*ducks onslaught from reviewers* I know, I know, I'm evil, making you wait so long for this chappie...I've just been so busy w/ horse shows and exams and...I'm probably boring all of you, so let me start this chappie!
Disclaimer: Do I even need to do this anymore? NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!
Chapter 5-Shattered Illusions
Lily spent a few happy months enjoying her new life: she had great friends, pleasant teachers, a caring boyfriend...the only quirks were those annoying Marauders, who had begun to prank her too. However, this was only a minor inconvenience.
"Aaahh..." Lily sighed as she rolled out of bed, and froze as her feet were inches from the floor. Looking up, she saw a large bucket, suspended above her bed, obviously triggered to fall once she stood up. *How juvenile...* she thought mildly, as she vanished the bucket with a simple spell. Their pranks ceased to annoy her anymore. Taking a quick check of her watch (It was 5:00 AM), she headed out to the Quidditch Pitch for her daily run and exercises.
As she sprinted around it, her owl drifted down from the owlery, bearing some kind of package. Lily stopped momentarily, and allowed Émi to land. "Hey girl," she said lovingly, scratching her under the beak, "Whatcha got for me?" Émi hooted softly, and dropped the package on the ground. Lily bent to pick it up, and unwrapping it, gasped. It was a gorgeous necklace of pearls, inlaid on silver strips, with one black opal in the middle that sparkled with rainbow fire. She tore apart the wrappings, searching for a note, and found one:
Dearest,
I thought this would suit you. Meet me tonight at the Astronomy Tower.
Lucius
"Oh, Émi, how sweet!" she gasped. *I probably should keep it in my room for now.* she thought sensibly, and wrapping the necklace back up, gave it to her owl. "Put this in my room for me, Émi, kay?" The black owl merely blinked her emerald eyes and took flight up to the Gryffindor tower. Lily shook her head, a smile on her face, and continued her run.
After she stopped, she began one of the strike sequences Professor Aquila had taught her a month ago. Lily was now very advanced in the martial arts, especially karate and Tae Kwon Do, and had progressed to sparring with the Professor herself. Surprisingly, she had caught on quickly and was now learning the exact art of the sword kata, which, as the Professor said, was fairly useless but aided her movement for any kind of combat. Taking out her wooden practice sword, she began a fairly easy pattern dance.
* * *
James, Sirius and Peter had been out all night following Remus in their Animagus forms, which they had learned only that year. The other three had gone right to sleep, but for some reason, James had been unable to. Peering out the window at the gathering dawn, he noticed a familiar redhead down at the Quidditch pitch, seemingly fighting an enemy. As Lily kicked, punched and jumped far below, James began to reason with himself. *I should go down there, Lily wouldn't fight unless she needed to.* he thought, but quickly shook his head. *What am I thinking, it's Evans the slut, always hanging off that slimeball Malfoy.* He watched her take out what looked like a wooden stick, and began to thrust and stab with it, again as if fighting an imaginary enemy. *Come on, Potter, you have better things to do than watch girls play with sticks.* he chided himself. Still, he continued to watch her, a kind of silent guardian, though he would never admit it to himself.
* * *
Lily stirred her cauldron in Potions, being careful to observe the color. Once it turned the proper shade of emerald green, she added the leech juice, which turned the mixture clear. She set her spoon down and sighed, as a pair of arms encircled her waist.
"Good afternoon, darling. Did you get my present this morning?" Lucius asked coolly, as she leaned back and snuggled into his chest.
"I did, it's gorgeous!" she exclaimed. He smiled slightly.
"I expect to see you in the Astronomy tower this evening." he said, a note of command in his voice. Lily shrugged, ignoring his tone of voice.*Lucius is always like that.* she thought, even though a niggling corner of her mind told her to be careful.
"Sure, why not." Noticing that Professor Halloway was looking their direction, she quickly turned back to her cauldron as Lucius did the same. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sirius make a gagging motion, and the other boys chuckled. *Stupid assholes, all they want in a girl is a nice body and an IQ of zero.* she thought angrily as she bottled her Wakefullness potion and brought it up to the front.
