"Saving Grace"

I own nothing, yada, yada, yada...

This is the third chapter. For those of you just reading for the first time the story is LG centric, but this chapter is not. It takes place after the season finale. Adam found a dead body at work and his father made him quit his job. The body is one in a string of strange suicides that Kevin's paper is blaming on the police department. Luke and Grace have introduced their families at Grace's Bat Mitzvah and everyone is accepting, accept Grace's stereotypical Jewish mother. Grace's married and pregnant sister, Faith is working with Kevin and the two are developing a friendship. Grace's oldest sister, Hope is in town and proves to be an interesting addition. Joan is still trying to ignore God, but he keeps helping her.

Forewarning: This chapter has a lot of flashbacks (read by me and translated from )!

Grace's Bat Mitzvah was a success. Grace was given permission to see Luke and the families had a great time celebrating. It is now Sunday and Joan is walking to the Skylight bookstore for work when Goth Kid God appears next to her. Joan does not look at him, "God, get lost," she says angrily.

Goth Kid God sulks, "I know you're named after two virgin martyrs, but Joan, please don't act like one."

Joan halts and stares at God. "Please, this coming from Mr. Antisocial..."

Goth God laughs, "I keep talking Joan, it's you who've stopped listening."

Joan starts to walk again, increasing her pace. "Don't ever...talk to me again!" she shouts at Him.

God stops walking, "You said that to me the first time we spoke and it didn't stop me then and it won't stop me now." Joan freezes remembering meeting Cute Guy God on the city bus. Flashback:

Cute Guy God looks at Joan, "I've known you since before you were born, Joan."

Joan looks frightened, "I'm going to ask you one more time."

"I'm God." Cute Guy God replies.

"You're what?" Joan stammers, taken aback.

"God." He again replies.

Joan shakes her head, "Don't ever...talk to me again." She says as she walks away, looking back at God.

Joan unlocks the bookstore, shuttering at the memory and the pain it brings her to feel that He is not real. Joan turns on the lights and starts to restock shelves. As she picks up a book to reshelf it, she reads the title, but all that she sees is the word acceptance. Joan pauses and remembers how she accepted God as God. Flashback:

Joan's walking down the hall and Cute Guy God is standing there against a pole.

"Hey God!" Joan says mockingly, "Get lost, I mean it."

"I know you think you mean it." Cut Guy God says seriously.

"You know, I'm going to give my father a full description and a composite drawing of you, both before dark." Joan says with fear.

Cute Guy God looks unyielding, "Maybe, he'll be too busy looking for creative ways to ground you for mouthing off in French class."

Joan looks shocked, "Are you spying on me?"

"I'm omniscient Joan, comes with the job." God says smiling.


"Okay. So, you're God." Joan presumes.

"Yes." Cute Guy God replies.

" As in...God." Joan asks.

God nods, "Right."

"Old Testament, Tower of Babel, Burning Bush, Ten Commandments...God." Joan states.

God smiles, "I come off a little friendlier in the New Testament and the Koran but yeah, same God."

"And, I'm supposed to believe you...because?" Joan questions.

"Because you have a feeling." God replies.

"No, I don't." Joan says turning away.

"How about you believe me if I agree to over look that promise you didn't keep?" God asks.

Joan turns back, "What promise?"

"Let's see. That you would study hard, stop talking back, clean your room, and even go to church, if I recall, if I let your brother live." Cute Guy God replies.

"How did you know about that?" Joan asks with shock in her voice.

"Omniscient! Look it up." God says dryly.

Joan looks dazed, "So...you let my brother live, and now you're here to collect?"

"No. I don't bargain. That would be cruel." God grins as they start walking.

"Okay, so, let's say you're God." Joan says hypothetically.

"Thank you." God replies.

"I want to ask you some questions." Joan asks.

"No." God simply states.

"No?" Joan questions.

Again God smiles, "No. As a general rule, I ask the questions."

"Are you, are you being snippy with me? God is snippy." Joan states..

God shakes his head, "Let me explain something to you, Joan. It goes like this. I don't look like this, I don't look like anything you'd recognize. You can't see me. I don't sound like this, I don't sound like anything you'd recognize. You see, I'm beyond your experience. I take this form because you're comfortable with it, it makes sense to you. If I'm snippy with you it's because you understand snippy. Do ya get it? "

Joan looks at Him, confused, "Sort of."

"Good, cause I'm really not snippy. I've got a great personality. You'd like me." God asserts.

Joan looks nervous, "Uh, I'm not religious you know."

