A/N Here I am!! And sooner than before!!! lol, please enjoy, it's kind of weird, but I needed to get the story moving. I explain more in an A/N at the end. Thanks everyone for continuing to read!! The song is "Do What I Have To" by Sarah McLachlan.
Chelsea: Here it is, I hope you like it :)
Katieshaz: Thank you!!! I hope you like this one too.
Kajsa: Awww, you're so nice, thank you!! Your spelling was fine, don't worry :) Sweden? Awesome.
Jadyn Potter: Hiiii, lol, here I am again, only about a week later. Pretty good, huh? hehe. I promise to have a flashback coming soon, I really like writing them too. Do you have a preference for what it should be about? The next chapter is the training session, so I could work pretty much anything in. I could never abandon this fic, no matter what, it's my baby!!
Cho Chang- Emotional Dark Hole: LoL, I can't really see that either. As much as Dray may turn from the Dark in this fic, he's still a Slytherin :)
Claire: Hiii!!*hug* Here's a new chapter, all nice and not 5 million months later, lol. I know, our dear Sevvy has to do so much. I hate Lucius. I think I'm going to have an upcoming chapter in his POV again, and he'll be with Voldie and Voldie will be mad at him, muahahah..
BlackKat99: Hey. lol, you were right that first time, Lucius is a bastard. I know, I was wondering what to have them do, but figured even Lucius wouldn't be dumb enough to beat Draco when he had to go to a detention right afterwards. Thanks :) LoL, I hope this makes you happy as well, it's all Hermione/Draco-ness, hehe.
Elle Granger: Hey!!! I'm gonna email you soon but I can say hi to you here too, lol. Haha, I know, he upsets me too sometimes and I'm the one writing it. Well then you might have a few problems with the opening of this chapter...hehe... but it gets better as you read on, I promise! lol. Enjoy :-)
Cinnamon Angel: Hey hun!!! I know, Lucius is an asshole. I can't wait till I really get to hurt him in this fic. O that will be a bright, bright day *evil grin* LoL, you and Elle will be yelling at the beginning of this, but Hermione sees the light!! Yeah, I did have some family stuff, and one of my asshole uncles didn't take his freaking meds and was an even bigger asshole. O well, my family never has good holidays, it's tradition *rolls eyes* I hope yours was better. He beat me twice too, the jerk! *pout* I won once, but that didn't really do much, lol. I trust you, hun, I'm just not really sure what to say, it's all feelings, you know what I mean? But I sent you an email explaining my good mood as of today. I think I made a breakthrough in the Meg department. I kinda feel like she's with me, if that makes sense. Anyway, I love you!!!!!!! Talk to you tomorrow (I WILL be on!!).
Hermione heard the door open and took a calming breath. She could get through this detention without blowing up at Draco, she knew she could. Just because she started believe.... what? That he was human? That they could actually have a conversation? It was ridiculous that she was letting this bother her. It was just Malfoy, just a Slytherin. What did she care about his friendship? He was nothing, absolutely nothing...Then why was she staring at him with eyes angrier than ever before?
~*What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage*~
"You're going to break those beakers", Draco said, unable to think of anything else.
Hermione looked down at the beakers being discussed, they did look like they were about to shatter. She forced herself to loosen her grip. It wasn't their fault that Draco was an asshole. 'No', she corrected herself internally, 'Malfoy, not Draco. Not anymore'.
~*created you a monster*~
"Do you want some help?" He was terrified and couldn't quite figure out why. Did her opinion really matter to him that much?
"I can manage on my own", she replied coldly, "I'm sure you can find something to do on your own".
Dammit. Draco wasn't sure what to do. He knew the rational thing would be to do as she said. Then after tonight they wouldn't have to be alone again. Ever. But he'd grown so used to having someone who didn't hate him... "Hermione".
~*broken by the rules of love*~
Her head shot up and she couldn't stop the words that poured out, "No, not Hermione. I'm Granger, remember?? I'm part of the 'three musketeers', I'm a know it all, I'm a mudblood! Or have you suddenly forgotten?"
"Don't call yourself that—" Draco started, not really knowing where he was going with it.
"Why the hell not?!" Hermione interrupted, "You didn't seem to have a problem with it earlier. Oh no, wait, I get it", she coated her words with sarcasm, "You can be nice to me, just not let anyone see it, right? Of course, how could I have been so stupid? As if the great Malfoy himself could lower himself in such a way in public! Forgive me, your majesty". Even she didn't know she had that much anger built inside. She pushed away the nagging voice reminding her that she had promised to befriend him. It was dumb to think that would ever work.
The Slytherin felt defensive anger rising up in himself, "If you had just left when I said to..."
~*and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do*~
"Oh yes, if I had just listened to you", she interrupted again, "Because you always have the best ideas".
"Let me finish!" Draco snapped, "If you had just left when I said to then I wouldn't've had to prove anything to Dante!"
"What the hell do you have to prove to him?! That you're a jackass? Well congratulations, you did quite a good job of it!"
He brought his fist down on a table, hard, "Why did I think you would understand? Everything's so easy for you!"