"Thank you, miss Evans. This will be of great use in the hospital wing. There is no need to test yours, I am sure you have done it...perfectly." Professor Halloway said with a smirk and just the faintest hint of irony. Lily blushed. *Why does he always do that, compliment me like it's an insult?* she thought as she made her way back to her seat. As she passed the Marauders, Peter whistled softly and the other boys grinned.
"Like the new 'do, Evans." James whispered as she walked by, and she resisted the urge to look in a mirror. *Stay calm, don't explode, you can kill them later...* she thought, trying to stay calm though her vision had gone red. Once seated, she cautiously looked at a lock of her hair and almost shrieked out loud.
Her hair, her gorgeous, wavy, russet hair had been turned bright neon green, with glowing silver streaks. As she got angrier and angrier, all she could see was James' smirking face. *That...that...* she thought angrily, unable to have a coherent thought. Finally, her restraint snapped, she got up and stalked over to the group of snickering boys.
"Why, thank you boys, green has always been a good color for me." she said sweetly, with no hint of malice. The triumphant smile on the boys' face began to fade. "However, black and brown...definately not right for you." Faking a frown of concentration, she whispered the incantation under her breath, and made only the tiniest flick with her wand, both of which were practically imperceptible. Almost laughing out loud at the results, she smiled coquettishly, flipped her hair, and strutted back to her seat as the bell rang. Gathering up her books, she watched the boys' faces contort as she tried to stifle laughter.
Sirius put up a shaking hand to his now-yellow, curly hair which had been styled in two pigtails on the sides of his head. James was staring at himself in a mirror, a hesitant hand touching the neon pink locks that were twisted into two Pippi Longstocking-type braids. Remus tried to get through the door and failed when his bright purple mohawk blocked the doorframe. Finally, Peter's curly blue afro was so big it added almost a foot to his height. The class roared with laughter, and Lily quickly changed her hair back to it's original color in the confusion.
"So right for you boys, I think you should keep it that way!" Lily called, then brought her hand to her mouth in fake surprise. "Oops, I forgot, it lasts for a week! Ta-ta for now!" she walked confidently from the room, a huge smile on her face. Students were looking confused in the hall: who should they support, the popular Lily Evans or the also popular Marauders? Some smiled and shouted support, others glared, but most remained neutral. As Lily went to dinner, she was jubilant inside. *I did it! I did it! I finally got back at them for all the stuff they did to me!*
* * *
"Tonight, miss Evans, we will spar for half an hour, we will discuss what you can improve on, and then you will learn a new pattern dance for sword." said Professor Aquila as the two of them stood in their practice room. Lily nodded and got into position. Without warning, the professor lunged at Lily, who feinted away, then punched quickly with her right. The professor caught her fist and forced it backwards, bringing tears to Lily's eyes. Shaking her head, she stomped hard on Aquila's instep, forcing her to release Lily's fist. The professor recovered quickly and swept Lily to the ground with a stroke of her powerful legs. Lily smirked inwardly. *Now, time to put my new move into action.* Lily simply lay there, which startled the professor, who paused. That pause turned out to be a grave mistake. Lily flipped herself forward, landing a solid kick to the older woman's abdomen in the process. Aquila made no sound as she fell on the ground, and Lily panicked. *Omigod, omigod, I'm not supposed to kill the teacher!* she thought frantically as she ran over to where the professor lay.
"Professor, professor, are you all right?" she asked fearfully. The other woman did not even open her eyes as she did another leg sweep and brought Lily to the floor once more. *Aw, crap! Tricked again!* Lily sighed.
Professor Aquila stood up. Lily followed suit, a little nervously. "Well done, miss Evans." was all the woman needed to say, and Lily glowed with pride. "Now, the sword kata." Walking over to the weapons rack, she selected a metal practice blade at random and brought it to Lily. "This will replace the wooden sword, you are ready to move on." Lily nodded, and focused on mirroring her body exactly the way the professor's moved as she learned a new, more complicated pattern dance. Gradually, she speeded up, until she became a blur, the blade a mere flash of metal. This is where Lily's strength lay, her ability to learn exercises such as pattern dances so quickly. With a final spin, Lily thrust, blocked and sheathed her sword, all in one easy movement. Aquila nodded her approval.
