
When Tony heard the nurse start listing all the things wrong with Michelle he lifted his head, "I'll come to you Michelle and help you back into bed." He was just about to get up when Michelle spoke so loudly to him she was almost yelling.
"Don't you move Tony – you stay right where you wanted to be. This time I am coming to you, I mean it. I will be fine – I might be slow but I am on my way to look after you, nothing else is more important right now."
The nurse was more than pissed off now, especially when Tony listened to Michelle and sat back down. Michelle was completely ignoring her orders. She pointed her finger at Tony, "what are you doing? I thought you would be taking care of her, not making her traipse all over the place.....you should know better."
Michelle watched Tony and swore she could hear his heart beak into pieces. Considering the reasons why Tony was so upset at the moment the nurse could not have possibly picked anything worse to say. From the other side of the room Michelle could see that his body was shaking violently and he had the worst look of devastation across his face that she had ever seen. He began to get up again. "Tony, please listen to me, I am begging you to stay where you are – exactly like I just said to you before." Tony was too exhausted to argue and he was only going to do what Michelle wanted him to do – he was more concerned about making her happy not the nurse. He nodded at Michelle and sat back down sinking his head into his hands again.
Michelle now turned to the nurse, "Just who do you think you are? How dare you speak to him like that, you have no idea what is going on here. You should leave."
"Michelle, it doesn't matter what is going on – after what you have been through you need help. You need to be resting in bed. I will not be going anywhere, I am in charge here and I am telling you what you need to do."
"Tony went through it all as well you know."
"I did not know that. I'm sorry to hear that."
"Well now you know, maybe now instead of being so completely insensitive you could understand a little better how important this situation might be. You are not in charge of me, I don't need to take orders from anyone. Now, I'll take the injection but I'll have it here as I am not going back to bed yet."
Tony was hanging on Michelle's every word, he was so impressed to hear her standing up for herself and him. From how upset Michelle had been earlier he thought her confidence in herself had been so shot, he was surprised to hear her back to her kick-ass assertive self again. He was so proud of her.
Alex and Jessica had walked into the room at the same time as Dr. Sims just in time to hear Michelle saying 'you are not in charge of me etc...' All three of them were horrified and stopped dead in their tracks. Dr Sims looked at Tony, then the nurse and then Michelle. "What is going on here? Alex and Jessica, I ask that you stay where you are until we sort this out." He knew they would want to go to Tony but he couldn't have them getting in the middle of whatever was going on.
"Doctor, I found Michelle out of bed trying to walk across the room to Tony. She is shaking and swaying, pale, hunched over in pain and can barely open up her eyes yet she refuses to get back into bed. Michelle is by no means well enough to be out of bed."
Dr Sims looked at Michelle and could see that everything the nurse had said was true. He knew what Michelle did for a job and that meant she had to be very responsible and have a lot of common sense. After all the time he had spent with Tony, he figured there must be a good reason as to why he was on the floor and Michelle was trying to get to him. "Michelle you really should be in bed, why won't you listen to your nurse?"
"Because...Tony is having a really tough time at the moment and for once I am going to be here for him. All I wanted to do was go over to him and comfort him just like he has been doing for me all night. Tony went through everything last night as well. We are the only ones that went through it so we both know what each other needs or how we are feeling. I need to be the one who goes to Tony. Doctor, this is so much more important than how I am feeling right now. I am not listening to the nurse because she has been completely rude and insensitive to Tony. I don't need to put up with that and I am certainly not going to stand for her talking to Tony the way she has."
Both Alex and Jessica felt so pleased and happy to see Michelle defending their son like that. It was very settling to them as parents to see just how much she really loved him. They felt without a doubt that Michelle was just perfect for Tony.
Tony spoke up, "Chelle you are just the sweetest, but it's not worth all the trouble it's causing. I'll be right, just look after yourself and I'll come over to you when you have had your injection, ok?"
"No, it's not ok Tony. This is what I am talking about. You have stood by my side through out everything, every time I just look like I am about to shed a tear or something you rush to my side, hold on to me as tight as you can and don't let go until you know I am feeling better. I know how upset you are Tony, I see the pain in your eyes and I am so worried about what you were saying before. It's so important to me that I can come to you and offer you my support."
