God's in 7th Heaven, All's Right with the World
by Cypher
Chapter Nine: The Cat's Outta the Bag
After Lucy had discovered Terry and Simon's secret, the two siblings seemed to grow closer, Lucy often checking on Simon to see how he was doing, if he wanted to talk, stuff like that. The couple times Matt had caught the two talking in Simon's room, both had gone silent and just looked at him, watching him until he left.
It was slightly disturbing to Matt, and though he wouldn't admit it, he felt jealous. Jealous that Simon, the little brother that had always confided in him, had always looked up and respected him, had gone to Lucy instead. What were they talking about that he couldn't know? He was the eldest brother, it was his duty to know everything.
He talked to Ruthie a few times, trying to pry any information out of her that Simon and Lucy were denying him. As it turned out, though, she knew just as little as he did. That disturbed him. A secret that even Ruthie couldn't snoop around to find out? The only thing she had known that he didn't was the mentioning of Terry's name every now and then.
First Simon was keeping a secret with Terry, and now with Lucy. What's going on? Perhaps I'm reading too much into this. Maybe they're preparing a surprise party for my graduation. And Simon went to Lucy because I won't be here next year, so he's testing out how good an advisor she is. He paused a moment. Naw. Lucy isn't the best person to confide in, much less seek advice from.
When Mary returned home suddenly, Matt forgot about Lucy and Simon's secret meetings, as, it appeared, did they. In fact they united together to try and protest Annie's decision to give Mary the garage apartment. It backfired, of course. And within a couple days, they were back in the house, though Annie had calmed down and Mary apologized to everyone.
Throughout the month of these meetings and Mary's return, Terry and Simon continued to go out under the guise of friends. Once or twice Terry and Lucy talked quietly before or after the date, but no one could pick up exactly what it was about. As things calmed down, Simon's mind began to wonder if this was the time to tell everyone. Terry had suggested it at the beginning of the month, and on their last date, had even straight out asked Simon if he had told them.
Christmas was approaching and Simon wondered if he would be exchanging gifts with Terry. He was about to say something over their seafood dinner, when Terry looked him in the eyes. Simon met the stare, then looked away. He knew what was coming.
"Simon, it's nearly Christmas, not to mention the new year. Are you sure you want to celebrate the holidays under such false pretenses?"
Simon pushed his food around. "It's just...it's not easy, Terry. You saw how Lucy reacted. Mom and dad and Matt," he closed his eyes a moment, "I don't want to alienate them, Terry."
Terry rested his arms on the table. "Would you rather alienate me? I really like you, Simon, but I can't keep lying to your family, especially one as big as yours. You're lucky no one but Lucy has found out yet, and do you really think that'll last?"
"No." Simon sighed. "It's just...hard."
"I know it's hard, Simon, but it's better you tell them rather than they find out." Terry reached out and patted Simon's hand. "Trust in them, and in the love they have for you. You did for Lucy and look how well it turned out."
"Maybe..." Simon took a bite of his food.
Terry closed his eyes and sat back, taking a deep breath. "Simon, I hate to do this, I really do, but if I don't my brother will."
"Will what?" Simon looked at Terry.
"Simon, I really like you, but I use a lot of energy during the week for all my normal activities, and that's why I have Friday's off. Lying to your family also takes a lot of energy, energy I would rather spend on something else. Jordon's noticed how tired I am because of it."
"Terry..." Simon swallowed. You can't leave me.
"Simon, just listen." Terry opened his eyes.
Simon could see the pain behind them, as well as the weariness. I've been causing this?
"I was talking with Jordon, and he rarely interferes with my life, but in this case I'm not being given a choice. I can't keep up the lie to your family much longer. I like them too much." Terry looked at his plate. "Tell them...before the new year rolls in."
Simon waited a moment. "Or he's going to make you break up with me."
Terry nodded slightly. "Normally I'd kill him for forcing this on both you and I, but for once he's right. I have APs coming up next semester, and with everything else going on, I won't be able to keep up the facade."
Simon tilted his head back, staring at the ceiling. "It...it's not going to be easy."
Terry nodded slowly. "I know. If you want me to be there to help, I will be. Whatever you need, just ask. And Lucy promised to help."
"What happens if they forbid me to see you again?"
Terry picked up his glass of water and drank most of it. "It's up to you. I will tell you this, though."
Simon looked over at his dinner companion.
"If they make it very clear that it's between me and them, chose them."
"What?" Simon sat up. "What do you me-"
"Family is very important to you, Simon. I know how much they mean to you. You could never truly be happy with me if you were outcast from your family. Perhaps with me out of the picture, they'd realize that you are who you are, no matter what boy you're with."