"Well done, miss Evans. That will be all for this evening." Lily smiled and turned to go when the note from Lucius fell out of her pocket. Professor Aquila read it swiftly, then looked questioningly at Lily. *Here we go, the big lecture...* thought Lily resignedly, but the woman surprised her completely.
"Be careful, figlia del mio cuore. Your skills may come in handy this evening." Aquila hugged her fiercely, and Lily, though slightly shocked, hugged back.
"Thank you, Professor, for all you have taught me." Lily said sincerely. *I highly doubt I'll ever need to use them, though...* she thought wryly as she rushed from the room, anxious to return to her dorm and prepare for her date.
* * *
"Omigod, Michy, help me, I have no idea what to wear!" wailed Lily as she stared hopelessly at her closet. Michelle, the dorm's unofficial clothes expert, walked over.
"Hmmm, nothing too expecting, but definitely not too casual either...aah!" Michelle muttered as she pulled a black skirt and a green top of some shimmery fabric from her own closet. Lily hurriedly pulled them on, dragged a brush through her hair and looked in the mirror.
"Hair?" she heard Michelle ask Alicia.
"Down, definitely. Some black eyeliner, and a little green eyeshadow...that should be enough." Alicia brushed the said items over her face and turned her back to face the mirror.
"Something's missing..." said Ally, pursing her lips. Alicia and Michelle both shrugged, but Lily had an idea.
*He'd want me to wear it anyway...* she justified to herself as she lifted the magnificent pearl necklace from it's wrapping. Fastening it carefully, she turned back to her roommates. Alicia gasped, Michelle nodded and Ally had an expression on her face that Lily could not read.
"Go get him, honey." said Michelle with a smile on her face as Lily slipped on a pair of black stilettos, borrowed from Ally. She smiled nervously at her friends before heading out the door.
Walking down the common room stairs, she noticed some students still in the common room at this late hour. Pausing, she listened more closely.
"...never going to come out! I must have washed my hair fifty times and it's still yellow and in pigtails!" growled a voice. *That must be Sirius!* she thought suddenly as she tried to stifle her giggles.
"Same with me, Siri. I had to bend over in the shower because my mohawk is so tall." said another, slightly quieter voice that Lily quickly identified as Remus.
"How'd she do it, though? I mean, I didn't see her wand anywhere, all she did was frown!" squeaked yet another, and Lily winced at the sound of Peter's voice.
"I dunno, guys, we'd better start looking for a counter-curse or something...we can't just stay like this for a week." said a gloomy voice, whom Lily assumed it was James. *Time to make my entrance, I guess...* she thought wickedly, and stepped into the light of the common room. The four boys recoiled immediately.
"Evans." growled Sirius in recognition, and Lily just smirked.
"Like your new do's, boys?" she said, pretending to examine her nails.
"Yeah, we just love them." said Peter sarcastically. Lily's head snapped up.
"Really? Well, I can extend the charm for the next three weeks, if you want." she suggested wickedly, causing the other three boys to glare at Peter. "Anyways, I'm late by now, so bye!" she turned and sauntered towards the portrait hole, hips swaying in that dangerously seductive manner she had, that she didn't even know she posessed.
"Late for what?" called James' voice.
"Wouldn't you like to know." Lily replied, and left without another word.
* * *
"Ah, Lily, darling. You look gorgeous." said Lucius admiringly as she arrived at the Astronomy Tower. Lily simply gave a half-smile and leaned in for a kiss, which Lucius eagerly returned. They went on like this for quite a while, until things got slightly out of hand.
Lily was on the ground, with Lucius on top. They continued to snog, but Lily became aware of a hand slowly moving on her chest, and she broke the kiss very suddenly.
"Something wrong, Lily, my pet?" purred Lucius, his hand continuing it's motion. Before she knew it, those old feelings she had buried came rushing out into the open.
fearfearfear TRAPPED get away! Pryingfingersirongrip TRAPPED fearfear ANGER rageangerfear
"Lucius..." breathed Lily, trying desperately to clear her mind, her breath coming in quick gasps. "Take your hand off me." The hand merely tightened.