Dr Sims felt shivers up his spine. From all the moments he had witnessed of Michelle and Tony during the night he thought they truly had a special relationship. There was so much love, and they were just so good for each other. He knew that as long as these 2 had each other – they would get through all of this just fine. He walked over to Michelle and put his arm around her and began to lead her over to Tony. Everyone watched in silence as they started to make their way across the room – they were moving so incredibly slowly because Michelle was struggling so much. After just 4 steps she had to stop for a break. The pain was almost unbearable. Dr. Sims told the nurse to go and get the pain injection immediately. Because of the locations of all her injuries it would be too difficult to pick her up and carry her. He told her to wait until he could give her the injection before they continued.
He walked over to Tony, crouched down and spoke in his ear so no one else could hear, "Are you ok Tony? Is there anything I can get or do for you?" Tony whispered back, "Thanks doc, you were right before – I really needed to talk. I just need Chelle. I feel so silly just sitting here when she is struggling so much, can't I just go to her?" Dr Sims nodded, "it is a matter of principle now to let her come to you. As hard as it is for her she wants to be able to come to you and offer you everything you have to her. I think it is important for you both that she can do this for you." He stood back up and waved for Alex and Jessica to come over to Tony while he went back to Michelle. He pulled over a chair and had her sit on it so that he could administer the injection.
Alex and Jessica both got down next to Tony. Jessica put her hand on the side of her son's face. "You are going to get through this honey. I know how hard this is but you will both get through this."
"This all hurts so much. Why does it have to be like this? I feel like I am falling apart."
Alex squeezed his shoulder, "Tony its ok to break down – especially when you have someone like Michelle who wants more than anything to catch you. You have been through so much, and you need to talk it out son. If you do that, I promise it will begin to hurt less."
Jessica walked over to Michelle who was just about ready to start making her way again. The injection was making its way through her body making her feel warm and finally giving her a break by easing the pain. Jessica spoke into her ear, "I admire you so much Michelle. I respect what you are doing to get to Tony and Alex and I thought it was just beautiful how you stood up for him. Thank you Chelle. Please know how much we are here for you."
Michelle smiled at Jessica, "Thanks." Michelle giggled a little "I am getting there, very slowly but I am working on it – just hope he isn't asleep before I make it." They both let out a small laugh.
Dr. Sims helped Michelle up and they began once again to make their way to Tony. She was a lot better this time around. Once they were only a couple steps away Alex and Jessica cleared the room to offer them privacy. Dr. Sims told them to call if they needed anything and then he too left – finally Michelle and Tony were alone.
Tony looked up with a smile on his face and extended his hands out to Michelle. She smiled back at him and then took her finally step. She lowered her body and fell into his arms. She held him so tightly for a couple of minutes then she pulled back but cupped his face with both of her hands and kissed his forehead and nose. She ran her hands back through his hair.
Michelle curled up and sat on his lap so she could put one arm right around his neck and use the other to touch his chest or face – this way she could look into his eyes as well. "Talk to me sweetheart. You said you felt guilty – what for? Tell me why you were so worried about being so strong?"
Tony lowered his eyes. "Chelle I don't know how to deal with everything that happened. I feel like you should have left me after all this but because you haven't yet then this is my chance to make up for everything I let you down with. I just hate this, I hate it so much Chelle – things were just so perfect with us before all this happened, it's not fair......I don't want it to ruin us."
"Hey, hey, to start with, there is no way I should have left you over all this and there is certainly no way I am going to. Remember how much I told you I love being in your arms?" Tony nodded and so she continued. "Things were perfect between us before but there is no way I am going to let this ruin us. I think we both need to realise and believe that we both love each other far too much to walk away – and neither of us are even thinking along those lines.....don't you think?"
"Yeah, you're right. God I want you know and believe how much I love you and that I'm not going anywhere. Let's agree on that!"
Michelle put her hand flat on his chest and began to rub it. "Baby we can learn to deal with all this together. I don't how to either."
"It's different for me Chelle. I feel so guilty for what you have been through. I can't fathom how you could put your life on the line for me.....don't you understand that you are too important to do that...."
"Tony, you are the most important person in the world to me. I mean you actually have a family - imagine what it would do to them if you were hurt."
"Chelle my parents are hurting so much watching you go through this. You might not have the conventional family baby, but you certainly have people around you that love you so much. All of your friends, my parents think the world you and then there is me – I know I could never live without you – you are my princess."
Michelle kissed the top of his head and rubbed his chest harder. Tony continued, "Watching my princess in so much pain for the sake of my own well-being is the hardest thing I have ever had to comprehend...." Tears rolled down his cheeks.
Michelle started to wipe away his tears. "Aww Tony I'm going to be fine. I'll heal in no time....."
