A/N: well there's ch 2 for whoever wants to read it. Fushigi Yuugi= not mine Storyline is. To the chappy…
The young nurse sat there for a long time, holding the sobbing Houjun in her arms and letting him cry out the grief and guilt he had kept locked away for so long.
"It's alright, just cry it out sweetie. That's right…" she whispered, rubbing his back soothingly as he cried into her shoulder.
Houjun clung to the young nurse, finally finding the comforting arms he had been waiting to find for the past two years. The nurse could feel the other's tears soaking through the cotton of her shirt and she pulled him as close as she could, her eyes stinging with tears of sympathy. The intensity of the young man's emotion was powerful that the young nurse could almost feel Houjun's pain, almost saw why he had been driven to live in a mental hospital. She put a hand to the back of his head and gently stroked his hair, telling him over and over that it was going to be okay as Houjun clenched her sleeve in his fist as if the small piece of material was the only thing keeping him from going completely over the edge.
Houjun felt as if his very soul were being ripped in half by the never-ending storm of his own sadness. His heart hurt so badly that he just wanted to die and he dug his nails into the soft material of the nurse's shirtsleeve in an effort to block out the pain. The young woman held him as Houjun cried harder and harder, his eyes screwed shut against the pain raging inside him. The young man tightened his arms around the nurse as the chaos within him reached such a pitch that he thought he would black out. The nurse gasped as the other's arms squeezed her with such intensity that she thought he'd broken her ribs. She felt tears slip from her eyes as she tried to calm the young man in her arms. He was trembling like a terrified child, his desperate sobs making his breath come in short gasps as his arms continued to tighten around the nurse's small form. The young nurse let him squeeze her, thinking that she didn't care if she got all her ribs shattered if it meant the broken, sobbing young man in her arms could feel at least a second of peace, until finally his arms constricted so tightly around her chest that she could hardly breath.
"L-let go," she choked as she felt her lungs desperately calling for air "I-I can't breath, loosen your grip…"
Houjun quickly let go of the nurse, momentarily forgetting his tears and sitting back on his knees, a look of horror written on his tear-streaked face. The shock of nearly having suffocated the nurse had brought him back to the present and he looked at the young woman. She was passing a hand over her eyes, one arm over her ribs as she steadied her breathing. Houjun reached out a shaking hand to place it on the nurse's cheek, gently stroking her chin with his thumb.
She looked up into his worried face and smiled a little. "It's okay, you didn't hurt me," the nurse told him, taking the young man's hand in hers and giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You just surprised me, that's all. I never expected that such a gentle-looking young man could have such strong emotions inside of him."
Houjun hung his head, his tears of pain turning to ones of shame. He tried to pull his hand back from the nurse but the young woman held on to him.
"Don't be ashamed," she said gently "Whatever feelings you hold, they're in you for a reason and they hurt because of that reason. It means you're human if you can feel emotions, and being human isn't anything to be embarrassed of."
The young man shook his head, a tiny half smile playing about his lips and reached out with his other hand to touch the nurse's cheek, his tears slowing until they were all but gone.
"Does that mean thank you?" the nurse asked quizzically.
Houjun dropped his gaze to the sheets and nodded, his ashen face tinged with a bit of pink.
"Anytime." she told him, a soft smile on her face. She turned serious for a second and added, "I mean it. If you ever need someone to talk with or someone's shoulder to cry on, I'll always be here for you. All you have to do is call, okay?"
Houjun nodded solemnly. Then a thought struck him and he bowed his head, fresh tears starting to tumble down his cheeks.
The nurse reached out a hand in concern. "What's wrong? Did I upset you?"
Houjun shook his head, the tears coming faster now.
The young woman brought her head down to eye level with him and gently brushed a lock of chestnut hair out of his eyes. "Please tell me why you're crying, I want to help you. Can you tell me what's wrong?"
Houjun shook his head miserably and looked up at the nurse. His mahogany eyes were filled with regret and his face shone with a powerful need to let her know something.
"I don't understand, what are you trying to say?" she asked in confusion. When Houjun continued to stare at her blankly, his eyes filled with sorrow, the nurse finally understood. "You can't talk, can you?" she asked quietly.
Houjun nodded then shook his head, willing the nurse to understand.
"You can, but you won't?" the young woman inquired.
Houjun nodded again, his chin starting to tremble as he fought to repress his sobs.
A brief silence followed then the nurse reached out and put her hand to Houjun's tear-soaked cheek in sympathy. "You want to, don't you?" the nurse asked carefully, not wanting to push the young man back into his previous state of near-hysteria "You want to tell me what's wrong, but you're…" she paused looking for the right words "you're afraid? Or you aren't ready?"
Houjun signaled that she had guessed right on both counts and looked down at the sheets again.
"It's alright, you don't have to talk if you aren't ready," the nurse told him, her voice starting to hold a faraway note to it. She brushed a tear off his face with her thumb and added softly, "It's okay to be afraid, I won't think any less of you. There's probably not one other person in this hospital that can say this and mean it but I know what you're going through."
Houjun looked up sharply, not daring to believe that she was telling the truth.
