A/N: Chapter ten it is and we have a particularly rough chapter today. If you have a weak stomach for descriptions of bloody violence, an aversion to self-abuse and/or are under sixteen, do skip this part. I don't want anybody suing me or kicking me off ff.net because you decided to ignore my warning. As usual I own all of this fic except Houjun, his past, Hikou and Kouran and any other reincarnated seishi. Again, rough stuff ahead so last chance to bail. Now with that out of the way, here we go…

As the nurse and the young man slowly made their way down the hallway, a sudden sense of foreboding started to take hold of Hana. At first the nurse was confused, but as they got closer and closer to the nurse's station the reason for this feeling made itself all too clear. Or rather himself all too clear; Dr. Johnston was awkwardly making his way down the hall in the opposite direction, leaning a little to the left as he pressed an ice pack to a large purple bruise on his head. 

Houjun immediately froze in place, cold fear starting to take him over as the doctor got closer and closer. Hana gripped the young man's hand firmly, letting go of his arm in favor of gently laying her hand on his shoulder.

"You'll be fine, just don't listen to anything he says." the young nurse murmured, giving Houjun a small push forward. "Don't let him know he got to you, it's what he wants."

The youth nodded uncertainly and took a hesitant step forward.

"That's right," Hana encouraged him, limping along beside him despite the sharp pain that shot through her with each step now that Houjun was no longer supporting her. "One step at a time. One foot, then the other, one, two…That's it…"

Houjun was beginning to gain confidence in his steps when all of a sudden Dr. Johnston's mocking voice rang through the empty corridors. "If it isn't Hana and Houjun, our resident homicidal duo." he said, his voice full of malice.

Both Hana and Houjun froze in place, Hana glaring daggers at the older man while Houjun clung to the young nurse and nearly trembled with terror. 

"I'm actually surprised to see you two out here." the doctor continued conversationally as he drew level with the two youths "I thought I'd finally succeeded in breaking him…Pity."

This time it was Houjun who had to hold Hana back as the nurse tried to tackle the sneering man before her. "Let me go!" she hissed from between clenched teeth, trying to pull herself free of Houjun's iron grip. She accidentally put all her weight on her twisted ankle and her knees buckled under her as white hot knives of agony raced through her leg. Luckily, Houjun had the presence of mind to catch her before she fell and the nurse hung limply in his arms for a minute, trying to push the pain from her mind.

The doctor laughed contemptuously, his light grey eyes glinting with cruel pleasure. "Stupid girl." He suddenly smirked at Houjun. "At least you did a proper job of it." he said softly, making sure that nobody else could hear him but Houjun and Hana. "If you hadn't taken my bait and hurt her like this, I would have had to find another way of taking her away from you."

It was a good thing for Johnston that Houjun had Hana in his arms, because the spiteful doctor was toying with death. The young patient went scarlet with rage and Hana could feel one fist clenching around her shirtsleeve while the other squeezed her hand so tightly that her knuckles cracked. The nurse looked up at her superior in disgust. "Is this how you gained your status?" she asked, barely managing to keep her voice even as violent anger burned through her. "By taunting people weaker than you and making them your playthings?"

Johnston shrugged. "Why tamper with a winning combination?" he asked voice soft with malevolent joy.

It took everything Hana had not to respond, but she pulled herself upright and pushed Houjun forwards. "Come on." she said shortly "We're leaving. We don't have to stand here and listen to him spout nonsense."

"That's right, leave before you do something else you'll regret." Johnston called after them. "And I'll see you in court about this morning!"

Hana whirled around sharply. "I look forward to it." she shot back, her normally gentle voice full of merciless hatred. "Then we'll see who gets what they deserve." With that Hana gathered the last of her strength and she and Houjun continued to the nurse's station, leaving Dr. Johnston to wonder about the nurse's cryptic last words.

After a few steps, Hana leaned towards Houjun. "D'you think he's gone yet?" she whispered.

