Somewhere In Between

I can't believe I'm actually going to do this. After years of calling her Satan, here I am standing in the jewelry store with Donna looking at rings.
"She would love this one," she commented. I looked down to see an egg size ring that was hideous.
"Umm...no. That's not a ring, that's a friggen egg."
"Well what do you want? We've been here all day!! I'm starting to feel like I'm getting married to you!"
"Well we always could you know," I said as I smirked while walking away.
"Shut up," she retorted.
"Wait. This is it," I stopped suddenly and looked down at the petite solitaire diamond ring.
"Not enough diamonds. Trust me, I know her. More diamonds equals more love."
"No. This is perfect."
"Whatever. Don't say I didn't warn you..." she moaned as I walked over to the slightly gay looking host.
"Yeah, can I buy a ring?"
"Aren't you already engaged?" he said snidely to Donna.
"Hey Chachi! Forget about her...can I buy the ring or not?"
"Oh alright," he sighed as he walked over to the counter. "Let me guess, you want this one?" he asked taking out the egg.
"No!! That looks like something the friggen Easter Bunny would lay!!" I yelled.
"There is no need for yelling!" he yelled back.
"Hey Fenton? Yeah...just give the guy the ring ok?" Donna broke in.

Twenty minutes later we left the store with the right ring. Now all I had to do was actually propose. That might take awhile.
"So when are you gonna ask?" she asked reading my mind.
"I have no idea," I sighed.
"Well, knowing Jackie, she'll sniff it off you so you better do it soon."
I nodded my head silently in agreement as I thought about it. She was right. She could spot a wedding magazine three miles away. The only hope I had of surprising her was to avoid her completely tonight. That, in itself, would be a feat hard to accomplish.

"Guys, give me the helmet," I said as I walked in the basement that night.
"What did you do now?" Eric asked as he hopped off the sofa to go get the helmet. I brought out the ring and showed it to them.
"Wow, I'm flattered but...Donna might have some issues with this," he said as he handed over the helmet.
"You wish Foreman. It's for Jackie."
"You're proposing to Jackie?" Kelso yelled. "You can't do that!! It totally destroys my chances of random sex with her!!"
"Kelso, you haven't had any random sex with her."
"Yeah I know, but one day it could happen." I just looked at him and frogged him in the shoulder. "OW!!!" he yelped as I walked back into my purple room decorated by Jackie to hide the ring.
"You know she'll find that," Eric said as he leaned against my doorway as I searched for a place to hide it.
"Yeah I know. I'm thinking a sock drawer. She hasn't gone in that one yet."
"Well she's coming so do it fast." I threw it in there and quickly walked over to the freezer to cover my action.
"Hey Steven," she said coming over to me and kissing me quickly.
"Hey. I thought you had some cheerleading thing to do tonight," I said as she walked over to the freezer.
"I didn't go." The whole room stopped and stared. Jackie didn't go to a cheerleading sponsored event??
"What's wrong?" I instantly asked.
"Nothing!! I just didn't want to go."
"Did you get kicked off the team?" Eric said as he mock pouted.
"No," she sneered at him. "I just didn't want to go. No big deal."
Everyone just shrugged as they went back to watching TV.
"I got kicked off the team!!!" she wailed suddenly as we all jumped.
"I was kidding!" Eric said defensively.
"They said that I wasn't into it enough. Have you ever seen someone into it more than me?" she cried.
"Actually Jackie...when is the last time you went to practice?" Donna asked.
"That is besides the point Donna," she said glaring at her. "I was on the squad all four years of high school and the past two years in college...they can't just kick me off!!"
"Jackie!! You never went to anything. You just like being able to call yourself a cheerleader!"
"I went to the car washes," she pointed out.
"Yes you did," all the guys said as they waggled their eyebrows.
"Oh shut up. I went to car washes. I went to games. I fundraised..."
"Umm, is this going to be going to be going for a while? Because I'm hungry," Eric stated as he jumped off the couch followed by the others.
"Steven! Are you listening to me at all!" she demanded when everyone left.
"Jackie, it's just a stupid school event. Get over it," I said as I walked back to my room.
"It is not!" she stamped her little foot on the floor beside her as she said that indignantly.
"Go join another club. Like the 'oh my God I'm rich and pretty club'," I said sarcastically.
"They have those?? I should shouldn't I?? I mean I am rich and beautiful..."
"There you go."
"Wow, thanks Steven," she said as she kissed me before flouncing out the basement. My God that girl was crazy...and for some reason I loved her.
"Is she gone?" Fez called out.
"No...she's changing in my room into a shirt."
All the sudden Fez and Kelso charged down the stairs and into my room.
"Where is she?" Kelso asked.
"You idiot. You think she'd wear my shirts? You think I'd tell you she was changing?"
"Yeah, he does have a point there," Fez pointed out.
"She went to go look for rich and pretty clubs to join."
"I wanna be in one!" Kelso said.
"There aren't really groups like that you moron!! I just didn't want her here tonight."
"Oh. I knew that," he said off hand.