"Lily, you are mine. I will have you, all of you, tonight. There is no use in struggling, darling. Just relax, you may even enjoy." he purred, his voice hardening. She looked into his eyes and saw only pure cruelty and anger.
"Lucius...GET THE HELL OFF ME!" she screamed, and he promptly slapped her across the face. It was then her defensive instincts, so carefully drilled into her by Professor Aquila, came into play.
His hand, still raised, proved his undoing as she bucked her hips and promptly catapulted him into the wall. Scrambling upright, she searched frantically for her wand as he stumbled upright as well.
"You have made me very, very angry Lily." he growled, blood streaming from a cut near his eyebrow. "I did take the precaution, however, of removing your wand. Now, you have no choice but to suffer the consequences of disobeying." He held it up in front of her, sneering evilly. Taking advantage of his preoccupation, she whirled and fled off into the darkness.
She had no idea where she ended up. All she knew, pressed up against a cold stone wall, was that she was alone. Or so she thought.
"Lily, my pet." she heard his voice in the darkness somewhere nearby. "I will find you, you know. There is a reason I gave you that necklace, there is a tracking spell imbedded in it. I know you can hear me, darling, so why not give up and make it easier for yourself." Lily looked, horrified, at the beautiful necklace, and without a second thought undid the clasp and flung it as far away from herself as she could. *Now to hope he won't find me and I can somehow sneak back to the Tower...* she thought, but did not get any farther.
A light illuminated the corridor, and there was Lucius, trapping her in what she realized was a dead end.
"Lily, darling, you should have just co-operated, that's what all the other girls have done." he said, and Lily shook her head.
"Others, Lucius? Other helpless victims? Does it make you feel good, raping defenseless girls?" she taunted. He colored slightly, and his voice became toneless and hard.
"That is none of your concern. You are the one I have chosen, and You. Will. Submit." he growled, stepping towards her. In a single move, Lily snapped the straps of her heels and flung them off. Stepping back, she moved away from him, making him think he had the upper hand. *Oh, you bastard. You sick, sick bastard!* her mind screamed, and that decided her.
"Like hell I will." she growled, and lunged.
"Wha..?" he started, but that was all he got out before she was on him. She kneed him in the groin and he blanched and fell to the floor. *Now run, Lily, run!* screamed her mind, but she ignored it. She kicked him hard, and he flew to the other end of the hall, where he landed with a groan.
"Come on, get up, Malfoy." she taunted, and he managed to get to his feet. His face contorted in a snarl, he whipped out his wand.
"Petrificus Totalus!" he yelled, and Lily easily dodged the speeding jet of blue light. She simply stood there, dodging every spell he sent at her.
"Duelling too hard for you, Malfoy?" she taunted, and his eyes narrowed and he pointed his wand at her.
"Crucio!" he whispered, and Lily tried to dodge. Somehow, the spell followed her and his her squarely in the stomach. Lily immediately collapsed, every nerve ending screaming pain. "You stupid Mudblood whore." he said, smiling at her agony. "You were born to serve the purebloods, resisting is pointless, darling. You will submit or die." Those words came to Lily in a haze of red, but it was enough. Her eyes flashed inhumanly green, and before Malfoy could react, she flew up and punched him squarely in the nose, hearing the crack of breaking bone.
Her mind instantly cleared, she rained blows down on him, until she stood, panting, staring at the unconscious figure on the floor, bruised, battered and broken, albeit still alive.
"Oh God. What have I done?" she whispered, horrified. She did the only thing she could think to do, having enough sanity left to grab her wand. She ran.
* * *
Lily staggered into the Common Room, breathing heavily. She climbed the stairs quickly and burst into her dorm.
"Omigod...Ally...Alicia...Michelle...help." she croaked, and the girls crowded around her.
"Well, did you have fun?" Alicia asked cheerfully.
"He tried to rape me." she whispered, and the three girls frowned.
"Well, honey, we did try to warn you." said Michelle sternly, and Lily merely looked at her, more than a little confused. *What? When did they do that?* she thought through a fog of exhaustion and pain.
"Where is he?" asked Ally. Lily smiled fiercely.
