A/N Okay, my muse changed its direction for this chapter.  Draco's thoughts will be prominent but I've stuck Hermione in the middle, I have reasons :)  It's not as long as I thought it would be, but I wanted to stop there.  Next chapter should include some of Draco's thoughts on Hemione, but I thought the Snape issue should take prescendence.  The song is "Why" by Stabbing Westward.  It doesn't really fit Hermione, so it'll just be in Draco's parts.  Umm, Draco was kinda hard to write for some reason, so sorry if he's a bit odd.  The flashbacks have returned this chapter, Draco has a childhood memory.  It's really rather dark.  Okay, hope you enjoy!!

quidditch-playa-lover: Thanks for reviewing!!  I love your name :)  Yay, I get all giddy when I see a new reviewer :)  I'm so happy you like it!!  And that I gave you some cleaning breaks, lol.  Hopefully, this chapter was worth waiting for.  Thank you again!! :-D

Ms. Padfoot: Thanks for reviewing!!  Hehe, I'm glad the quality makes up for the delay :)  I know what you mean about getting involved with the fics, one hour turns to two, to three, and etc...  It's insane (in a fun way of course)  :)  I'm sure me mentioned BYM was unnecessary because everyone has already gone and read it, right? ::stares at everyone till they nod:: Exactly ;p  Ahh, I love chapter 28!!  Sirius' prank was quite beautiful :-D  Hmm, does that mean that when I post this I'll see a new chapter to BYM too?  Hehe, I can dream :)

Katja: Thank you for reviewing!!  Aww, you're too kind, but thanks!  The character's protrayal is often my biggest worry so you have no idea how happy you make me by saying I do them well.  I'm glad I could help!! :)  I love that song and am happy it fit better than I thought :-D  Yum, I like the cherry ones :)

Jaina: Thanks for reviewing!!  Linkin Park rocks, I must agree.  The first time I heard it, Draco came immediately to my mind, it just took forever for me to actually start this fic, lol.  I see great minds think alike :)  I'm glad you like it :)  Thank you again!

Darcel:  Thanks for reviewing!! Hehe, thank you, I'm glad you didn't feel it was too delayed :) 

Melissa:  Thanks for reviewing!!  New readers are great :-D  Woah, thank you very much, that's a very nice thing to say :)  Hope you like this next chapter just as much :-D

Elena The Eccentric:  Thanks for reviewing!!  Another new reader ::happy dance::  Yes, it is pretty angsty, I'm sorry I almost made you cry (well, not very sorry because that means you got into it, but you know what I mean :)  I didn't want to make Narcissa uncaring like she's sometimes showed, I think she's tough too.  Glad you agree :)  Revenge would be very nice.  I despise Luicus, as this story shows.  I never thought about the Hitler relation, but you're right.  Oh, hell yeah, I want him to suffer too.  LoL, yes Hermione's nasty side is fun.  I'm sorry you don't like the Snape/Draco stuff.  I'm trying to stick to the books, but in order for Snape to help Draco, I had to change it a little.  Plus, deep down, I think Snape has a heart, lol, it's my own little dream :)  Thank you again for reviewing, hope you like this chapter as well :)

~~Draco's POV~~

~*I am not here
I think I've never been here at all or ever will be*~

How am I supposed to sleep after that?  The man really should've planned that better.

"Oh, shut up.  You're avoiding the real issues"

What are you now, my therapist?

"You certainly need one"

Malfoy's don't need therapists.  Yet another thing on the list of Malfoy "don't's" list.  Malfoys don't cry.  Don't show any emotion.  Don't converse with muggles or mudbloods.  Don't go against the Dark Lord in any fashion.  Don't ever break...

~*I feel like a place
Where no one goes anymore*~

"Guess you're not much of a Malfoy, huh?"

I guess not....

~~Hermione's POV~~

That arrogant, slimy, cruel bastard!  How dare he!!  He's so lucky I only slapped him!  Just because I have real friends and he doesn't...

Okay, deep breaths.  Ugh, why am I letting this get to me?  It's just Malfoy, who cares what he thinks?  Not me, that's for sure....

Dammit, now I sound like I'm trying to convince myself.  Which I'm not.  Right?  Who am I asking?  I need sleep, lots of sleep.  Tomorrow when I wake up, this all will be much clearer, I'm sure.

"Mr. Malfoy I'd like to speak with you", the line runs through my head, Snape seemed pretty upset about whatever it was, now that I think of it.  I was too angry to notice then, but he didn't make any cutting remarks at all except for the beginning, and that was to both of us.  Only something truly dreadful could make that man forget to mock "Know-it-all Granger".  I wonder what it was.  There goes that annoying curiosity again. 