"Yeah", she rolled her eyes, "Everything's bloody perfect. After all, who wouldn't want to be stuck being hurt by a guy they're supposed to hate?"
~*and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do*~
Her words strangled the air between them. Hermione couldn't believe she had admitted it, and he couldn't believe she cared enough to be hurt. Desperate to breathe, Hermione started towards the door.
"I need to go".
"Wait", Draco put out an arm to stop her.
"Why?" She wouldn't look at him, "So you can wring a few more secrets out of me?"
"Hermione, you don't...", He couldn't figure out how to put it, "There are a lot of things you don't know about all this. I had to make Dante believe nothing had changed".
~*and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go*~
Her eyes still wouldn't meet his, "And they have? Let's be realistic here, anything less than hatred between us just isn't going to cut it. After tonight, we'll be free of each other, so just let it go".
Draco knew he had to tell her what he had discovered, "No, we won't be. At least, you won't be free from me. The nightmares, the sickness... you were right, it was my fault".
That got her gaze, "What do you mean?"
"I thought you were a genius", He smiled weakly, "Put two and two together, Hermione, I get a panic attack and you feel the effects as well? Does that seem normal to you?"
~*every moment marked
with apparitions of your soul*~
"But... Saturday, the nightmare on Saturday, how could that...", Images of an unconscious Draco came to mind, "Oh god", she practically fell as she sat down on a nearby stool, "It was you. The nightmares, the screaming.. oh god".
He looked at her oddly, "What do you mean? What do you know about Saturday?"
"I saw you", she answered without thinking, still so caught up in what she just discovered, "When you came back, I saw you. Snape and Dumbledore were at the door, and Snape left and came back with you and...", Hermione trailed off as she realized what she was unveiling.
Draco, for his part, was pretty shocked, "You spied?"
~*I'm ever swiftly moving
trying to escape this desire*~
"Only a little", she hedged, "I was out of my room, couldn't sleep, and I heard something..."
"Bull".
She looked at him, irritated that she was going to have to tell him, "Fine. I happened to overhear you and Snape one night after detention. I felt that there was something I was missing, so I just stayed for a couple minutes. What I heard didn't really make any sense. Something about not letting some mysterious "him" win. The next day you weren't at detention and I felt really ill, then had this horrible nightmares", Hermione started remembering them and shivered, "The worst one hurt so much, everything was so confusing, but someone laughed, this horrible, inhumane laugh. I decided to borrow Harry's cloak and watch the doors that night because Snape said you would be returning", remembering the lie to her friend, she blushed a little, "I,erm, told him I had to study in the restricted section of the library. I got worse, physically, Snape even offered to let me out of detention. So, anyway, that night I watched... I saw Snape come in with you floating next to him", her voice became tighter, "I saw your face". She stopped there, no need to tell of Dobby's part in it all if not necessary.
~*the yearning to be near you*~
Draco had been listening in rapt silence. When she mentioned the laughter, his stomach clenched, knowing it was Lucius'. His eyes widened when she said she lied to her friend, and even more at the news of Snape offering compassion. Finally, he looked at the wall while she spoke of seeing him that horrible night.
"So you... you felt it?" His voice was choked a little.
"Some", she replied softly, "The more I saw, the more I felt".
"I'm sorry".
~*I do what I have to do*~
Hermione's eyebrows raised, an apology from Draco? That was something new. She couldn't let him, though..Not for what she was feeling...
"Don't be. This isn't your fault".
He looked down at her and she was struck by how lost he looked, "How did it happen?"
"I couldn't even begin to guess. I'll start looking up these kind of connections immediately, the library should have something...", she heard a low chuckle, "What?"
~*the yearning to be near you*~
"Nothing, that's just so... you. Have a mystery? Look to the books", He smiled.
She shifted on the stool, "Well, where else would we find the answer?" Draco shook his head, "Exactly". Neither spoke for a moment. Then he heard Hermione's tentative voice...
"So, the Dante thing... does it have to do with... with how I saw you?"
Draco nodded and chose his words carefully, "I have an image to maintain. Not for ego or anything, it just has to be done. I'm supposed to hate all 'inferior' wizards. And I'm supposed to be Harry's mortal enemy. If it were to be spread around that I was not doing what I was supposed to..."
~*I do what I have to do
but I have the sense to recognize*~
Hermione only briefly reflected on the fact that he called her friend "Harry" before catching on to what her companion said, "Then you would come home like you did before", she finished for him. Imagining that happening again, she bit her lip.
Draco nodded again and stared at his hands, wondering where she'd go from there.
"But", she thought of something, "What was the reason for last time then? You weren't acting really un-Slytherinish. Snape said you had something to attend to at your house".
~*that I don't know how
to let you go*~
"There are other things that... upset the balance at the manor".
Master Lucius was mean to Master Draco! Dobby's words played through Hermione's mind, "Lucius... The panic attacks... The Cruciatus". Her body started to tremble as she realized that, through her connection with Draco, she had felt part of the Unforgivable.
Draco realized it at the same moment as her and slumped onto a stool. Great, now he was hurting yet another person. "Hermione, I'm..."
