"OK, Snitch, now, no living up to your nickname while we're in here, OK, babe? Please?" she said, looking at him seriously.
"All right, although I can't believe you guys won't believe me when I say I've stopped stealing" said Snitch, pouting.
God, he's cute when he pouts. One of the many reasons I love 'im.
Anyways, I was glad for the stop, at any rate. I mean, I love kissing Snitch, but you can only make out for so long. So I'd been listening to music, and he'd been scribbling in a notebook for the past 45 minutes. When I asked him what he was writing, he blushed and said, "Nothing." I didn't believe him, but that's OK, I mean, what you write is private, right? (Awww…sorry, really bad pun…I'll stop) Like a journal, or whatever.
Once we got inside, I realized just how long I'd been sitting, guzzling my Mountain Dew, and made a mad dash for the bathroom, but Spot beat me to it.
I banged on the door and yelled, "Hurry it up, Conlon! I really gotta fucking go!"
"Eh, screw you!" came the response.
"No thanks!" I yelled back, grinning. "Not from you, at any rate."
I could almost sense him giving me the finger through the door. And I couldn't help but grin.
At last he came out, looking better than when he came in, I noticed. He must've put on some mascara, or something.
I rolled my eyes. Spot was so flaming GAY it was hysterical. And at other times, supremely annoying. Like right now, when he was hogging the bathroom, and I REALLY had to go.
I relieved myself, then washed my hands and went to go find some extremely fattening snack that, amazingly, I can still eat, and never seem to gain an ounce. HUZZAH!
"Huzzah!" I said softly, picking out a full-size bag of nacho cheese Doritos. I wasn't gonna eat the whole bag, I was gonna share with my car. Yeesh. Then I went and found a liter bottle of Pepsi.
"Skitts, if you drink that whole thing, we're gonna end up stopping within an hour" drawled Liz's voice, from where she was trying to restrain Itey and Blink from grabbing one of everything.
"BLINK! ITEY! Just pick something!" she exclaimed, sounding very exasperated.
I chuckled softly. Thank God we didn't have either of them in our car, they were both riding with Jack. Heh heh heh. I wouldn't like to be him after they've both drunk their two bottles of pop each.
"Hey, babe" said Snitch softly in my ear, running his hand over my ass.
"Snitch!" I whispered, looking around to see if anyone was watching. When I figured out they weren't, I leaned in and kissed him. Hard. Because I hadn't had a taste of him for over an hour.
"A-HEM!" came a voice, and we jumped apart quickly. I noticed with amusement that Snitch had turned bright red.
"Ummm…hey, Itey!" he said, overcompensating. "Are we in your way?"
Itey grinned slightly, reaching into the case for another bottle. "Not really. Although, I'd stop doing that in public anymore if I were you, the attendant was gaping at you."
Snitch turned an even brighter red.
Itey chuckled. "But I heard him telling Jack that you two must really love each other, that's why you weren't able to keep your hands off each other. So it's OK. But if you want me to go pay for your stuff, I will. In case you don't wanna face him."
Snitch nodded, and handed Itey two bottles of Diet Pepsi, a pack of bubble gum, three sticks of beef jerky and a fiver. I, however, am known for not caring what others think, so I headed up to the counter with Itey.
"Ya know, you two belong in that Christina Aguilera video, 'Beautiful'. You know, where the two guys are making out on a bench, and she's saying how you should accept people, now matter how they look or act," said Itey, grinning at me again.
"I AM BEAUTIFUL, IN EVERY SINGLE WAY, YES WORDS WON'T BRING ME DOWN! WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY, YES WORDS WON'T BRING US DOWN, NO OH OH!" sang Liz and Spot.
"So don't you bring me down…oh oh, today" finished Blink.
"You know, you guys are complete numbskulls," I said, trying, and failing miserably, not to laugh.
"Yeah, we know," said Pie, who'd been lurking unseen (he's rather short) behind Liz (who's three inches shy of 6 feet). Liz jumped about a foot in the air, and whirled around.
