Michelle was woken in the middle of the night from Tony tossing and turning. She still felt drugged from the injections and so it was difficult to open her heavy eyes. As she was trying to shake the dopiness, Tony scared the hell out of her by grabbing her thigh and squeezing it with unbelievable strength. Pain rippled through her body sending her heart racing and making breathing difficult. Tears seemed to shoot from her eyes and she felt like she might actually be sick.
He didn't let go even when she begged him to stop. His head was thrashing from side to side and his legs kept bending up and down and from left to right. Finally his grip loosened, his hand fell back on the bed and within seconds it grabbed at the sheet crunching it. With his hand off her leg Michelle was able to lift her body enough to look over Tony. His eyes were shut tight – he was having a nightmare. His entire body was dripping in sweat, his hair was saturated.
She tried to snap him out of it by saying his name over and over but even after raising her voice he didn't come to. She tried to put her hand on his cheek but it was difficult because his head continue to roll from side to side. He began to let out little cries almost like whimpering. He had completely thrown all of the blankets onto the floor and the only reason he hadn't fallen off himself was because the side rails were up on the bed. His face scrunched up like he was in pain and he began to say 'no' repeatedly. After shaking him as much as she was able, calling his name and tapping his cheek he still hadn't woken up so she grabbed the glass of water next to the bed and let a couple mouthfuls worth fall onto his face.
His eyes sprung open and his body came to a complete stop. Michelle cupped his cheek with her hand gently.
"Tony, it's me sweetie. You are having a nightmare."
He spent a moment looking stunned. He touched Michelle and studied her as if trying to convince himself it was really her. Finally, "Michelle?"
"Yes baby it's me."
He seemed on the verge of tears. "Are you ok? Are you ok?"
Michelle stroked his face. "Tony it was just a dreamââjust a dream."
Finally he seemed to really wake up. He spent a few moments allowing himself accept it was just a dream. He raised his hand to her cheek. "I'm so sorry Chelle. I'm sorry I woke you up."
"Sweetheart don't apologise. You were distraught Tony – what were you dreaming about?"
He lowered his eyes away from hers and spoke quietly. "You, themâ..the other night. They were hurting you and I couldn't do anything. It was like I replayed that entire night Chelleâ..everything. God it was even word for word."
Michelle didn't know what to say so she hugged him, holding his as tight as possible.
"I'm sorry I didn't protect you from them Chelleâ."
Michelle pulled back and looked him in the eyes, "Tony you did everything you possibly could. You have to stop blaming yourself – it is because of you that we are ok." He pulled her back into the hug.
Michelle could feel the heat radiating from his body. Her gown was wet from his sweat. She pulled back, "Let me just get a damp cloth to wipe your face."
"No, no – don't you get up. I can get it. I actually think I need a shower – this is disgusting."
Michelle kissed him on the lips and then let him get up. She watched him make his way into the bathroom and close the door. She was worried about him. He shouldered so much of what happened that night. She felt so bad for him for having to re-live the night like that, it was very understandable now why he was gripping everything and throwing his body around.
Her thigh was still pounding from where he had grabbed her, his hand had gone right on top of her wound. Her hand slipped down her body to her leg. Her gown was wet but she assumed it was from Tony, it wasn't until she held her hand up that she saw blood on her fingers. Michelle pulled her body up and turned on the light. Slowly lifting her gown she gasped at the site of the wound open and blood everywhere. He had pulled the stitches out. Her heart sank, she didn't care about her leg – she cared about how much this would upset Tony.
The bathroom door opened and Tony stood holding his hand out. "Why is there blood on my hand?"
She didn't need to answer as he noticed her leg and rushed to her side. Tears formed in his eyes as he looked at the wound. "I did that? I did that to you?"
Michelle held his arm. "I am ok Tony, it looks worse than it is."
"Chelle I ripped the stitches out. I hurt you. How could I do that to you? Lo"
"You were asleep and having a nightmare. It's not your fault Tonyâ.it's just something that happened."
"Yeah because of me. Here I am having a nightmare because of someone else hurting you and yet I've hurt you myself. I have to get a doctor." He pressed the nurse's button.
"Look at me Tony." His eyes couldn't leave her leg. "TONYâ.look at me." Finally he turned his head and gave her eye contact. She squeezed his hand, "I love you so much Tony. I am not upset about this at all. All I care about is you."
"But But"
Michelle used her hand to signal him to stop. "No buts Tony. I watched you having the nightmare, I saw your body thrashing from side to side, I saw your hands and feet all clenched up, the sweat pouring from your head and I heard your cries. I know how much what happened the other night is tearing you apart inside Tonyâ..nothing in the world is more to clear to me than your love for me. I know better than anyone how you are feeling about this BUT you need to just accept that it was just something that happened. You couldn't have stopped that from happening anymore than I can stop the rain from falling - because you were asleep. Now, I am going to be fine BUT only if you calm down and stop getting upset with yourself over it."
