A/N: Wow.  I can't believe this is chapter 16...and that people are still reading!!!  Thank you all!!  I like long stories so I'm not sure when this story will be over, but it won't be for a while.  I hope you all continue to stick around and thanks again for reading!  Guess what!  I started the 5th book and already hate Harry, it's gonna be a tough read... Hey everyone, Quidditch-playa-lover just posted a story Beautiful Dreamer, it's Hr/D.  Much lighter than this story and well written.  It's her first story here and really good, I laughed tons.  Hehe, I felt the need to mention it because I really like it and I'm her beta so I wanted to show my support.

Quidditch-playa-lover: Thanks for reviewing!  Exactly!!  And Hermione gets to tame him, lucky girl, lol.  Lucius ::growl::  I'm thinking of doing another chapter in his POV soon, his thoughts while torturing his son during the session and such.  Going to be awfully dark.  Hehe, I'm gonna try to work a sword somewhere into this story, can't help it!  And it won't be Godric's ;-)  Sarcasm is a beautiful thing, lol.

Claire: Thanks for reviewing!  Don't worry a bit.  There is no possible way I could make Draco super duper nice, I like his other side way too much!!  Hermione's agreed (with herself, lol) to help him, but she's not happy about it.  And Draco won't be either.  They'll slowly become friends, then more, so it'll be a while.  And, throughout it, they'll keep their personalities :-) 

Ms. Padfoot: Thanks for reviewing! Aww, thank you!!  Yes, you are right on target :-)  When Hermione eventually finds out what really happened with Draco that saturday night, her 'sickness' will make much more sense to her :-D

Darcel: Thanks for reviewing!  I'd love any suggestions :-) I'm in the process of reading the 5th book, but don't worry about mentioning something that's in it or anything.  I already know everything from reading summaries and asking people (I had to know what I was getting into it, lol).

Koolcat: Thanks for reviewing!  Eek, I know, it has to be horrible to witness something like that.  She's already having nightmares so I can't imagine how much worse they'll get (and I really can't since I haven't decided yet, lol).  I love Dobby!

Katja: Thanks for reviewing!  I want to make my chapters long, but I keep finding good spots to cut off at, like this one, it's awfully short (to me, anyway).  lol, goofballs are fun, think Fred and George :-)  I never thought about Hermione and Draco together till I started to read fanfic and then fell in love with it for some reason.  Glad you like it in this story :-)   I love Disney movies!!  They rock.  I know, I get weird looks because of the whole being 16 and watchin them too, but I'll love them no matter how old I am ::stomps foot::  And since I'll be 5 forever, that works, lol.  Ohh, snitch!!  Pretty :-)  hehe, I love randomness.

I feel like putting in a disclaimer because I'm bored: Considering how many people are out to get her because of the 5th book, I proudly proclaim I'm not Her.  I no longer like her HP world, for a world without Sirius and with Umbridge just plain sucks.  Thus, this is my world, the characters belong to She Who Shall Not Be Named but the plot be mine.  ::evil laugh:: Basically?  Don't sue me, it's really not worth it.

~~~~Sevvy's POV~~~~

~*Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today…*~

I wonder how long one gets in Azkaban for murder.  Maybe if the victim is a deatheater it doesn't matter?  I'm sure there are many who wouldn't mind seeing Lucius' demise.  Narcissa can throw a party; there'd actually be laughter in that manor.  Perhaps if I don't use an Unforgivable, it won't be so bad.  I can get a nice dull sword so it wouldn't be over quick.  Can't disappoint Mr. Pain and Torture...

"Severus?"

That blasted werewolf knocks me from my thoughts.  All right, not so 'blasted' considering he's helping.  But old habits die hard.

"How's he doing?"  I had left Lupin to watch Draco while I worked on some more potions.  Needed to get the sight off of my mind, it didn't work so well.

~*Why am I so uptight today?*~

"The last one you gave him seems to be working, I saw him move", he looks hopeful.

Forgetting my whole "controlled professor" image, I jump up and race to the bed we transfigured in front of the fireplace.  While he's been out, we've been performing little spells, healing bones and such.  When he wakes up Draco should be feeling relatively well.  A few aches, but most of the damage has been fixed.  It helps a little not to see his face so battered...not much though...

I suppose I don't look so well either, if that Granger girl's reactions have been anything to go by.  She seemed pretty ill as well.  Okay, more than 'pretty', very.  She probably thinks I've cracked. 

"Being human doesn't mean you're cracked"

For me it does.  Actually expressing some sort of concern in the hallway.  Merlin, I can't believe I offered her a way out of detention.  This whole fiasco must be affecting me worse than I thought. 

~*Paranoia's all I got left*~

I'm still not sure why I told her so much about Draco.  Maybe it was the worry in her voice... but why would a Gryffindor (and that one out of them all) care what happens to Draco?  Much as I despise the house, I must admit the boy could use some more people on his side.

"Professor?"

I jolt and look down at the weak voice.  Draco's eyes are heavy and he still looks exhausted, but he's awake.  I smile at him and turn to call to Lupin, "He's up".