"Terry, I won't let them-"
Terry hit his hand on the table. "I'm serious, Simon!"
Simon jumped slightly. He could feel moisture gathering within his eyes, and see that Terry had water in his as well, though his eyes were hard. He is serious, but, I don't know if I could live without him. "Terry, I can't just-"
"If it's between me and them, Simon, then you choose them." Terry swallowed, loud enough that Simon could hear. "You need them in your life."
Simon looked at the table and noticed Terry's hand, the one he had hit the table with. It's shaking. Pausing a moment, he reached out and gripped Terry's hand, steadying it. "If it comes between you and them, I can't guarantee-"
"I want you to promise me, Simon. I hate this as much as you, if not more so. But I know you, I know that you can't be truly happy without them."
Simon frowned. "You know me?" He looked at Terry, his eyes reflecting green in the light. "I think I know myself better than you, Terry." He let go of the hand. "I'll make my own decision, alright? I think I know what will make me happy."
Terry looked over Simon's scowling face. He didn't say anything for a few minutes, just stared. Then, suddenly, he looked away, examining his coat. "You're right. You know yourself better than I." He gathered up his coat, looking for his wallet. "I guess my concern for your happiness, your best interests, made me forget that you know yourself pretty well." He pulled out a couple twenties and looked at Simon, the hardness gone from his golden eyes, but the tears unshed far more prominent. "After all, I'm just trying to help you."
"Terry," Simon grabbed Terry's arm, "stay."
Terry paused, biting his lip. He glanced over at Simon. "I think I should head home." He took Simon's hand and gently placed it on the table. "I know you think you know yourself well, but I've seen the outcomes of these before. One friend I had committed suicide because he chose a guy over his family."
Simon blinked. "He...did?"
"You're like him in many ways, Simon. You need your family. It's so much a part of your life that without it, you can't survive. Your heart tells you to choose me, but if you do, you'll regret it." Terry put on his coat. "I'm here for you, I'll be there when you tell them, I'll support you in any way. But I won't let you kill yourself emotionally."
Simon rummaged and searched for his own coat. He paused when he felt Terry place a hand on his shoulder.
"Stay and think. We're not far from your house." He paused, then leaned down and kissed Simon's forehead. "Call me when you've decided to tell them. You shouldn't have to face it alone." Terry stepped back and headed for the door of the restaurant.
Simon sat there, debating between running after Terry and doing as he asked. Glancing out the window, he saw storm clouds gathering, and Terry had already melted into the darkness. Facing his cooling meal, he thought over what Terry had said. True, his family meant a lot to him, but sacrifice his relationship to Terry for them? He wasn't sure he could do that.
But are you so sure he's wrong? Part of his mind asked him. He's been right about you for a lot of things. What if he's right again, that you can't live without your family?
I'm not sure I can live without Terry, either. Simon felt a sickness in his stomach, and not from the food. I haven't told him how much he means to me, he doesn't know my true feelings.
Neither does your family. Is it fair to leave them out?
No, but I don't know what they'll think, or how they'll react. Simon held his head in his hands, shaking his head slowly as the internal argument went on.
How about how Terry will, then? You know what he's thinking and his reactions. He wants you to tell. Hiding it is doing damage to both of you. Do you want to lose him because you're too cowardly to face your family? They'll find out sooner or later. Why not sooner, when you can still have him?
Simon blinked, a tear sliding down his face. Because I'm afraid. I'm afraid.
Of what? Their reactions?
No...that I won't be able to choose. Simon took a napkin and wiped his nose. I love them both. I need them both.
So tell them, and maybe you can have both. Stop hiding behind lies and fears. Be a man, Simon Camden.
Simon blinked. Be...a man? He sat up slightly. A man. A man wouldn't hide his true feelings.
So grow up. Go home and tell them. Now, this instant. Show not only them, but Terry, that you're a man.
Simon nodded, grabbing another napkin and wiping his tears away. "I will. I'll tell them tonight."
Outside, the dull roar of thunder flew through the sky, and the downpour began.
~*()*~
"Aniki! Where's my Day of Second Impact CD?"
Jordon stuck his head out of his bedroom. "Beats me." He blinked, then headed down towards his brother's room. "Did something happen? You usually listen to that when you're painting or when you're upset." Jordon glanced out at the living room. "Since the coffee table is clear, I'm guessing you're upset."
"That's why you're a genius, aniki." Terry let out a frustrated yell and plopped down on his bed. "It's not here!"
