God's in 7th Heaven, All's Right with the World

by Cypher

Chapter Three: Questions

          "When's Simon getting up?  It's nearly nine."  Matt paced in the living room.

          "Calm down.  He sleeps in on weekends.  You know that."  Robbie drank his glass of orange juice.  "Besides, he'll come to you, not the other way around.  Simon has his own way of dealing with things."

          "What things?"  Annie walked into the room, bringing the twins.  "What things is Simon dealing with?"

          Matt paused in his pacing.  "You know he's dealing with things?"

          Eric followed Annie, bringing some of the twins' toys with him.  "We know he's dealing with things, do you know what things?"

          "We don't know, but we know who knows."  Matt crossed his arms and nodded. 

          "Who knows what we don't know about Simon dealing with things we don't know about?"  Eric blinked, unsure of what he just said for a moment.

          "Terry." 

          Robbie nodded.  "Terry."

          "Terry..."  Annie looked at Eric.
          "Terry?  Where?"  Lucy wandered into the living room.  "We're talking about Terry Dax?"

          "Well, we were talking about Simon."  Eric sat down and put the toys in front of Sam and David. 

          "Simon?  He's taking a shower."
          Matt and Robbie exchanged glances, Annie tilted her head, and Eric looked at the ceiling.  The twins made some noises and pointed up.  Lucy just raised an eyebrow and shook her head.  "What's wrong with Simon?"

          "He's upset."

          "Confused."

          "Acting strange."

          Lucy lowered her head and stared at her family.  "He seems fine.  Certainly acted normally when he asked me to keep an ear out for the doorbell."

          "Doorbell?  Are we having company?"  Eric looked around the room.

          "Just to tell him if Dax came early."

          "Ah hah.  So it IS Terry's fault for Simon's mood."  Matt stood up and looked out the window. 

          Robbie grabbed the front page of the paper and began reading, deciding it would be safer to butt out for now. 

          "I don't know what you four are so worked up about."  The other Camdens looked at Lucy.  "He's hanging out with a junior that'll probably end up at Stanford with honors or something.  Maybe he's just being tutored and he was weird last night because he was tired from studying."

          The three other Camdens looked at Lucy, contemplating what she said.

          "Nah."  Matt shook his head and waved a hand.  "He would ask me before he asked a stranger."

          "And how many times have you forgotten about him because something you felt was more important came up?"  Lucy crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at her older brother. 

          "Well...I...that is..." Matt rubbed his head and put a hand in a pocket.  "Is anyone hungry?  I'm...gonna go get something to eat."  He pointed towards the kitchen and left.

          "Lucy, why are you sticking up for this Terry guy?"  Eric looked at his daughter.

          Lucy shrugged.  "Well, he seems like a nice guy.  Can't I just stick up for a nice guy every now and then?"

          "She's hoping it wins her brownie points with him so he'll go out with her."  Ruthie entered and sat next to Annie. 

          "Ruthie!" Lucy uncrossed her arms and glared at the younger girl.

          "So you like him?"  Annie eyed Lucy.

          "Yeah...well, so?  Can't I still defend him?"

          "I think you should just go get some breakfast."  Eric nodded towards the kitchen.  "Get Ruthie hers, too."

          Lucy huffed and left.

          "So, when's Terry arriving?"  Ruthie looked between Annie and Eric.

          "Kitchen."  Annie gave her a slight push.

          "Fine, fine.  But I wanna hear all about it when I get back."  Ruthie left.

          Eric shook his head and looked at Annie.  "So what do we do about Terry?"

          "If Lucy's right, I don't want to discourage Simon.  But if it's depressing him..."

          "I know."  Eric rubbed his head.  "Maybe we could ask him to tutor...less harshly?"

          "Maybe, but I don't think it's about tutoring."  Annie crossed her arms and leaned back, looking to the side.  "There's something that's being hidden from us, and I wanna know what it is."

          "Something Terry is hiding?"

          "Him and Simon.  And I want to find out what it is."

          "How do we do that without letting them know we're on to them?"

          "I'm working on it."

