A/N ::hangs head in shame:: I swear Voldie went off and stole my muse!  That's the only explanation for my horrible updating progress.  Ah, well even if it wasn't quicker, this is longer.  And guess what?  We get into Hermione's mind! ::cheer::  I hope you all agree with how I write her.  I warn you, my Hermione may be a bit..umm, 'bitchier' lol, than in the books.  This is because anyone who deals with Draco needs to be able to hold their own and I really think she can.  As I said when apologizing for the outburst chapter, I think it's somewhere in her and there have been a few times in the books when she shows that.  Also, a warning: POV switching, I find I quite like it :) Ah, it was so hard to find a song for this chapter!! I wanted to scream!  But finally decided on "Unwell" by Matchbox 20.  Sorry if it doesn't really fit in right.  Okay, you all probably want to get to the chapter now... :) (but replies first!!)

Ms. Padfoot: Thank you for reviewing!!  Excellent job on BYM, by the way, just wanted to say that before anything else.  I hope you like this lengthier (is that a word?) chapter.  I find it amazing when people like my story so thank you very much for your kind words.  I'm always worried about portraying the characters wrong, it's a great relief to hear people agree with me.  I'm not sure Rowling feels the same either, but we all know the truth, right? :)  Now that Hermione is being involved more, I'm hoping the ideas will flow again.  Eventually I'll get to a training session and I already have thoughts for it, even if they make me shudder.  Anyway, enjoy and thank you again :)

Mic: Thank you for reviewing! :D  You have no idea how happy it makes me that you like the songs, putting them in is one of my favorite parts :)

Cinnamon: Hi!!  How dare you mention Alice!!!  I'm gonna have nightmares now.. that stupid rabbit's going to be chasing me with a clown and the only place to run will be a room where Lucius is torturing Draco and there's nothing I can do and I'll have to watch and ahhh, see what you've done? lol, my imagination's too big.  Yes, my voices do say that to me a lot, annoying little brats.  Eek, if they ran the world, I think it'd be worse than a Star Wars one ::shiver:: the horror.  Ah, not Draco, he must never know about the bunny ears!!  My wonderful stories?  Hehe, not sure about the wonderful part ;p  Like I said, take your time, with exams coming my stories should fall to the bottom of the priority list (no matter how very anxious I am to read the replies lol).  I believe Draco could never be bad too, but my muse thinks otherwise :(  Hehe, now you know The Secret, you must tell me the rest yours!! Please!!!  What if I die?  Then I can't write my stories anymore :-\  What do you mean, just you?  You are a very important person, lol, through both emails and reviews :p  lol, years?  Hell, if I'd known that I never would've told you :p  I have the next couple of chapters of the EVIL story and future chapters for another one, the Trista story is taking a little longer, I have to decide what I want you to do.  lol, yes it is fun, I'm sure most think we're pyscho...well, we are aren't we?  I want a yellow arm band! lol... I think everyone (especially our dear Draco) would be a lot happier if Lucius just needed an arm band.  Imagine him in yellow, muahaha.  I agree, Draco should definitely be Sevvy's instead of Lucius.  They can be a happy family and Lucius can go have hot knives poked in him... oohh, I volunteer to do it!! hehe.  No need to apologize, sappiness was what I was going for lol.  Albus' voice is probably awesome, I wanna meet it!  Probably better than ours ::glares in mirror cuz, ya know, the voices are in me:: yeah, way too much sugar for Meg today lol.  You're sane?  Really?  How?  Does that mean I am too? :p  Yup, I'm afriad Dray can go home, will be going actually in future chapters.  I know, Albus isn't being the most clear eyed, is he? Just like when he put Harry with the Dursley's.  Maybe he sees something no one else can, maybe the sessions will do something...besides make me sob as I write them, lol.  Don't worry, I know you're talking to Dumbledore :)  In fact, although this might make me seem even crazier, I was saying things along those lines to him as I wrote it ;)  Oh yes, the Marauder Girls will triumph! :-D  Just how often do they look at you like that?  I'm guessing pretty often :p lol.   ::dreamy sigh:: yes, Draco is unique in exactly the right way.  It must be tough to know your own father doesn't care... I wanna make him feel better!!  I don't know how he's going to live, haven't figured that out yet, lol, but I know that Sevvy dear will help.  If he can do it, so can Draco :)  Lucius must be destroyed!! yay!  Yeah, I know, really short chapter, but this one is longer :)  okay, so it took forever but...umm...but... there's Hermione!  That makes up for it, right? ::innocent look::  I'm glad you found meaning the chapter, I wasn't too sure if I made it full enough to actually be worth something.  Sev and Draco bond more in this chapter  ::cheer::  Thank you for saying I'm brillant (even if I'm not sure lol).  This story is pretty depressing...so is yours!!  Must I mention The Position?? .... lol, I consider that review an epic tale considering the amount of story you had you work with.  I bow down before the Review Goddess :p  long review ::happy dance::  isn't it fun to be "in the know"?  Just like how I feel with Struggle, lol, it makes me feel special :)  Speaking of which, I'm going into withdrawral here for your next chapter!! :p  Wow, look at the length of this reply... I really do talk too much :)  Read you soon (literally because I'm going to answer your email when I'm done with this) :)