Jordon stepped over the wet shoes Terry had placed by the door and carefully looked through the CD collection. Without saying a word, he reached in and pulled out the CD Terry was looking for. He placed it in Terry's lap before sitting next to him. "What's wrong? Did you and Simon have a fight?"
Terry looked away.
Jordon sighed. "He didn't like your suggestion of choosing the family over him."
"Sometimes I wish you didn't know me like you do." Terry stood and went to his desk, picking up a CD player.
"I told you not to push it. We've seen the outcomes, he hasn't. He can't understand your concern if he chooses wrong."
Terry placed the CD in, but remained standing by his desk, staring at his reflection in the glass surface.
Jordon got up and hugged his brother. "If he truly has feelings for you, he'll understand why you made the request and forgive you."
"What if he doesn't understand why? What if I've pushed him away?" Terry looked at the back of the CD case. "What if I've lost him?"
Jordon barely caught the last question, it was spoken so softly. He rubbed Terry's shoulders. He knew saying anything more wouldn't help. Terry had to forgive himself on his own. Still, there were ways of speeding up the process. "You know, we haven't watched Slayers in a while. Why don't we go out to the living room and watch the movie?"
Terry shook his head. "Thanks, but I really don't feel like it."
Jordon pursed his lips. "No movie?"
Terry shook his head again.
Damn. This really has him down. "Alright." He squeezed Terry's shoulder reassuringly. "I'll be in my room if you need me."
"Thanks." Terry put his earphones in his ears and headed for the living room, carrying the CD player in one hand, and picking up a book at the edge of his headboard as he walked by.
Jordon shook his head when he saw what book he had taken. The Bible. May it bring him better comfort than I could give.
~*()*~
Simon glanced around the room. Robbie was sitting next to Ruthie on the couch, which also held Lucy with a questioning look. I have to do this on my own. Matt and Mary were sharing the living room chair. That is, Matt was sitting in it, and Mary was forced to sit on the armrest. And to his left, his parents, Eric and Annie, were sitting on the other couch, staring at him. Inside, he could feel his heart pounding, like it was trying to escape his chest. His stomach wasn't fairing much better. As soon as his family had entered, it had begun doing back flips, trying to make him sick. Not this time. I'm not running away, I'm not backing down. I'm a man. I won't hide any more.
"Well? What's so important, Simon?" Matt crossed his arms. "It is getting late."
Simon glanced at the clock. Ten. He swallowed the lump in his throat and took a deep breath. "Well, um, you know that I was acting really...well, moody, upset, stuff like that. I...I've decided it's time you knew why."
Eric glanced at Annie a moment. Lucy had gone pale, and even looked a little sick as well. She shook her head slightly, trying to stop Simon. Matt leaned forward.
Robbie waited a moment. "Well? Don't just go silent."
"Um, well, I was having some trouble on deciding what...who I was. Then I met Terry, and well, he really helped me understand."
"Understand what?" Eric tilted his head. "Why couldn't you come to one of us?"
"Because you guys wouldn't understand. None of you."
Something clicked in Robbie's head, a conversation he had had with Simon shortly after the teen had met Terry. No way. He couldn't be... Glancing over at Lucy, however, he had the feeling that his hunch was right, and that Lucy knew.
"So what is it you didn't understand?" Annie held her husband's hand. "You are Simon Camden."
"But that's just it, I wasn't Simon Camden. I was 'Virgin Camden' or 'The Minister's Son' and never JUST Simon. And because of those, I always did what everyone wanted me to do. Sure, I got an ear ring, and yeah, I'm not as perfect as Matt was."
Matt raised his eyebrows. "I wasn't perfect, Simon."
"But you were in the eyes of a lot of people, what you did and who you are. I kept trying to be like you. Get good grades, date lots of girls, be a good brother." He sighed, looking at his parents and gave them a weak smile. "I'm sorry, but I'm not the kid you think I am. I still try to be a good brother, and get good grades. I'm not Matt, though. And...and it's time I stopped trying to be like him." He took another deep breath.
"What's this got to do with Dax?" Mary ran a hand through her hair. "What did he help you understand?"
"That I'm still the same Simon, but I also have to be true to myself. Terry helped me understand that I don't have to follow what society says, that I should follow my heart." He looked at Lucy.
Simon, don't do it. Not without him. Lucy shook her head again, trying to discourage him. In her gut, though, she knew there was no stopping her brother.
"He helped me look at who I was, help me accept it."
"So who are you?" Ruthie looked at Simon, curious to finally learn the big secret.
"I'm Simon Camden. And...well...I like guys."
The room remained silent, all Camdens with their eyes on Simon.
"Could you say that again?" Eric asked, very slowly.