The youth glanced behind them and nodded, some of the anger starting to fade from his cheeks now that the doctor was gone.

The young woman beside him sighed in relief. "Thank god! My foot is killing me!"

She once again took hold of Houjun's arm and the two went on in silence. Once they'd reached the relative privacy of the nurse's station, Hana pulled Houjun into her office.

Confused, Houjun gave the young nurse a questioning look.

The other just looked at him for a second then her face broke into a huge grin. "I'm so proud of you!" she cried, throwing her arms around Houjun's neck and hugging him tightly. "You were perfect!"

Houjun's brows knit in puzzlement and he pulled Hana back so she could see his face. He put his head to one side and Hana laughed.

"That's right, you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" she asked, halfway between amusement and pride. "I'm talking about you! You were amazing!" she repeated, pulling Houjun to her for a quick hug. "When Johnston was saying all those things to us, I thought one of us would lose it and try to kill him again. Not you mind," the nurse added hastily as Houjun's eyes shifted from questioning to remorseful. "I was more worried that I'd be the one to…but that isn't important." The young woman was breathless with excitement and finally she let her control slip for a second, hopping up and down on her good foot in sheer delight. "You stood up to Johnston! You just stood there and let him talk, then walked away! You were brilliant!" She took Houjun's hands in her own and looked into his eyes. "You know what that means right?" she asked, her emerald eyes dancing with joy.

Houjun shook his head, still not quite sure what Hana was so happy about, but starting to get caught up in the nurse's excitement.

"It means you're getting stronger!" Hana exclaimed "It means you're finally starting to heal! You're pushing back the darkness and I couldn't be prouder of you!"

The young man's face registered shock for a second and then a tremulous smile started to spread across his face. Happy tears welled in his eyes and he swept Hana off the ground, lifting her in his arms and twirling on one foot, his own soft laughter joining with Hana's. Once they'd come to a stop, he pulled Hana to him and hugged her close. 

Hana returned the hug, letting her own happy tears spill openly down her face. "I knew you could do it!" the nurse cried, holding tightly to Houjun's shoulders and looking up into his tear-filled mahogany eyes "I just knew you'd show me the beautiful soul that lies under all that hurt and sadness one day!"

Houjun's eyes shifted into some emotion Hana couldn't quite recognize and his face turned solemn. "Thank you…" he whispered, his gentle tones thick with emotion "If it wasn't for you, I'd never be where I am now. If it wasn't for you, I'd still be lost and alone…Thank you…"

The young woman leaned back in Houjun's arms and caught his face between her hands. Carefully she lowered his head and gave him a kiss on the forehead. "I told you the first time I met you," she said quietly, her voice full of conviction and love "All I want is for you to be happy. I will always be there to help you, just call my name and I'll be there no matter what, alright?"

The young man nodded and pulled the nurse to him once more. "And when you need me, I'll be there too…" he promised, giving Hana a light kiss on the top of her head. He put a hand behind Hana's head and she lay her head down on his shoulder, both of them enjoying every moment of peace before they were forced to rejoin the harsh world outside the office door.

After a minute, Hana pushed away from Houjun and looked regretfully up at him. "I hate to break this moment, but I really need to sign those papers. I have a funny feeling that if I don't do it today Johnston'll fix it so that I never can."

The youth nodded and carefully shifted Hana in his arms so that she was on his back. "Don't want you getting hurt again." he told her in an undertone, not wanting to be heard talking by anyone other than Hana.

The nurse shook her head in amusement. "Big softie…" she teased.

Houjun smiled at her and pulled the door open. He hesitated for a second, then took a step forward and looked at Hana for instruction.

"You're going straight ahead until you see the door marked 'Head Office'." Hana told him "Then you're going left until you get to the secretary's desk. I'll take care of the rest."

The young man followed Hana's instructions and soon they came to the desk and his steps started to falter. He caught sight of familiar fiery red hair and froze completely.

"What's wrong sweetie?" Hana asked in concern "Who's at the desk?"