Darcel: Thank you for reviewing!! :)  Glad you liked the last chapter, this one was fun to write (no matter how long it took lol), hope you like it :)

Katja: Thank you for reviewing!! Yay, a new reader :)  Your review was so kind, thank you sooo much!  It's hard to believe someone could like my story so much (damn self doubt lol) so reviews like yours are like candy to me :)  I love Draco fics too (obviously hehe), the slash ones do seem to be becoming more numerous.  I can't really read them, nothing against that sort of thing, but I guess I just can't get into them.  Anyway, thank you again very much and I hope you like this next chapter (sorry it took so long :) ).

~~Hermoine's POV~~

~*All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall*~

"Isn't it time for your detention with Snape?"

I glare at Ron who's issued the reminder before glancing at the clock to see he's right.  Great.

"Hey, I just don't want you in more trouble with him", he gets a look of bliss, "I still can't believe you told him off like that."

~*All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep*~

Of course he can't, after all, I'm perfect Hermione.  Perfect people never explode.  I shake my head at the thoughts, when did I get so bitter?  No, I'm not bitter, just... a little tired of the image, I suppose.  I watch as Harry sneaks up behind Ron with some exploding snap... oh well, someone has to keep these two in line.

I laugh at them wrestling on the carpet as I pass by, "See you later guys, do try not to kill each other".  A few grunts are my answer while they come dangerously close to knocking over a small table.  Boys.

~*Because tomorrow might be good for something*~

Hmm, I wonder what Snape will have me do for detention... clean out cauldrons?  Organize potions?  Maybe he'll just stand there and yell the whole time.  This time I'll stay quiet, I'm not dumb.  In fact, I'm not very sure why I blew up in the first place.  It just made me so angry that he could say all those horrible things and we just had to take it.  The words flew out before I even realized what I was doing.  When it sunk in that I'd called the most hated teacher a "heartless jerk", I thought I would hyperventilate.  I didn't say sorry, though, just kept going....and going... right out the door.

And my friends followed.  They didn't have to, probably shouldn't have, but it meant so much that they did.  It's suprising Snape didn't try to get them too.. I suspect Dumbledore had something to do with that.  I did talk to him, but not to get out of anything like Malfoy thought. 

Malfoy... Draco.  The Prince of Slytherin.  He didn't look like a prince yesterday when he practically fell into the room.  He seemed... human.  Odd.  It was over quickly, though, I could practically see him rebuilding his walls.  And to think I was actually worried about him at first.  Hah, as if he is worth it. 

~*Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown*~

Then why does his tortured face still reside in my mind?  Why can't I forget how he looked during the attack?  I never thought a Malfoy could look so broken.  What had caused that?  I heard through people laughing later on that some 4th years had apparently watched him walk into a bookcase.  Then, he evidently screamed at himself.  That would explain the noises I'd heard right before he came in.  But, would a couple embarrasing moments cause him to collapse?

~*And I don't know why*~

His reaction to being compared to Lucius was the most confusing at all.  The Malfoy I know should've done the "I never show feelings" equivilant of jumping for joy.  Instead, it was as if I had told him he and Harry were secretly brothers.  And, somehow, his insults didn't ring as true as usual.  They seemed to be more of a defensive measure.  Nonetheless, they pissed me off and I gave up trying to get through to that idiot. 

~*But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell*~

Draco.  I called him Draco.  How did that happen?  One moment I'm planning a sizzeling retort and the next I'm issuing a soft statement, not to Malfoy... but to Draco. 