Simon felt his nervousness return again. I'm really glad the twins are in bed. "I'm gay, dad. And...I think I'm in love with Terry."
Matt felt a surge of anger, but suppressed it for now, glancing at his mother and father instead. He could feel the anger rise within them. They were going to go off. He tapped Mary's arm, then stood and nodded at Robbie.
Robbie got the message and nudged Ruthie, who remained silent for once and left. Mary hurried up the stairs, Ruthie at her heals, but Robbie and Matt met at the door, glancing back at Lucy, who had yet to move.
"Lucy, go with Matt." Annie kept her eyes on Simon, who shifted nervously from foot to foot.
Lucy stared at Simon a moment before slowly standing and going up.
Simon watched the rest of his siblings leave, Matt closing the door as they left. Now, he slowly faced his parents, the hard part.
~*()*~
"You knew, didn't you."
Robbie had cornered Lucy in Simon's room. He had closed and locked the door behind him.
Lucy nodded slowly, not meeting Robbie's face. "I...followed him and Terry one night, and saw them...kissing."
Robbie rubbed a hand over his face. "Geeze, just what we need." He sat next to Lucy. "Why didn't you tell somebody?"
"Because they asked me not to." Lucy looked at Robbie. "Terry gave me the chance to go off and tell the world. I chose to trust him. Simon, though, I couldn't do that to Simon. And I saw the way they looked at each other. I think they really is love between them."
"But the Bible-"
"There's more than one interpretation to the Bible, Robbie. Do you think this was easy for me to accept? I'm going to be a minister! I nearly throttled Terry when I saw them!" She calmed herself down. "This is Simon, Robbie. I won't abandon him, and I won't let him be thrown out of this family."
"I think that's up to your parents."
"I'm over eighteen. If I want to keep in contact with my brother, I will." Lucy frowned and looked at the door. "I shouldn't have left. He shouldn't have told them yet. Idiot. Terry told me we would tell you guys together. Simon needs support."
Robbie rubbed the back of his neck. "I should've figured it out."
"What do you mean?"
"His moods, how he hung out with Terry, Dax, whatever his name is." He looked at Lucy. "You know he asked me for advise about a 'gay' friend. I bet he really meant himself."
"He wanted to keep us all in the dark." She heard a thump down the hall. "Think we should check on Matt?"
"Not if we're smart."
"Who ever said we were. Simon's going to need all the support we can muster." She looked at Robbie. "Do you support his decision?"
Robbie thought for a moment, rubbing his chin. "It is disgusting to me. On the other hand," he glanced at the door, "Simon is Simon. He's the same as he's always been. We just...know the truth. If he keeps his business to himself, I think I'm okay with it."
Lucy nodded. "Now we just need to get the rest of the family on the bandwagon."
"That's going to be hard."
~*()*~
Matt glared the Hello Kitty doll. "The next time I see him, I'm gonna wring his scrawny little neck."
Mary was sitting on Robbie's bed. "You think you know someone..."
Ruthie looked between her two older siblings. She wasn't sure what to think. True, she didn't really like the thought of Simon being gay, but was Terry behind it, or was Simon truly gay, and if he was, then what?
"I can't believe he seduced Simon and made him think he was...was..."
"You can't even say it?" Ruthie raised an eyebrow.
"Because it's not true! He isn't gay! We went out cruising for girls not too long ago!"
"Maybe he's just going through the equivalent of what I did." Mary looked at Ruthie and Matt. "He's just doing it earlier."
"No," Matt shook his head. "No, this is that...that...Dax kid's fault. We keep him away from Simon and he'll be back to normal."
Ruthie thought about this a moment. "Wasn't he moody and such before he met Dax? What if this is how he would've turned out, we just found out sooner than normal."
"Because he's not gay! How many times do I have to say it?"
Mary looked out the window and saw a bolt of lightning strike the ground. Lord help us.
~*()*~
Of his family, only Happy had failed to escape. Simon had taken a seat across from his parents, and while they hadn't yelled at him yet, he could see the wheels in their minds turn as they processed what he had said and were debating on what to respond with. Glancing at his feet, Happy glanced back up. At least you haven't deserted me. He stroked the creature, trying to get some comfort. He felt as if a great burden had been lifted, but he also felt a new weight take its place.
"You are not gay."
"Dad, I know-"
"You're not gay!" Eric glared at his son. "You're not old enough to make that kind of decision, and that is one thing you will not be in this household!"
"Terry knew when he was seven. It's not a choice, dad. It's how we're born."
"You really believe that? I can't believe it. That-that-"
"Dax."