I should've stayed and listened at the door.  Not the most decent thing to do, but I am trying to break the "perfect" look, correct?  Whatever could it be... Maybe it has something to do with Draco's breakdown.  Damn, called him Draco again.  I sigh as I slip beneath my covers.  I would think it impossible for me to waste so much thought on that Slytherin.

I guess not...

~~Back to Draco (And we're gonna stay there)~~

~*Why can't you see that everything's
Why does it seem this life's broken? turned gray?*~

Father always knew I wouldn't make a true Malfoy, constantly told me.  Sometimes I think he's happy I'm such a screw-up, it gives him something to complain about....

~*I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe that I am real*~

A memory unearths itself, I thought I'd forgotten this one.  Merlin knows I've tried.  I feel my breath getting shallower, chest tighter... It was around two years before he used the Cruciatus, or any spells, as punishment.  Up until then it had always been his bare hands.  I hate those hands...

~~~~~~~I was waiting excitedly outside for Father to come home.  Even with all he did, I longed for him to accept me, to just smile at me once.  A real smile, not the ones he got when beating me.  My mind then just didn't comprehend that it all wasn't deserved.  I suppose I saw it as pretty normal.  After all, I was a worthless, useless disappointment.  I worked so hard to change that.  It never occurred to me that maybe he was the disappointment.

~*It seems so bizarre
But none of this matters*~

I was running around in impatience when I fell and cut my leg on a rock.  It was pretty deep and blood began to pour out.  I tried not to cry, Father said it wasn't right, but it stung so much.  All the blood scared, regardless of the fact that he'd made much more flow before.  So one by one small tears trickled down.  My head was lowered but my shaking shoulders betrayed the soft sobs.

Suddenly I was being pulled up by my arm and heard, "Stop sniveling you little failure".

I looked up to see Father, extremely angry.  I had let him down once again, "I'm sorry.."  I was cut off as he literally threw me forward, causing me to skid and get more slices.

~*Thoughts disappear, hope has died*~

He raised his leg, about to kick, when he seemed to remember we were outside, "Go in, now".  I jumped up, my cuts protesting, and went as quickly as possible into the house.  When there, he grabbed my hair and dragged me into the living room as the house elves watched in fear and pity. 

"Do you like showing everyone how weak you are, child?"  A back hand sent me to ground again and it took me a moment to answer.

"No Father".

Lucius didn't even reply, just roughly pulled me up and slapped me again.  Since he still held my arm, I couldn't fall and get even a second's respite from his fury.  He hit again, again, again... I lost count.  Never saying anything, just staring at me with the utmost disgust.  During it, I berated myself.  I should be better, more worthy, stronger... If I wasn't so pathetic then he wouldn't do these things.  He'd really care.

Finally, he dropped me and used his feet.  One blow to my stomach, one to my legs, back to my stomach... like some sick pattern.  He seemed to aim for the cut I'd gotten when I fell and it was torn apart even more.  I was crying again, the tears making my vision blurry.  I screamed, begged, "Please, Father, please".  Lucius stopped and I shuddered in relief, causing shots of pain to resound.  The relief slowly turned to a sick fear when he spoke...

"Malfoys do not beg, Draco", I hated it when he said my name, it always meant the worse, "They do not scream or cry, they are not spineless wimps.  You are a disgrace to our name, do you know that?  Can't even take this like a man.  I need an heir, boy, not someone who will destroy all the work I've done".

I heard something thump and tried to see through the blood and tears... no.  The plea stayed silent, but there nonetheless.  There, although blurry, was his cane.  I can't stand it, even when it's not hurting me.  It may be an inanimate object, but evil seems to waft from it.  Lucius uses it so much, it's taken on some of his qualities. 

I know he saw me flinch, I know because he smiled.  Not the one I craved, the one I feared. 

"Stand", the command was given with an air of anticipation.

I'm not sure how I stood, considering the state I was it.  Maybe terror pushed me up?  In any case, I eventually made it to my feet somehow.  I was shaking, but I stood.  Not being able to look into those hate filled eyes, I stared at the floor.  It was covered in red sticky stuff.  I was too far gone to realize then that it was my blood. 

As it struck me, the cane enevitably hit other wounds.  Even if he wasn't aiming there were so many it would be impossible to miss.  I resolved not to cry out.  Father said Malfoys didn't do that and I so very much wanted to be a Malfoy.  I kept thinking he'd stop when he saw I wasn't going to scream.  But he didn't.  I finally crashed to the floor with a strangled scream.  Only then did he cease the blows.

