Disclaimer: I suck. JK doesn't. With that information, and that information only, try to figure out who the creator of Harry Potter is. I'll give you a cookie..
Author's Note: I'm really sorry about this uber long delay on the chapter, and believe me, it's not worth it. If you don't want to read it, I don't blaim you. Rawr. I'm pissed at myself for delaying this for so long. I pretty much lost the flow of the story. So, if it doesn't end this chapter, it's going to end next chapter. ((sighs of "thank god!" are heard throughout )) Enough of my babbling. On with the story!
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Lily still couldn't believe it.
It all had to be a dream, this could not be happening to her. Any moment know she was going to wake up from this terrible nightmare and go down to breakfast and see her best friend greeting her with a cheery smile and a wave.
She would not allow this to be her reality.
"Come on, Lily, we can go see the boys now," a voice next to her said. Lily felt herself being guided out of the common and into the hallway. Dimly she was aware of the people staring at her and Dumbledore leading her and Sol towards the Hospital Wing.
Sol kept looking back at her, but Lily couldn't even find it in her to give her a sign that she was okay. They finally reached the Hospital Wing and she looked up at Dumbledore.
"Professor, is Cass in the Hospital Wing?" Lily her herself say, without actually being aware that she said it. Both the Headmaster and her friend stopped in their tracks. Lily, realizing they weren't walking anymore, looked at they both with a quizzical expression. Her face paled as she realized what she had said. "Oh god, I don't know why I said that. I suppose I'm just used to her being here and I thought that since she wasn't with us, she had to be in the Hospital Wing because there's just no way that she could be gone," Lily babbled and started breathing heavier. "Only she really is gone, so that was a really bad thing for me to say... I'm freaking out, right?"
"It's all right, Ms. Evans," Dumbledore said in a soft, comforting voice, "you're entitled."
Lily sighed and ran her hands through her hair, starting to walk again. "I just, I don't know. I think after I see Remus, James and Sirius I'll be better." Sol grabbed Lily's hand and held onto it tight, sending her a reassuring smile.
When they finally reached the doors to the Hospital Wing, Dumbledore opened the door for them and let the two girls go through. "I'll be back in a half hour to take the both of you back to the Gryffindor common room." The Headmaster nodded his head as he closed the door.
"Hello, girls, I assume you're here to see Sirius, James, and Remus?" a voice said from behind them. Lily turned slowly to see Madame Monte standing slightly away from them, her hands folded in front of her. Sol nodded and Lily did the same, in a slight daze. "Right this way, girls. They're fine, just resting, they'll be out tomorrow. This is simply a precautionary thing."
Madame Monte led the two girls towards the back of the Hospital Wing where three beds were set up, all pulled so the heads of them were forming a triangle at the center. At the moment, the three boys were sitting up, facing each other and speaking in hushed tones. "Boys, you have visitors," Madame Monte said, interrupting them. All three heads whipped up and she walked quietly away, for once not giving them an allotted time to visit.
"Lily!" James exclaimed and rushed to her, taking her into his arms and holding her tight. "Oh, Lily, I was so scared for you... So scared... I thought – I thought he was going to –"James held her closer and breathed in her scent. Merlin, she was just so beautiful. He felt her arms come tentatively around him until she was holding him close, until she was the one looking for support.
"James.. I – She's gone, James," Lily managed to sob out. "Gone. It's not right, it's not fair..."
"I know, love," James said soothingly in her ear. He easily picked her up and sat on his bed with her in his lap. "We know."
"She can't be gone, she can't, she's not allowed to," Lily said, stumbling over her words at the rush to get them out. "We were going to grow old together, our kids were going to be best friends. She planned on marrying Sirius and they were going to have lovely babies, and she was going to work for St. Mungo's and help people... IT'S NOT FAIR!"
Lily clung to James and sobbed into his shirt while he rocked her gently. Behind them, Sol sat next to Remus on his bed and watched the two. Sirius, alone on his bed, stared out the window, his face pale and drawn. And cold. He bunched his hands into fists beneath the blanket and clenched his jaw. I will never love again he told himself and held back the tears. "Never again..." he whispered aloud.
"It's okay to cry, you know," Remus said gently to his friend, who looked over at him with surprise. "You can show that you're hurt, we know. We lost her, too, Sirius. But you – you must be hurting the worst." Sirius just shook his head and looked back out the window. Remus sighed quietly and got up to sit next to Sirius. "You loved her. We loved her. But you loved her most. It's okay to let go every once in awhile, Sirius. It's okay."
Under his friend's softly sympathetic gaze, Sirius felt the tears he had been holding back to finally begin to fall down his cheeks. "Merlin, Remmy," Sirius said and rest his head on Remus's shoulder, "Lily's right. It's not fair. She had so much going for her. We were going to get married. I was going to be an Auror. She was going to work at St. Mungo's. We were going to make this work."
Remus, touched by the old nickname and gesture, put his arm around Sirius's shoulders and rest his head lightly on his. "I know, Padfoot. I could tell you guys really loved each other. But, you know, that love isn't gone. You still love her, and you always will. Just remember, she loved you forever."
