A/N Ok, we're back to the main people ::cheer::.  Thank god, those dark chapters were really getting me down.  Now, Snape has his breakdown, Dumbledore is informed, I don't know, this chapter isn't as thought out as the others were.  Hope it turns out ok.  It starts off the day after the incident with Draco, beginning in Snape's POV in the morning.  The song is "Wasted" by Stabbing Westward and it'll only be in Snape's parts because it doesn't apply to Dumbledore at all.  However, I think it's the perfect song for Snape :)

Ms. Padfoot: Thank you!! Oh, I am so with you, think they make oversized, extra hard bludger bats made especially for twisted bastards?  Eventually, Lucius will be dealt with and damn, I'm gonna love writing that.  Expect much suffering on his part.  I'm not sure when it'll be, though, probably not till the end.  Btw, I made a typo in my reply email, I meant to thank you for the review for chapter 6, not 7.  Major occurrence, right?  I'm just anal retentive sometimes, sorry lol. 

Sapphire Wolf:  Thank you very much!  This chapter is basically a bunch of character's thoughts, I hope you like it :)

Cinnamon: lol, hi!! Thanks for reviewing!  Haha, I know, my replies do seem to be getting longer and longer.. I told you I talk too much! :)  I'm very happy you liked it.  I agree that Narcissa's thoughts were important and, eventually, she'll play a bigger role.  I felt so bad for her while writing it, she's so trapped and blames herself for it all.  I wouldn't have survived it either, she's much stronger than me.  I'd eventually just wither away, but she has to be strong for Draco, the only light in her life :) To be truthful, before I started this, I liked angst but it wasn't my fave or anything... now, after getting into it, I love it!  Haha, I don't know what's up with all the fast updates, but I've been typing for hours everyday.  This one will probably take longer since I'd been thinking about the others for a while.  Our stories do have a lot of similarities, which makes it even better, because they show two different ways a character can go :) Your chapter is soooo good!!!! Poor Draco, stupid Lucius.  ::shiver:: that extra scene in the movie convinced me that Lucius really is a monster.  Draco looked extra hott in it though.. :sigh:  My poor broken dragon.  Disney movies are cruel, stupid animal haters, killing them all off, lol.  Oh god, I'll be crying in the first 10 minutes of the 4th movie, knowing what's going to eventually happen.. I believe I'll be a mess, lol.  'Tsk 'Tsk, your teacher should allow all essays to be HP related :p Hehe, you know what's even more funny?  The teacher I had in mind is a math teacher and probably knows more about HP than my English teacher (who's a giant LOTR fan and rather resembles a hobbit (j/k in case this somehow comes up someday as incriminating evidence)).  Some of my teachers have feminist qualities and I'm rather outspoken too, but at my school, you have to be.  There's an unnatural abundance of sexist guys there for some odd reason.  I think I might take Divination for a little bit just to annoy her, oh the pranks that could be played  ::evil grin::  I like McGonnagal, I just meant I'd love her to the sky if she did something like that, lol :) "wonderful chappie"?  ::head swells:: lol, thanks.  Yes, go now and write another chapter, I'm going into withdrawal!

Mic:  Thank you!!  Lucius' mind is an odd place, isn't it?  Quite frightening, but never boring, lol.  I'm glad you liked Narcissa's chapter as well.  It was weird to write, going so deep into a life like that.  I feel very bad for her and Draco too and I'm the author, lol.  Lucius is scum, but I can just see his perfect torture: being in a green meadow full of flowers, angels everywhere, and everyone being kind and dun dun dun... he'd be a muggle!!!! :)