          Simon came down the stairs, fully dressed in jeans and a gray shirt.  "Hey guys, I'm going to Terry's for the day.  I should be back tonight."

          "What are you doing?" Annie looked at her son.  "Studying?"

          Simon thought for a moment.  "Kinda.  I...don't get something, and he's going to explain it to me."

          "Does this have to do with last night?" Eric glanced over as well, keeping one eye on the twins.

          Simon shifted from one foot to the other.  "Yeah.  It's really complicated, but he promised to explain it to me today.  Otherwise I have to wait until next Friday...and I really can't wait that long."

          "Well, what is it?  Maybe we can help."  Eric partially turned around.

          Annie nodded in agreement.

          Simon opened his mouth, then closed it again. I can't tell them.

          "It's about hyperbolic functions and their derivatives within the context of negative integrals and the practical applications to life."

          Simon turned a relieved face to the front door, which had Terry leaning in, smiling.  "Hey Terry."

          "Hey.  Sorry about not knocking, but it was unlocked."  Terry stepped in and tilted his head at the Camden parents, smiling.  "That explain what we'll be working on today?"

          "Uhh..."  Eric looked at Annie.

          Annie gave a strained smiled.  "Alright.  When will you be home?"

          "Well, we're going over a few other things, so it may not be until late tonight."

          Annie looked at Simon.  "Alright.  Call if you won't make dinner."

          "He will.  Come on, Simon.  I left the bike running." Terry headed out.

          "Bye."  Simon followed quickly.

          Eric had raised eyebrows towards his wife.  "You understood that?"

          "Not a word, but that's not what they're doing."  Annie frowned.

          "What do you mean?  He just said-"

          "I heard what he said, but I don't believe him."  Annie picked up one of the twins.  "We'll talk to Simon about it when he gets back."

          "Why not just ask him now?"  Eric picked up the other twin just as the sound of a motorcycle pulling away was heard.  "Ah, well..." Eric blinked and pointed to the door.  "Did we just let Simon go riding on a motorcycle with a kid barely older than him?"

          Annie rolled her eyes and headed for the kitchen.  "Yes, but there's not much we can do now, is there."

~*()*~

          "Jordon!  I'm home!"  Terry placed his helmet on a hook by the door, his jacket beneath it.  "Yo, you in?"

          Simon glanced around the room.  He was slightly surprised when Terry had just driven fifteen blocks to a small house.  There was a rose garden in front of the lawn, acting as a fence.  There was a small porch, too, that contained a table and a couple chairs.

          "Guess he's not home.  Just go ahead and put the helmet next to mine."  Terry headed off.

          Simon looked to the right of the door and found a second hook.  He placed the helmet on it and took a longer glance around the room.  There were two couches to the right of the front door, catty-corner, facing a flat screen TV hanging on the wall opposite the door.  A squat bookcase sat below the TV, containing a DVD player, VCR, and a number of tapes and DVDs. 

          Terry stretched and entered a doorway next to the couch.  "You thirsty?  Hungry?"

          "Uh, no, thanks, though."  Simon took a seat on the couch facing the TV.  The wall next to the door had a window to the outside, though it had its shades drawn.  The wall on his left had more bookcases, these filled to the brim with books of ever variety Simon had heard of: theology to science fiction to astronomy.  He also noted a lot of the textbooks Dax brought to school.  So he owns them.  The left wall also had a doorway, opposite the kitchen one.  Must lead to his room.  Simon found the thought of visiting Terry's room warming for some reason and he blushed slightly.

          Terry returned with a bottle of water.  Opening it, he looked Simon over.  "So you want a tour now?  Or just ask questions."

          Simon stood up, rubbing his hands together a bit.  "Um, how about a tour?"
          Terry glanced over his shoulder.  "Through here's a small hallway leading to the kitchen and garage/laundry/pantry on the right.  The left leads to a dinning room and out to the back yard."

          Simon stood next to Terry and looked down the hall.  There were a number of paintings on the wall.  Some, he noted, had Terry's signature as the artist.  "You do artwork?"