I can't be losing sleep over this, no I can't
And I can not stop pacing

"Hyde? What are you doing man?" Eric sleepily asked me later on that night. I was down in the basement and just walking. I couldn't get Jackie's ring out of my head. How was I going to do this? More importantly, why was I going to do this? All I know is that I had to do it soon, because sooner or later she's gonna figure out something's going on.
"I have to ask her. Soon."
"Yeah, we know. But it's three in the morning. How bout dreaming about how to ask her??"

Give me a few hours and I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

"I know," I sighed as I sank down on the sofa. I rubbed my hands over my face, I was exhausted, there was no escaping that. "I guess you're right," I said as I got up and headed to my room. Eric stumbled up the stairs to go back to bed as I shut my door. I lied down on my bed and tried to go to sleep but I couldn't get this out of my mind. Damn it!! I'm not supposed to be losing sleep over Jackie Burkhardt. Losing my mind, yeah; but not sleep. I yawned as I rolled over and eventually drifted off to sleep.

Cause I can not stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This can not be happening

"Steven!" Jackie yelled as she ran into my room the next day. "I can not believe that you did that!"
"Did what?"
"I heard about what you did for me."
Oh shit. She knows. Kelso must have told her...now I have to hurt him again.
"What are you talking about?" I asked feigning ignorance.
"With the clubs. To make me feel better. I know that you told Stacey Callaghan and she agreed to it. So now I do have a club I can be in!!" she screeched as she wrapped her arms around me.
"Yeah, you figured me out..."I said as I inwardly sighed. Kelso must have been serious and went and talked to someone about starting a club. That moron. She walked out of the room and went to the sofa and I sat on my bed and shook my head. That was close. This isn't me. I'm zen...I don't get shaken up like this. I had to do something before I lost my mind.

This is over my head
But underneath my feet

Ok so I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. I've been with her for like three years now and I finally decided that I want to get married. Me. Steven Hyde. I want to get married. That's just something weird. Jackie's always the one who talks about having her face on china plates at 'our wedding'. Good Lord she can sniff anything that has to do with a wedding out from miles away. Why was I even getting myself into this?? Then I'd never get rid of her...that is unless I decided to buy her a trailer. I still always had that idea in my back pocket.
"Steven?" she asked quietly.
I looked up immediately. When Jackie was quiet, something was wrong with her. She was always screeching and yelling about one thing or another.
"My mom wants me to go with her to Mexico."
"Wasn't she just there?"
"She's going back. And now she says I have to go too."
"What about Donna's house?"
"She wouldn't listen to me. All the sudden she thinks I need her. God I made it on my own without her for six years, why do I need her now?" she asked her voice cracking. I reached out to her, but she twirled away. "I don't need her. I just wanna stay here, where everything's perfect. She always has to mess things up. First it was dating Bob. Now it's making me leave here; leave Eric, Donna...you." This time she did come to me and just collapsed in my arms crying. This time, I even felt my eyes water a little bit. God who was I?? Crying because my girlfriend was leaving?? How many times has that happened?? Then again, they were never my girlfriend. Just my fuck buddy. Maybe that's why this was different. Holding her, listening to her cry broke my heart. It made me cry damn it!!! This girl was poisonous...and yet I just can't get enough. That's it. I'm marrying her. I don't care if she moves to Mexico...I'm going to do this. This is the first thing in a long time that I've been sure of.

Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

"Hyde, I heard what happened!" Eric said at breakfast the next day.
"What happened?" Kitty asked immediately assuming the worst.
"Jackie's moving," I said quietly.
Everything was quiet for a minute and then Laurie broke the silence.
"Hyde, I am so sorry. I know how much you loved her...this has to got be hard on you. If you need anything, you come to me."
"Man I love this!! I love having a real sister. I knew that demon spawn thing that was here before wasn't real!!" Eric yelled happily.
"Eric shut up!" Red snapped.
"When's she leaving?" Kitty asked me.
"In like two days," I muttered as she came through the sliding door.
"I just came to say goodbye. My mom decided to leave today," she said through her tears.
I stood up abruptly as Red looked at me and then her. "I...uhhh...need to go shine my shoes..." he said uncomfortably as he got up. One by one everyone else continued to get up making up some lame excuse, leaving me alone with Jackie.
"Are you really leaving?" I asked quietly.
She just nodded as she looked at me. I swallowed hard as I wrapped my arms around her tightly, burying my face in her hair, breathing her in.
"I love you Jackie," I whispered as my eyes got moist.
"I love you too," she answered as she looked at me. "Oh my God, Steven are you crying??"
"No. Allergies..." I lied clumsily.
"It's ok Steven, just let it out," she said as she herself cried.
"Jackie. I have nothing to let out," I said defensively.
"Fine. But when I'm gone, you're gonna cry. Why?? Because you'll miss me."
"Jackie..."
"Don't deny it!!"
"I already told you that I'd miss you!!!" I yelled as she shut up.
For a minute we just stood there looking at each other and then she came over and kissed me. Not a cute little kiss like what she usually did when she was usually leaving...but the slow long one that I love. We were drawing out the moment and we knew it. Neither one of us wanted to say goodbye. So when her mom came to the door and tapped her foot impatiently, she gave me one last look and walked out the door. I sighed as I sat down at the table. Jackie Burkdhart had wormed her way in my heart and I actually fell in love with her. Now she's gone. The one girl that put up with me, that understood me, that loved me, was gone. I sat back down at the table and sighed. This is gonna suck I thought to myself.
"Steven," she said again as she reappeared at the door. I looked over as she came to me. "I just wanted to let you know that I love you. Ever since I saw you, I loved you. You were the first guy to treat me right. I'll never forget you," she whispered as she put her hand on my cheek and then left. This time, she didn't come back.

"So how are you?" Donna asked me later that day.
"Fine," I said from behind my glasses.
"Hyde!! Your girlfriend just left you when you were about to propose...don't tell me that you're fine!" she exclaimed.
"This is just like what it used to be," I retorted. "Jackie wasn't here and everything was fine. I'm fine, really."
"I think you're lying," Fez said from across the room.
"I think you should shut your pie hole," I said back.
"Umm...Jackie was always here. Remember, she came with Kelso. So yeah...she was always here...even when we didn't want her to be," Eric remarked.
"I'm fine ok!!" I yelled as I got up and headed upstairs.
"Oh my Steven!" Kitty exclaimed as I came stomping into the kitchen.
"Don't even ask Mrs. Foreman, I'm fine."
"You certainly are not fine," she observed.
"Why wouldn't I be fine? I just had a 95 pound mole removed from my life. I. Am. Doing. Fine," I accentuated.
"You. Are. Lying," she said back.
"Mrs. Foreman, if I'm not fine, shoot me ok?"
"Pow!!" she said as she made a gun with her hands and aimed it at me.
"I know, I know," I finally relented as I sat again at the table. "Why does this have to hurt so bad?" I asked quietly.
"Because you loved her," she replied gently.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
I'm somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream

"Hyde, did you hear me?" Kelso asked the next day.
"What?" I asked as I shook my head to clear myself of that hazy familiarity that I now associated with Jackie.
"I asked if you heard from Jackie," he repeated.
"No, not yet. Why have you?"
"Yeah. She called last night."
"Well..."
"What?" he asked as he looked up from the magazine he was reading about astronauts.
"What did she say?" I asked anxiously.
"Oh nothing. But she did tell me to tell you hi."
I barely acknowledged this as I made my way to my room. The day had been so long already, and it was only two in the afternoon. I just wanted it all to end. This day, this year, this life. No I'm not being suicidal...it's just...my life got really quiet and kinda boring now without Jackie there to make me smile or cringe at her loudness. I kept imagining her there with me when in reality she was gone. I kept hearing her calling me or every time the door opened I checked to see if it was her. God, why couldn't she call me? Is she trying to like wipe me out of her life, ms. 'I'll never forget you' seemed to forget about me pretty quick.

