Pretense

Chapter Nine

Conscience

Miss Parker, Sydney, and Broots returned to the Centre, fully intending to find Lyle boasting to everyone that would listen about the particularly brutal murder he had committed and regaling he had saved the Centre from a psychotic test subject and how he had brought back a lost pretender. Instead, they found the hallway near deserted. Despite their confusion, they walked on to Lyle's office, curious as to whether he had figured out where it was that Jarod had been. They walked into his office and found it empty. Not just of people, but everything was gone. All the furniture, decorations, any sign of Lyle ever working at the Centre was gone. Unless he was given a bigger office for what he's done. Parker looked up at the other two, who seemed equally shocked at what they were seeing.

"It's like he doesn't exist anymore." Broots said it stunned. They exchanged looks and Sydney nodded before speaking.

"The Centre never takes defection lightly."

"You think Lyle defected? Mr. Lyle, the original diabolical evil man?" Miss Parker had never even imagined Lyle defecting the Centre's precious organization. The Centre had too much to offer him to believe that Lyle would just desert.

"For Samarah? I do believe he would. You've seen him with Samarah, in the DSAs. Lyle seems to be different when he even sees Samarah. He's more sensitive and considerably less evil. Samarah's like a conscience."

Miss Parker sighed as she made a small circle around the room, trying to understand what she was seeing and hearing. She'd never really thought of Lyle as a human before. He'd always been some kind of monster that she despised. It seemed, however, that he was intent on protecting the female pretender, even if it meant endangering his life and standing at the Centre. Miss Parker finally nodded acceptingly.

"You're right, Syd. You're the shrink, right? You know what's in Lyle's psyche."

"I'd never presume to understand Lyle's psyche. I don't think I want to. But I do understand the power of love and the feeling of being needed is never too weak to conquer even the cruelest of men."

"Obviously."

Parker turned on her heel and strutted out of the office, no longer interested in talking about Lyle. She tossed back a half-hearted, "See you tomorrow. Looks like we're the only ones left that are looking for Jarod."

With that, Parker left the Centre for the night, wishing she could curl up in a ball and hide from the rest of the world for a while.

Miss Parker finally did curl up into a ball to hide away from the rest of the world with a nice glass of vodka, but she knew she would have to return to the Centre the next day. If Jarod had been caught, banners would have been decking the halls with party favors sounding. She had seen no jubilation so she assumed Jarod was still on the run somewhere in Kansas by now. Not that she minded that he was free. How twisted was it that she wanted him to be free when she was supposed to capture him and drag him back to imprisonment. As if on cue, her phone rang. She snapped it up expectantly and heard his somewhat comforting voice on the other end.

"Enjoying your vodka, Miss Parker?"

Miss Parker snorted unbecomingly as she took another sip. She didn't even bother wondering how Jarod knew she was drinking. Knowing him, he had cameras set up all over her house that he'd placed while she was asleep.

"It's not nearly strong enough."
"Is it ever? Not with what we've seen."

"You're not the one who saw Cade in a bloody mess on the floor."

"I know. I'm sorry you saw it."
"It's nothing new."

"Why is it our lives never work out?"
"How ironic is it? You're being quite pessimistic tonight, and I'm being unusually less so."

"You're not being pessimistic?" Jarod asked it slyly.
"I was thinking that at least Samarah and Lyle got themselves a fairy tale ending, or so I assume."

"They're together."

"How do you always know - never mind. You know, Lyle kind of deserves to be happy, no matter how sociopathic he was. He never got a chance to be happy, not even when he was a little boy."

"Sympathy for your sadistic brother? That's quite odd."

"I suppose it is. I'm not the sympathetic sort. Still, Samarah has had quite a tortured life like the rest of us, as did Lyle. They seem to be each other's only happiness. I believe they deserve each other. But I can't help wonder…" She paused again, almost embarrassed by what she had almost confessed. Fortunately, Jarod had none of the same qualms she did about facing their feelings.

"Wonder why we can't escape from the Centre's clutches to have our own happily ever after? I wonder it, as well, often, Miss Parker."