Houjun lifted a shaking hand and pointed at the middle-aged man in front of him.

"Oh. You don't need to worry about him." Hana reassured "Max might have acted heartless when he was holding you, but really he isn't that cruel. Johnston had him cornered into doing what he did."

Houjun shook his head skeptically and took a fearful step backwards. Just then, Max looked up and caught sight of the pair. "Hey!" he called, his face splitting into a friendly grin. "Hana! Houjun!"

"Don't move Max!" Hana said sharply as the security guard made to come closer. "You'll send him into an anxiety attack."

Max froze in place, his face going pale and worried. "I-is that 'cause of what happened?" he stammered. "'Cause if it is, I'm so sorry…"

Hana let go of Houjun's shoulders and carefully slid out of the young man's arms. "Partly yes, but mostly it's because Houjun's afraid of strangers." She looked up at the trembling young man beside her. "See? He's not so bad, he doesn't want to hurt you, he's even apologizing."

Houjun swallowed hard and took another step backwards, pulling Hana with him.

Max's face fell and he looked into Houjun's terrified mahogany eyes. "Listen, don't make him stay if he's scared…" the guard said softly "I understand, I mean hell, I'd be afraid too if I was him. Suddenly runnin' into some guy who was holdin' me back when all I wan'ed t'do was hide…tryin' t'put needles in me…" His eyes suddenly got very bright and the older man turned his face away before the other two could notice. "I don't blame ya."

Houjun's eyes went from frightened to sympathetic and he took a step forward. "It's okay…" Hana heard him whisper faintly. "Don't cry…"

"Houjun says it's okay." Hana told Max, sure that the guard hadn't heard Houjun's barely audible words. "He says he doesn't want you to cry. I don't want you to be miserable either." the nurse added softly. She took a shaky step forward and reached out her hand. "Come on, it's alright now. Houjun's not afraid anymore and neither of us can stand seeing you so guilty looking."

Houjun nodded in agreement and took another step forwards. For some reason, now he'd gotten over his initial fear, he felt a special connection with this guard. He held out his hand, his trembling lessening as he felt his heart go out to the repentant man before him.

Max looked up at Houjun in disbelief. "Y-you're actually givin' me another chance?" he asked uncertainly "After everythin' I did to you, you're willin' t'give me another chance?"

Houjun paused for a second, thinking over his reply, before nodding his head firmly and giving Max a solemn look.

The older man stared at Houjun for a second, uncertain of what he should do or say, then cautiously inched his own hand forward and took hold of Houjun's. Hana smiled softly as she watched the two exchange tentative smiles.

Max let go of Houjun and clapping his hands together in a businesslike manner. "So what brings you two out here t'the remotest corner of th' hospital?" the guard asked, his previous seriousness replaced by a warm, cheerful tone.

"I need a patient file." Hana explained, a wide grin spreading across her face. "I finish my residency tomorrow and I'm taking Houjun on as my first patient."

Max let out a low whistle. "I'm impressed." His brows knit in confusion and he gave Hana a questioning look. "Wait a sec, didn't ya tell me you were gettin' your doctrine?"

"I am, except this time it'll be the real thing." Hana replied proudly. Both Max and Houjun looked utterly lost, so the nurse explained. "What I mean is, I had my certificate before, but I never considered myself a true doctor. What good is a doctrine when you aren't certified to practice? As of tomorrow though, I'll be legally able to take on patients."

 Max nodded, still looking slightly bewildered. "Okay… I s'pose that makes sense, sorta..." He went back behind the desk and started punching data into the computer. "So are we transferring Houjun's file directly from one doctor's care to yours or is it a brand new one?"

"From Johnston's care to mine." Hana said firmly, a note of steel creeping into her voice as she said the doctor's name.

Max nodded and entered the information into the computer system. He stared at the screen for a second then looked back at Hana, his amber eyes dark with some emotion Hana couldn't quite place. "Uh, y'do has permission to do this right?"