~*But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see*~

"Dammit", I swear softly as I reach Snape's room.  Why is it still annoying me?!  First my explosion, then Dra- Malfoy's, and now me actually worryng about him!  Life is getting even weirder than usual....

~*A different side of me*~

~~Draco's POV~~

I made sure to get to my detention ahead of time.  Considering his mood when he gave it, I didn't think it would be prudent to push Snape much further.  So now I'm sitting on a stool in silence as we wait.  For what, I have not a clue, but he's staring at the door as if expecting someone else.  Who could it be....

~*I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care*~

Shit.  "A week of detention with me", Snape's angry yell runs through my mind.  No, merlin no, I've got to be wrong.  There's no way I can be sharing detention with...

~*But soon enough you're gonna think of me*~

"Granger", I mutter her name as she walks in.  At least she looks just as surprised...and disgusted.

~*And how I used to be...me*~

~~Hermione again~~

You've got to be freaking kidding me.  The object of my thoughts stares at me in shock and horror...mostly horror.  I'm sure I mirror the expression.  What the hell is Snape's favorite doing here?  The man's quicker to give points to him for breaking rules, never mind actually punishing him.  Yet another question.  Damn me for being so curious.

~*I'm talking to myself in public*~

"Malfoy", my vocal chords finally regain strength, "I assume you'll be leaving now?" Please, please, please...

"Afraid not", Draco looks like he's sinking into dispair.  Good.

"How long?" The question is just above a whisper.

"One week", he replies grimly, nodding as I shake my head at him.

~*Dodging glances on the train*~

Wonderful, bloody fantastic.  Not only will I be stuck with my least favorite professor, but also the boy who's tortured my friends and I since 1st year.  I have a sudden urge to curl up and rock back and forth but that'll have to wait until I'm back in my room.  Hopefully, Lavender will be asleep and not notice.

"If you two are done, maybe we could actually get to the detention.  That is, if you don't mind too much".

Severus Snape: sarcasm king.  I'm sure his parents are so proud.  Absentmindedly I wonder why they didn't just drown him at birth... as I realize what I'm thinking, I can feel my eyes widen.  What is wrong with me?  This is not a good mood to be facing these two in, who knows what I'll say?  Unreasonably, instead of hoping to control my mouth, I somewhat anticipate a chance to tell the Dragon and his keeper off.  Merlin help me...

~~3rd person (last one for this chapter, I promise!!)~~

Severus, not for the first time, wondered if he should separate the two.  Their actions so far did not bode well and he didn't want his classroom ruined.  "You better be right, Albus", he warned in his mind before speaking to them again, "You will wash the empty potions flasks, be careful, and, when you're done, start on the cauldrons.  Whatever you don't finish can be carried on to tomorrow along with what I assign then.  If anything in here is broken, or damaged in any way, you'll both be praying for Filch, understood?"  At their nods, he left the room.  He planned on keeping Draco afterwards to discuss the past...er...events.  With a deep breath, he once again prayed that he'd still have a place to teach when he returned.

The two students continued to stare at one another after their teacher left.  Both quickly came to the decision that fate bloody well hated them.  Hermione, determinedly making her way towards the dirty containers, wondered aloud, "What would get the Slytherin Prince a week of detention?"

Draco made sure to keep the flinch internal as he recalled the reason, "None of your business, mudblood".

"I wonder what she'd say" the voice questioned.  "I don't care", he answered in his mind.  "hmph"

~*And I know, I know they've all been talking about me*~

Her hands tightened on the flasks at the insult but she forced her tone to stay light, "Have it your way.  Going to sit there the whole time or will his majesty actually work?"

"Glad you finally realize who's above you", but he stood up, "I'll just do the cauldrons now, it'll save time".

~*I can hear them whisper*~

With a dismissive nod, Hermione turned her attention completely on cleaning, resolutely trying to pretend the boy wasn't there.  Unfortunately, it seemed Draco was in a rather talkative mood.

"So what was that stunt about in class?" he asked.  He wasn't sure why he was pursuing conversation but rationalized it as just wanting to annoy her.

"What was yours about in the library", she shot back.

"I asked you first".

"Great, did you forget you're not five anymore?" Hermione rolled her eyes and, with her back to him, didn't see him go still.

Damn, she sounded just like that thing in his head.  "I am most certainly not a 'thing'", it protested.  "Whatever it is", the Slytherin thought to himself, "Granger just mimicked it".  Another thing to annoy him.  Without thinking, he gave the same response to her as he did to the voice, "Even when I was 5 years old, I wasn't five and I'm damn well not being it now'.

