/Sorry it took so long for me to update.. my computer really really doesn't like me. Chances are, this was done wayyy before I even updated but I couldn't get online. Sorry!/
Lily felt her eyes flutter and she blinked them open. The bright light burned her eyes, so she blinked once. Twice, three times until it finally her surroundings finally became clear. She turned her head to the side and winced at the movement. Slowly she took in her surroundings and realized she was in the Hospital Wing.
For one silly moment she had thought that all the bright light meant that she was in heaven, or some form of the afterlife. No, just the Hospital Wing, which was rather unimpressive considering the many times she had been there before. The fact that she was here now meant that someone had found her and brought her here. That meant someone saved her.
It was a pity, really. Why would someone want to keep her living? Why would someone want to see her walking and breathing?
Not James. Definitely not James.
Lily groaned when she realized where her thoughts were leading. This had to be a record. Not even five minutes after being awake, she was thinking about the last person she ever wanted to see again.
Lily sighed and closed her eyes. She should probably call Madame Monte or something. But did she really want to talk to anyone? She'd be asked what happened and she'd have to tell them. She really didn't want to tell anyone what had happened. She heard a faint click of heels and Lily opened her eyes. She saw Madame Monte coming close, her mind on something else.
"Hello," Lily said, her voice very weak, and startled the woman.
"Lily! Oh, Lily, dear," Madame Monte said with relief ripe in her voice. "You're awake!"
"Yes, it appears so." Lily hated the fact that her voice was barely a whisper and she could do nothing about it.
"We've all been so worried, my dear," she said, flitting around her. "You've had so many visitors and gifts. Someone was always sitting by your side. James Potter was here a few minutes ago. I persuaded him to go to the Great Hall for a bite to eat."
"James? James was here?" Lily couldn't help but sit up a little. Why would James care? He told her right out he didn't.
"Oh, yes dear. Him and that Remus Lupin, dear child that he is, are in and out all the time, more in then out mostly." The woman handed Lily a piece of chocolate. "Here, dear, eat this. It'll help you a bit."
Lily accepted the chocolate and sat up with the help of Madam Monte. As she took a bite of the candy she heard and door close and a tentative "Madame Monte?" in a familiar voice.
Lily felt her face loose all of it's color as James entered the area where her bed was. "Madame, I –"James broke off suddenly, seeing Lily's eyes open and aware. "Lily!" he exclaimed as he rushed to Lily's bedside. "Oh, Lily, you're awake!"
"Now, be gently with her, dear. Can't you see she's pale as a ghost?" Madame Monte admonished. "Now I'll leave you two alone. I'll be back, Lily must get her rest." Madame Monte walked away with her heels clicking behind her.
"Lily, I was so worried. We all were," James was saying, not noticing that Lily wasn't talking. "Remus and I were almost always in here with you. I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you woke up. Madame Monte practically pushed me out of here to the Great Hall. Oh, Lily..." James smiled a real smile for the first time in days and reached out to touch Lily's hair.
"Don't," Lily said and shrunk back reflexively. James's hand stopped in the air and he had a look of confusion on his face.
"Lily...?" he said, making the one word a question ripe with uncertainty.
"Why are you here, James?" Lily asked, looking into his eyes.
"To look over you," James replied, spacing his words out carefully.
"Leave, James. I don't know why you're here, since you're not telling me the truth, but please leave." Lily watched James's face crumble. She looked away from the face she loved so dearly.
"I don't understand, Lily. Don't you want me here?" James couldn't believe what was going on. What was wrong with her?
"That isn't the issue, James." Lily heard someone walking towards them and looked over James's shoulder. She felt a smile grow over her face. "Remus!"
James looked at her in confusion and glanced behind him to see Remus running towards them, a huge grin on his face. James watched them as they embraced each other tightly. Why hadn't he gotten a greeting like that? After a few moments Remus pulled back and James saw tears on his face.
"You're awake," Remus said softly with wonder and love, obviously forgetting that James was there. "I thought I'd lost you, Lily." He held her close again, relief flowing through him. The same thought ran through his head over and over. Lily was okay.
James watched this scene and felt horribly out of place. Lily obviously cared more about Remus than him. He slipped out of the Hospital Wing quietly.
"I'm okay, Remus, really," Lily said in a soothing tone. She could always depend on Remus to care. "But if you don't let go I'm going to suffocate." Suddenly she was jerked back and she looked at Remus in a surprise. Through the tears she saw anger.
