Spike walked back into the house he and Buffy were hiding in. She was still unconscious. He had left for a couple minutes to try and find some sort of food; he came back empty handed.
Spike went straight to the bed Buffy was lying on. He slid his left hand under hers and grasped it. "I missed ya ya know. Tried gettin' back but that couldn't be easy of coarse. Thought about you every day. Every minute. Memories of you started fadin' and I felt like I was losin' ya. Then when we fought off everything, I could see you again. Then that had to get messed up by that stupid git." He looked at Buffy's face. He brushed it with the back of his right hand. "Now I don't know if you even want to be with me any more." He looked at her closed eyes. Her soft lips. Spike leaned in and kissed her. When he sat back, her eyes started to react. "Buffy?"
Buffy's eyes closed tighter before they opened. She was in a different place that she didn't know, but when she looked to her left, he was there. Spike.
"Bout time you joined the conversation," he said.
Buffy smiled. "You know me, always ready to procrastinate." They both smiled. "I missed you Spike." His heart would've jumped a beat if he actually had one. "I like how you make me feel. Ya know, comfortable."
Spike pursed his lips. Not exactly the response he wanted. She made it sound like she enjoyed their "friendship." He didn't want a friendship. Spike stood up and put his back to her.
"What? Did I say something wrong?" Buffy asked, slowly standing up.
"No. Nothin'."
"Your pants are on fire," Buffy stated.
Spike looked down, puzzled. After a thought he caught on to her comment. "Funny."
"I try. Mind telling me what's wrong?"
"Just..." Spike was debating whether to say what he wanted or to lie.
"No need to walk on eggshells here Spike."
Spike turned and faced her. "I'm not. It's just... I don't want you to feel comfortable with me."
Buffy was perplexed. "Why not?"
"Because I want you... to want me."
"You're not gonna burst into song are you?"
"Stop doin' that!" he said, frustrated.
"Doing what? I have no idea what you're saying."
"I don't want to be just your friend. I guess I should've caught on the last year at your house."
"What? What do you mean?"
"You acted like you cared but we didn't... ya know."
Buffy exhaled deeply. "You are such a male! You think I didn't want you because we didn't sleep together?"
"Well yeah Buffy. Wanting and sex come hand in hand. At least the last I knew. Which was three years ago when we actually did have sex." Spike walked past her and headed to the bed.
"I told you I loved you and you said I didn't! How do you think that made me feel?" she yelled.
"That's because you don't love me. You never will. You'll always love Angel."
"Well duh, but I want to be with you!" Buffy argued.
"He was your first love Buffy. I can't compete with that."
"There's no competition. I don't want to be with Angel. Yes I will always love him but I'll also always love Xander and Giles. That doesn't mean I want to jump into bed with- oh ew!" Buffy said, thinking of sleeping with Giles. "Mind paints a picture. Mind paints a picture." Spike gritted his teeth. Buffy saw his frustration growing. "Why can't you believe that I want to be with you?"
"Because I don't deserve you. You know I don't, which is why you don't want to be with me."
"Excuse me? When did you start deciding what I wanted? I was still under the impression I held the remote for this body."
"You only slept with me because you couldn't get it any where else."
"No, I slept with you to feel. I felt devoid from my friends and family. I had no feeling towards anything. I was empty. The only thing that made me feel real, or alive, was being with you. That was true even after you got your soul and we slept in your bed, and your arm was around me. I felt safe and that made me happy because I wasn't preparing Potentials to die or deciding what was best for everyone. You helped me forget about all that stuff and that felt good." Buffy had tears welling in her eyes.
"But I hurt you Buffy. I promised you the world and I hurt you." He looked Buffy in the eyes, showing his hurt.
Buffy walked to him and stood about three inches from his body. "Spike, if this is about the rape thing-"
Spike walked around her and shook his head while saying, "No. No. No."
"Spike?"
"I don't want to think about it." He stood by the door, dismissing eye contact. Buffy cautiously walked towards him. "I tried raping you."
"But you didn't."
"Because thankfully you're stronger."
"When needs be."
"Buffy," he turned to her. "How can you want to be with someone who did that to you?"
"Because it was a confusing and hard time for you. You weren't thinking straight." Buffy stood in front of him. "And you became a better person. A better man." He looked down at the floor, trying to grasp her statement. "Spike, I love you." She looked into his eyes. They still had the same soft blue color that she remembered losing herself in.
"I love you too."
They looked at each other's mouths and back to their eyes. Then they looked at each other's mouths as they went in for a kiss. Their lips connected like the missing piece to a puzzle. Spike placed his hands around her waist and Buffy placed hers on his face. Spike slowly pushed Buffy to the bed. He put his right arm around her back and braced their bodies with his left one as they met the bed.
As Spike undid her dress, Buffy unzipped his pants. His hand slid up her back to the zipper. He gently pulled it down as he kissed her mouth. Spike grew a bulge in his pants from Buffy's touch. She smiled at being able to arouse him so easily. She lifted his shirt over his head and teased him by kissing down his stomach as she pulled the pants down. She turned Spike over, keeping eye contact as she pulled them off.
Spike sat up once he was unclothed and, on his knees, started kissing her lips. He pulled off one strap of her dress. He kissed her shoulder and brushed it with his hand. He slid off the other and pulled off the dress as he drew Buffy down to him. She pushed the rest off and kicked it to the floor.
Spike rolled over so he resided on top. He touched her as only an experienced man could, rubbing his hands over her stomach and over her legs. He instinctively seemed to know where to go and just how long to stay. Sliding his strong arms beneath her, Spike lifted Buffy's hips to him. He felt incredible and she begged him not to stop. He honored her wishes slowly bringing her to the peak of ecstasy. She wrapped her arms around his body and pulled him closer, wanting to feel him deeper. Her orgasm came like an explosion. She was sweating and taking deep breaths. She realized Spike was too. Buffy looked from his eyes to lips and back again. Spike took the hint and went in for a kiss.
"I love you," Spike told her.
Buffy smiled. It was good to hear that again. "I love you too Spike." She pulled him in for another kiss.
Buffy suddenly stopped, sensing something. Spike looked at her, shocked how worried she unexpectedly became. "What?"
"I have a feeling."
Spike grinned. "Again pet?" he asked, kissing her collarbone.
Buffy pushed him back. "No." She sat up and looked out the house. There was no door to conceal them. "There's someone out there."
Spike listened and heard something too.
They scrambled over to their clothes and quickly put them on. As Spike zipped his pants and Buffy zipped her dress, five vampires appeared in the doorway.
"Bloody hell."
Buffy looked at them all. She glanced around to see if there was anything she could use, planning an offensive. "No rough housing inside. I just remodeled."
The vampires smiled and attacked.