          "I gave it up a while ago.  Though every now and then I have an urge to do it and indulge."  Terry sipped from his water.  "Next year I'm taking an art class.  Need to ensure college credit in fine arts."  Terry headed for the other doorway.  "This is the living room, which you've studied."  He stopped at the other doorway.  "Hallway that leads to the bathroom and three bedrooms.  Though the third is mostly used as an office."

          Simon took another moment to examine a wall scroll he saw before heading over to Terry.  "Which is your room?"

          "The far one."  Terry pointed to the farthest back right door.  "We like our privacy, plus when I was younger Jordon needed the sound cushioning."

          "Sound cushioning?"  Simon furrowed his brow.  "Loud music?"

          "Sort of."  Terry headed down the hall.  "The first door on the left is my brother's.  I'll spare you the view."  He smirked.  "Usually looks like a town in the aftermath of a hurricane."  Terry kept walking.  "First door on the right is the bathroom, Jacuzzi tub, a shower, dual vanity sinks."  He shrugged.  "Comes in handy when we're in there the same time in the morning." 

          Simon looked in.  "Jacuzzi?  Did you pay to install that yourself?"

          Terry shook his head.  "Mom went all out remodeling.  She's only here maybe two days a year, but since we liked it here the most, she decided it was worth it."  He opened the second door on the left.  "Guest room, as you can see, our desktop computer lives here."

          Simon looked in.  A small dresser and bed took up half the room, the other half was taken up by a desktop computer, printer, and other equipment placed on a large desk.  "Who stays here?"

          "People who need a place to sleep when they want to get away from their families, guests, mom when she visits."  Terry went to the last door.  "My room isn't very clean, but it's cleaner than Jordon's."  He opened it a bit.

          Simon found himself hurrying over to look in.  Forcing himself to slow down, he noted that Terry's room was bigger than the guest room.  A music stand and a thin case stood in the far corner. "You play something?"

          "The flute.  I still do when I need to concentrate.  I find the ability to focus emotions through a medium help me sometimes."  Terry closed the door and headed back to the living room.  "But we came to talk about you, right?"

          Simon's shoulder slumped a bit and he followed the older teen.  "Oh, yeah..."

          Terry took a seat in the corner of the couch, where they could face each out.  He placed his bottle on the end table.  "Sit, let's talk.  I know this is...difficult?  Confusing?"

          Simon sat where Terry indicated and hunched forward, resting his arms on his knees.  "How can you know?  I mean, all my life I've been taught it's wrong, and now I suddenly find myself..." Simon looked away.

          "Attracted to men, going against everything you've ever learned?"  Terry sat back.  "You're not the first person I've helped through this transition.  I went through it too, though I realized it earlier than most."

          Simon looked back at Terry.  "How?  I mean, you're smart and all, but you don't seem like you'd have time to even consider a love life, not to mention realizing that you're gay."

          "Well, mom introduced sexuality to me, and to some extent Jordon, very early on.  I was only seven, and my brother, he practically had blood dripping from his nose, and he was twelve."  Terry got up and looked through some tapes, before bringing one back.  He handed it to Simon.

          Simon turned bright red just glancing at the cover.  "Pornographic animation?"

          "Anime."  Terry turned the box over.  "The plotline dealt with realizing sexuality, and you can't have that without certain sexual scenes."  He chuckled.  "Our teachers were furious, but the kids voted mom 'Mother of the Year' just on this alone.  It was quite amusing."  Terry stared past Simon for a moment before his grin shrank, returning to the serious expression he had before.  "The point, though, is that she didn't want us to grow up unsure of ourselves.  Jordon right off knew he was straight.  Period.  And though he won't ever admit it, the wet dreams reinforced it."  Terry took the tape back and put it where it belonged.

          Simon coughed a moment, regaining his train of thought.  "But...you...weren't sure?"

          Terry came back and drank some of his water.  "Bingo.  I watched mom's suggested list over and over, and the more I watched, the more I realized it was the guys I was attracted to, not the women.  So she got a shounen ai," he glanced at Simon's confused look, "boy-love series, and I realized I could sympathize more with that plotline.  I did explore the opposite sex for a short time, but my real first crush was on a boy, not a girl."