"Gah, Pie! WARN me before you sneak up on me like that! Jeez, you just about gave me a heart attack!"
Pie grinned. "I was actually looking for Itey. They've got his favorite Little Debbie snacks here, and I was wondering if he wanted some."
"Oooh, Oatmeal Crème Pies!" said Itey, making a mad dash for the cupcakes and sweets aisle.
I rolled my eyes. "Can we please just pay and go? I, personally, don't wanna be pulling into wherever we're stopping at 2 a.m."
Everyone else agreed, and we all headed up to the counter to pay.
So, after we gave a chunk of our money to corporate America, and doing our part to clog up our arteries some more, we all piled back into our respective cars, and headed down the interstate. I was riding with Liz, which wasn't so bad, since we didn't have Blink and Itey. I'd looked over at their car, and they were having a contest of who could chug the most pop, and then burp the loudest. Or so Pie told me over the walkie-talkie.
"It's seriously disgusting" he whined. "And they just won't STOP!!"
I laughed. "Now, don't you wish you were riding in this car?" I teased.
"YES!"
"Well, too bad" I laughed. "You're stuck there, at least until tomorrow. By then, maybe I'll be feeling nice, and I'll switch with ya."
The sounds of fake sobbing could be heard over the walkie-talkie.
"Oh, thank you, good, kind sir!" he said, sobbing hysterically. Then, in a more normal tone or voice, he said, "You have no idea how loud those two can burp!" he said, in a mixture of disgust and awe. "I swear, Itey's last one was at least a 6 on the Richter scale."
I laughed again. "Dude, since when are you a burpologist?"
"I'm not, dude. But I did have to take a class last semester about earthquakes. So trust me, I know all about the Richter scale."
"Mariposa. Dude, we've got to get you a boyfriend, or something. Keep you occupied. I hear Itey is single…" I trailed off laughing, but stopped mid-chuckle when I realized he wasn't sharing my laughter.
"Talk to ya later, Bumlets" he said, and clicked off the walkie-talkie.
"What was that all about?" I asked aloud. The only response I got was the strains of 'Take Me Or Leave Me' from RENT. Then Spot turned around.
"God, are all straight guys this dense?" he asked, rolling his shadowed eyes. "Pie and Itey have a thing for each other, dumbass, they just won't admit it, especially not to one another. God, everyone's noticed it but you. You are SO dense. The only thing you've got going for you is that you're pretty damn sexy."
I blushed. "Spot. I thought we agreed that you were gonna stop making comments like that. Go find yourself a nice mariposa, but I ain't interested."
"What's mariposa mean?" he asked curiously.
"It's Spanish for 'butterfly', and it's used as a derogatory term for gay people. Por ejemplo: tu. Tu es muy feminita, y muy elegente. Liz?"
"Oh, claro que si. Spot es muy feminita, pero no elegente. El es muy bajo y comico."
"Oh, claro que si."
Spot, during this whole exchange, had looking back and forth at us, like a spectator at a tennis match. "OK, what the hell did you two just say, and what the hell did it mean?!" he demanded.
Liz chuckled. "I'm gonna let you field this one, Bumlets. You started it."
I pouted, then chuckled. "All right. But I'm suing you if your cousin breaks one of my bones. I said, 'For example: you. You are very feminine, and very elegant. Liz said, 'Of course! Spot is very feminine, but not elegant. He's very short and funny'."
I laughed at the look on Spot's face. Snitch and Skitts were howling in the backseat, and Liz was determinedly looking at the road. But not even that could conceal the ever-growing grin on her face. Spot was looking at all of us like we were nuts.
"OK! New car rule: If you insult someone in another language, tell them what it means afterwards. It's only polite" said Liz, in a pitiful peacemaking attempt.
"Prendere l'inferno lontano da me!" said Race from the back seat. Everyone turned to look at him.
He looked right back. "It means 'Get the hell away from me!'. We were on the subject of insults…Never mind."
