AN-This is my favorite part. I love the Sanzo/Goku pairing and funnily enough I wrote this chapter before the other two. I hope you enjoy it too!
A Great Day - Chapter 3: Ain't No Sunshine When You're Gone!
Some time later, Goku found himself wide-awake. He had the feeling that something had awakened him, but for the moment, he could not quite remember what it was. He was not sure how long he had been asleep, but it was still dark so it wasn't morning yet. The storm was raging even harder than before, and for a brief second he wondered if that was what had woken him. No, that was not it. He shook his head trying to clear the cobwebs and think. There...he felt it again. It felt like...it felt like Sanzo calling him, which was strange. It was strange because it was not like he could actually hear Sanzo, just more like he felt him calling him. Not even calling, really. More like crying out to him. Like he was lost and could not find his way. Goku could almost feel the despair in that voice. Goku could not quite grasp what this was all about, but if he had learned anything in 500 years, it was that you always listened to feelings. No matter what they told you.
If Sanzo was calling him, Sanzo needed him, he would answer. He padded down to Sanzo's room and, just like earlier when he had brought up the food, paused outside the door, listening. Closing his eyes, he tried to use his acute demon senses to allow him to get a feel of what might be going on in the room. The smell of cigarettes was not as strong as before, so Sanzo had either stopped smoking or at least slowed up a bit. He did not feel anything else, but the despair almost seemed to be squeezing him like a vice. This time Goku did not knock. If by some miracle Sanzo was asleep, he did not want to be the one to wake him, but he just had to get inside that room.
He grasped the doorknob and turned it, hoping it was not locked - ah, good it wasn't! - and let himself into the room as quietly as he could. Again he paused, looking around the room. During the flashes of lightening he could see the untouched food tray still sitting on the table where he had left it. Sanzo was still sitting on the bed with his back against the wall, face turned towards the window. He did not move, and Goku could not tell if he were asleep or not. He waited for a minute and then silently closed the door. Without saying a word, he leaned his back against the door and slid down to the floor, never taking his eyes off of his mentor. He waited for the calling feeling to return and was not surprised when Sanzo moved, pulled out a cigarette, and lit the end.
"Why are you here?" Sanzo spoke in a quiet but still deadly voice, not even bothering to turn and look at him. "I thought I told you to leave me alone".
"Well, yeah, you did...but...I sort of...heard you calling me, so I had to..." Goku's voice trailed off. He was not quite sure how to explain this 'feeling' he had.
"You heard me calling you? I didn't call you, you idiot. You must be hearing things!" Sanzo snapped at him, the anger evident in his voice as he finally turned to look at Goku.
"Well, I didn't hear you exactly, it was more like I felt you calling than actually heard you". Goku pinched his brows together in tight concentration, trying to figure out a way to explain this unexplainable thing.
Glaring even harder at the boy, Sanzo snapped again "Well, I don't care whether you heard it or felt it or whatever it is you want to call it. I didn't call you and I damn sure don't want you here!"
Goku stared at him for a moment, and then finally spoke. "Sanzo, do you remember when you first came to me while I was trapped in that prison on the mountain?" Not waiting for an answer, Goku continued on. "You asked me if I had been calling you. I told you I hadn't been calling anybody, and you told me not to lie because you kept hearing me and it was driving you crazy. Then you took my hand, and you led me out of that awful place. I didn't remember calling you, but somehow I must have because you heard me. You heard me, and then you came and found me. So, now I think maybe you are calling me the same way I called you. And even if you don't realize it, just like I didn't realize it, I still think some part of you is calling me. I have to try to find that part of you that needs me. I don't know how to do that, but maybe if I am near you I can figure out how to get there. I know this isn't making any sense, but I just don't know what else to do." Goku continued to stare at the monk, fully expecting the revolver to make its appearance at any moment.
The revolver never appeared; Sanzo just stared back at him. Not moving, not changing expression...just staring at him. Was it possible? Sanzo wondered? Was there some part of him calling out for another soul to hearhis lonely cries? No, not another soul. This soul. Goku's soul.
Goku slowly got up and walked over to the bed that Sanzo was sitting on. He sat on the floor next to it, looking up to his beloved master. "Sanzo," Goku asked softly. "How did you know how to find me? I used to wonder, you know. How you knew. I'll never forget that day. The day you first found me. When I looked up and I saw you standing there, I thought I was dreaming. You couldn't be real. You just couldn't. I was so afraid to reach up to you, in case you disappeared and then I would see it was all just a dream. I had been so cold; it was always cold in that place. Then when you came, you brought the sun. The sun and warmth. I can't seem to ever get enough of warm things. Sometimes I just like to lie on the ground in a field with my head back and let the sunlight cover me. Whenever you're around, I feel warm too. You shine just like the sun. It doesn't matter if it's night or day, I still feel it. That's funny, huh? Then we left that awful cold prison and we were walking and walking and you heard my stomach growl and you gave me all your food and didn't have any more. Remember that, Sanzo?" Goku laughed as the memory of that day took over his mind. "And when I asked why you weren't eating, you said I had eaten all the food you had brought and now we would have to buy some more. Then you hit me on the head with the fan." Goku laughed again. "That was the first time you did that. Do you remember? I remember. Just like it was yesterday. I remember so many things."