"He did this to you! As of this moment you're not to ever see him again!"
Simon felt something twist inside his chest. He looked to his mother, who was looking at the couch. "Mom..."
"Don't bring her into this! Isn't it enough you've upset her!"
Simon ignored his dad and kept staring at Annie. "Mom?"
"I can't believe this. Did you not here me? I said leave her alone!" Eric stood between his wife and his son. "Now get up to your room!" Eric pointed. "I can't believe you'd hurt the family this way! Didn't you learn anything from the Bible? From me?"
Simon stood. Hurt the family? How I hurt the family? Something snapped in him, just for a moment. "How I hurt the family, dad? How about how you're hurting me, huh? You always said you kept an open mind and would always support us in our choices! Where's that support, dad? Where's your open mindedness now? Do you think this is easy for me? Do you think I just woke up and said, 'hey, I'll be gay from now on?' NO! This has been really difficult!" He felt tears slide down his cheeks, but he didn't care. "I didn't want to tell you, but Terry said I should, because you're my family and you have a right to know and to trust in your love!" He heaved a bit. "Apparently you don't love me enough to accept the real me! All you want is Virgin Camden or the Minister's Son! I'm not him! And...and I'm not going to live a lie all my life because YOU'RE uncomfortable with the truth!"
"ROOM! NOW!" Eric stepped up to the blond youth, pointing towards the stares and looking into his eyes.
Simon met that look, glaring back with both pain and a fire. He calmed himself a bit, trying to collect his thoughts. His throat hurt a bit from yelling, but decided to try speaking softly. "God can accept who I am. If you're a man of God, why can't you?"
Eric's eyes widened, both in anger and surprise.
"GET OUT!"
Eric and Simon jumped at the shrill voice that emanated from the couch. Simon took a step towards the door, fear overtaking him as he took in his mother's face.
"No son of mine is gay, and until you realize that you're not, you're not part of this family! Now GET OUT!" Annie stormed towards Simon.
Simon decided not to wait another minute and hurried out of the room. He opened the front door and glanced at the storm outside. He thought about getting his jacket, but the raging woman glaring at him made him decide otherwise and he ran out.
~*()*~
Standing on the porch of Terry and Jordon's home was a shivering figure. His hair had been matted to his head, and his features were hidden by the darkness. A real man doesn't cry. But...I can't help it. I'm a man...and it cost me my family. Swallowing a sob, he pushed the small button by the door. Please, please understand me. I can't loose both tonight.
Terry looked up from the kitchen table as he heard the doorbell. Pulling off his headphones, he glanced at the clock. Who would be calling on us when it's nearly midnight? Frowning, he marked his place in Dune and went to the front door. He heard his brother coming down the hall, just as surprised. Glancing back, both brothers braced themselves as Terry opened the door.
Simon slowly looked up, tears streaming down his face. "I...I..."
Terry's eyes widened. He told.
Jordon was by Simon's side with a large towel and was wrapping him in it before Terry could ask for his help. He brought the teenage Camden in and led him towards the bathroom. "Let's get those clothes off of you. You need to get into something dry. A change of clothes or something. Terry, grab his bag."
"He doesn't have one." Terry was still staring out the door. He didn't even have to look, he knew what had happened just by the look in Simon's gray eyes.
Jordon snapped his fingers. "Yo! Ototou! Close the door and help me!"
Terry shook his head and shut the door, making sure to lock it, before heading over to the bathroom. Simon was still shivering, so Terry left a second to turn on the heater. Simon remained silent as both brothers removed the wet clothing and wrapped him in warm towels. Jordon left to get some extra sweats for the boy.
That's when Simon couldn't take it any more and began sobbing, clutching onto the nearest thing: Terry.
Terry brought his arms up and hugged Simon, guiding him to the floor as Simon's legs gave out. Petting Simon's hair, he rocked the boy he loved, making soothing noises with his throat.
Jordon paused when he saw them, and decided to leave the sweats outside the door, leaving the two alone.
Outside, the thunder cracked once again, letting the world know that it was far from over.
~*()*~
~*()*~
~*()*~
Aniki: older brother
Ototou: younger brother
The CD Terry was looking for DOES exist. It is known as "Evangelion: The Day of Second Impact." It's a collection of orchestral pieces with music from the Neon Genesis Evangelion series. The movie was Slayers: The Motion Picture. Not the most serious of movies, but a hoot to watch, and always great to cheer you up. Also, Dune is another great book to read. I would like to comment that I own none of them, nor do I own 7th Heaven (I do own Terry and Jordon though). I don't know when chapter ten will come out, but I hope to do it before I leave for my vacation.