A couple nurses came running in asking what the problem was. Before Tony could answer them Michelle got in first. "My stitches have split."
One of the nurses turned around and left to go and get a doctor and everything they would need to fix Michelle back up. The other nurse, inspected the wound and asked how it happened. Tony got in first this time.
"I was having a nightmare and I grabbed Michelle's leg in my sleep."
The nurse had looked after Michelle a lot in the last couple days and had never seen a man more in love than Tony obviously was with Michelle. She knew how guilty he would be feeling and so she did everything she could to ease him. "Ahh certainly not the first time something like this has happened."
Tony looked shocked. "What? What do you mean?"
"Everybody has nightmares Tony. You wouldn't believe the amount of patients that do something in their sleep that affects their injuries."
"Really?"
"I could write you a novel on just the incidents I've witnessed. There is nothing in the world you can do about it." She excused herself. She wanted to explain the situation to the doctor before he entered the room.
Tony looked like he relaxed a little. Michelle tugged on his hand. "See honey, it is no big deal."
H leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Well I'm still so sorry. I love you so much."
Michelle tried to loosen the mood. "Well if you love meâ.then what's with the bloody kiss on the forehead? I have lips you know!!"
A smile finally spread across his face and Michelle breathed a sigh of relief. He kissed her sliding his tongue inside her mouth. He ended the quick kiss by sucking on her bottom lip. He enjoyed her shocked expression, "That better sweetheart?"
"Much!" They traded flirty smiles.
The second nurse and their doctor walked through the door and straight over to Michelle's side. After checking the wound the doctor explained what he was going to do.
"Michelle I will stitch this back up and then we will get you into a fresh gown and fix the bed up with some new sheets."
Tony held Michelle's hand whilst they tended to her wound. After many local anaesthetic injections, Michelle didn't feel a thing and spent most of the time babbling on to Tony about everything under the sun. She spent a good chunk of the time pointing out all the reasons why they needed to get a big screen TV. Tony laughed, this was the third or forth time she had talked about TV's since they agreed to move out. There was no reason for it, she had had a small crappy TV for years and wanted forever to upgrade.
Once they had finished with her thigh they helped her up so they could get her changed and fix the bed. Tony went to have a quick shower and change his clothes. He was done just as Michelle was being helped back into the fresh clean bed. After the nurses had left Michelle patted the spot next to her. Tony hesitated at the end of the bed. "Do you think that maybe I should sleep on the other bed?"
"How am I going to kiss you when I can't reach you? Come on Tony, I want youâ..let me rephrase that, I need you next to me."
He closed the door and then crawled up next to her switching out the light. He lay on his side leaning over her looking into her eyes. She gazed back adoringly. "You know Tony, all of these horrible things have happened to us in the last couple weeks but none of it seems to matter when I am this close to you. I still can't believe how incredibly lucky I am to have you."
"Chelle you make me the happiest man in the world. How do I explain to you how incredibly perfect you are for me? Would you believe I have butterflies right now just because I am this close to you?"
She ran her hand across his chest and his eyes followed her every move. She picked up his hand and began to softly suck on his fingers. He slid his body in closer to her leaving next to no space between them. Her kisses left his hand and moved to his upper chest. There was silence as Tony intensely watched Michelle so tenderly explore his chest with her mouth. It was an intimate moment and one that they both so desperately needed. As Michelle tried to kiss his neck it was hard for her to reach without being uncomfortable and so Tony leaned his body up over her so she could. He stretched and tilted his neck out to the side so Michelle would know exactly where he needed to be kissed. She took her time.
Tony ran his hands through her hair until her mouth reached his cheek, he then held her head and began to kiss her sweetly on the lips. She rested her head back on the pillow pulling him with her while the took in turns of sucking and tugging on each other's lips.
Finally their tongues began to explore one another's mouths. Twenty minutes passed them by while they did nothing but hold each other kissing passionately.
Tony pulled the blanket up high right to their necks. Reaching his hand under the covers he began to slowly slide her gown up her body, carefully watching her reaction. In just a whisper, "Is this ok? I'll be gentle."
Michelle took his hand and guided it to her chest. As he held her softly in his hand he slid down the bed a little so that he could use his mouth and see that he wasn't going near any bruises.
Michelle for the first time felt like her pain faded. The man she saw as her strong protector held her body so gently making her feel safe, comfortable and excited for him. The way he held her and looked at her let her know she was going to be ok. No matter what she had been through, no matter how battered her body was, somehow she knew that with Tony by her side she was going to get through everything just fine.
They kissed and held each other until the sun came up, eventually falling into the most peaceful sleep either had had in days.