God sighs, "It's not about religion, Joan. It's about fulfilling your nature."

"Oh...uh, I definitely haven't done that." Joan says, relieved.

"Exactly." God states, smugly.

"Uh...um...well, let's say you're God." Joan says hesitantly.

In frustration, God shouts, "Joan, I am God!"

Joan, still not believing asks, "Okay, well let's see a miracle."

"Okay, How bout that?" Cute Guy God says pointing to a tree.

Joan gives God a strange look, "That's a tree."

God smiles, "Let's see you make one."

"So, do you just go around, appearing to people?" Joan asks.

"Um...a minor correction. I'm not appearing to you. You are seeing me." God states.

"Okay fine.... is it kinda weird that I have a...crush on you?" Joan asks.

God smiles, "I'm not gonna look like this the next time."

Joan looks at God, confused, "The next time?"

"I'm gonna be dropping in on you, Joan, now and then." God replies smugly.

"Why?" Joan asks.

"Lets just say I need you to do some favors." God smirks.

This memory is less painful for Joan and it reminds her that people have seen her with God. Some examples of this appear to her in a Flashback:

Joan is walking down the hall at school, and the two girls from her French class walk up to her. "Hey girl, okay, so who's the guy?" one of the girls asks.

Joan, confused, "What guy?"

The other girl speaks up, "I saw you talking to him after school."

The first girl then asks, "Is he from where you used to live? Cause he is definitely not from around here."

Joan, still confused, "Wait, you saw him?"

"Well, you were just standing out there." The girl spat.

"What did he look like?" Joan asks as she grabs the girl's arm.

The girl pulls back, "Take it easy."

The other girl looks at Joan questioningly, "You want to know what your own boyfriend looks like?"

" He's cute," the first girl said, "You hurt my arm."

Joan, eager to find out if they really saw Him asks, "Describe him."

The first girl says, "Brown hair."

"Corduroy Jacket," the second girl interjects.

The first girl smiles, "Orlando Bloomish..."

"And it looked like you too were having a fight," the second girl observes.

Joan smiles, "Oh my god. I knew it, you saw him, he is just a guy."

The first girl looks concerned, "Are you okay?"

Joan nods, "Yeah, I'm fine. He's not my boyfriend. He's some weirdo who started talking to me on the bus."

"So, are you going to go out with him?" the second girl asks.

Joan shakes her head, "No. I'm telling you, he's crazy. Thinks he's God."

The other girl laughs, "What else is new?"

This memory makes Joan laugh out loud as she does inventory in the back of the bookstore. As she writes, she begins to concede that many people have seen her with God—even Adam! Flashback:

During Joan and Luke's party, Adam has just left Joan to get some water. The second he is gone Cute Guy God comes over.

"Wanna dance?" God asks Joan.

Joan cringes, "Can I say no?"

God smiles, "Of course you can. Come on." The two start dancing, "So how did you like your party?"

Joan gives him a look, "I don't. What's the big idea?"

"The big idea is recreation. You know what that means?" God asks.

"Whatever," Joan unenthusiastically replies.

God shakes his head," Well, let's break the word down, shall we? Re-create. To create...again. Begin again. To start over. People need to do that. Work is fine, but... every now and then, you've gotta take a break and re-create. Adam is confused. "

Joan again give God a look, " Adam is always confused."

God smiles, "Ok. Well, you're introducing new levels of confusion."

"I'm not ready to couple," Joan blurts out.

Adam walks in and sees Joan smiling and Dancing with God. Of course he doesn't know that this is God so it hurts him. He turns around and leaves.

Joan realizes that God was there, the he is talking to her, that God exists and she is not crazy. Joan sighs with relief as she hears the front bell ring, indicating that a customer is waiting. Joan rushes to the front to find Old Woman God waiting at the counter for her.

Joan smiles, "Knew that I'd come around did ya?" she asks sarcastically.

God smiles, "You're finally picking up on that whole omniscient thing...excellent!"

Joan makes a bow and sets down her paperwork. "So, what's up?"

"I need you to go with Kevin to work tomorrow," God says flippantly as she browses some magazines.

Joan raises an eyebrow, "But I'll miss classes... Wow, God is giving me permission to ditch. This is awesome!"

God eyes Joan disapprovingly, "It's not the first time and nor will it be the last..."

Joan waves her hands, "Yada, yada, yada... Is that it?"

Old Lady God smiles, "Yep. Nice to have you back, Joan."

Joan beams, "Nice to be back."