Chapter Five
I am really sorry for not updating. I gave you an excuse last time, but I finally fixed the stupid program and I didn't lose any of my work.!
does lil happy dance
Anyway, here is the next installment in our really weird saga. Plus, remember Bob...
Link trudged along the path that led to 'Moria'. He had never heard of the place, and now Gimli was giving him a full histroy, family tree and anthology of everything to do with anything about it.
They came atop a rise and saw a huge cliff. "The walls of Moria!" gasped Gimli.
They followed the lake that lapped the wall of Moria. It was slimy and a dull grey colour. Frodo slipped in and quickly recoiled.
They arrived at two holly trees and Gandalf stopped.
"Now, let's see. Ithildin -- it mirrors only starlight and moonlight."
The moon appeared and the doors shone with an ethereal light.
Well, that was good timing.
"It reads 'The doors of Durin - Lord of Moria. Speak friend and enter.'" Gandalf said with pride at his language translation.
Looks like a jumble of letters to me. Can't the elves write properly?
"What do you suppose that means?" Merry asked.
"Oh it's quite simple. If you are a friend you speak the password and the doors will open." Gandalf said, "Annon Edhellen edro hi ammen!"
"What did he just say?" Link whispered to Aragorn.
"Gate of the Elves open now for me!" Aragorn whispered back. Link blinked. Aragorn obviously hadn't brushed his teeth.
The doors didn't budge. Gandalf pushed it with his staff.
"Damn." Gandalf muttered.
Five hours later...
They all lay seated around the iky lake as Gandalf cast spells, made explosions, cursed in all languages under the sun and banged his staff against the doors. "Ando Eldarinwa a lasta quettanya, Fenda Casarinwa!"
Link started to skip stones with the hobbits. He now knew they were hobbits as he had heard them talking.
"Do not disturb the water." Aragorn chastised.
"Oh, it's useless!" came a cry from Gandalf. "Edro! Edro! Edro!" he yelled.
Suddenly, Frodo spoke up, "It's a riddle."
Well duh, we can all see that.
"Speak 'friend' and enter. What's the Elvish word for friend?"
"Mellon." Gandalf said.
The doors swung open with a creak. Gandalf laughed joyously.
Gimli boasted to Link again, "Soon master elf you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the dwarves."
"I'm not an elf."
"...Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone. This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!"
Link stepped on something that went crunch.
"That didn't sound good..."
"This is no mine, it's a tomb!"
Link looked down to see a dead and decayed body lying on the floor.
"Eww!"
Gimli ran to all the dwarves, trying in vain to see if there were any relations.
"Goblins!"
"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here."
Ewww.
Link's ears picked up something in the water behind them.
Oh spoot...
"Now get out, get out!"
Suddenly, Frodo's feet were pulled out from under him and he disappeared.
"Oh! Crud!" Link said as he saw a huge tentacle.
"Strider!" Sam called, trying to grab Frodo, "Get off him!" he yelled at the thing.
Link hacked and slashed at the water-dweller, but for every tentacle that disappeared, another four seemed to grow.
Frodo was screaming as he was hoisted up into the air by the thing.
The Hobbits called for Legolas and Strider.
Legolas came and shot the thing with precision aiming.
Determined not to be bettered by this nancy-pants, Link got out his bow from his pockets (where does he keep all that stuff anyway?) and started to shoot at it as well.
Boromir caught Frodo and they all ran into the mines, but not before Link gave the Watcher in the Water one final shot in the eye.
He turned to Legolas, who just shrugged and flicked his hair.
The Watcher in the Water pulled down the door, covering everyone in a fine layer of silt and bringing darkness upon the company.
"We now have but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria." Gandalf said, "Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world.
"Quietly now. It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."
They traveled for four days before they reached the crossroads.
"I thought you said it was only four days." Link said to Gandalf. "Are you lost?"
"Ah... no! Of course not!" he said awkwardly.
"Thought so."
They waited whilst Gandalf pondered their route. Link saw a well nearby that he felt very tempted to push Boromir into.
"Are we lost?" Pippin asked.
"You only just figured it out?" Link said sarcastically.
"Merry?" Pippin asked.