          "Does your brother know?  Did he...object?"  Simon looked towards the television.

          "Does he know?  Hell, he gave me the shove to ask my crush out.  He's always been supportive of me.  You wouldn't know it, but he actually is quite responsible and protective when it comes to me.  He taught me to defend myself should I get picked on because of my orientation.  He helped me explore who I was, my talents, the advantages and disadvantages to coming out."  Terry finished his water and looked at Simon.  "Like I'm going to help you."

          "Did I mention I really appreciate it?"  Simon stared at his hands again.  "I mean, I've been dating for years, but now that I think about it," Simon laughed a little, "now that I think about it, it was because I was trying to be like Matt and all the other guys at school.  It was like I was...expected to or something."
          "You're not your brother, though." 

          "But haven't you ever tried to mimic your brother?  To be more like him?"  Simon looked over at Terry.

          Terry sat back and put a hand to his chin, thinking.  "Well, getting into college above freshman year.  Otherwise, not really.  We love each other greatly, and he looks out for me, but we're entirely different people in so many respects that I never tried to be like him.  I mean, even our first jobs were completely opposite, he went out for a job at the library, and I-" Terry blinked and looked at Simon.  "Uh, I went for something different."

          Simon tilted his head.  "You don't want to tell me?"

          "Another thing I've found wise is to hide what I do for an after school job.  Besides, you'll find out this Sunday, probably."

          "Why?"

          "You just will. The point is," Terry patted Simon's arm, "you're not your brother, and you can't be who your family expects you to be.  You have to be yourself, no matter what."

          "But how?"  Simon rested his forehead in his hands.  "Dad would go nuts, mom, well, I don't even want to think about what she'd do.  And my brothers and sisters, they'd hate me!"

          Terry leaned forward and looked into Simon's eyes.  "Do you really think your family would care so little as to pass judgment without an explanation, without hearing you out?"

          "Well, they..." Simon paused, unsure.  "I'm pretty sure mom and dad would go bonkers.  Matt too, probably."

          "And the others?"

          "I'm...not entirely sure."  Simon sighed.  "I don't even know if this is me and already I'm worrying over telling my family."

          "Well, the first step is to explore it, see if this is a phase, or who you are."  Terry stood up and headed for the kitchen, carrying his empty bottle. 

          Simon sat there, staring at the floor.  A phase...this could all be a phase.  Damn it, why me?  What did I ever do to deserve this?

          Terry came back with two more bottles, one he handed to Simon.  "Why don't we start with the obvious question."

          Simon took the bottle and looked up at Terry.  "What question is that?"

          "Why are you attracted to me, and men in general?"

          Simon blushed a bit and looked away.  "Well...I'm not really sure.  I mean, I've noticed other men, but why I like them more...I'm not sure."

          "Why don't I start with what attracted me to you."

          Simon turned back to Terry.  "Isn't it just because I came under your tree?"

          Terry chuckled, opening his bottle.  "That's part of it, but only a small part."  Terry put his bottle down and held up his hand, ticking off reasons with his fingers.  "By everything I heard, you were a sweet, caring, sensitive guy.  You're smart, not ignorant about the world or life."  Terry smirked a bit.  "I've always had a thing for cute blonds."

          Simon ran a hand through his hair.  "But how did you know..."

          "I didn't.  That's always a risk.  But when I saw your eyes, I knew you were fighting with something, that you needed someone to help you with something.  I just took a stab at what it was.  To be honest, I would have asked you out even if you weren't gay just because you are such a nice guy.  But when you didn't pull your hand away, I knew what it was."

          "Oh..." Simon crossed his arms. 

          "So why are you attracted to me?  Or men in general?"

          "I'm...not sure.  Some of the girls I've gone out with were really nice to be with...but we always ended up just being friends.  Plus until recently, my house has been dominated by the female gender."

          "You mean three sisters and only one brother?"