The young nurse nodded, then turned sheepish. "Well technically no, but I'm going to get it tomorrow." she answered apprehensively. "Can't we find a way to override the system until I get permission?"

Max looked from Houjun to Hana then shook his head uncertainly. "Pro'bly, but I'm not too sure…" The guard gazed intently at the computer screen as his fingers danced across the keyboard. Finally, he found the loophole he'd been searching for. He gave Hana a triumphant grin. "Okay, here's what I can do. I can make you a temporary file then tomorrow we'll make it permanent. How's that sound guys?"

Houjun beamed at the redheaded guard and squeezed Hana's hand in excitement. He was nearly free, just a few more hours and he would be Hana's patient! He'd never have to deal with Johnston again if he didn't want to!

Hana smiled up into the young man's sparkling mahogany eyes. "Happy?" she asked fondly, feeling a light, joyful bubble starting to rise inside of her.

Houjun nodded fervently, his normally sorrowful features shining with contentment, and gave Hana a quick one armed hug.

Just as it seemed that everything was finally going to be alright, Max looked up from the computer screen with shock written on his pale face. "Hana…I-I don't know how t'say this but…" the guard trailed off, words failing him as he felt himself overcome with sadness.

"But what?" Hana urged, her own features starting to crease in worry. "What's wrong?"

Max shook his head slowly. "I-I can't make the file." he told the nurse apologetically. "Your full license is being withheld until you're cleared of all charges placed against you.  You can't take anybody on as a patient until after the hearing…I'm sorry"

Hana looked up at Houjun's devastated face and into his disbelieving mahogany eyes then turned a pleading gaze on Max. "There has to be something you can do! Anything…"

The guard shook his head sadly. "Wait, it gets worse. As of today, you're not allowed to be within fifty feet of Houjun because you pose a potential threat to his safety…"

Hana's face paled and tears started to gather in her emerald orbs. "No…" she whispered in shock "Th-this isn't happening…After everything Houjun's had to go through-after everything we lost and gained, after all that…To come to this…Please tell me you're not serious! Tell me this isn't happening!" Tears spilled down the small nurse's cheeks and she tightened her grip on Houjun's hand. "I can't lose him now…"

Meanwhile, Houjun had gone completely white, his breaths coming in short gasps as he fought to keep his legs from collapsing under him. He shook his head, feeling as if his very soul had been torn from him, and looked down into Hana's tear-filled green eyes.

"I can't…" she heard him whisper before he dropped her hand and bolted back down the hall.

"Houjun!" she cried in alarm, starting after the distraught young man. A hand took hold of her arm and Hana felt herself being held back. "Let go!" she shouted "You don't understand! I have to go after him!"

"You can't!" Max exclaimed. "You'll lose him forever!"

 Hana shook her head in frustration, willing the other man to understand and tugging urgently against Max's iron grip. "Let go!" she repeated, giving the guard a look so intense that he actually shrank back a little. "His life is on the line!"

Max's eyes widened and he immediately released his hold on the other's arm. "Run!" he yelled.

Hana hardly heard him as she tore down the empty hospital hallways. As she rounded a corner, her twisted ankle gave way beneath her and she fell forwards onto the hard marble floor, her hands automatically shooting out in front of her to break her fall. Feeling her body sliding across the smooth tiles, she closed her eyes as a wall sped towards her at an alarming rate. She waited and tensed herself for the impact, but it never came. The small nurse stopped just short of hitting the sharp corner at the far end of a doorframe with her head. The young woman's eyes flew open and for a second she just stared at the wall in front of her, trying to stop her heart's furious throbbing and the trembling in her legs.
A sudden crash resounded through the silent halls and a wave of terror shot through Hana's entire being as she shoved herself to her feet, ignoring her body's screaming protests.