~*And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me*~

The harsh answer made her turn around.  He hadn't covered the shock yet and pain was slowly being mixed in too.  While her first instinct, being Hermione, was to help, she remembered his reaction the last time she tried that.  So she instead went with mocking, "Now you sound like a 5 year old who forgot his nap".

"Granger", Draco warned, hand going near his wand.

'Granger' decided on Snape-worthy sarcasm, "Oh no, please, don't hurt me", she shook her head at him, "Don't mean to ruin your self esteem or anything Malfoy, but you don't scare me".

"I scare me", he thought to himself right away and scowled.  "Yeah, that's healthy", the voice muttered.  He noticed that Hermione's anger was fading to confusion and hurried to head off any questions, "Obviously, then, your intelligence is greatly exaggerated".

"He's doing it again", the realization ran through her mind.  She had seen his little inward battle, just like in the library.  He knew she had and went on the defensive...she was sure of it.  What exactly was going on with him?  As she wondered, her anger drained.  Something wasn't right and she needed to focus her energy on finding it out rather than on fury.  Wait, "needed" to?  When did she start 'needing' to do things related to the Slytherin?  Great, more things to confuse her, the seemed to be popping up everywhere lately.  In any case, she didn't feel like fighting anymore. 

~*Out of all the hours thinking*~

"Obviously", she agreed dryly and went back to the flasks, ending the conversation.  Draco almost began to speak again but didn't want to slip up again and make the girl even more suspicious.  

~*Somehow I've lost my mind*~

So the teenagers worked in silence until a little bit before Snape would be returning.  By then, Draco was very irritated.  The voice had insisted an annoying him the entire time, saying things such as, "She's gonna find out"... "Maybe you want her to, ever think of that?"

~*But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell*~

... "What would your father say?  You sitting here quietly with a mudblood"... "I wonder if Snape will tell Lucius about all this.  It's pathetic that you got caught.  Really, child, can't even kill yourself right" 

~*But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me*~

At the last one, he reached the peak of his tolerence.  A need to lash out overcame him and his target was the person closest to him at the time.

"Did your little buddies get detention too?"  The tone was decidedly derisive.

~*I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired*~

After debating whether to ignore him or not, Hermione answered, "Not that I know of".

Having not gotten a rise out of her with that, he thickened the sarcasm, "It was really just beautiful the way they followed you out.  All for one and one for all, hmm?"

"You could say that", she resolved not to let him get to her.

~*I know right now you don't care*~

It was time to push really far, he determined, and lowered his voice, making it silky, "And just what do you have to do for them to have such loyalty?"

Hermione couldn't ignore that and had spun around and slapped the boy's face before even realizing it.  Her eyes narrowed and she spoke harshly, "A person whose daddy buys him friends shouldn't ask such questions".

~*But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be*~

Draco put a hand to his red cheek, surprised she'd hit him...again.  "Must you always bring him up?"

"Must you always be a jackass?"

He growled in frustration, "I'm never going to live through this week".

"No", she agreed with a smirk, "You're not".

Eyes glittering, he moved closer to her, about to speak when...

"Something wrong, children?" 

~*I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me*~

Both jumped and turned to Severus, who'd just entered the room.  He looked around, all the flasks were clean and most of the cauldrons were (them taking a longer time).  He sighed, they obviously hadn't worked together.  Also, they appeared to be about to kill each other.  The teacher  noted one side of Draco's face was unusually scarlet colored and wondered what he'd done to deserve it.  Probably would be best to separate them right away, "All right, Ms. Granger, you may leave, I'll see you tomorrow night.  Mr. Malfoy, I would like to talk with you".

~*Yeah, they're taking me away*~

Hermione levelled another glare at Draco before walking out with her head held high.  Severus raised a brow and looked to the remaining student, "Do I want to know what went on here?"

"Not likely", Draco muttered before looking to his teacher, "What do you want to talk to me about?"

"That's a stupid question, even for you", the voice sighed.

~*But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell*~

"I believe you know", Sev answered, "Sit down".

Draco sat with an inward moan, he really didn't feel like talking about the previous night...his failure.

The older wizard prepared himself, this wasn't going to be easy, "Could you tell me why?  In more specific terms than last night, if you please".

Even as he was resolving to brush it off, the words fell from the boy's mouth, "Why not?  All me staying alive will bring is pain.  Just by breathing, I'm spilling blood.  Would you like to live like that?" He demanded.