~~~~~Draco's POV~~~~~

I'm not at the manor.  I'm not with Lucius.  Those are my first thoughts as I open my eyes to see Snape. 

~*don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed / but*~

Relief floods me and I can feel the tension leave my body.  My body that's not so battered as it was before.  No more broken bones and I can no longer feel the slices on my back and front.  Sort of like how my mother would come and help me, but I don't have to worry about Lucius beating Snape for it.  I hear footsteps and look to see Lupin approaching.  I guess it's time to admit the guy isn't so bad, huh?

"Gee, you think?"

~*I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head*~

"Would you like something to eat?" He asks with a small smile.

The last time I ate was breakfast with Mum, so I nod.  He summons a house elf as Snape turns to me.  There's so much worry in his gaze I'm in shock.  I don't know if I'll ever get used to this people caring about me thing.

~*It's like a face that I hold inside*~

"Am I EVER going to get through to you?"

Probably not.

~*A face that awakes when I close my eyes*~

"How did it go?" He sounds like he would really rather not hear the answer.

I don't want to think about it, "It was fine".

Snape raises an eyebrow, "Yeah, right.  The truth please", I stay silent, "I know it's hard to think about, but we have to know.  It might help to talk about it".

~*A face watches every time I lie*~

I don't believe that but have a feeling he's not going to stop until I answer.  With a sigh, I sit up a little in the bed just as Lupin comes back with a tray of food.  Seeing me prepare to talk, he sets it on a table with a spell to keep it warm.  I suppose he wants to hear too since he seats himself in a chair and waits for me to begin.  Well this is going to be fun...

"The session wasn't so bad.  Voldemort did very little damage.  The normal blasts, a Cruciatus", both their eyes narrow at this, "I managed to stand during it", a light of approval enters Snape's expression and it's a little easier to talk about, "Then he shot something that cut me.  He was all angry that I didn't block it.  All though, now that I think of it, the reason he put the Cruciatus on me was because I blocked a spell and got him with one.  Stupid Dark Lord, doesn't even know what he wants".  I'm babbling.  Hm, something new everyday.

I can see Lupin's lips twitch and Snape coughs into his hand.  At least I provide amusement. 

~*A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)*~

I roll my eyes and continue, "He asked why I didn't block it and I..." Suddenly I remember promising not to antagonize Voldemort.  Oops, "And I apologized.  Lucius got mad that I wasn't totally perfect and inflicted the rest of the injuries you saw", Snape looks suspicious, what would get their attention?  Oh yeah, "And this morning, he put the Imperius on me and I fought it.  That's why I blacked out."

I can see pride in his expression at the mention of the Imperius but he still says, "I don't believe you".

I raise an eyebrow much like he did earlier at Snape's statement, "About what?"

"When Voldemort asked you why, what did you say?"

Annoyingly cynical professor, can't even take my word for something.

"Well, you did lie"

~*So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me / right beneath my skin*~

Technicality. 

I sigh, "In my head, I said something to myself like, 'I just got Crucio'd, you couldn't even handle a baby'", their eyes widen, "It wasn't till he said something that I realize I'd said it out loud by accident", I hear two gasps.  Oh yes, Draco did something stupid.  How very surprising.

~*It's like I'm / paranoid lookin' over my back*~

"Oh shut up, I don't feel like listening"

No one's asking you to stay! 

"So you gave a sarcastic retort to the Dark Lord", Snape massaged his temples, "I thought we discussed this?"

"It's not like I did it on purpose!  Hell, if I knew what it was going to make Lucius do..." I stop myself, feeling emotion rise up.  Whatever else I'm changing about myself, this will not.  I do not get emotional.  Things happen, I deal with them.  Dwelling does no good.

~*It's like a / whirlwind inside of my head*~

"What exactly did he do?" He asks softly.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Lupin quietly leave.  My hand fists with the effort not to start yelling, I close my eyes and evenly explain it to Snape, "Voldemort got angry at Lucius for my outburst.  He put the Cruciatus on him.  Besides that, Lucius was humiliated.  You know how important image is to him", I open my eyes again to see his nod.  Lucius grabbing my arm, being back at the manor, the yelling...As the memories hit I feel a little detached and hear as I relate, in sickening detail, that night...