          Simon nodded.  "And men kind of seem more reliable than women."
          "That's from dating so many women that just want to be friends.  Women are very reliable, believe me."  Terry thought a moment.  "Well, most anyways.  Now, what about me?"

          Simon blinked and bit his lip.  "I think...just your eyes.  They're so...captivating."  He sat up and held up a hand.  "Not to say that you don't look great or have a bad personality or anything.  I mean, you're the only person I've talked to about this, and you've been so helping that you're one of the best people I've met.  But...am I making sense?"

          Terry rolled his eyes and smiled.  "Simon, its okay.  This is a journey you're undertaking.  You just have to realize things for yourself.  If my eyes are all that attracted you, that's fine.  When we first met, that's basically all you knew about me."

          "Oh, sorry, though.  You've been great-"

          "Simon, you.  Focus on you."  Terry patted Simon's knee.  "I've passed the journey.  Now I'm helping you go through it."

          "But what if I'm straight and this is all useless?"  Simon took Terry's hand and held it.  "I mean, won't you be angry if you go through all of this and I decide to go with girls again?"

          Terry squeezed Simon's hand.  "It's never useless to explore who you are.  God doesn't make mistakes, and if you're gay, I'm happy.  If you're straight, I'm still happy.  We'd still be friends."

          "God?" Simon blinked.  "But...I mean, doesn't the bible say that...it's wrong?"

          "In the old school of thinking.  I find even I need the consolation that everything is in the hands of a higher being that has our interests in mind.  I'm part of a more progressive Christian denomination that accepts homosexuality as something that existed in biblical times, and has returned today.  And they interpret homosexuality as acceptable within certain contexts."
          Simon turned slightly, facing Terry more.  God had always been a source of comfort, and hearing that God might accept him for this helped calm him a bit.  "What...what type of contexts?"

          "For starters, it's not just for the sake of having a good time.  God created Tabris, who gave us free will, which means we choose who we fall in love with.  If we find our true love is in a man, then yes, it's fine."  Terry frowned.  "On the other hand, if you just want to screw a guy for the heck of it, that is a sin.  It's why I keep my relationships very defined, with no sex."

          Simon nodded a bit.  "Just, who is Tabris?"

          Terry blinked.  "You do know of the angels, do you not?  The Angel of the Womb, the Angel of Fear?"

          Simon shook his head.

          "Well, Tabris is the Angel of Free Will.  The angels are, of course, optional to believe in."  Terry tilted his head.  "You want to come to my church Sunday?  You can learn more from the reverend there."

          "I..." Simon's eyes went to the ground.  "I can't.  My dad's a minister, and I have to be at his service."

          "Hey, I understand."  Terry got up and went to one of the bookcases.  "Still, why don't I give you some reading.  It may help you reach peace with God about your sexuality."  He pulled out two books.  "The other just has info on the angels and such."  He brought them back and set them next to Simon.

          Simon picked up one and flipped through it.  "What if my family asks why I have these books?"

          "Tell them you're doing a school project that requires this for source materials.  Say it's..."  Terry looked at the ceiling.  "Hmm...say it's for English.  They have you reading obscure references all the time."

          Simon frowned.  "They do?"

          Terry blinked and looked at him.  "Well, in AP they do.  Don't they in normal English?"

          "Not usually."

          "Well, I doubt they'd know that."

          Simon thought about that for a moment. "Alright."

          "So, why don't we continue with analyzing why you may or may not be gay," Terry looked at his watch, "after I make us lunch."

          Simon sat up and looked at his watch as well.  "It's already one?!"

          "Time flies when you're debating life-altering decisions."  Terry headed for the kitchen.

          Simon followed him.  "You're telling me.  Will we finish by dinner?"

          "No, but I'll make sure we're at a breaking point.  Then next Friday, why don't I come over for dinner?"

          "What?"  Simon's eyes widened.  "B-b-but I'm not even sure-"

          "To meet your family, Simon.  I'll bring mine so your parents will relax a bit around me.  I won't say a thing about what happened here, or about my preference."

          Simon visibly relaxed.  "Oh, well, I think that'd be okay."

          "Great, now, turkey or ham on your sandwich?"