Severus was shook by the emotion flowing from the brutal answer.  He replied quietly, "I understand.."

"How can you?!" Draco broke in.

The professor locked his own eyes with increasingly miserable blue ones and repeated, "I understand... I just didn't use a broom".

~*But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me*~

"W-What?" He asked in shock, mentally cringing as he stuttered.

A deep breath preceeded the explanation, "There was a night in my 7th year when I decided my life was useless, when I grasped what a pathetic excuse for a person I was.  I had made a dark potion for just such an occasion and went to the deserted girl's bathroom to take it... Dumbledore stopped me just in time".

"What made you realize all that?" Draco asked softly.

~*I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care*~

Severus hesitated...how much information should he give?  If the boy found out the truth and revealed him... but, as long as Draco thought his teacher was deatheater, he'd never confide fully in him. 

~*But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be*~

That sealed the decision and he answered, praying he was making the right choice, "I was a deatheater by then.  It was a particurally rough night... there was a little girl involved", his face contorted in pain, that was all he'd say, Draco didn't need the details...not yet anyway, "When I returned to school I just couldn't cope with that I did anymore.  I was a murderer, not fit to live", he was almost whispering at this point, "When the Headmaster found me, I told him everything.  Instead of bringing me straight to Azkaban, which I deserved, he offered me the chance to, in a very small way, make up for all the harm I'd done.  That was the night I became a spy".

~*Yeah, how I used to be
How I used to be*~

Draco's mouth dropped and he didn't even bother to try to stop it, "Spy?  You're spying?"  "Well, duh", the voice muttered, but he ignored it.  "What if someone found out?"

"You just did", Severus pointed out, "I'm trusting you to keep this between us.  If the truth was exposed it could be rather, ah, uncomfortable for me".

"Why do you trust me?" He didn't understand how anyone could place faith in him.

~*Well, I'm just a little unwell*~

"Because I have the feeling you aren't too thrilled with Voldemort's latest decision".

Draco paused before answering, his paranoid side coming out for a moment.  What if his father had talking Snape into this, to trap him?  If he agreed, said he really didn't want to enter the Dark Lord's service, would his father be waiting with a Crucio the next time they met?

"He'd have that anyway", it said airely.  Draco had to admit it was right, but that didn't solve his current problem.  Then he recalled the look of torture that had overtaken Snape's face when he mentioned the little girl...that couldn't be faked.... "I hate it", he confided.

That made Severus smile, "Good.  I'm sure your father has informed you about the weekend situation?"

"Yes", he whispered, shuddering involuntarily.

~*How I used to be*~

The shudder wiped away the smile, "I know he's not really father material, Draco..."

Draco snorted bitterly, "He's not human material".

"True", Severus nodded, "All the more reason to screw up all the plans he has", the comment puts a ghost of a smile on Draco's lips and Sev continues, "Regarding the weekends, Dumbledore has assured me some 'random' events will be happening as much as possible to prevent you going", the boy relaxed a little, "For the times you do, Lupin and I will be teaching you some ways to reduce the effects.  Also, I'll be making some potions you can take for it".

"Lupin?" That was all Draco allowed to filter through, he'd sort through the other stuff later on.

Severus wasn't too happy about that part, but Albus had insisted, "Dumbledore feels it will be a good idea, him being the Defense teacher and all.  Now, whenever you return to Hogwarts after a session, you are to come down to my chambers.  I'll have some healing potions and etc.  Besides, concealing charm or no, you'll be a sight and we don't want anyone becoming suspicious".

~*How I used to be*~

All this thought had gone into caring for him?  Draco couldn't believe it.  His mind felt very muddled, "Umm...Thank you.  May I go to my rooms now, sir?"

Severus nodded his permission and silently watched the boy leave, not sure what to say.  As he laid his tired head on his desk he wondered how Draco was dealing with it all.  Hopefully better than he himself was.

~*I'm just a little unwell*~

A/N Tada!! It's finally here!  Now, credit for the line, "He's not human material" goes to the wonderful Cinnamon.  She said it in a review and I really liked it so I decided to use it :)  Now, I'm planning on the whole next chapter being Draco's little nighttime thoughts about Sevvy being a spy, thinking about the training and etc.  If I can't make it long enough, though, someone else will show up, not sure who.  We'll see!!  Maybe some more Hermione.  Hope you all liked this (very late) chapter :D Please review! :)