I was kind of surprised. This was pretty much the first time all trip that Race had spoken. And, to tell you the truth, I'd kind of forgotten that he was there.
"Um, Race? How're you doing back there?" asked Liz. She looked at him kind of guiltily, and I think she'd also forgotten that he was there.
"I'm pretty good," he said, sounding faintly amused. "Why? Did y'all forget about me?"
"Kind of, actually. You've just been so damn quiet. Something wrong?"
"No…nothing you could help with anyway." And with that, he clammed up, and wouldn't say anything about it.
I know they mean well, but I just can't tell them. I can't tell them that…God, I can't even say it to myself. How on EARTH could I say it to them?
Answer: I couldn't.
So I just kept my little secret to myself, and tried to enjoy the remaining 100 miles to Allentown, Pennsylvania, where we were stopping for the night. It wasn't too hard, I mean, Liz has a HUGE CD collection, and every hundred miles or so, Spot would change the CD, if it hadn't played out already. So, against the wishes of everyone else, he'd put in Christina Aguilera, and was now singing along to 'Makeover'.
"I JUST WANNA GET AWAY, SAVIN' ALL YOUR BULLSHIT FOR ANOTHER DAY!!" he was singing, in an off-key voice.
"OK, Spot, switch it to number 14, I really don't like this song," said Liz, after about two minutes of Spot's yowling.
Spot made a face, but did as she asked. "So, what, are you gonna sing along?" he asked, as the opening notes of 'Soar' came through the speakers.
"DUH! When they push, when they pull, tell me can you hold on? When they say you should change, can you lift your head high, and stay strong? Will you give up, give in, When your heart's cryin' out that it's wrong? Will you love you for you at the end pf it all? Sing with me, Bumlets!"
Bumlets joined in eagerly. "NOW IN LIFE, THERE'S GONNA BE TIMES, WHEN YOU'RE FEELIN' LOW! AND IN YOUR MIND, INSECURITIES SEEM TO TAKE CONTROL! WE START TO LOOK OUTSIDE OURSELVES, FOR ACCEPTANCE AND APPROVAL! WE KEEP FORGETTING, THAT THE ONE THING WE SHOULD KNOW IS-"
"WHEN TO SHUT UP!!" I yelled. I had a headache, and they were getting kind of annoying.
"Geez, Race, SOR-REE! What's with you, anyways? Ever since that rest stop you've been, kind of, well, I don't know, extra-cranky, if that's possible."
I flipped her the bird in the review mirror. "Oh, fuck off!" I said, a little more vehemently then I'd meant to. "You guys have NO idea what I'm going through right now."
Liz rolled her eyes. Then, something seemed to snap in them. She pulled the car over to the shoulder, and shut it off. Then she got out, came around to the side, opened my door, and said in an imperious voice, sounding exactly like my mother, "Out. Now."
I was to startled to do anything but obey. I unbuckled, and crawled out of the car. I followed her to the grass alongside the interstate, folded my arms, and asked, "What?" in a real smart-ass voice.
"I don't know what the FUCK is up with you, Racetrack Higgins, but whatever the beef is you have with the world, grill it up and eat it!" she said, sounding just like Denzel Washington in Remember The Titans.
I just looked at her. She's not known for getting angry, but she's just enough Irish, so that when she does, you do NOT want to be subjected to the outpouring of her wrath. It's NOT fun, trust me.
"Why the hell do you care?" I asked, not looking her in the eyes, because I'm sure they were glaring daggers at me.
"Look, Race," she said, her voice softening. "I care, because you're one of my best friends, and if you're unhappy, I wanna know why, and if I can fix it." She gave me a grin. "Just…don't bottle it all up inside, OK? No more outbursts like that, for the sake of our sanity." Then, she looked at something over my shoulder. "They're all watching us," she whispered. Then she yelled, "OK! BACK INSIDE!! SHOW'S OVER!!" I crawled back inside the car, and we took off again.
"So, Race, what was that all about?" whispered Snitch, crawling down to sit beside me on the floor,(Liz had taken the middle seat out) and looking at me quizzically.