"You're the genius. Why don't you find the solution to our little problem?" She sounded bitter and angry with him, but it was no shock that she felt that way. The Centre had always controlled their lives and they were never given a moment's peace. Lyle and Samarah seemed to be able to escape, why couldn't they?

Jarod heard the deep hurt in Miss Parker's voice, but all he really processed was that she didn't deny that they wanted the same ending. Parker rarely admitted that she wanted him the way he wanted her. Yet as ecstatic as that made him, a feeling of futility washed over him. He wasn't sure if they would ever break away from the Centre. It wasn't likely. He felt slightly jealous that the sinister Mr. Lyle, one of the men that had made his life a torturous hell, could live a mundane existence with the woman he loved. Samarah deserved the peace, though, so the jealousy he felt faded in and out. Jarod sighed as he loosened his grip on his cell phone.

"I've never claimed to know all the answers, Miss Parker. That was the Centre that claimed it. If I knew the answer to the question that has plagued me for years, I would have fixed our problem long ago. I wish I knew how to change our lives. I wish I knew how I could come to you and be in love with you without having to worry about being caught. I wish I knew how to fix it! I can fix everyone else's problems but I'm completely powerless to fix my own. I'm so frustrated and I don't know how to stop this never-ending process, Miss Parker."

Miss Parker seemed dumbfounded by Jarod's outburst. Neither was this open with each other, not since they were children. Miss Parker was speechless for the moment, no snarky comment or cruel accusation to fling at him. She remained quiet for a few seconds before speaking.

"Someday, Jarod, you'll figure it out. Maybe we'll be old, gray, and drying up from the Centre sucking us dry, but you will find a way."

"Optimism again?"

"The vodka's kicking in."

He chuckled, a warm sound that made Miss Parker smile unusually.

"I think I'll go find some, then."

"I hear it will stimulate your brain, as well."

She could almost see Jarod's smile on the other end of the phone line.
"You really think I'll be able to solve our problem?"
"I know you will."

With that vote of confidence, Miss Parker disconnected the line and curled back into her ball with her hands clutching her vodka glass.

Lyle had been watching over Samarah since he had taken her from the motel room, unconscious and bleeding. He hadn't been able to leave her. She'd been unconscious for almost a whole day and Lyle had no idea how to wake her up. He didn't know how to fix her, so he cleaned her wounds, made sure she was warm, and remained by her side. If only his sister could see him now. She would never believe that he could be this tender with someone. Lyle had a hard time believing it, honestly. Samarah awakened feelings that still didn't appear when he was with anyone else. He was almost vulnerable when he was with Samarah. Lyle almost dreaded Samarah's inevitable awakening. The fiery spirit he loved so much would turn on him and Samarah would kick him out. Where would he go? The Centre? They'd kill him. Where would it leave him if Samarah wanted nothing to do with him? How would he take it?

Lyle sighed as his hand reached up to push back Samarah's hair. Her blond hair was no longer sticky with blood, but Lyle could see it in his mind. He could see Cade standing over her with a knife, his eyes crazed, hers terrified. He couldn't shake the images or fear for Samarah. It was like a weight dragging him under the ocean waves as he gulped down salt water to fill his lungs. He wondered if her opening her eyes would save him from the oppressive memories. He lowered his head onto the bed and waited.

She began to move, but she didn't open her eyes. Her face blanched with pain at her slight movement. She tried to stay still; who knew what Cade would do when he saw that she was awake? Her torso stung and itched alternately and she wished desperately it would stop. She felt a hand brush her cheek almost gently, more gentle than Cade had ever touched her with, even when he was taunting her with 'tenderness'. She tried to stop herself from opening her eyes, but she couldn't. Lyle's face focused shakily in Samarah's line of view and Samarah whimpered helplessly.

"I know you don't want me around, but I have to make sure you heal properly."

"Cade-" her voice cracked from the lack of fluids she'd had the last few days.

"He's gone. You don't need to worry about him."
"Gone?"

"Dead. I killed him."