~*Now I am safe, nothing can hurt me here*~

I was sprawled, blood everywhere, unable to move, most of my body had lost feeling.  Father merely left the room, leaving me to be tended to by house-elves, or my mother... whichever found me first.  As he passed through the doorway he said one more thing, "Happy Birthday."~~

~*Why can't you see my need for forgiveness?
The truth and the lies confused as one*~

Now I know that something had gone wrong at work and even if I'd been out killing muggles when he got home he still would've found a reason to blow up.  Then, though, all I could think was how I'd messed up yet again.  I would've done anything to make him proud, make him see me for once. 

Even at this point, I wonder at times if maybe there was some moment where if I'd done something, said something...  Logically, I know that's not true.  That Lucius is just incapable of any human emotion.  Unforunately, when thoughts like that come, logic doesn't play a part.

~*I can't believe in anything sacred
When I don't believe in anything*~

At my darkest moments I wish I was what he wants, whatever that is, I wish I was him.  I'd be empty, cruel, lifeless in every way that counts.  But maybe I would hurt less.  Maybe my mother would.  I know a lot of her bruises are my fault.  Everytime I mess up, she's to blame for not having a stronger son.  If I'd been born what he desired, perhaps he'd be nicer to her. 

~*I am alone
Locked in my memories*~

I'll never know, though, because I'm not what he wished for, I'm not him. 

"Are you sure?"

Yes!  I'm not going to be a slave to a red-eyed monster.  I'm trying to stop all this, I don't want to help those people.  Even if I fail, I'm trying and that's more than Lucius ever did.

"Aren't you the strong one tonight".

No, I'm not strong.  That's the one thing he's always been right about.  If I was then I would've done something before this.  I've heard the screams of people deep in secret parts of the manors during meetings.  I know what he does when he goes out at night.  I've done nothing.  I hear those screams now and I feel like I'm drowning in the blood of my victims.

~*There's nowhere left for me to hide*~

"Get ahold of yourself, will you?  If you act like this during training, you're dead".

Training sessions.  Voldemort and Lucius vying to be the one to break me.  I have a feeling the beatings will be nothing compared to them.  Will I be able to do this?

"Snape thinks you can".

~*But I am not real*~

Snape.  I see his worried face in my mind.  Worried.  About me.  It's hard to understand.  "I just didn't use a broom", I remember his hushed confession.  So he's set out to help me... A part of me rebels at that.  I don't need help, can take care of things on my own.

"No you can't, if your flying stunt is any indication".

You know why I did that, I had to.  I have to.

~*I've made all I am with lies*~

"You really want to prove your father right on the weak issue?"

What?  I'm trying to save people!

"You would only be saving yourself!  You know Voldemort will find someone else!"

I can't do anything about that!

"Why not try to make up for things?  Like Snape".

~*Why does it seem that everything's different?
Why does it seem that only you are real?*~

That stops me short.  I can't believe he's a spy.  My father fully trusts him and I'm relatively sure Voldemort does too.  I shudder as I think of what would happen to my professor if he is found out.  The Dark Lord doesn't like to be betrayed.  But he told me, trusting that I'll keep it secret.  How can he have confidence in me when I don't?  In any case, I won't tell, to spite Lucius if nothing else.

They have a plan, an actual plan to take care of me.  They're not just going to leave me on a bloody carpet.  Even Lupin is helping.  I'm sure it's just to ensure Voldemort doesn't have any victories, but still.  Genuine effort is being put in.... I hate being confused.

~*I don't believe in anything sacred
So, why do I feel so damned alone?*~

"It's not to just stop Voldemort.  Honestly, I'm starting to wonder if Lucius is right about your intelligence."

Shut up.  You won't change my mind on that.

"Fine, but don't think it's over.  Now, are you going to try at redemption?"

I...How? 

~*I need someone to break the silence*~

"Do I really have to spell everything out for you?  Stay alive, number one.  Go to the sessions, let them make you stronger.  Strong enough to one day..."

Beat them.

~*That's screaming in my head*~

"Exactly.  Glad you finally caught on".

This isn't going to be easy.

"It's not supposed to be.  But it's something.  I guess your situation isn't so hopeless after all, hmm?"

I guess not...

~*And in my soul*~

A/N I told you it was odd!!  lol, not sure why I couldn't really get anyone into character this chapter.  Hmm, the second Draco part is really sappy, I know.  This time, though, I'm not going to apologize because I wanted sappiness.  After a memory like that, it just fits in my opinion.  I hope you agree :)  Please go review now or I'll die from disappointment and you'll never know what happens next!! hehe :p