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Dont be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again

"Steven!!"
"What?" I yelled back thinking it was Kelso playing a trick on me. Or else I was just dreaming. But no, two minutes later the petite brunette stood in front of me, smiling from ear to ear.
"What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in like Guadalajara or something?" I asked.
"I ran away."
"I'm sorry what?" I asked as I cleaned out my ear. "You did what?"
"I ran away. I grabbed all of my money and most of my mom's and took a plane and here I am," she replied wrapping her arms around me.
"Ok...why..."I trailed off.
"I hated it there. Too many foreigners. I had trouble with Fez...imagine a whole country of them! And plus...I missed you."
"You need to go back," I said surprising myself.
"What?" it was her turn now to be confused.
"You need to go back for your mom. She wanted you there, go back to her."
"Are you saying you don't want me here?" she asked as she backed towards the door.
"No! I'm saying that you need to think about how pissed your mom will be when she finds out you're not there. At least she will be when she gets sober again," I said.
"Steven. We both know that she's never sober." I nodded, she did have a point there.
"So what do we do now?" I asked.
She walked towards me slowly. "I have an idea."
"Jacks...I dunno about this," I said as she pushed me on my bed. "Hell the whole group could be out there listening to this."
"Let them," she said sounding like me for the first time. I was taken aback by that but quickly recovered and met her lips halfway to mine.

I don't want to run away from this

I listened to her incessant ramblings the next day about how much she missed everything and now that she was back, she could become a cheerleader again and blah, blah, blah.
"Jackie, you got kicked off the team," I pointed out.
"But if I put more spirit in it..."
"Jackie. Trust me, you don't need anymore spirit. You once told me to shave in the form of a cheer...trust me, I think you're good," I said in an effort to shut her up. God why was I even sitting her listening to her ramble on and on? She had moved back in with the Pinciotti's, why not go torture Donna?? At least she's a girl.

I know that I just don't need this

"I told you once, I'm telling you again, I'm not taking you there!"
"Oh my God, it's the mall Steven!! Get over yourself and get in the car."
"No."
"Fine. I'll take Michael," she said as she sped off.
She'd take Michael...she better not take Michael. Michael was more than just a little handsy with her to put it nicely. Just think Hyde, you get to put up with this for the rest of your life, I thought to myself. I think I'll go shoot myself now, I responded back. Yeah, it gets bad when you hold your own conversations.

Cause I cannot stand still

"Jacks, hey. Let's go somewhere," I said as I walked into Donna's kitchen that night.
"No, I'm mad at you Steven."
"It's the mall Jackie!! Get over it!" I said getting distracted from the real reason why I was there.
"I don't care. I'm not going anywhere with you."
I threw a look at Donna to help me out and she jumped right in.
"Yeah you should go. Dad's going out and Eric's coming over..." she trailed off letting Jackie fill in the blank.
"Eww...ok let's go Steven," she said marching out the door.
"Thanks."
"No problem. But he really is coming over...you might wanna stay out for awhile."
"Donna, this goes in the over share file," I said as I followed my girlfriend.
"Steven, why are we here?" she asked confused as I killed the car engine and got out.
"It's where we had our first date."
"Oh my God you remembered that?" she asked in awe putting a hand over her heart.
"Yeah. Let's go for a walk," I said grabbing her hand.
"Hello?? Clogs," she said gesturing towards her feet.
"Oh. Ok then, we can stay here."
With that she promptly got on the hood of my car and started swinging her feet. I paced around, the ring burning a hole in my pocket. Tonight was the night. If only I knew how I was going to do it. Damn I was nervous!!

I can't be this unsturdy

What if she didn't like it? Or worse, what if she didn't like me? What if she laughed in my face? Did I really know what I was getting into?? I guess my face showed I was throwing things around inside my head and she jumped down and walked over to me.
"What's going on?" she asked confused.
"Huh? Oh, nothing," I replied trying to smile.
"Uh-huh. I know you. Something's up."
I paced around a few more times before I finally sighed. "Ok, I love you Jackie..."
"I know," she replied trying to see where I was going with this.
"When you moved I cried. I cried Jackie. I don't just cry over anything! And then you left and I kept hearing you and seeing you when you weren't really here..."
"Steven! What are you getting at?" she asked as she cut me off in midramble.

This cannot be happening

"Will you marry me?" I blurted out without thinking.
"Are you serious?" she asked skeptically thinking I was joking around.
I just nodded and pulled out the ring. Here comes the moment of truth, I thought as I braced myself for the mind numbing rejection.
"Oh. My. God. It's beautiful!" she gasped softly.
"Really? Donna tried to tell me more but-"
"I love it," she answered as she slipped the ring on her finger.
"So is that a yes?"
"Yes Steven. I will marry you," she squealed as I grabbed her and twirled her around.
I can't believe I just did that, I can't believe she said yes. Holy shit I'm getting married! I thought as I looked down into her face and kissed her. She was radiating with happiness; I don't think that I ever saw her this happy before.
"Let's go home now," she whispered against my chest.
"Eric's still over Donna's."
"I know. But I figure we can piss the hell outa Red again," she said with a smile as we headed back to the car. She's definitely mine, that's all I have to say.

Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Been waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real
Just a dream