Tony lifted her top to reveal her black stomach. "This is for me Chelle. LOOK at your stomach." He began to sob. He pulled her gown up to the stitches on her thigh. "And this – I mean you were so out cold you didn't even know you had been sliced with a knife. You can barely walk baby......all for me..."
Michelle couldn't stand seeing and hearing Tony like this. She couldn't keep up with the tears rolling down his face. "Forget about it Tony, I don't care about any of this – you know I would take a million more of these marks for you my Tony..."
"But you do care Chelle. Look how worried you were that I would be turned off by how you looked. You lost so much confidence. I feel so guilty when I have to sit and watch you blame yourself for the entire thing when really it was my fault. You are MY girl and it is MY responsibility to look after you, how could you ever forgive me for letting you down like that?"
That was all so much for Michelle to take in, she didn't really know where to start. She hated those men so much for doing this to them. Tony's face was so puffy and red. His eyes were swollen and he looked so lost. She was fumbling to find words and the tears from her own eyes were making it harder and harder to see. Tony grabbed both of her shoulders and turned her body in towards him more. His voice had become desperate.
"Chelle I am so sorry you got hurt, I am so sorry you are in pain. You know I love your whole body right? You know how sexy I find you and there is nothing ever that could turn me off you." Tony didn't give Michelle anytime to respond, he just kept going. "You know that I'll always do everything I can to keep you safe and look after you right? You know you can count on me to always be there for you. You have to know I'll never ever let anyone ever hurt you again. And that you are never going to lose me."
Michelle put her fingers on his mouth to stop him. "STOP Tony, don't do this – please dear God don't do this." His body was shaking. He stopped talking but his mouth stayed open and he was breathing very heavily. "I know all those things sweetie. There all things I love about you – and I have never ever doubted how much I can count on you and how much you will always look after me. I promise I believe you when you say you are not turned off by me."
"Because I am so in love with your body..."
Michelle had to laugh a little and his face softened a little. She leaned in a little closer and spoke quietly, "that's right....you are in love with my body."
"And because I get so turned on every time I just see you..."
Tony's mouth was still hanging open and his breathing was still heavy. "So how turned on do you get when I do this?...." With his mouth open she stuck her tongue straight in to meet his. He responded passionately kissing her back and putting his hands behind her head and running them through her hair. Their heads tipped from side to side and they kept their lips wide trying to reach as much of each other as possible. Sometimes their tongues would meet and wrestle for a moment before their lips caught up. It was such a desperate kiss – they were both panting and moaning. In between kisses Michelle spoke to him, "all I need is you Tony."
Tony stopped the second her heard this – that was exactly what he had needed to hear. He looked at her face which had now gone really red, especially around her mouth from his scratchy stubble. "You mean that?"
She clung onto his chest as tight as she could. "Tony, I don't just want you, I need you. I need you so much." Tony smiled. This was so important to him. He had been desperately wishing that Michelle would need him. It was the best feeling in the world to feel needed. "That is the best thing you have said to me."
"God Tony, I've felt that way for the longest time about you. Even before we got together.....The day of the bomb, when we kissed for the very first time – when I was in the hall way and you came down to me, I needed you so so much. After you had hugged me, it wasn't enough I needed more of you Tony. You are everything to me, I need you more than anything else in this world."
He kissed her again, this time tenderly and slowly. "I feel the same way beautiful." Tony started to slowly get up, "Chelle wrap your legs around me and then put your arms around my neck." Tony was so strong he easily stood up taking Michelle's weight with him. Once up he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Does this hurt you honey?"
"A little, but not nearly as much as walking."
"Well I'll get you over there quick then." He very carefully walked straight over to her bed and then very gently lay her down. He kissed her before standing up again. "Does that feel better?"
"Yes thanks, it's good to lie down. Are you tired Tony?"
"Yeah, I think I have finally worn myself out. Michelle I really want you to sleep, you need too."
Michelle wondered if this meant Tony was about to leave to go home to bed. She didn't want him to go. Tony was feeling the same way – he didn't want to leave her. There was no way he could sleep when he would be laying there wondering if she was ok or not.
"Michelle....what if I was to sleep here with you?
She tapped the bed, "I would love that – I might actually sleep then."
Tony slid his shoes off and put his jacket over a chair. He climbed onto the bed and lay on his side, Michelle was on her back – they held hands and whispered sweet nothings to each other. Michelle was the first to fall asleep, Tony was right behind her.