Kuwabara: I hate your doctors.
me too.
Hiei: I hate your fics.
Me-HEY!
1234
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Have you ever listened to this sound?
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
It's a hollow, ominous sound. The sound the heart monitor makes. One sharp quick beep means your alive, at least until the next beep. But a dull, loud, screaming beep means you gone.
Your dead.
I've been in here, in this hospital, listening to the heart monitor for awhile now. I know 12 days I was in a coma. I've been in here a total of 15 days so far. The last three days I've been pretending to be in a coma.
Why?
So I could listen.
When I woke, I was to weary to open my eyes. So I listened. I listened to the stillness in my lonely room, but it wasn't empty. I was aware of Kurama in the corner, reading some book, which page I could hear turning at random points.
He reads rather fast.
I listened to the swishing of Hiei's leg. I knew he was on the window, sitting calmly there, not even caring that we're on the 23rd floor.
As for Urameshi...I listened to him breathe, and felt his smaller hands stroke mine, which were quite cold. He said nothing, and his grip on my hand was soft and gentle.
That day, I kept my eyes closed, and listened to the turn of events. Shizuru stopped by for an hour, but had to leave for work. Keiko popped in the ask Uramehsi if he wanted to go do something.
I think he must've glared at her. I felt him stop stroking my hand, and then shift to look back at her. The door had closed softly as she retreated. Boeton, Koenma, Yukina, Genkai, they all visited, but none stayed all day like those four.
They left when visiting hours for me was over.
And since then I've listened.
Listened to the stillness.
Listened to the quiet conversations, that never lasted 5 minutes.
Listened to soft short breaths.
There are many things to listen to.
But mostly I've been thinking. I almost snort, Uramehsi would laugh and say, "Don't hurt yourself!" He'll probably make fun of me now, because thinking is what landed me in the bed in the first place.
I don't remember much, but I do remember in a battle...a mission...I was given a choice...I'm not sure what...but I do know that because I stopped to think about it, something struck the base of my neck. The next think I know, I'm here!
Well as I said I've been thinking.
Wondering.
I've asked myself over and over, "Are we strangers?" I'm talking about Hiei, Kurama, and even Yusuke Uramehsi, my best friend. As I lay here, in this softness, the stillness, the numbing silence, I began to wonder if my friends and I are strangers.
Are we just four people who serve Koenma, and then stand next to each other, pretending we know everything about one another. This thought bothered, me so I didn't open my eyes.
I haven't open my eyes for three days since I was out of the coma.
I've heard the soft whispers my doctors make. The soft noises, their confused words. It seems they know I'm awake, but I won't open my eyes. I've heard one say that maybe I have become locked inside my body.
Uramehsi heard that. He left, and didn't come back until the next day, (which happens to be this day) and he took my hand as if nothing was wrong.
I wonder now, if he has held my hand all 12 days of my coma.
As I asked myself this question, this question of what we are to each other, I've decided we are strangers, but not to each other. We are strangers to the world. Outcasts. People who don't quite fit in.
Hiei, the forbidden child. I'm not too sure what that means, but I know he lost his sister because of it. Not death, but he was torn away from her, and his mother. I think it had to do with something of him being male...but since he is "the forbidden child," he's separated himself from just about everything.
I think we, Kurama, Uramehsi, and me, are the only things that has started to help release his emotions.
I don't know if Kurama has separated himself on purpose, but I do know he doesn't hang out with many people. He stays with us. Many girls, and guys, have approached him, but he has declined any offer made to him. I think he was hurt once...or lost someone, and doesn't want to risk it again. He has made himself an outsider, whether he knows it or not.
Now Uramehsi...
Oh boy.
Yusuke Uramehsi, no known father, lives with his drunk mother, beats up everyone in sight if they piss him off. That will make you not only an outcast, but someone to avoid pretty quick. In the demon world he's no better. A half demon who can beat any demon...it insults those beasts.
He'd been alone in a crowded sea of people his whole life.
Then there's me.
Yes, I know I'm a fool. Everything I do I'm bad at. I'm not the greatest student, worker, fighter...there are a lot of things I can't do right. But I speak, and I listen. I tell what I think, even if it's dumb or not. I make it clear I don't understand something, even if I should, and I at least try to listen to what others have to say so I can learn.
But I'm stupid. I'm ugly. I'm too tall. I'm too built. My voice is too rough, too weird. I'm too noble. I'm not this, I'm not that, I'm too this, I'm too that. Over and over and over again I hear these things. I have one thing to say.
I'm not you.
Because of that, I'm an outcast.
As a nurse comes in, perkily spouting out some nonsense to the others, I think of them at last. My friends. Besides the fact that we're all outsiders, I need to think on how we all connect.
It's hard to see where the connection between us all are.
Hiei is dark, mysterious, bitter, angry, and vicious.