"I kicked his ass." she said simply, expecting congratulations. The girls gasped at her, horrified.
"You did...WHAT?" snarled Ally. Lily stared, more than a little taken aback.
"You led him on, you little slut! He expected it from you, you should have given him some!" growled Michelle.
"Where is he, we have to help him!" snarled Alicia, and the three girls who were once her friends stared at her with pure hate in their eyes.
"I don't know...near the Arithmancy classroom, I think..." stammered Lily, and without further ado, the girls got up and left. Ally paused.
"I never want to see you in this room again, got it, whore? You are not our friend, just a stupid Mudblood bitch who is worth absolutely nothing. Pack your stuff and go." With that, the girls left, and Lily simply stared at the door. After a while, she began to pack in a daze.
* * *
Lily dragged her trunk down to the common room at about 3 in the morning. She slumped down on one of the couches and stared into the dying embers of the fire, her mind in a fog. She heard movement behind her, and looked around to see the Marauders.
"What do you want." she stated. *Just go away...please...go...* she thought painfully.
"I told you Malfoy would hurt you." said Sirius, and Lily snapped for the second time that night.
"I KNOW, OK?!?!? I MADE A FUCKING MISTAKE, HE'S A FUCKING ASSHOLE AND YOU THINK I MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET A LITTLE PEACE AROUND HERE! MY EX-BOYFRIEND IS A SICK BASTARD, MY SO-CALLED "FRIENDS" HATE ME AND MY LIFE IS JUST SHIT SO YEAH, GO ON, MAKE ME FEEL EVEN MORE AWFUL. I HOPE YOU'RE FUCKING HAPPY." she ranted, and the boys looked slightly taken aback.
"Don't expect us to comfort you for your own mistakes, Evans," snapped James. "It was your fault and you lead him on in the first place, don't try to lie." Lily sighed.
"I didn't lead him on, James." she said quietly, but none of the boys heard. Each one was still incredibly angry about the prank she had pulled on them and refused to listen to a word she said.
"It was your fault, Evans. Deal with it." said Peter, and the four boys trooped up the stairs without another word.
*All my fault, all my fault...* the words zoomed around her mind as she sat on the couch. She sat there, numb, as tears rolled down her cheeks, not noticing anything else. Eventually, she cried herself to sleep, when she once again had restless dreams.
Lily approached the familiar ice palace and marvelled at it's beauty. Looking behind her, she saw people...James...Malfoy...Ally...Sirius...all those who despised her were chasing her. Seeing the ice palace as a place of refuge, she climbed inside and immediately felt safe. All the people had dissappeared and she felt cold...numb...devoid of emotion. 'Yes,' she thought as she stood at the parapet, looking out over a snow-covered plain, 'this is the way to be. I cannot be hurt.' And as she thought these thoughts, she felt truly happy.
Lily awoke suddenly as the sun's first rays pierced through the curtain and into the room. Her dream came back to her, and she realized its' message. *All people despise me, therefore I will stay away from everyone...I will not be hurt again.* She turned, walked to the window and looked out, imagining she was in her ice castle again. "Yes," she said softly, "I will not be hurt again."
Wow, this was a long chappie...hope it makes up for my absence. I hope you like, definitely added some plot twists in here! Next chappie we fast forward to seventh year, which is when the story really takes off. Anyhoo, here come the thanks to all my reviewers:
snowflakey(Thanks!), Summer Rain(You are one of my most faithful reviewers, thanks so much!), FE Angel 258(No! I'll write more...really...good plot ideas!), joyce(Sorry, this wasn't really soon...:-( ), high?D(Thanks for the compliment!), Guard Girl(Thank you so so so so much- I really wasn't sure whether to keep putting poetry in!), River Goddess(Again, thanks for being faithful!), WolfMoon(Hehe...oops...not exactly really soon!), hpluvr(*blushes* Thanks!), Lyz(You rock my socks!! No seriously, you're a great reviewer!), DV(I hope this is up to your standards!), liz valenitne (He's pretty arrogant, just thinks she'll fall right over him...well, you learn something every day!) and last but definitely not least Lainz(Wow...so much praise, I won't fit my riding helmet!)