A/N:  No shooting, please!!!  I suck so much, I know.  School is horrendous and I've reached a sort of stalemate in this story, trying to decide where it's to go.  I have some ideas, just have to see how it plays out.  Anyway, I'm sooooo sorry this is taking so long, as the year moves on and I have more time, it should be better.  I just started driver's ed last week *happy dance*  I should have my permit already, since my birthday is in June and all, but we'll disregard that.  Now, to get to the long awaited chapter 19.. I hope it isn't crap...Wow, yeah, I started this chapter a while ago.  I have finished driver's ed and should be going to get my permit some time this week.  This chapter gets kinda angry at the end, the next one will probably be insanely angsty.  And I promise again, no matter how long the updates take, I will NEVER abandon this story.  The song for this chapter is "Your Promise" by Mest.

Quidditch playa lover: Hi!! I hope you're having better luck with school than I am, I'm swamped!!  Damn Lucius, if only Draco had just Narcissa, the world would be much happier.

Claire: I know, I'm horrible!!  I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened, my mind didn't want to write.  Considering how I end this, the next one should come much quicker.  Now that Driver's Ed is over, I'll have an extra 3 hours working time each day.

Ms Padfoot:  Thanks!!  lol, such pleasant thoughts they have, hmm?  I've got some more Hermione in here.  I didn't start it off being such an angry chapter, but that's how it ends up.  Oh well, angst is good, right? hehe.

koolcat:  lol, thanks!!  A mental breakdown doesn't seem so far off, actually ;-)  Hehe, I'd love to have him yell that.  I'm going to see if it comes up at some point *evil grin*  Well, this isn't soon, but it is an update, so that makes it ok, right?  *backs away slowly*

hermionedastar: Thanks!!

Cinnamon Angel:  lol, aren't you happy to see my last chapter before cancellation?  *innocent smirk* 

Louise Luvgood: Thank you!  I'm glad you can relate to him, means I'm doing something right :-)  lol, I love giving Sevvy a heart.  Ahh, I hate Lucius with a passion!!!  Pansy too, as this chapter shows, lol.  Very true, a mangled Draco is a horrible thing, it's not fair.  Damn Lucius.

Kumiko *kaylin* Eharu: Thank you!!  Sorry about the long updates.

XxXEmeraldXxX: Yup, poor Draco :-\  Thank you for reviewing!!

Endril McMerlyn: Thank you very much!!  Sorry about the lacking updates, I'm determined to get out the next one quicker.

CyberDragon: Thanks!  I love angst.  Sorry about the POV, I get caught up in wanting everyone's mind shown.  I cut down on this chapter and will try to split them up better :-)  Thank you for the offer :-)

Jules37: Thank you!!  Writing the abuse gives me shivers, but I think it's important too.  My two favorite parts of this story are the Snape/Draco interaction and the Hermione/Draco.  H/Dr banter is so much fun to write.

Darcel: *hangs head* It's finally here.  I cannot believe I took over a month.  I'm so ashamed :-(

~Hermione's POV~

~*I'm looking for answers
To all the questions no one knows*~

He's okay.  He can walk and speak and breathe.  Even though I saw him return and was certain he would be taken care of, fear still tugged at me.  What if the damage was too great?  What if he never opened his eyes again?  And, damn it all, why do I care so much?  I was so nicely entrenched in my hatred of him.  It was simple, familiar.  Where did it go?

~*Bleeded and begged*~

Meanwhile, I'm stuck here feeling thrilled that he is all right.  I mean that quite literally.  Ever since I saw him on the way to the kitchens, my mood is considerably brighter.  My health has been restored, I guess it was one of those short-term bugs?  Harry and Ron are pretty baffled.  We're in Potions and I can feel their gazes burn. 

~*Asked you for nothing*~

Finally I turn to them, "Yes?"

Their eyes widen, but Ron speaks, "You've been so odd lately.  The other day you look like you're going to die and now you're almost deliriously happy".

"That's ridiculous", I brush it off, all the while knowing he is right.

~*But something showed*~

"Ron's right", Harry injects, "What has you so pleased?"

Oh nothing, just the fact that our enemy since first year wasn't killed by his demonic father.  Not the best choice, I think.  "I don't know.  Can't you just be happy with the fact I'm no longer ill?"

Ron opens his mouth to respond, but suddenly a glare overtakes his face.  I glance in that direction to see the source of his displeasure.  Uh oh.  I should've known. 

He opens his mouth again, but the attention is no longer focused on me, "It's just so great that King Malfoy is back", he says sarcastically.

Harry frowns, "It was so nice while he was gone.  It should be like that all the time".

"Maybe his father can send him to Drumstrang", Ron's eyes light with glee.

