Chapter 8: Finding Yourself

Two-Bit's Point of View

Three weeks had passed since I had met Christina and she and I had spent hours just talking together, having the wildest conversations in the world. Christina was making me change. I honest-to god think I'm in love, because I started listening to music on the radio and I started to wonder who I was. I had been hanging out with Christina and her friends and even though it was pissing my gang off, they still understood.

Christina's friends turned out to just be JC and his gang. That was the weirdest thing in the world though. Christina was definitely a soc, and JC was definitely a greaser, but they were still the best of friends. I had stopped being so jealous of JC. I didn't have to worry about JC wanting Christina. In fact, JC was the damn most confused boy I had ever met in my entire life, I swear. He never knew what he wanted. His opinion would always change, and he was never stubborn. He could admit to being wrong, but no matter how perfect he sounded, there was something behind those wicked eyes that was anything but perfection.

That very night, JC was giving his sermon. Every Monday, he would sit down with his gang, Christina and anyone else who would show up at JC's apartment and JC would just stand up and talk. He never talked about god, like in a church sermon. No, he didn't have that kind of faith. He had faith in everything but god. But, he would just talk about everything, he'd even talk about nothing. It was just so amazing to hear him talk, and that was what I was doing then, was just listening. I was shutting my eyes and almost feeling the words, coursing through my mind.

"The way I see it," JC began in a rhythmic tone, "We are on this earth for one reason. To live. But what the hell are we living for? Hell, we all believe that we can slack in this life just so we can forget all our imperfections in heaven. Well, what if there is no heaven? What if there's just..." he trailed off for a minute, deep in thought, "What if there's just death? Then what did we live for? If there's nothing left to live for, why don't we just die, right here and right now? The thought that there is no next life bums a lot of people out, but why be bummed out when you can have a rip roarin' good-time in this life?" he casually smiled a too-big grin.

The boys cheered at the last comment, a black boy named Peligo said, "Hell, yes! We are here to party!"

JC smiled at that Peligo kid. Peligo might've been black, but JC didn't even notice color. He wasn't color blind or anything, color just didn't matter to JC. He could see beauty in everything without color. "No Peligo." JC said, still smirking, "We are just here to live..."

I sat on the couch of JC's apartment, Christina in my lap, me fluffing her hair. She smiled up at me as I sung to myself, "I can hear the soft breathing of the girl that I love, as she lies here beside me, asleep with the night. And her hair, in a fine mist, it floats on my pillow, reflecting the glow of the winter moonlight."

"Good morning, Keith Mathews." Christina whispered to me. Damn, she was right! It was already three in the mornin'! "I gotta tell ya something, Keith." I nodded my head to tell her I was listening. Christina was the only person that could call me Keith, and she was the only one who could call JC, Jet-Set.

Christina did something she had never done. She leaned up and kissed me, on the lips too! Sure, I fluffed her hair, but we weren't going together, nope. I just stared down at her, almost blushing, and I was glad that it was so dark (JC never turned the lights on. He didn't have the money to pay for the electric bill) so Christina couldn't have seen my face lighting up like a friggin' Christmas tree.

And what she said next wasn't helping matters because it was so unexpected, but her words slipped out, "I think I'm in love with you, Two-Bit Mathews..."

Disclaimer: I do not own the Outsiders, just Christina, Dana, JC, Chewy, the Street panthers, the Black Hawks and any other characters I make later in this story.

Kairyuu-kun: Thanks for reviewing numerous times! I need the support. Your Fan Fic.'s are great, by the way! But Riku, gay? NO WAY!!! Love does do some pretty creepy stuff to you. I need your opinion on whether or not Dana should get pregnant or not. I can't decide. But then again, he has been punished pretty-well, what with having to be baby-sat by Two-Bit (grrr) You can't help but feel bad for Ponyboy on that one... JC is supposed to be really classy. He's based off of Motorcycle Boy, only JC is less irrational, and his mission in life is unknown, even to him, while the Motorcycle Boy knew what he wanted, as was apparent in the end of Rumble Fish (another book by S.E. Hinton, incase someone didn't know.) Please keep reviewing!

Banana4422: Thanks for reviewing as well! You've always been one of the first to review all of my stories, so thanks! About my poems, they aren't too great. The one about 'He Chose To Be A Greaser' is explained in 'Wrong Side of The Tracks'