But she wasn't listening to him, "I know Dobby said he did, but I don't know if I really believed it, I mean who would?" She looked to him, as if for an answer.
~*I don't know how
to let you go*~
"Dobby?"
"Yes, Dobby", Hermione waved a hand impatiently, "I went to him the day after I saw you and asked about your life at the manor", when he opened his mouth to object, she continued, "Yes yes, I know, I'm horribly nosy and it was none of my business. But I had just seen you near death, I needed a few answers".
"I see", Draco didn't know what to make of all of it. He wanted to be angry at her for poking into his life, but he wasn't sure anyone, besides Snape, had put so much energy into looking out for him before.
~*a glowing ember*~
Hermione was sure there was a lot she still didn't know, all the pieces weren't fitting together yet. Hell, she didn't even know why he had detention yet. But her head was already spinning, and the information she was trying to process was hard enough on its own. She wasn't sure she could take anymore. Also, she felt she'd pushed Draco enough. There would be time to find out more later. This might be the last night of detention, but she wasn't letting it go. Not after all they'd just uncovered. Hell no.
~*burning hot*~
"So, where does this leave us? The detentions end tonight..." She stated the obvious.
"Us?" He looked at her oddly.
"Yes, us. I may not know all of this yet, but trust me, you will tell me soon. I have some kind of freaking bond with you. And if I'm going to be feeling your pain then, dammit, you're going to keep me clued in on things".
~*burning slow*~
Draco raised a blonde eyebrow, "You want to stay in? This isn't exactly an ideal situation".
"Yeah, well, life isn't exactly 'ideal' in case you haven't noticed", she quieted her voice, "I want to help".
"Why? You don't even like me" He sounded so confused.
"I can't say I'm your biggest fan, no", she smiled a little, "But I can't just sit here and watch this happen".
He was exasperated, "I just don't understand how you can want to help someone you barely know, who means nothing to you".
~*deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you*~
"I know you don't", she sighed softly, "But let's face it, I'm already involved. We might as well make the best of it".
Draco stared at her closely, "I don't want pity".
She rolled her eyes, "I'm not pitying you, you moron. You know, there's a difference between sympathy and pity".
"Not that I can see".
"Hence why you're the moron and I'm the brains", she smirked.
"This is starting off nicely. There's nothing I can say to discourage you?" Try as he might, Draco just couldn't muster up too much anger that she was forcing herself into the situation. Normally, he hated to have anyone try to fix things for him. But he was just so tired of being alone. And she was calling him Draco again...
"Afraid not".
"Don't tell your little boyfriends".
She glared, "I won't".
"And there may be more scenes like today happening".
~*I know I can't be with you*~
"I know".
"And you'll have to deal with Snape, since he has decided to take over my life as well".
"Yup".
"And if you do find out all the details, you may wish you never found them out".
"Uh huh".
"And—"
"Draco!" Hermione broke in, laughing, "I get the point, ok? It's going to be a long, torturous journey that I'm going to pray I had never taken part in, right?" He nodded, "Good, we have that settled, will you let it go now?"
~*I do what I have to do*~
"I just don't think you understand exactly what you're jumping into here. I mean, I'm the freaking Prince of Slytherin, you HATE me!" He had to be sure she was ready for this.
"I don't hate you... not anymore, anyway".
"Fine, but I reserve the right to throw you out of this at any moment I please, got it?"
"Yeah, whatever", she put out her hand.
"I'm going to regret this", he muttered as he shook her hand.
~*I know I can't be with you*~
"No you won't. Now, we should do some sort of work before Snape returns. I doubt he's going to be in a very good mood, not that that's new".
"Yeah", Draco mused, "Especially with my father visiting".
"What?" Hermione stilled as she rose from the stool, "Lucius is here??"
"Not anymore..."
"All this time we've been screaming at each other and not once do you mention he's here??"
~*I do what I have to do*~
"Erm.."
"What happened?"
"We just spoke".
"About...?"
He stared at her, "You really are prying, did you know that?"
~*and I have sense to recognize but*~
"I prefer 'curious', now answer the question".
He sighed, "We talked about last weekend and how I was going to be a good little deatheater from now on".
Hermione watched him for a moment, then decided he was telling the truth, "Ok, good. Now let's clean".
Draco stood up, "You are SO bossy".
"Says the Prince himself..."
And so the night wore on. Each tried to ignore the tension that they both felt, knowing that from thereon things were going to get very, very complicated.
~*I don't know how to let you go*~
A/N: Ok, before I get a bunch of reviews about OCC-ness, yeah I know Draco was pretty soft this chapter. But, for gods sake, the kid just had to insult a girl he's trying not to like, then come face to face with his father for the first time after the guy almost beat him to death. I think this encourages a bit of a breakdown in walls. As for Hermione, she's really, really glad that Draco isn't an asshole, simply put. Don't worry, things won't be anything near smooth from now on, I just wanted a breakthrough chapter. This story has to get moving. Anyway, now that I'm done defending myself against something that hasn't happened yet, please review!!! I love reviews!!!! So does Bud, my leprochaun!!!