"Or just to a cave", Harry laughs.

I work to keep my anger contained.  They don't know what Draco goes through, can hardly be expected to.  Yet an overwhelming desire is eating away at me to stand up for the Slytherin.  Maybe my health isn't as good as I thought.

~*Your uneasy eyes, the sweat on your forehead*~

Seamus leans over, "I heard he went home for the weekend.  Not sure why, though".

"Isn't it obvious?  Lucius had to teach him some more dark curses.  True torture takes practice after all", Dean adds with exaggerated seriousness.

They all burst into laughter as the rest of the class files in.  Without consciously trying, I look over to Draco and he seems to be unaffected.  I'm not sure how much he could hear, but they weren't exactly being quiet.  Despite the nonchalant air, I can detect a stiffness to his frame.  He cares.

~*Everyone's pointing your nervousness out*~

The fact is a blow to my stomach.  It actually matters to him when this side of the room is laughing at his expense.  On top of everything else, how does this affect him?  Not only does his father have a particularly cruel mind, but basically the whole school hates him.  Not that it isn't justified at times, but still...

~*It's obvious now that you're scared of yourself*~

I'm brought back to my mind as Snape coughs very loudly to signal the end of the laughter.  Not immediate deduction of points?  God, when will things return to normal?

~*Nothing to keep them from knowing this now
There's nothing to keep them from knowing this now*~

~3rd Person~

Draco rolled his eyes as he thought, 'Well, gee, I wonder what those morons are laughing at.  Their subtlety amazes me.'

"As if they care that you know"

~*Promises, shattered pieces*~

'Oh, who asked you.  Damn, Snape didn't even take points away from them, what's his problem?'

"He might be wondering why you're in class, but that's just a thought..."

Draco had been in no mood to return to the dorms after leaving the kitchen.  After wandering aimlessly for a bit, he came to a conclusion: he was insanely bored.  With no solution in sight, he decided to go to his last class of the day... Potions.  If Snape had really thought Draco was going to stay put, his I.Q. equaled that of pumpkin juice.

~*Memories of nothing, cowardly
You'll face this all alone*~

Such kind thinking was interrupted by Snape's curt announcement that they would be working on a potion that would take away a person's voice.  It would be easier to just do it with a wand, but there were instances where one might become relieved of their wand and be happy to have some potion on hand.  All the classes had things like that, focused on some sort of defense measure.  With Voldemort's increasing power, it would be stupid not to. 

Speaking of stupid... Draco was waylaid by its essence on his way to get ingredients.

"Draco!" Pansy latched onto him.

He attempted to shake her off, but the bloody girl had a death grip, "What do you want?"

~*You're finding your truths
Are nothing but lies*~

"I have to have a reason to talk to you?" She smirked.

"Yes, so that when it's fulfilled, you can leave".

Pansy laughed loudly, "Don't worry Dray, I would never leave you".

"What a frightening thought", he muttered.  He continued to the ingredients, half dragging Pansy behind him.  When he finally arrived, Harry, Ron, and Hermione where their gathering supplies.  'Freaking wonderful', was his immediate reaction.

The two boys glared at him while Hermione did her best to avoid his gaze.  Pansy sniffed at them and spoke loudly to Draco, "It seems you can't step anywhere in this school without encountering trash".

"So says the slut of Slytherin".

It took Hermione a moment to realize why they all were looking at her.  Then came the light bulb... she had said it out loud.  This should be interesting...

"What did you call me?!" Pansy's voice became even more high pitched in her shock.

Harry and Ron were immersed in laughter and Draco was trying not to do the same.  Hermione had said what everyone else wanted to.

Shaking with indignation, the alleged slut turned to Draco, "Aren't you going to say anything?" When he looked at her blankly, she added, "Defend my honor!"

'What honor?' was his first question, but he managed to keep that thought in his head. 

~*Still no one knows*~

Before he could answer the ridiculous demand, Ron sneered, "Yeah, Malfoy, defend your girlfriend".

The title almost made him throw up all of Dobby's offerings, "Go to hell, Weasley".

"Original.  Why didn't you just stay gone?"

"Finally saying it to my face, are you?  Amazing, poor boy over there actually has balls".  Harry stepped forward and Draco rolled his eyes, "Go ahead, play the hero.  No scene would be complete without St. Potter".

~*You see yourself run, but I see you crawling
To face the truth*~

"Oh yeah, I'd much rather be a brainless, spoiled little rich boy".

"Enough!" Hermione, who'd been silent since the slut comment, yelled.

~*You're hesitant now*~

"Is there a problem?" They all turned to find Snape glaring at them through slits.  Without waiting for an answer, he continued, "I suggest you begin work on your potions.  Last one done gets the privilege of testing Longbottom's."