"Don't you EVER do something so stupid again, Lily Brenna Evans!" Remus said, raising his voice a little. Lily blinked at Remus's tone. She had only ever heard him yell once, and that was the time that he fought with James – another rare occurrence – over her. "That was perhaps the most IDIOTIC thing that you have EVER done, and you have pulled some pretty stupid shit. But this – this tops the damn cake." Lily felt her jaw drop as Remus continued to scold her. "Do you have ANY idea how much we were worried about you? Merlin, Lily..."
Remus trailed off and suddenly his eyes welled up with tears. "I thought you were gone, Lils. We all did." Lily felt her own eyes brim with tears as Remus continued to speak. "Why would you do something like that? I thought that – that what happened last week meant something..." Remus's voice broke on the last word and he looked down, away from Lily's soul-piercing gaze.
Lily looked at him for a moment before she realized what he said. Last week. A whole week had passed while she slept. She lightly laid a hand on Remus's cheek, waiting for him to look up. When he didn't he didn't look up at her she said his name softly.
Slowly Remus raised his eyes up to Lily's to see her eyes, bright and green, shimmering with tears. "Lily?"
"I'm sorry, Remus. I know that doesn't make up for what I did, or how much it hurt you, but I'm truly sorry." Lily leaned towards him and gently pressed her lips to his forehead. She kept them there for a moment before she drew away and looked at Remus with her sad, bottle green eyes. "Don't think it was your fault, because it wasn't."
Remus looked at Lily with a question in his eyes. "Then why did you?" He immediately regretted the question. Remus could see Lily's eyes lock and freeze, intending to keep him out. "Lily, don't do this to me. I'll understand in you don't want to tell me, but don't freeze up on me."
Lily closed her eyes, blocking her heart against the pleading in his voice. "Sorry. I hadn't realized I'd don't that. And what happened had nothing to do with you, so it's really none of your business."
"I'm not going to stay if you're just going to lie to me." Lily heard his voice become suddenly cold. She opened her eyes to see pain flicker behind the mask he threw up. "After all we've been through I'd hope you'd at least respect me enough to tell me the truth."
Remus began to stand but stopped when Lily quickly grasped his hand. Without really noticing it, Remus laced his fingers with hers. "Remus, how could you say something like that? You know I love you."
The pain of her words slashed through him like a dull blade guided by a strong hand. "Yes, but that doesn't mean you respect me. I'd do anything for you, Lily. And I've come to realize over the past week that it's not me you'd do anything for, but James." Remus looked sadly at their joined hands, barely spending a moment at wondering how his fingers became so perfectly entwined with hers, and let go. "I wish with all my heart that we could be together, but I know that no matter what you told yourself, you'd always be in love with James."
Remus turned around and closed his eyes tightly. He never would have imagined how much that hurt. "Get better soon, Lils. We all need you around," he said and walked away. He didn't turn around when Lily shakily called his name. He just kept walking until the door of the Hospital Wing was closed behind him.
He leaned weakly against the door and clenched his jaw. He had been prepared for it, but it still hurt. By Merlin, it hurt.
James was sitting by the fire staring into the flames with Remus came back. He quietly sat next to him, knowing that James resented him. And knowing that he resented James.
"Did you tell Cassandra and Sirius?" Remus asked, his voice light and casual.
"Yes. Cass is looking for Sol and Sirius is looking for Peter." James forced his voice to be calm and unshaky, keeping his voice and words to a minimum. He knew if he said anymore he would reveal everything he was feeling.
"James..." Remus pleaded, his voice soft. "I can't be with her. It wouldn't work out." He sighed and stared into the same flames that James was contemplating. "I thought – I'd hoped – that it would if we lied to ourselves long enough." Remus looked at James and saw his hazel eyes – funny, he never realized before that James had hazel eyes – filled with amazement, confusion, and hope. "I know you still don't trust me, but I trust you. And I'm trusting you to take care of Lily. She needs you."
Remus stood up with a sigh. "I'm going up to my dorm. Not only was this a tiring day, but it's almost that time of the month." He smirked a little and was pleased when he saw James smirk in return. "Good night, James." He began to walk away but stopped when James called his name.
"Thank you, Mooney," James said softly, looking at his friend's back. "I know that this hurts you. Thank you."
"Goodnight, James."
"Goodnight, Remus." James watched his friend walk up the stairs then sat back in his chair. He looked back into the flames and suddenly realized how much Lily meant to Remus, and just how much he had given up for James. Lily was everything to Remus. Lily probably meant more to Remus than she did to James. And he gave all that up...
Remus was more of a friend to James then he had ever thought.
Yeah, sorry that sucked so much. I really couldn't think of how to end it blah blah blah. This isn't going to last too much longer. At most five more chapters, but I highly doubt it'll last that long. If any of you guys every read my other story (the one that's not titled) I haven't updated it because I figured I'd finish this one. So.. yeah.. I'll finish this one before my other one. I'll try to get my other story up soon.