Suddenly, her blue eyes filled with tears, her face broken and pained. Lyle wanted to touch her, to make her feel better, but he was afraid to. He was afraid that talking to her or touching her would make her more upset than she already was. He lifted his hand and began to reach for her hand, but he stopped himself. His hands hovered over hers, like it was physically impossible for him to put his hand down to feel her skin. Samarah closed her eyes before she tried to speak again.

"He-he hurt me so badly, Lyle. I don't know why. I didn't do anything to him. We're both victims of the Centre. I close my eyes and all I see is him cutting into my skin. I open my eyes and all I see is his face smiling sadistically…."

She broke off again as licked at her cracked lips. Lyle finally did grasp her hand out of desperation. Samarah's eyes flew open and looked down at their intertwined hands.

"He was insane, Samarah. The Centre drove him insane. I drove him insane."

Lyle couldn't look at her when he said that last sentence. He didn't want to see the disappointment that would flash in her eyes when she heard him say that.

"I know you were his project head…"

"Yes, and I performed a number of experiments on him that drove him to go after you. He wanted to hurt me and he didn't care if he hurt you. I'm sorry that this whole thing affected you. You were free from the Centre. You shouldn't have come back."

"I didn't mean too. I just had to know that you were all right."
Lyle stood up abruptly and began to pace the room. Samarah lay in the bed almost anxious now, because she knew that she was going to have to face her feelings for Lyle soon. She'd never stopped loving him, no matter how evil he was. He'd never been evil with her. He'd always tried to protect her and liberate her. She couldn't hate him, no matter what he did.

"Why? Samarah, you should have kept running and never turned back. It's been years."
"That doesn't mean I stopped loving you, Lyle. You were my first love and my only love. It was dangerous and probably unhealthy for the both of us, but I love you so much. I hate what you did. I felt that you had betrayed me since you were experimenting on people at the Centre. You always seemed so outraged that it happened to me, I couldn't understand how you could perform experiments on others. I couldn't understand how you could be so sweet to me and so cruel to others."
"I only got worse, Samarah. You have to know that."

"I do. But it doesn't mean I stopped caring. You would never hurt me. And look, you chose me over the Centre just by saving me. You're not going to be working at the Centre anymore. They won't let you back in. You can stay with me and we can work through whatever it was that went wrong with you so many years ago."

"What if I don't want to work on it? I like the way I am just fine."
Samarah flinched at his harsh words, but she knew he was lying. He would do anything for her, including trying to fix his problems.

"Are you saying that you don't love me? That you don't want to stay with me?"

Lyle shook his head helplessly.

"No. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that I'm dangerous and you'll just end up getting hurt with me hanging around you again."

"I was hurt when we weren't together, Lyle. It's not going to matter either way. I want you with me. I want to help you."
"I don't know if you can."

"I can try. You helped me a long time ago, helped me free myself from the Centre. Let me do the same. Please, Lyle."

He walked to her bed again and sat on the edge. He studied her for a moment with hard eyes that suddenly turned soft. He leaned down and kissed her carefully, trying not to hurt her by his touch. The kiss lasted only an instant, but it displayed all the emotions Lyle had felt for Samarah since the day she'd run away. Samarah sighed almost happily as she closed her eyes again.

"I'm tired, Lyle. And thirsty."
"I can get you a drink and then you can sleep. We can work out our lives later."

"You promise you'll stay with me, though?"

"I promise, Samarah. I do love you. I've never loved anyone in my life and I imagine you'll be the only one I ever do love."

She smiled slightly as she tried to guide him back down for another kiss. Life wasn't perfect for either of them. Samarah was going to have to leave her old new life behind just to start a new one with Lyle. She wouldn't be able to go back to her kindergarten class and pick up where she left off. Lyle would have to start over again, as well, as someone human, not psychotic. But together, they would probably be able to do it. It wouldn't be as lonely since they had each other. Starting over would be better than it had been the first time, because she had someone she loved by her side, as clichéd as that sounded. Samarah had been alone her whole life, as had Lyle, so it would be a nice change to have someone there, someone who cared. And with someone who cared, life could seem almost perfect. After all, she was good at pretending.

THE END