Out of Place

Disclaimer: I don't own any character of ER blah blah you know the drill.
Summary: Neela doesn't know what she wants or where she's going. Now she needs to figure it out.
Author's notes: This takes place around season 10, before 'the Student'. No specifics yet.
Feedback appreciated, as always!

So many things she wanted to do. From what she'd wished for on her seventh birthday to her desire for running away last night. No matter where she was, a part of her had always wanted to be somewhere else, doing something else.
Walking down her street in Chicago on this May evening, somewhere else was exactly where she wanted to be, and she didn't know why. Everything was flowing smoothly at the moment. Work, friendship, even romance seemed to be going her way, but she wasn't quite satisfied. Something was missing, something she couldn't quite put her finger on, and it did hurt.
Nobody knowing Neela could imagine she was hurting though. She wasn't the kind of person that would dwell on things. She went to work, did what she could, and went home, somehow being a good friend through it all. She didn't waste her time thinking about things she knew that she couldn't change anyway. At least that's what she wanted people to believe.
Days like this, when everything seemed to bring her down, she needed an outlet. And if she couldn't find one at work or among her friends in Chicago, she couldn't think of anything to do but writing.

Dear Priya,
It's Neela! I bet you didn't expect hearing from me today, did you? I feel kind of guilty about not writing half as often as I should be, but this bloody "County Experience" takes up all of my time, and not to mention all of my energy. I'm usually drained when I get home. This is not an excuse though. Merely an explanation.
How are things back in England? Sometimes I miss it so much you know... Chicago doesn't exactly qualify as my home. Of course, England doesn't either. I bet you can hear the frustration through these words all the way from Chicago. But don't worry; I'm going on another "I don't belong anywhere" rant. I'm over those.
I'm on another ER rotation at the moment. I wouldn't exactly call it 'fun', but it is interesting. And it definitely keeps me busy. All work and no play, right? Can you even remember the years that were all about playing? I'm not sure I can anymore. It's been eight years only since we started University. In one way, it feels like yesterday. In another, it's been several lifetimes. Sometimes it feels like it's all been useless. It never ends! You know?
Oh lucky me, I get to sit down and read through three chapters of 'the dreaded books' now. Brilliant. Bloody brilliant.
Sorry about such a lame letter. I'm just really tired. I'll call you later this week.

Love,
Neela

She put the short letter in an envelope and sealed it. Not feeling like going outside again that night, she decided to post it first thing in the morning. She did feel a little guilty about not writing her best friend more often, but she knew that Priya would understand. They'd gone to school together back in London, and then to University in America, until Priya decided to move back to England, to her boyfriend, so they went way back. Neela smiled slightly, thinking about that time. Her parents had been convinced that when Priya came back, Neela would be going back too, but that didn't happen. It wasn't like she had someone to marry anyway.
As she started preparing dinner, she realized how much better it made her feel just to know that her best friend would be reading her words in a few days. If only she'd have a friend that she trusted like that here in Chicago... She needed to figure out what was 'wrong with her' that she couldn't be happy and content. And she didn't think she could do it on her own.
"Bloody hell" shestated as she realized that the milk was out-of-date.