A/N Wow... I never thought I'd get such nice reviews, thank you all so much! Ok, this is gonna be a weird chapter because I kinda know where I'm going with this, but can't quite get there yet and I'm trying to figure out what I want to happen first. In any case, I'm sorry if it seems a bit off. Ok, then, this is back to the third person narration but is still sort of in Draco's mind. And no flashback this time (they'll be coming back though, in all their saddening glory, lol). At least I don't have to worry about italics this time, it was driving me crazy. Again "*~" is for the song lyrics. "~~~~'" are scene separators. And I just realized I spelt Dumbledore wrong in the last chapter, I could of sworn I fixed that. There is also a line missing that I remember putting in. Stupid computer... Oops, I'm rambling, ok, just the replies to reviews first, then the story... Oh wait, I lied, one more thing, I'm really bad when it comes to choosing ratings so does everyone think the PG thing is working fine? Or should I change it to PG-13 for the abuse and language that might keep popping up? Does it even matter? As I said, I'm really bad at it, so it's up to you guys..... ok, now the replies...eek, there I go messing up again, two more things: This is set to Somewhere In Between by Lifehouse. And a disclaimer just to make sure: No, I don't own any of these people and, sadly, I never will. All I have is my dreams of Draco and you stupid lawyers are making me depressed by forcing me to say this, so on with the replies (really this time)...
Darcel: Unless my muse changes her mind at the last second, this is going in the "redeemed" Draco category. Hardly the road less traveled, I know, lol, but I really wanted to do a "nice" Draco story. I am slowly working on an "evil" Draco one though :)
MysticalWoodElf: You're too kind :) Hope this chapter lives up to expectations...
Cinnamon: Yay, I'm glad I'm not the only one to see that side to Hermione, kinda thought I was crazy for a moment :) I read your story and, as my review states, it is amazing!!! I'm updating, so I want you to too! :) Offering to hex me if I stop is one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about my stories and I'd like to take this opportunity to extend the threat to you for Struggle (go read it now everyone if you haven't).
Angelika: Like I said with Cinnamon, I'm glad others agree with my take on Hermione's character, it's nice to hear I'm not totally psycho :) Thank you sooo much for saying I do the portrayals well, I was kind of worried. As for Hr/D romance... you read my mind. I LOVE stories where they are together and I'm hoping this will work out in that direction. This chapter, actually, involves some Hr/D interaction as they discuss the scene in Snape's classroom. That's why I was a little concerned about this chapter, I didn't want it to seem rushed. But, the way I figure it, when Hermione, Ron and Harry talk about it, it's all "Yeah, Snape sucks" and etc... I think having Draco in the conversation could offer a new viewpoint and liven it up. At least, that's what I'm hoping will happen :)
Totaloser: Thank you very much for your kind review. As you've probably read, it will become Hermione/Draco, so I hope you like it :)
Ms. Padfoot: I have a sorta, kinda, milky, bit of a view where it's heading. Basically it's gonna be Draco rebelling against his father and trying to stay alive, maybe ending in the defeat of Voldemort? With some Hr/D mixed in b/c I love that couple. At first, it was supposed to just be the one chapter but I got a couple nice reviews asking to continue and since I was happy people liked it and had an idea, I kept going. Now, I just hope I can make the thoughts come out right. Anyway, regarding the final direction, it all depends on what the voices in my head say :)
~*I can't meet
Losing sleep over this*~
Draco didn't see "Granger" at all for the rest of the day. With her absent from the classes, participation was at a definite low. Her little buddies where there, though, scowls never leaving their faces. Not even when Goyle caught a misfired charm and spun around a moment before saying softly, "I'm a pretty boy" and passing out. Draco figured they were angry that their third member wasn't firmly attached to their hips, as per usual. More than likely, she was with Dumbledore, begging him to save her from evil Professor Snape. Potter still had the sharpness in his eyes that had appeared when Snape mentioned his father and Weasley looked ready to do something that would land him in Azkaban. Draco shook his head, redheads.
~*No I can't
And now I cannot stop pacing*~
Potions class had never, since the first day as Granger said, been pleasant for the Gryffindors, and especially unbearable for that particular trio. Draco admitted to himself, it was rather nice seeing the "golden" house getting taken down a few notches every class. Also, the anxiety-induced explosions were always fun. Sneaky little thoughts had been slithering their way into Draco's mind lately, however. Such as the fact that Snape shouldn't be so hard on Longbottom. The Slytherin knew what had happened to the boy's parents, heard his father's sickening laughter over it. Now the poor kid had to live with his demonic grandmother and everyday have the knowledge that his own parents didn't know him. While that would come as a blessing to Draco at this point, he couldn't imagine that Longbottom liked it very much. Another thought was Snape's continuing ridicule of James Potter. The guy was dead, for heaven's sake, and couldn't even defend himself. And there's Potter, sitting there with the scar from his parent's murderer and having the professor reminding him all the time of what he had lost. Then there was Granger. Snape never, ever called on her, even if hers was the only arm waving. Draco wondering why she didn't just give up and thought it must be out of pure stubbornness. He couldn't help remembering that time last year (?) when her teeth had become enlarged and Snape cruelly said he saw no difference. That was just a little beyond necessary. Why couldn't the Potions master just be a little nicer....