"What?"
"I'm hungry."
Link put his head in his hands.
"There's something down there." He heard Frodo say to Gandalf.
"It's Gollum." Came the reply.
Link tuned out from the conversation and focused all his attention on a spider that he named Bob that was crawling over his boot.
What? It seemed more interesting than anything around him.
"Ah! It's that way." Gandalf said.
"He's remembered!" one of the Hobbits said.
"No, but the air doesn't smell so foul down here. If in doubt, Meriadoc, always follow your nose."
"He's done that enough," Link whispered, remembering when Merry had 'followed his nose' right into Link's pack and special food he had stole... borrowed from Elrond.
He picked up the spider and put it in a jar, just like he had done with the fish fairies and bugs in Hyrule.
They went down many passages and across a few bridges, until they entered a hall that seemed vaster than Desert Colossus.
"Behold the great realm of the dwarf city of Dwarrowdelf."
"Holy spootin' crud!" Link said in amazement.
Link walked over to a pillar and took a look at the markings. He tried to make them out. The rune that appeared most would have to be 'e' then the next would be 't'. He knew this because they were the most common letters in the alphabet.
When he turned around to ask Gimli what they meant, the Fellowship was gone.
"Guys?" He asked.
Link wandered the halls of Dwarrowdelf for a while, until he heard a huge crashing noise.
"I bet that's Pippin's fault." He muttered.
Then came the drums. Then the orcs.
Link had never seen anything so ugly in his entire life. He hid behind a pillar, hoping they wouldn't see him. But they seemed to be coming out of the woodwork! Or stonework. Whatever.
Thinking quickly, he pulled on the Stone Mask just before they reached him.
(a/n: yeah, I know that's in MM, but I couldn't resist! t'hee. Besides, this is a load of nonsense)
The orcs ran straight past him as if he wasn't there and went to a small room. They led a huge monster by a chain. It battered down the door and they flooded in.
Link pulled off the Stone Mask and got the Master Sword at the ready.
Suddenly, the Fellowship came tearing out of the room. They passed Link, who was standing still and shocked. He opened his mouth to ask a question, but he was grabbed by Legolas and dragged along, his feet trying to keep up with his body.
They became surrounded by orcs again, and Link couldn't reach his Mask as Legolas had his arm he used to get it in a vice-like grip so he couldn't run away again.
Without warning, the orcs dissipated, shrieking in fear.
They all turned to the end of the hall.
"What is this new devilry?"
"A Balrog- a demon of the ancient world."
Legolas froze in absolute terror.
"This foe is beyond any of you. Run!!!"
They tore down the hall and toward the exit. They ran down a flight of stairs, Boromir in the lead. He came to a sharp drop around one corner and teetered on the edge.
Legolas let go of Link and grabbed Boromir. The heavy Gondorian fell back on the elf, giving him a very sore rear for three days.
"Damn it, why did you have to catch 'im?"
Boromir and Legolas gave him a sardonic look and they continued down the stairs. They came to a gap.
Legolas jumped over first. Link followed. The Elven prince jumped farther than Link and he stuck out his tongue.
Link just gave him a confused look and helped Gandalf over.
Link suddenly felt an arrow brush the stone beneath him. He looked up to see orcs at a safe distance shooting at them.
Link grabbed his arrows and shot back, hitting a few and smiling as they dropped into the chasm beneath.
Merry, Pippin and Boromir all jumped over together, followed by Sam – tossed by Aragorn.
Gimli said something inaudible to Aragorn and jumped the gap. Almost.
Legolas grabbed the only thing he could get a hold of.
They all winced.
"Not the beard!"
The gap was now three times as big as it was in the first place, and Aragorn and Frodo were still on the other side.
Just leave them.
The stairs started to crumble and the two leaned forward. This uneven distribution of weight caused the stairs to topple forward. It crashed into the Fellowship and they caught them. Aragorn blundered into Link, who stepped back in order to avoid the stinking man. Boromir caught him just before he overshot the stairs and went over the edge.
Damn.
"Over the bridge! Fly!" Gandalf yelled as they came to the Bridge of Khazad-Dûm.
R&R Please!