Lily felt her eyes flutter and she blinked them open. The bright light burned her eyes, so she blinked once. Twice, three times until it finally her surroundings finally became clear. She turned her head to the side and winced at the movement. Slowly she took in her surroundings and realized she was in the Hospital Wing.
For one silly moment she had thought that all the bright light meant that she was in heaven, or some form of the afterlife. No, just the Hospital Wing, which was rather unimpressive considering the many times she had been there before. The fact that she was here now meant that someone had found her and brought her here. That meant someone saved her.
It was a pity, really. Why would someone want to keep her living? Why would someone want to see her walking and breathing?
Not James. Definitely not James.
Lily groaned when she realized where her thoughts were leading. This had to be a record. Not even five minutes after being awake, she was thinking about the last person she ever wanted to see again.
Lily sighed and closed her eyes. She should probably call Madame Monte or something. But did she really want to talk to anyone? She'd be asked what happened and she'd have to tell them. She really didn't want to tell anyone what had happened. She heard a faint click of heels and Lily opened her eyes. She saw Madame Monte coming close, her mind on something else.
"Hello," Lily said, her voice very weak, and startled the woman.
"Lily! Oh, Lily, dear," Madame Monte said with relief ripe in her voice. "You're awake!"
"Yes, it appears so." Lily hated the fact that her voice was barely a whisper and she could do nothing about it.
"We've all been so worried, my dear," she said, flitting around her. "You've had so many visitors and gifts. Someone was always sitting by your side. James Potter was here a few minutes ago. I persuaded him to go to the Great Hall for a bite to eat."
"James? James was here?" Lily couldn't help but sit up a little. Why would James care? He told her right out he didn't.
"Oh, yes dear. Him and that Remus Lupin, dear child that he is, are in and out all the time, more in then out mostly." The woman handed Lily a piece of chocolate. "Here, dear, eat this. It'll help you a bit."
Lily accepted the chocolate and sat up with the help of Madam Monte. As she took a bite of the candy she heard and door close and a tentative "Madame Monte?" in a familiar voice.
Lily felt her face loose all of it's color as James entered the area where her bed was. "Madame, I –"James broke off suddenly, seeing Lily's eyes open and aware. "Lily!" he exclaimed as he rushed to Lily's bedside. "Oh, Lily, you're awake!"
"Now, be gently with her, dear. Can't you see she's pale as a ghost?" Madame Monte admonished. "Now I'll leave you two alone. I'll be back, Lily must get her rest." Madame Monte walked away with her heels clicking behind her.
"Lily, I was so worried. We all were," James was saying, not noticing that Lily wasn't talking. "Remus and I were almost always in here with you. I'm sorry that I wasn't here when you woke up. Madame Monte practically pushed me out of here to the Great Hall. Oh, Lily..." James smiled a real smile for the first time in days and reached out to touch Lily's hair.
"Don't," Lily said and shrunk back reflexively. James's hand stopped in the air and he had a look of confusion on his face.
"Lily...?" he said, making the one word a question ripe with uncertainty.
"Why are you here, James?" Lily asked, looking into his eyes.
"To look over you," James replied, spacing his words out carefully.
"Leave, James. I don't know why you're here, since you're not telling me the truth, but please leave." Lily watched James's face crumble. She looked away from the face she loved so dearly.
"I don't understand, Lily. Don't you want me here?" James couldn't believe what was going on. What was wrong with her?
"That isn't the issue, James." Lily heard someone walking towards them and looked over James's shoulder. She felt a smile grow over her face. "Remus!"
James looked at her in confusion and glanced behind him to see Remus running towards them, a huge grin on his face. James watched them as they embraced each other tightly. Why hadn't he gotten a greeting like that? After a few moments Remus pulled back and James saw tears on his face.
"You're awake," Remus said softly with wonder and love, obviously forgetting that James was there. "I thought I'd lost you, Lily." He held her close again, relief flowing through him. The same thought ran through his head over and over. Lily was okay.
James watched this scene and felt horribly out of place. Lily obviously cared more about Remus than him. He slipped out of the Hospital Wing quietly.
"I'm okay, Remus, really," Lily said in a soothing tone. She could always depend on Remus to care. "But if you don't let go I'm going to suffocate." Suddenly she was jerked back and she looked at Remus in a surprise. Through the tears she saw anger.
"Don't you EVER do something so stupid again, Lily Brenna Evans!" Remus said, raising his voice a little. Lily blinked at Remus's tone. She had only ever heard him yell once, and that was the time that he fought with James – another rare occurrence – over her. "That was perhaps the most IDIOTIC thing that you have EVER done, and you have pulled some pretty stupid shit. But this – this tops the damn cake." Lily felt her jaw drop as Remus continued to scold her. "Do you have ANY idea how much we were worried about you? Merlin, Lily..."