~*Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out*~
"Oh my god", Draco muttered to himself as he realized what he had just thought. He proceeded to curse himself as it occurred to him that since potions the three friends had dominated his mind.
~*If my mind would just stop racing*~
He couldn't remember his last few classes, excepting the Goyle incident, as the whole time he'd been wondering what the trio was doing, how they were dealing with Hermione's outburst. That, he could rationalize, after all, maybe they would get some horrible detentions that would amuse him. But what followed, lamenting Snape's treatment of them and Neville, that was too much. What would Harry and Ron do had they known their least favorite peer had been secretly analyzing them throughout the afternoon? They'd probably react worse than he himself did.
~*Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening*~
An extra harsh word escaped when he saw that he had referred to each of them in the first person. He tried to drill the correct labels into his head: Granger, not Hermoine; Longbottom, not Neville; Potter, definitely not Harry; Weasley, not Ron. They were mere Gryffindors that he needed to step over. First names gave them identities, made them people and that was not acceptable.
~*This is over my head
But underneath my feet*~
Draco propped himself up against a cold stone wall and lightly hit his head against it in an effort to concentrate. Change was harder to accomplish than he had thought. Before it had been easy, black and white, he was "evil", no good lurked anywhere in the son of Lucius Malfoy. Or so everyone, including Draco, had believed.
~*Cause by tomorrow morning I'll
have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was*~
Now, though, Draco needed a new place to stand. He didn't want to kill people, didn't want to torture, didn't want to be a deatheater. He established that.
~*I wish that it was just that easy*~
But, what comes then?
~*Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow*~
He also didn't want to go running into the Wonderful World of Harry Potter and become Mr. Kind and Considerate.
~*I'm somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream*~
He had his own dark side, nothing drastic or harmful, but it was part of him and he wished to keep it. So he had to find some sort of gray area. Somewhere between his father and Potter. Somewhere with enough space to breathe. He hit his head again softly on the wall, this wasn't going to be easy...
~*What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
With his annoying, newly discovered conscience running amuck, Draco needed something to engulf himself in. He remembered an extra long potions essay due in a couple of days and decided to focus on it, so he headed towards the library. It wasn't just being Lucius Malfoy's son that got him the grades he did, the boy happened to be very intelligent. He knew that everyone thought everything of his came from the fear of his father, but ignored it. Draco Malfoy didn't need acceptance from anyone.
~*Would you catch me if I fall
out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again*~
"Wouldn't be too sure of that ", muttered a voice in the back of his head.
This caused the blonde boy to once again stop and lean against the wall, "Shut up", he growled to himself, then shook his head. Great, he was talking to himself again.
"Not like you have anyone else to talk to", said the same voice, a bit louder.
~*I don't want to run away from
this
I know that I just don't need this*~
He opened his mouth, ready to argue with himself again, when he realized the stupid little voice was entirely correct. Who'd he have? Talking to his father got him scars, his mother had lost her voice long ago, and none of his minions counted as confidants. Professor Snape came to mind. Sometimes, Draco caught him watching with a concerned air. Maybe he knew...?
~*Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening*~
But Snape was a deatheater as well, confiding in him would be no better than his father. He knew this, and yet... something nagged at Draco. The fact that his head of house had always been very kind to him. It was as if Snape wanted Draco to tell him something. He shook his head again, he was obviously over analyzing things in an effort to have a... a what? A friend?
~*Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between*~
"Told you so", taunted the voice.
The Slytherin was too engrossed in the thought too answer himself. Was that what he wanted?
~*What is real
Just a dream*~
Vowing to further explore the possibilities of Snape as an ally later, the teenager filed away his musings. Straightening up, he continued on his way to the library. During that time, the neutral mask reclaimed his face. The Draco Malfoy that entered the library had become, once again, the ice king that everyone knew and...
"And nothing more", drawled the voice, sounding suspiciously more like his own.
~*What is real
Just a dream
What is real
Just a dream
What is real just a dream*~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'
A/N: Ok, yes, I realize there was no Hermione in that chapter. There was supposed to be, but... I don't know, this is how the chapter came out. She will definitely be in the next one, though. Also, I was wondering, how would you guys feel about Draco turning to self-mutilation? I'm not sure because I don't know if I want to keep his self-abuse mental or let it leak into the physical as well. Either way, I have ideas where to go, so it's really up to you. If it goes to mutilation, he won't be cutting himself, if that influences your decision at all. I was leaning towards having him burn himself and play on the whole dragon and fire thing. Anyway, I'm rambling again, so it's up to you guys so review away :)