None of them feeling like suffering that day, the Slytherins and Gryffindors parted company. 

"You were just wonderful", Pansy cooed as they reached Draco's table. 

~*Your heart must be burning*~

Patience wearing away at an alarming rate, he finally yanked his arm away and stared right into her eyes, "Pansy, listen carefully", she nodded eagerly, obviously not very astute, "Go jump on the Whomping Willow".  Draco began his potion, waiting for the girl to understand. 

After a couple moments, he heard a foot stamp and Pansy shriek, "Brute!" before she stalked away.

'Finally', he sighed, 'Some peace'.

~*Ripping and tearing your insides are numb*~

Her anger slowing her progress significantly, Pansy ended up being the one on whom Neville's potion was tested.  Luckily for her, and quite inexplicably, it only made the oddest green spots appear all over.  While greatly amusing to all watching, it didn't seem to have any unhealthy side effects. 

Amid immense laughter, the class filed out.  Draco was just making it out when he heard Snape speak, "Should I presume you're sleepwalking?"

'So close' Draco thought wistfully before turning, "Presume whatever you wish".

~*Restless and weak*~

"It is very simple, Draco", Severus replied calmly, "Either you follow our directions for recovery, or you don't go anymore".

He narrowed his eyes, "I have to go, Dumbledore said..."

"The Headmaster said it would help our cause the most if it was not revealed that we knew Lucius' plans.  If you are seriously in jeopardy, he is going to put a stop to the whole thing".

~*Time to start over*~

Draco glared at his teacher for a few tense minutes before putting down his books and folding his arms defiantly, "You owe me".

"Excuse me?" Severus had no idea what he could possibly mean.

"You owe me.  You had your whole mini therapy session and made me talk.  Now the least you can do is shut up and let me feel half normal!"

"You..."

"Now", Draco cut him off, "I'm leaving.  I'm going to have a couple bloody hours where I don't have to focus on how fucked up everything is.  I'll see you at detention".  The door slammed behind him.

~*Nothing to keep them from emptiness now
There's nothing to keep them from emptiness now*~

Severus was left staring at the books Draco had left behind.  He soon discovered he was speechless.

"Who would've thought?" His voice inquired.

The oh so intimidating Potions master just shook his head.

~*Promises, shattered pieces*~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

~*Memories of nothing, cowardly
You'll face this all alone*~

As it turned out, Draco was wrong.  He wasn't able to have his 'normal' time.  In yelling at Snape about it, he'd firmly implanted it in his mind.  Dammit, he just couldn't get a break.  Worse, he felt the unpleasant beginnings of an attack. 

~*You know how this will end*~

It caught him as he was on a desperate walk to clear his head a little before detention.  Alone in the corridor, he leaned on the wall and tried to fight it off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~'

Hermione was explaining some Transfiguration homework to Ron and Harry when her stomach suddenly clenched.  She wasn't exactly in pain, just very uncomfortable.  It felt as if something was extremely wrong.  All of it left Hermione in a state of confusion.  What was she suddenly so uneasy about?  She noticed it was about time for her detention, but they never made her that nervous.  The day had been rather eventful, but didn't warrant such a reaction.  Was her illness returning?

~*'Cause the pain inside your head
Is cutting yourself thin*~

Answers would have to wait until after detention.  Shrugging off concerns about her sudden pale complexion, Hermione hurried to the Potion's classroom.  A part of her was thrilled the detentions were almost over: freedom!!!  But a tiny percent was panicked at it... what excuse would she use to talk to Draco now?  For all the intelligence she had, she could find no solution.  The best she had so far was to get them both in trouble and hope for joint detentions again.  You know it's bad when that's plan A. 

~*Nothing to do now*~

She found the room occupied only by Snape.  She brushed away the tinge of fear, Draco would be there in a few minutes.  Those minutes passed and still no blonde haired Slytherin.

But he said he would be there.  And Snape looked like he was expecting him as well.  He was just going to be late, that's all...

~*When you're buried underground*~

Did Lucius come and kidnap him?  Hermione shook her head, now was not the time to become irrational.  There was plenty of time for that after Draco got there. 

The clenching intensified... where the hell was he?

~*Your promise haunts you now*~

A/N:  Haha!  Cliffie!  Or at least the closest I've ever come to one.  In case it wasn't glaringly obvious, I despise Pansy.  The next chapter will most likely be angst filled, so be prepared.  It should be longer too (I know this is short)  As a hint, it'll probably open with some horrible, full blown memory Draco's enduring.  See what happens when he exerts himself?  *sigh* The one time Sevvy is right... hehe.  Okay, now everyone, I know you all want to shoot me, but imagine the review button is the target and click click click!!! :-)