"Don't you dare!" she prayed, tears flying behind her as she pushed herself to go faster "Don't you dare try it again…"

She burst into Houjun's room and screamed at the sight that awaited her. Houjun was sitting on his knees in the middle of the room, a broken glass on the floor next to him, with a bloodied shard in one hand, trembling and sobbing uncontrollably. His shirt was torn at the left shoulder, blood running freely from a deep gash made in the pale skin and his right arm sported a series of slashes down his inner arm. Both his knees were stained crimson and as Hana ran to him he deliberately slammed the jagged piece of glass into his left arm and started dragging it downwards, leaving behind a river of blood.

"Stop it!" Hana yelled, grabbing hold of Houjun's hand and pulling it away from his arm. "There are better ways Houjun! You can't keep doing this, it isn't right!"

"Who are you to tell me what's right?!" the young man demanded defiantly, clenching his fist around the shard in his hand. "What do you know about anything!?" 

Hana could feel anger born of intense fear mounting inside of her and she tightened her hold on Houjun's wrist pressing her thumb into the other's wrist, right below the main bone in his hand. The pressure of her hold forced Houjun's hand open and he dropped the shard, blood flowing down his arm and onto Hana's. "Who am I?" she repeated softly, her green eyes dark with emotion and tears. "I'm someone who loves you! I'm someone who promised they'd keep you safe, someone who will never give up on you!"

"Get the hell away from me!" Houjun screamed his eyes alight with panicked anger, taking a swing at the tiny nurse with his left hand as he tried to wrench his right one from Hana's firm grip. "Let me go dammit! If you ever loved me you'll let me die, you'll let this blood wash away my pain and you'll let me die! You'll let me end this misery!"

"Houjun, it's because I love you that I won't let you do this!" Hana said her voice full of anguish and fear as Houjun's blood slowly trickled down from his hand to her arm. "You can't do this to yourself! Don't you see? It doesn't make it better when you cut yourself, it just brings more pain!"

"The hell it does!" the other snarled, trying to jerk his hand out of Hana's "Let me go you selfish little sadist!"

"I won't!" the nurse cried, her tears coming faster then ever now. "Not until you show me you won't cut yourself again!"

 Houjun pulled at the hand that held him and fisted his left hand, drawing his arm back as if to take another swing at Hana. "Dammit let me go! I'll kill you!"

"No you won't." Hana said flatly, staring intently into Houjun's raging mahogany eyes.

Houjun's eyes glowed with an insane kind of light and the dark orbs narrowed dangerously. "I'll do it in a heartbeat!" he shot back, his left hand flying towards the broken glass next to him.

The small nurse holding him surprised the youth with her speed as she grabbed his other hand as well. "No, you won't." she repeated, her voice still eerily calm despite Houjun's increasingly violent outbursts. "First of all, I won't let you. Second, I know you better than that…you wouldn't be able to."

"You don't know anything about me!" Houjun howled, yanking his hands towards himself with all his strength. "You don't give a damn about me! You just want to one up Johnston! All I am to you is a tool to gain status!"

Hana fell forward with the force of Houjun's pull on her and her chin hit the rough cement floor with a smack, adding crimson to the impressive array of colors already showing on her face from her previous injuries. Luckily, she had missed the broken glass that lay all around her, but the solid stone floor was no better. Fresh tears welled in her eyes and she pulled herself back up, tightening her grip on Houjun's hands even more. Her green orbs bored into Houjun's mahogany ones and, for a moment, she looked as if she were going to yell something back at the sobbing, struggling young man before her. Finally, she couldn't stand it any longer and she tugged back on Houjun's hands so that he fell into her arms, dragging him backwards and away from the glass. Quickly wrapping her arms around him so that he couldn't hit out at her, she pulled the youth upright and buried her face in his blood-stained shirt.

"Please, try and understand…" she wept brokenly, drawing the young man close. "I love you more than anything in this world! You're everything to me; I can't lose you this way! I won't let you hurt yourself like this…I won't! S-so please understand why I'm doing this…Please, just try to understand…"

Houjun's frantic eyes softened a little at the sight of Hana sobbing helplessly with her face buried in his shoulder and he clenched his fists as the pain inside of him escalated.    He screwed his eyes shut, his breaths coming in short, fast gasps as tears ran down his face. "H-hana…I-I can't do this anymore…I-it hurts!" he sobbed haltingly "It hurts, I just want to die! Make it stop! Just let me die! Please…just let me bleed to death…"

The young man again tried to wrench his hands out of Hana's strong grip but the young nurse held tight.