Sirius lifted his head and looked at Remus sharply. "How is it that you always know exactly what to say?" he asked as he wiped tears off his face.
Remus smirked, trying to lift the mood. "I can read minds. I know what you're saying ahead of time. That way I can always plan what I'm going to say ahead of time."
Sirius chuckled a little and shook his head. "You know, Remus, if I were gay, I would have fallen in love with you a long time ago."
Remus snorted with laughter and looked over and Lily and James. "Come on, lover-boy, I think James needs help over there with Lily. I think his shirt is soaked all the way through."
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"Another year ends, but not without it's joys and it's tears," Dumbledore said to start his speech at the end of the year feast. It was a little over one month after Cassandra was murdered, and no one had forgotten. The usual chatter in the Great Hall was lower than a murmur and where the winning house color's usually hung, black drapes covered the walls and floated from the ceiling. "Although this is a time to celebrate a year completed, this is also a time to mourn. One of our very own, Cassandra Weeks, was killed on these very grounds by a cold hearted murderer we know as Voldemort." At his name, people whispered to each other, amazed that the rumors that had been going around school were true. Voldemort had come to Hogwarts.
"We who knew her, will always remember Cassandra as someone full of life, full of love, and full of hope." The Headmaster cast his eyes around the room, stopping for a minute at a spot at the Gryffindor table. There was an empty spot in between Lily Evans and Sirius Black. I spot that Cassandra usually filled. As he looked on the faces of those two students, Dumbledore felt tears coming into his eyes. "Just as she still holds her spot at her table," he nodded to Lily and Sirius, "she will always hold a spot in our hearts. Remember Cassandra, remember her life."
With a regal nod, the plates on the tables filled with food. He saw a few tentative – or very hungry – students reach for some food and put it on their plates. Soon the rest of the students followed suit. Except two students with their hands folded on the table and an empty space between them.
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"Will you visit me over the summer?" James asked Lily as the stood at Platform 9 ¾, saying their goodbyes. They were facing each other and James held both of her hands in his. Somewhere after Cassandra died, the two had started going together, desperate to find that warmth.
"Of course, James," Lily said softly and kissed him gently on the lips. "Is Sirius going to be there?"
James nodded and pulled her close to him. "He said that he wanted to try to find a place of his own, but I don't think he'd be able to. Remus mentioned something about the two of them sharing a flat or something. Sirius'll be okay, Lily." He kissed her on the forehead. "He'll pull through, he always does."
"I know, James. It's just that – it's still not fair and I feel useless," Lily said for what felt like the thousandth time. "I wish there was something I could do for him."
James smiled softly at her. "You're doing it. Being there for him. That's what he needs right now, the support you're giving him. Don't worry, love. He won't be alone."
Lily nodded and kissed him again. "I really have to get going. Tell him I'll see him over the summer. I love you, James."
"I love you, too, Lily. Bye." With one last kiss and one last hug, James walked through the barrier, back into the real world.
"Lily," someone said softly behind her. She turned quickly around to see Sirius standing slightly behind her. "I didn't mean to scare you, I just wanted to wait until James was gone before I talked to you."
"It's okay, Sirius," she said gently. Lily seemed to find that she talked to Sirius in hushed tones since – since the day it happened. Sirius hadn't just been himself since then. He looked gaunt, his face drawn, as if he hadn't eaten. At least she had James to take care of her. Sirius... well, Sirius didn't really have anyone.
"Lily, I just wanted you to know..." Sirius sighed and ran his hands nervously through his hair, looking at the ground. "James really does love you. You're all he ever thinks about." Lily looked at him in surprise. Of all the things she imagined him saying, this wasn't one of them. "I just hope you appreciate him. You never kn – know when he's going to be taken away from you."
"Oh, Sirius..." she started to say, her voice ripe with sympathy, and took a tentative step towards him. Sirius just shook his head and looked up at her with tears falling down his face and storms in his eyes.
"He'll pay for this," he said vehemently, angrily, viciously. "Voldemort. He won't get away with this. I'll see that he pays for this."
Lily felt her own eyes start to fill with tears as she closed the distance between them and hugged him tightly. She felt his arms close around her and his tears fall on her shoulder. "He'll pay. Because he won't ever understand what it is to love like we do. We love her, Sirius, and we always will. And she'll always love us."
Sirius slowly lifted his head and smiled a little. "You're really perfect for James, you know." He stepped back and walked through the barrier, waving a little at her. Lily smiled softly and walked through after him.
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Author's Note: Okay, that's the fucking end. ::hits her head against the wall:: I know, not the best of endings. But it wasn't exactly the best of stories, either. But now it's over. ::tear:: Now I'll have time to work on my other stories that I have floating around. First on my list – the untitled one that I have posted on here. Not like that's anymore interesting. Enough about that! Thank you – all of you – for sticking in with me for this long. Thank you for your kind – and slightly unkind – reviews. I love you guys!! Even the people who were a little mean. I love you! And that's it. Sorry, no personal answer's here. Bye bye!!
Rachael