Angelika:  Thank you for reviewing!  Aww, you're so nice, I'm very happy you liked them.  They were extremely gloomy, weren't they?  It wasn't easy to write.  Ah, yes, another hater of Lucius!  He truly is lower than dirt.  Handsome?  I don't see it.  Even if he was Brad Pitt..ugh, I want him to disappear.  That thing about your friend and Osama is scary.  I never understood girls who love men despite how evil they are.  I suppose that's where most abusive relationships come from?  Lucius is incapable of being redeemed, in my mind, so just expect eventual pain for him... lots and lots of it.  All of his money and "pure blood" won't save him then ::evil grin:: oh, that's going to be so great!  ::Shudder:: I can't imagine loving Lucius so cannot understand what your friends are thinking.  Killing would be too good for him, I agree, and an especially dark side of this author will be shown in the chapter where Lucius gets his.  I'm not very familiar with Tolkien, but if you think that's what he deserves, I'm sure he'd suffer very much, so I heartily agree :)  Please don't be sorry, I love all reviews and really did enjoy yours.  How could a review not be dark after such chapters?  Luckily, this one will be lighter to give me (and you guys) some time to regroup :)

~~~~Snape's POV~~~~

It's time for me to get up, get dressed, go eat breakfast and teach that annoying 6th year class.  Draco's class.

I haven't slept at all yet, not sure if I've blinked either.  If I close them, I'll see him barreling towards the earth, see what would've happen if I'd come a moment later.  Damn it all, why did I have to find him?  Why not Minerva? Dumbledore?  Anyone in the world but me.  The boy needs someone strong now, someone to keep him together while still comforting.  I can't even take care of myself. 

~*I've spent
My life
Running from the emptiness*~

And it will be me taking care of this.  It will be because I'm the one who saw it, I'm the one he told all those things to.  I have a responsibility to him now.  Dammit. 

~*That haunts me*~

"Who says Draco's the only one who will benefit from this?"

Oh, so you're back now?

"You're not as upset about this as you think, admit it."

Sure, can't come when I'm asking questions but are totally free to annoy me.  Figures.  I suppose Draco is the one I'm supposed help "let go"?

"You've been hiding too long, this will be good for you.  Trust in it."

Will you stop talking in bloody riddles, never actually answering a question!!  Hello?  Annoying buzzing in my mind?  Of course, just leave me confused again, heaven forbid I actually know what's going on in my own life...

I stop myself as I realize I am ranting to myself about myself.  I'm losing it... hell, it's lost.  I need to talk to Albus, he must be made aware of the situation, anyway.

I hurry to his office since I have that class right after breakfast and can't talk to him then.  The breakfast table is out of the question, attempted suicide isn't exactly something one spreads all around.  Attempted suicide.  Such a simple way to explain something that changes so much. 

~*And I've felt
My whole life*~

"Just be happy it was only attempted", I say to myself, and it's true.  It could've been much worse... but why'd it have to happen at all?  Lucius.  The name blares in my mind.  He's just not father material, his own ignored him.  If only Lucius just ignored Draco.  That would create other issues, of course, but it would have to be better than what I am now convinced Lucius does to him.  He did love learning about the Unforgivables in school.

People have called me insensitive, cruel...evil.  Maybe I am. 

~*Trying to fuck
The loneliness away*~

But if I'm evil, what's my former friend?  I'm not even sure there's anything inside of him anymore.  At first, it was a game, join the Dark Lord, play around with muggles.  Even then, I remember, he was particularly sadistic during attacks.  But Lucius soon found how delicious power is... how much fun it is to play God. 

~*And I die
Inside*~

I've tried asking myself why, not only why he does it, but any of them.  Voldemort's not even worth thinking about.  I did it...I did it because what else was I going to do?  I had virtually no friends, nothing interested me but potions and my father was breathing down my neck for me to make something of myself.  He was friends with deatheaters, not a very nice person, but he never joined himself.  He was too afraid, knowing how tough Voldemort was with his followers.  When I joined, he became even darker, angry that I had the 'courage' to enlist and he didn't.  Needless to say, we aren't close.  That was one of the things Lucius and I had in common.  Maybe that was his reason?  Perhaps he wanted his father, a deatheater, to sit up and take notice of him.  But would the desire to prove himself take him so far? 

These thoughts make my head ache.  Who can say why someone falls?  Only Lucius truly knows... if even him.  Well, regardless of his reasons, Draco will not follow.  I don't know how, but he won't...

"Cinnamon Stix", the gargoyle begins to turn and soon I'm staring at the door to Albus' office.  What am I going to say?  I pause in my reach for the doorknob as I consider that.  "Oh, it's nothing really, Albus, just that Draco tried to kill himself last night, have a nice morning".  Damn.

~*When I think of all the people
I have damaged*~

~~~~~Dumbledore's POV~~~~~~~~~~

I hear footsteps outside the door, someone is thinking very hard about coming in here.  It's not a student sent up here for misbehavior, they always shuffle their feet as they hesitate.  A teacher then... but who? 