"I won't!" she repeated her voice firm despite the tears that made it waver "I know you can make it through this, you are strong enough! And even if you aren't, together we're strong enough! Just talk to me, tell me what's wrong! If you let me know what hurts so much, I can help you fix it!" She pushed Houjun back a little and looked deep into his agonized gaze. "You're not alone in this anymore!" she told him, her green eyes pleading with him to understand "You don't have to bear this alone; I'm here for you…no matter what."

Houjun shook his head stubbornly, refusing to listen to Hana's words. "No you're not! You're not allowed to be!" he cried in anguish "They'll take you away from me and I'll never see you again! I'll be trapped in this hell until I die and don't tell me otherwise because it isn't true!"

Houjun cut himself off as awful realization dawned on his face and opened his eyes again. His face suddenly changed; his eyes went wide and fearful, the tears streaking down his face redoubling and his chin starting to tremble violently. All of a sudden, the desperate, enraged young man was transformed into a sobbing, terrified little boy. "I'm going to be alone in here forever…" he whimpered pitifully, trying to take hold of Hana's sleeves and failing. "I'm going to be lost in the darkness and nobody's going to care…" He bowed his head, shoulders heaving as he sobbed miserably. "No one's going to come save me once you leave…"

The young nurse holding Houjun lifted his hands with hers as she cupped his chin in her hands. "If I let go, will you hurt yourself?" she asked quietly, her voice deadly serious.

Houjun shook his head solemnly, looking at Hana with such sadness and pain in his eyes that the nurse felt her heart break for him.

"D'you promise?" she pressed, staring intently into the troubled whirlpools of emotion that were Houjun's eyes. "You won't cut yourself again?"

Again Houjun shook his head and dropped his gaze to his blood-stained hands. "I promise, just let me hold you…I- I need to feel your arms around me…I-It makes me feel safe…"

Hana smiled a little and let go of the other's hands. "Can you wait just a little bit though?" the nurse asked, giving the rapidly spreading pools of scarlet on Houjun's arms and knees a worried look. "I have to patch you up or else you'll pass out, okay?"

Houjun nodded reluctantly and held out his right arm, the one with the most injuries on it.

"There's my brave boy." Hana said encouragingly, reaching around Houjun to get at the first aid kit tucked under the night table. "I promise. I'll make it quick and then you can hold me for as long as you want." Hana set the kit down beside her and held out her left hand. "If you want to, you can hold my hand until I'm done."

Houjun looked at her for a second, a thousand different feelings and thoughts swirling through his mind, then slowly took the nurse's hand in his. Hana felt new tears stinging the corners of he eyes and she kissed Houjun's hand, laying her cheek on the back of his palm. "I came so close to losing you again…" she whispered closing her eyes and letting two tears slip down her cheeks. "I was so scared that I wouldn't make it this time…" 

She pulled the young man to her again and for a long time the two stayed that way, holding tightly to each other, one in relief and fear the other needing to feel the safety of a loving touch.

A/N: And so it ends because Tenshi is dead tired and needs to buy a camera (yes, I'm buying a camera at one am. Stupid Ebay and it's twenty four hour bidding rules!) Sorry if this made anyone cringe or cry or something and you now hate me for it, but I had to write the chapter this way. First of all, my muse wouldn't have it any other way and secondly, this is based on real people who suffer from real problems like this. If it seems harsh, I'm sorry but this is the real world and in the real world when they see no other alternative and the pain becomes too intense to bear, this is how some people sooth their shattered souls. Scary I know, but it's true. So on that rather dismal not I leave you all until next chapter,

~Tenshi Kitsune~