"I'm not just saying that either," she said seriously, reading the doubt in Houjun's eyes "I used to be in a situation like yours. I was in a hospital once, just like this one and for years I was living in hell until one day someone came along and pulled me out." The nurse lowered her gaze, slowly dropping her hand from Houjun's cheek and drawing it to her chest. " I had been there too many times and I never wanted to see another person suffer like that, so-so I became a nurse…" The young woman passed a hand over her eyes, trying to hide the telltale shine of tears.
Houjun was watching her intently and so did not miss the single, sparkling drop of water that fell from her hand and onto her knees. His brow creased in worried empathy and he bit his lower lip, trying to think of some way to tell the nurse it would be okay without words. Suddenly his mind presented him with the memory of the nurse's soothing arms around him, offering silent comfort and understanding. The young man reached out and pulled the other close to him in a gentle hug, being careful not to squeeze her too hard this time.
The young woman's eyes widened as she felt Houjun's arms wrap around her with such tender compassion that she almost felt as if an angel were holding her. She looked up into his eyes and put her head down on his chest. "Thanks." she said quietly, returning the young man's caring embrace. Houjun smiled at her and squeezed her shoulders reassuringly, laying his head softly on top of hers.
A few seconds of comfortable silence passed by and the nurse looked up at Houjun, "It's kind of funny," she said quietly " I came in here to comfort you and I ended up in your arms. Makes me wonder if I shouldn't just check myself back in here…"
She was joking, of course, but Houjun didn't realize this and his head snapped up in alarm. He took hold of the nurse's shoulders, holding her so that she was face to face with him and shook his head fervently, his eyes shining with fierce conviction. The young woman laughed and gave him a kiss on the forehead.
"I was only teasing," she explained. "I'd never check myself back into an institution. After all, if I did that who'd help you get out of here?"
The young man blushed and looked down at the bed-sheets again. He toyed with the soft white fabric for awhile then, after a minute's hesitation, he reached his hand out and touched the nurse's cheek again, his eyes questioning.
The nurse looked into the young man's soulful brown eyes, trying to see what he was trying to say. "I don't understand." she said after a minute "Can you maybe show me what you mean?"
Houjun lowered his hand, his brow furrowing in thought as he frowned at the sheets. His eyes lit up momentarily and he reached behind him for the notebook he had been writing in earlier. He held it up for the nurse to see and pointed to where he had printed his name across the front.
"Houjun Ri." the other read "That's your name?"
Houjun nodded and brushed his hand over the young woman's cheek with a tiny half-smile.
"Now I understand!" the nurse breathed in sudden realization, "You want to know my name, right?"
Houjun nodded again and he looked expectantly at the nurse.
"It's Hanami Sakura." she told him, giving him another encouraging smile. "You can call me Hana."
The young man looked at her and nodded in acknowledgement. A smile suddenly lit up his face and he flipped open his notebook to the last page. He pulled the pencil he'd been using earlier out of the spiral on the side of the book and started scribbling furiously. Hana looked over the top of the notebook and saw that the young man was writing in what looked like Japanese. She watched in fascination as his hand danced across the page, leaving behind strange symbols and words that she couldn't read. Finally, Houjun lifted his hand from the page and held the notebook out to the nurse.
The young woman looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry, I can't read that. I don't know any Japanese." she told him.
Houjun nodded then took up his pencil again and slowly began writing the English translation under the Japanese, pausing every few seconds to think of the right words. After a few minutes, he tore out the paper and handed it to Hana. The young nurse took the piece of paper and read it slowly. ' Hana means 'flower' in Japanese. And Sakura is cherry blossom. So to me you are the cherry blossom's flower. My flower of hope.' The young woman looked up to find Houjun watching her in apprehension and she smiled at him.
"That's beautiful, Houjun." she breathed, folding up the paper and putting it safely into her apron pocket. "Thank you."
He smiled at her and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand as if to say 'we're friends now and I trust you to take care of me'.
Hana returned his smile, then frowned a little as she caught sight of the clock hanging on the wall opposite her. One o'clock. That meant she had to leave Houjun and finish her rounds or else she'd risk losing her job. She turned to the young man and took his hands in hers. "I'm sorry, but I have to go now," she said softly "I have to finish my shift. I'll be back though, I promise."
She made to get up but Houjun grabbed her hands and held on tight, his eyes pleading and fearful. "I know, sweetie, I know you don't want to be left alone again." she said, her voice full of compassion and regret "I don't want to leave you, but if I stay any longer I'll lose my job and I'll never see you again. Don't you want me to come back and see you?"
Houjun nodded, his eyes still begging the young woman to stay with him and Hana gently brushed his chestnut hair out of his eyes. "I won't be gone long, only a few hours, then I'll come back to see you before I go home. How's that?"
Houjun nodded again and let go of the nurse's hand. Hana turned to leave and paused in the doorway. "Wait for me, okay? And remember, if you need me just call. You don't have to talk, just hit the intercom button and if I don't hear a voice, I'll know it's you, alright?"
The young man looked as if he were about to laugh and he gave a sign of agreement as Hana disappeared around the doorframe.
A/N: well there's chapter two. It's a bit longer (I think) and I hope it's as good as the first chapter. Tell me what you think and as usual see you next chapter.
Musical selection: Dearest (bgm version), track 17 on the Inuyasha Ost for the second half and Mizu-Kagami instrumental version for the first half.
~Tenshi Kitsune~