"What do you think, Faux?  Who is it?"  The phoenix does the bird equivalent of a shrug and stares at the door, as curious as I am.

Finally, I see the knob turn and the person slowly enters, "Good morning Severus", he doesn't look good, I wonder what has happened.  Why do I have a feeling it concerns a certain Slytherin?

"Hello Albus", he begins to pace.  Never was good at staying still.  I wait for him to tell me what's on his mind.  And wait some more... oh well, I needed to replace that carpet anyway.  Faux has become dizzy from watching the man go back and forth, back and forth, back and... maybe I will need to initiate this...

"Is there something you would like to tell me?"

Severus jumps, as if startled by the fact that I am here.  After a moment he nods and , thank Merlin, sits down in a chair in front of my desk.  After intently studying his hands, he finally looks up, "There was an incident last night...", his voice trails.

"Mr. Malfoy, by any chance?" I prompt.

"How-, never mind, yes it has to do with Draco", his tone has become rather strained, "On a late night walk, I discovered him flying around the pitch in the dark".  He stops, but somehow I don't think that is what he is so anxious about.  Again, I wait.  Just as I am about to make some comment, his mouth reopens, "He flew very high up in the air and proceeded to race down at an alarming rate.  At first, I thought it was just the Wronski Feint, but his face... He wasn't going to pull up, Albus."

My eyes widen slightly, although I try to conceal my alarm.  I know the boy has been going through some very tough times, especially having that maniac deatheater as a father, but I had no idea it had come to this.  I clear my throat, "What did you do?"

"I amplified my voice and yelled for him to stop, in his surprise he actually listened.  After he realized I knew what he was attempting, he told me I should've let him, that no one would give a damn anyway", Severus' voice is becoming harsher as he talks, "He said his father would only be upset because it would sully the Malfoy name and you know what?  He was right.  The boy is bloody right".  His hands are gripped tightly in his lap, knuckles white.

"Severus", I say softly, "just be glad you got to him in time".

"I tried telling myself that, but I shouldn't have found him", now the tone is deadened and his head is lowered, "Even that werewolf would be better comfort than I, you know that Albus."

"I know no such thing.  You, of all people, will be able to reach Draco the most.  You made it through, Severus and so can he", his eyes lift to meet my hard stare.  Poor Severus... Draco isn't the first to make such an effort...

~~~~Back to Snape's POV (ahh, sorry again for all the switching)~~~~~

~*And I'm tired
I'm so tired*~

Why is he so sure I'm the person for this?  Isn't the fact I tried to end my life also show how incapable I truly am?  He found me then, that was when I became a spy.....

~~~~~~~~~~~I had always enjoyed potions, was the best in my class.  I could brew things the teacher had trouble with.  It was the only time I felt strong, felt that I could do things right.  Combined with my knowledge of the dark arts, my skills enabled me to make the mixture that would kill me. 

~*And there's no one else
Except myself to blame
My life's been wasted
Everything is gone*~

I became a deatheater in my fifth year.  Suddenly, it didn't matter that those blasted Marauders tortured me, or that my father was a cold prick; I had the Dark Lord on my side.  Merlin, I was arrogant, became haughtier than ever.  I had power over people's lives... it was amazing.

However, as time went by, and more blood spilled, the glamour of it all wore off.  Little by little I stopped seeing myself as the brave and cunning deatheater.  Instead, I saw the truth, I was a ruthless coward, murdering in the dark of the night.  I started hearing the screams of the victims in my sleep, seeing their faces in my mind, mouths open in a cry.  The haze of being favored by Voldemort receded, replaced by the knowledge that I had ended and destroyed lives. 

~*My life's been wasted
And I am all alone
My life's been wasted
There is no one else*~

The last straw happened in my 7th year.  Voldemort had sent us to a muggle home for some "fun".  There was a man, his wife, and their little girl.  She could've only been six.  I hung back a little, rationalizing that as long as I didn't do anything, none of it was my fault.  They didn't scream like the others, spent most of the time trying to calm their daughter.  We laughed at them. 