"Nothing" I said softly. "Just…nothing. It's OK, Snitch, I'm not suicidal, or anything," I said, attempting to smile. "But, I'd rather not talk about now, OK? Maybe later."
Snitch looked at me for a second, then nodded, and gave me a hug. And that embrace was enough to reassure me, that I had friends who cared about me, and who were looking out for me.
And that felt really good.
When we saw the other car stop, we debated briefly whether or not to stop, but decided they had it under control. Besides, Liz and Race both looked really pissed. So we just kept driving. Besides, they looked like they needed to hash this out without Blink trying to be the diplomat, and Jack trying to make everyone "feel better". That usually just ended up in disaster.
"Hey, Jack," I said, yawning, "Exactly how far is it to Allentown? 'Cause we just passed a sign, but I couldn't see what it said."
"About another half-hour. Then we'll stop, get checked in, eat, watch some T.V., crash, etc. Sound good?"
I stretched out my arms as best I could in the tiny car. "Sure does. Damn, this car seems to be getting smaller by the mile!"
"Hey!" exclaimed Jack indignantly. "This is a good car, and please, no insulting it, or I'll make ya ride with Mr. And Ms. Hot-Blooded."
That shut me up pretty quick.
A half an hour later, as promised, we pulled into Allentown, Pennsylvania, and checked into two five-person rooms at the Holiday Inn Express, with a door in the middle, so we could come and go as we liked.
"Are you a doctor?" I asked Blink, grinning.
"No, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."
The room around us exploded into laughter. We'd gotten some hard lemonade (Jack is 21, he's the oldest), and we were laughing it up, all of us in one room. And all of us slightly tipsy.
It's a mother's worst nightmare. Spot was dozing, mumbling something incoherently, and Liz was saying, "I should be recording this. See?! He does talk in his sleep!"
Snitch and Skitts had gotten totally plastered, and were making out on one of the couches. No big surprise there, huh?
I looked around the room, surveying my friends. Apparently, Snitch and Skitts can't hold their liquor, and neither can Spot, but Jack, Liz, and Race didn't seem affected. They were carrying on a conversation, without showing any signs of being intoxicated.
I shook my head. "Hey, guys? It's almost midnight. Shouldn't we go to bed? Especially you, Jack, and you, Liz. You guys need to sleep off the alcohol, so you can drive tomorrow."
"What are you, Pie, my mother?" asked Liz, in an attempt at sarcasm, but she agreed, as did Jack. So we all trooped off to bed: Jack, Blink, Spot, Race, and Liz in one room, and Itey, Bumlets, Snitch, me, and Skitts in the other.
It'd be interesting to see how the night turned out.
A/N: WOO-HOO!! It's DONE!! YEAH!! It took me ALL DAY to finish this, but I kept getting up, and I went shopping for a couple hours, so I guess that explains it, don't it? Anyways, on to shoutouts!
Second Author's Note: I'd like to set a challenge before you, my dear reviewers. I'm trying to decide whether to pair Race with Jack and Bumlets. Put in your review who you think he should go with, I'd like some input. Thanx! NOW, on to shoutouts!
SHOUTOUTS:
Coin: While we're on the subject of toasting things (starts singing) "To hand-crafted beers made in local breweries, To yoga, to yoga, to rice and beans and cheese! To leather, to dildos, to blahde-blahde loo! To juevos rancheros and Maya Angelou!" Sorry, I've kind of got a RENT fixation as of late, and I LOVE that song (which is 'La Vie Boheme', if you didn't recognize it.)! Love ya, thanx for the review!
Erin Go Braugh: Yeah!! Another update, oh so full of slashy goodness! WOO-HOO!! Never fear, it shall get more and more random and intriguing as it marches forward.
Trolley: Yeah! A RHCP fan! They're becoming hard to come by, I only know of a couple on ff.net, but that's OK, right? Right! Love ya!
Where will they stop next? Hmmm…I wonder…We'll see! Toodles! Please review!