Sanzo was silent. He just stared at Goku, not knowing what to say. Yes, he remembered, but he did not trust his voice to speak without cracking. There was no way he could allow himself to look so weak...so pathetic that he could not speak without allowing what would sound like tears to be heard in his words, so he said nothing at all. Just watched and listened to Goku talk.
Goku turned to stare out the same window Sanzo had been looking out and let his mind wander, remembering. He kept talking, rambling on for some time, speaking his thoughts out loud. Occasionally he would ask Sanzo if he remembered this or that, but even though he asked the questions, he did not really want or expect any replies. He just kept talking. Not loudly or excitedly like he usually did, just calmly and quietly, speaking of all the memories that just popped into his head.
He kept on talking until a sound from the bed behind him caught his ear. It was the sound of a light snore. At some point while Goku had been talking, Sanzo had leaned his head against the wall and soundlessly fellen asleep. Goku smiled. Sanzo was sleeping. On a dark, rainy night, by some miracle, Sanzo had actually fallen asleep. Goku could not believe it. He looked so peaceful right now. So calm. In fact Goku could almost swear he was smiling. Ha, wouldn't that be a first? The Great Genjo Sanzo the Thirty-First, smiling in his sleep. It was at this point that Goku realized something else. He could not feel Sanzo calling for him anymore. The despairing feeling seemed to have vanished somehow and was replaced by one of...well, for lack of a better Well, Sanzo, he thought. Maybe I couldn't find you, but I guess you heard my voice again and you found me. Goku sat there on the floor by the bed, never taking his eyes off of his master. He watched Sanzo sleep until the sun's rays began to creep over the horizon. The rain had finally stopped and it looked like it was going to be a good day. Goku finally rose and slipped quietly out of the room.
A short time later Goku made his way downstairs, hoping to get a bit to eat before Sanzo would want to hit the road. Sanzo tended to carry that rainy night bad temper into the next morning, and more often than not, made them leave without what Goku considered an adequate amount of food to keep his strength up. Maybe if he was lucky, he could sneak in a sufficient quantity before Sanzo came down. Much to his surprise, he saw Sanzo already at a table with a plate in front of him. Sanzo looked up when Goku entered and stared at him for a few moments without saying a word.
Slightly embarrassed to be caught staring, Sanzo looked away and spoke in a rough voice. "I figured you would be hungry this morning so I went ahead and ordered several of everything on the menu. You'd better hurry up and get it down so we can get the hell out of here." While the words themselves were not exactly the ones a cheerful person might have used, they did not have the bite that they would normally have had from the short-tempered Sanzo priest. Goku quickly realized this was Sanzo's way of saying, 'thank you.' Sanzo had never been the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve or spout out flowery speeches, and probably never would be. Hell, there was no probably about it. Sanzo would never be that type. In fact, this was as close as he would ever get to saying anything that showed emotion of any kind, and that was good enough for Goku.
Happy at the thought that not only would he be allowed to eat, but almost be given a free reign on indulging his appetite, Goku's perception that this really was turning out to be not only a good day, but a great day was greatly strengthened. Much to Goku's delight, the waitress began delivering the promised food to the table. "Thanks Sanzo!"Goku squeaked out, and for an appreciable length of time he was occupied with consuming as much food as was humanly - or demonly, as the case may be - possible.
Hiding his smile behind his newspaper, Sanzo just mumbled. There really was not any need for words. Goku understood that it was just not Sanzo's way to speak out his innermost feelings, and accepted him, with all his shortcomings, bad temper and inability to express himself, for just who and what he was. Nothing more and nothing less. Goku could be content with just a silent meaningful gesture to show what could not be said.
Fortunately for Goku, it was some time before Gojyo appeared with a smiling Hakkai in tow, and he had been able to eat to his heart's content while Sanzo read his paper. Gojyo and Hakkai sat down to eat, and for once, they all managed to enjoy a breakfast unmarred by the usual bickering that always seemed to accompany each meal. No mention was made by any member of the party about the night's unusual activities and after a short time they were back in the jeep, heading westward once again. Feeling a bit tired after having stayed up all night watching over Sanzo, Goku laid his head back and closed his eyes. He could feel the sun shining down on him with its familiar satisfying heat, and he smiled.
Yes, was Goku's last discernable thought before falling into a deep contented sleep, It really is going to be a great day!
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keistje - Thanks for all your motivation and support. One day I hope to be as good as you! Til then I will just have to keep trying!!