~*It's like I / can't stop what I'm hearing within*~

~~~~~Sevvy again~~~~~

Mustn't go kill Lucius, mustn't kill him... Why the bloody hell not?!

"You're not exactly helping the situation"

~*It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin*~

Do you blame me?  I want to throw up after listening to Draco....

"He kept kicking me"..."Threw things".... "Verbero".... little snatches keep running through my mind.  How horrible is it that the freaking Dark Lord is less of a threat to Draco than his own father?

He told all of it in a monotone voice, betraying no hint of feeling.  I know I'm not one to talk, but him bottling these things up isn't good.  One day it could explode and we would lose him to hatred.  Therefore, he is going to talk... Merlin, I'm going to hate this just as much as him...

~*I know I've got a face in me
points out all the mistakes to me*~

"Draco, how do you feel?" The words feel strange coming from my mouth.

He shrugs, "You two healed most of it, I'm pretty good".

"I don't mean physically.  You went through hell this weekend, you have to have some thoughts on it".

~*You've got a face on the inside too and*~

Another shrug, "It happened".

And, of course, he can't make it easy.  Do I really have to do this?  I could go unwind, make a potion, mark down a Gryffindor essay, and let Draco rest.  I almost give in and walk away, but something stops me.  While awaiting my response he looks at me and, no matter how he tries to hide it, there's such fear in his eyes.  I can't just leave him drowning in that, "You can't ignore it".

~*Your paranoia's probably worse*~

"Why not?" He answers harshly, then seems surprised at his reaction.

"Because it'll eat you alive", my eyes darken for a moment, "Trust me, I know".

~*I don't know what set me off first but I know what I can't stand*~

"The little girl", he softly states.

A scream enters my head and I shake it away with a swift nod.  Now's the time to deal with his demons, not mine, "Just vent.  It helps".

"Maybe you can fight both", the voice injects, but I ignore it.

"Vent about what?" Draco begins, still quietly, "About the fact that my own father wants me dead?  How about the fact that I came home to find my mother unable to walk?!  Maybe how it's my fault, because that bastard wanted me to see her like that!  Or we could go into those nice little torture sessions that I'm booked for with the 'great' Dark Lord himself!  I know!  We could discuss Lucius' love of hearing me scream, the scars I have everywhere!"  By the end, he is yelling and I see his eyes have become rather shiny.  He wipes them roughly, "And how he's right about me being weak, those bloody attacks!"

~*Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but*~

Somehow I don't think he's talking about the attacks from Lucius, "Attacks?"

He seems to just realize what he said and quickly explains, "You know, his usual and everything".

"What is it with you and lying?"

With a glare, he responds, "Ugh.  It's nothing.  Just a few, I don't know, panic attacks or whatever".

"Explain them".

I can tell he doesn't want to, but he tells me, "My chest gets tight, hard to breathe, I start sweating, get dizzy, sometimes close to blacking out".

~*Everybody has a face that they hold inside*~

"When do they come?"

"Most of the times I think about Lucius", he wipes his eyes again.

~*A face that awakes when they close their eyes*~

"Can you fight them?"

"I can manage to push them back after a little bit.  The only time I could totally stop it was on the way to Hogsmead. I", he coughs, "I didn't want to find out what Lucius would think of them".

I nod, once again damning that monster in my head, "If they get worse, or if you can't deal with them, come to me for a calming potion, all right?"  He nods, staring at his lap, "It's nothing to be ashamed of Draco", silence, "And your outburst was a good start.  I know you don't want to talk about them, I'm not much into the emotion thing myself", understatement, "But you've gotta let yourself feel or you'll end up empty, like Lucius".

~*A face watches every time they lie*~

I see him bite his lip at that before looking up at me defiantly, "Well aren't you the hypocrite".

Can't argue with him there, "I missed my moment.  You still have time, don't lose it". 

Draco continues to glare at me, but the moisture gathering is finally leaking out and I can see him trying to fight the tears back.  He says, very faintly, "I'm not supposed to cry".

~*A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)*~

Ahh, what am I getting myself into??  Lupin needs to get back in here, he's good with all that gentle, comforting..stuff.  I don't know how to deal with feelings, why did I make him talk?  Taking a deep breath, I remember finding him that night on the Quidditch pitch.  I maintain that I'm not enough to help him...

"But you're all he's got"

Dammit, the stupid voice is right. 

~*So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too / right inside your skin*~

I shrug, "So it would annoy Lucius?"

He nods, still desperately trying to stop.

"Then I say go right ahead".

Draco looks a little shocked but I see a weak smile pass over his face.  The tears come faster and he draws his knees up and places his head down on them.  I (very) awkwardly put a hand on his shoulder.  Take that, Lucius.

~*The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me*~

A/N:  Yeah, yeah it was short, but I needed to get it outta the way :-) Dull sword, Amber! lol.  Okay, Sev and Draco may've seemed a bit OOC in that last part, but I think that Sevvy can be caring if he tries.  Also, Draco finally caves because he's been through a lot and finally has someone who actually cares.  Don't worry, though, they're not going to always be all mushy or anything, lol :-) 

All right, I need help finding a certain story.  It's driving me crazy!  I read it a while ago, Harry goes to move in with Sirius (maybe Lupin too) but he's really depressed, he doesn't even speak, it's like he's in a living coma.  Dumbledore and them decide to give him a potion that makes him 5 to get him to open up.  Does anyone know of a story that sounds like that?  It's bugging me that I can't remember what it is.  Thanks to any who can help and please push the pretty review button :-)