Remus trailed off and suddenly his eyes welled up with tears. "I thought you were gone, Lils. We all did." Lily felt her own eyes brim with tears as Remus continued to speak. "Why would you do something like that? I thought that – that what happened last week meant something..." Remus's voice broke on the last word and he looked down, away from Lily's soul-piercing gaze.
Lily looked at him for a moment before she realized what he said. Last week. A whole week had passed while she slept. She lightly laid a hand on Remus's cheek, waiting for him to look up. When he didn't he didn't look up at her she said his name softly.
Slowly Remus raised his eyes up to Lily's to see her eyes, bright and green, shimmering with tears. "Lily?"
"I'm sorry, Remus. I know that doesn't make up for what I did, or how much it hurt you, but I'm truly sorry." Lily leaned towards him and gently pressed her lips to his forehead. She kept them there for a moment before she drew away and looked at Remus with her sad, bottle green eyes. "Don't think it was your fault, because it wasn't."
Remus looked at Lily with a question in his eyes. "Then why did you?" He immediately regretted the question. Remus could see Lily's eyes lock and freeze, intending to keep him out. "Lily, don't do this to me. I'll understand in you don't want to tell me, but don't freeze up on me."
Lily closed her eyes, blocking her heart against the pleading in his voice. "Sorry. I hadn't realized I'd don't that. And what happened had nothing to do with you, so it's really none of your business."
"I'm not going to stay if you're just going to lie to me." Lily heard his voice become suddenly cold. She opened her eyes to see pain flicker behind the mask he threw up. "After all we've been through I'd hope you'd at least respect me enough to tell me the truth."
Remus began to stand but stopped when Lily quickly grasped his hand. Without really noticing it, Remus laced his fingers with hers. "Remus, how could you say something like that? You know I love you."
The pain of her words slashed through him like a dull blade guided by a strong hand. "Yes, but that doesn't mean you respect me. I'd do anything for you, Lily. And I've come to realize over the past week that it's not me you'd do anything for, but James." Remus looked sadly at their joined hands, barely spending a moment at wondering how his fingers became so perfectly entwined with hers, and let go. "I wish with all my heart that we could be together, but I know that no matter what you told yourself, you'd always be in love with James."
Remus turned around and closed his eyes tightly. He never would have imagined how much that hurt. "Get better soon, Lils. We all need you around," he said and walked away. He didn't turn around when Lily shakily called his name. He just kept walking until the door of the Hospital Wing was closed behind him.
He leaned weakly against the door and clenched his jaw. He had been prepared for it, but it still hurt. By Merlin, it hurt.
James was sitting by the fire staring into the flames with Remus came back. He quietly sat next to him, knowing that James resented him. And knowing that he resented James.
"Did you tell Cassandra and Sirius?" Remus asked, his voice light and casual.
"Yes. Cass is looking for Sol and Sirius is looking for Peter." James forced his voice to be calm and unshaky, keeping his voice and words to a minimum. He knew if he said anymore he would reveal everything he was feeling.
"James..." Remus pleaded, his voice soft. "I can't be with her. It wouldn't work out." He sighed and stared into the same flames that James was contemplating. "I thought – I'd hoped – that it would if we lied to ourselves long enough." Remus looked at James and saw his hazel eyes – funny, he never realized before that James had hazel eyes – filled with amazement, confusion, and hope. "I know you still don't trust me, but I trust you. And I'm trusting you to take care of Lily. She needs you."
Remus stood up with a sigh. "I'm going up to my dorm. Not only was this a tiring day, but it's almost that time of the month." He smirked a little and was pleased when he saw James smirk in return. "Good night, James." He began to walk away but stopped when James called his name.
"Thank you, Mooney," James said softly, looking at his friend's back. "I know that this hurts you. Thank you."
"Goodnight, James."
"Goodnight, Remus." James watched his friend walk up the stairs then sat back in his chair. He looked back into the flames and suddenly realized how much Lily meant to Remus, and just how much he had given up for James. Lily was everything to Remus. Lily probably meant more to Remus than she did to James. And he gave all that up...
Remus was more of a friend to James then he had ever thought.
Yeah, sorry that sucked so much. I really couldn't think of how to end it blah blah blah. This isn't going to last too much longer. At most five more chapters, but I highly doubt it'll last that long. If any of you guys every read my other story (the one that's not titled) I haven't updated it because I figured I'd finish this one. So.. yeah.. I'll finish this one before my other one. I'll try to get my other story up soon.