~*My life's been wasted
It's time I face myself*~

One of us, he's dead now, put the Cruciatus on both parents.  I tried to turn away, but my eyes remained locked on the two people writhing on the floor, biting their lips, not wanted to shriek, not wanting to scare their child.  Of course, the cries came eventually, they always do.  The little girl, she began to sob and pushed herself up against the wall.  Lucius grabbed her and forced her to look at her mother and father as blood poured from them.  Even now, I remember every word he said...

"Don't look away, watch, child.  Isn't it too bad you can't save mummy and daddy?  They were trying to protect you, maybe if it wasn't for you, we wouldn't do this to them".

The bastard actually said this to a six-year-old kid, I had to grip my wand tightly to restrain from using it on him.

~*I've spent
My life
Trapped inside
A cycle of self destruction*~

At his words, she began to cry harder and shouted, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" until, finally, they didn't move anymore.  Lucius set her down and I saw the evil pleasure in his eyes, he was about to do the same to her.  She was so little, so undeserving. 

~*And I've spent
My whole life
Trying to numb*~

I don't quite know what overtook me, but I conjured a bright light in the distance and hollered, "Aurors!" before secretly setting the surrounding area on fire.  Everything went chaotic, long robed creatures running everywhere.  Lucius ran too, for all his bravery he had no intention of going to Azkaban, and forgot about the child.  In the confusion, I grabbed her and apparated away to a muggle orphanage.  When we got there, she looked at me, very lost and whispered, "I didn't mean to kill them". 

~*The pain inside my soul
And furious*~

As much for her own sanity as the need to protect wizard concealment, I cast a memory charm on her.  I knocked loudly on the door and, when I heard sounds of someone coming, disappeared.

When I reported back that night, I lied that I'd merely gotten jostled around in the excitement and casually mentioned that I thought I'd seen the little girl fall into the fire.  No one really cared very much about the family since it'd been for amusement purposes, so no questions were asked.

~*I cry
When I realized
I fought this war with no one*~

"I didn't mean to kill them", the soft apology haunted me that night when I snuck back into Hogwarts.  I hadn't put the curse on her parents, but I didn't stop it either.  I was part of the reason she was an orphan, to blame for her observing their deaths.  It was then I realized just how much of a monster I was.  Monsters don't deserve to live, so I took out a vial of the poison I'd idly made one dark day.

~*I'm tired
I'm so fucking tired*~

 I went to the girl's bathroom no one ventures into because of some annoying ghost.  For a long time, I just stared at my reflection, trying to see any sort of person at all there.  Half of me wished I really was a vampire as everyone said so I wouldn't have to deal with seeing my worthless self.  After long moments of seeing nothing, I grabbed the vial.  Just at that moment, Dumbledore walked in...~~~~~~~~

~*Gotta find a way
To keep myself alive*~

...To this day, I'm not sure how he knew.  In any case, I told him everything, fully expecting to be carted off to Azkaban.  Instead, the headmaster offered me a chance to redeem myself: become a spy.  I knew, and know, that it can't change what I did, but it's better than nothing.

But I'm not Albus.  I don't have twinkling eyes and a kind voice.  I'm not generous and understanding... I don't have the power to fix a spirit as broken as Draco's.

~*When I reach the end
Will anything I've done
Mean anything?*~

"Just because you don't believe in yourself, that doesn't mean it's not there".

Great, you again, exactly what I need.  Go away, I've enough problems right now.  The memory of my last year at Hogwarts does nothing to help my ever-growing state of anxiety.  I feel weaker and more vulnerable  than I have in so long.  Damn Drano, damn Locus for causing it, damn me for not being sound enough for this.  Something that feels suspiciously like tears form in my eyes, impossible, I don't cry.  They don't seem to know that, though.  Albus' endlessly dancing eyes lock onto mine and I bleakly ask, "What am I supposed to do?"

~*Will anything I've done mean anything?*~

A/N Damn, this took forever.  Major writers block moment.  Ah, well, I hoped you all like it.  I think it was okay.  I meant to get to more, but I think this is a good place to stop at.  I know I promised more Draco this chapter (sorry!) but he'll be in the next one, really this time :)  Also, at the moment, I don't really remember the details of Sev's deatheater experience, or if it was even ever explained.  In any case, I'm modifying it to fit my purposes, so I hope no one minds :)