Kurama is hiding something, mysterious, smart, beautiful, and clever.
Yusuke is rash, quick tempered, loyal, caring, and sensitive.
That's right.
Sensitive.
I'm one of the few that know that, that really know that about him. He hates the fact that if he watches a movie about a tragic death that really happen he'll tear up. He hates the fact that is something happens to us, he'll worry until he just about has a panic attack. He hates the fact how he'll cling to us when he finds us after a mission gone wrong.
He hates this new him, the new him that has friends.
As for me.
What am I to them?
I don't even know what I am!
"I want him to wake up...I hate this dXmm place!"
Hiei wants me to wake up? Odd...very odd. I can't believe he just said that.
Hiei...that annoying pest. He says he'll one day cut me down. As soon as his "community service" is up with Koenma, he'll slice me to bits. Kill me. Finally get me out of his hair. Then why does he save me?
Why did he tell me to rest when I had to fight Byakko a second time?
Why did he go easy on me during training before the dark tournament?
Why did he look so angry when Toguro "killed" me?
Why did he come to rescue me from Sensui, after flat out saying he hated me?
Why did, when he left with the others for that tournament, did he actually look a little disappointed that I couldn't come?
Why haven't :I: done anything.
We can't. We're friends...only God know how it happened.
Kurama's yelling at the doctor, who said I might be a vegetable. I'm starting to feel guilty now that I've kept my eyes closed. Now that I can open my eyes, I just...can't will myself too. Can't...can't fo it.
Not until I get answers to my questions...but what are the questions?
What do I look for.
The heart monitor's picking up speed...
"STOP TALKING TO ME, AND LOOK AT HIM! YOUR NOT DOING YOUR JOB IF YOU CAN'T TAKE CARE OF A PATIENT WHO IS JUST SLEEPING THERE!"
Whoa Kurama...
Kurama...elegant red head. I have to admit, that he is gorgeous. There's something about him, that just makes you want to look at him. His eyes maybe? Perfect skin? Soft hair? Perfect. He's perfect.
Everything I wish I could be.
Everything I'm not.
But he doesn't rub my imperfection in my face. He only studies me with his green eyes. Studies me as if I'm a complicated puzzle. When I need help, he offers before I can ask. I know that he wonders about who I really am, and I think he knows that I'm not sure who I am too.
His studying on me began when he offered to tutor me in science. I came to his house, waiting for him to finish his shower, and I looked out across his street. In his neighbors window I saw their cat. She had, had kittens...6 slamm kittens. One was gray, one was white, one was black, and the rest were all these colors in one. The smallest was white, with gray ears and black paws.
I watched that kitten for a while. It was weak, and moved slow. I knew what was wrong with it...and I knew something that would help. So, with Kurama's mother's permission, I made what the cat needed, and she delivered it to the neighbors. Twenty minutes later, the cat was acting like its brothers and sisters.
That's when I realized, I'd been waiting an hour for Kurama.
I turned and there he was fully dressed and studying me from the hall ways. He'd been watching me for forty minutes.
It's kind of cool to have the smartest guy in the whole world, or at least I think he's the smartest, to study you, and try to figure you out.
"Don't you dare touch him...I don't care what you say! He's NOT locked inside his body, and he WILL open his eyes! He WILL come back to me-us. Come back to us."
Poor Urameshi. He sounds close to tears.
Yusuke Urameshi, my best friend and worst enemy. Hard to understand I know. I challenged everyday to a fight. Everyday that I was healthy. Something I always look back on, was when I had Pneumonia for a week, Yusuke showed up to my house, to ask where I'd been. I have no idea how he found out where I live, but he checked up on me ever week or so, and when I was better, refused to fight me for a good month.
We're awkward.
Then he died, and I felt as if I'd lost my best friend...which later on, when he died again, I realized I had. He came back, helped me, I helped him, we joined up as a team, yadda, yadda, yadda....Now we've been fighting side by side for...what...
Hmm...I'm 19 now....
uh...
Five years! That's it.
That's a long time...
We're not strangers...me and my friends.
We're outcasts in this world. But with each other, we are the whole world...Or...at least...
They are my whole world.
Starting to get a little loud now.
The heart monitor, the yelling, the doctors saying they need to take me off life support. My thoughts...everything's so...so loud.
It's nice to know what my friends and I are too each other.
Beep.
Beep.
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP....
1234
Yusuke, Hiei, and Kurama froze in their yelling at the doctors and turned at once to Kuwabara. The heart monitor screaming that he didn't have a flat line. But that was not because he was dead.
The frustrated teen, who could only whisper, had given up on trying to get their attention by calling them, so he'd unplugged himself from the monitor. Seeing he had their attention now, he plugged himself back in and whispered hoarsely, "What's for breakfast?"
end